BXBX NOVEL Chapter 472 The Crack In Her Wall (2)
Meng Renshu stiffened when she heard the deep sadness in her tone. He slowly raised his head and was shocked to see her face's anguish and agony.
Before this, she always tried to avoid talking about their past. She had no interest in what was right or wrong and just wanted to forget all about it.
The walls she built between them were too thick; he couldn't touch her. The regret, pain, and anguish they both felt at that time were entirely obscured by that wall. But even if it was fleeting and small, there was a crack in that wall right then, allowing him to see past through her facade.
How hurt she must have been? What happened in the past must have tortured her whole being so much. She recoiled even on the slightest idea of talking about it.
And the one who drove her to the corner was him.
Meng Renshu felt like crying, but he steeled himself. He was determined to hear what she wanted to say, even though he trembled in fear of what she would say.
"You are right. It was me who betrayed you first. I don't deserve to be forgiven."
Li Caiyi's corner lip curled down. She was overwhelmed with a surge of emotion she had withheld for so long. "I was so scared and lonely back then. My family had abandoned me, and even my husband wanted nothing to do with me. Why? Why didn't you listen to me?"
"I was wrong. It was all my fault."
"Is it because I was only a fake? A substitute for Xiaohua?" Li Caiyi's voice shook greatly. It carried so much bitterness and grievance. Meng Renshu could almost feel her sorrow.
"No, of course not!" He unknowingly raised his voice. "I have never once thought of you as anyone's substitute! Never!"
"Lies. Then why did you keep meeting Xiaohua behind my back? You were always in a hurry to leave whenever you were with me. You rarely come home, and you always give me the cold shoulder. You are also…."
Meng Renshu silently listened to her complain. He had never seen her talk so much like this in his lifetimes.
Li Caiyi was either very reserved in the past or avoided him like the plague in the current lifetime. This sight fascinated him since this was the first time he saw this side of hers.
She almost burst out in tears, and her cheeks flushed in a slight embarrassment. Her mouth puckered, and the way she glared at him was oddly lovely.
'What should I do? I should have listened to her, but she was so cute that it distracted me. How can she be so endearing when she is angry? She will be pissed if she knows what I'm thinking.'
Meng Renshu himself was surprised by this. If he could feel this strongly towards her, that was proof of how hard he had fallen for her. He took the long detour to reach this far, but he seemed to finally find his answer.
He couldn't give up on her, after all.
When he saw how Dai Zhiqiang saved her on the mountain, he was crushed under the heavy sense of powerlessness. She looked so happy with him; seeing her leave with another man was excruciating.
This was surely what Li Caiyi had felt in their previous life. Karma really bit him hard. He brought this upon himself.
All he did was hurt her. He wasn't worthy of her. So he tried to let her go. At least he could be by her side as a friend. He thought that was enough for him.
But he clearly underestimated his need for her. The more he tried to distance himself, the more tortured he was.
He had no reason to meet her during summer break. Still, he desperately wanted to see her, so he begged his father to let him tag along to the Glorious Days anniversary party. He even asked for a special favor from Shao Yufei to make a special event for her.
Looking at her brilliant self from the audience seat, Meng Renshu was overcome with pride, love, and regret. He once had her by his side, but he wasted that chance.
He wanted one more chance to be with her. It might be shameless for him to ask, but he couldn't help wanting to reach her again. To have her in his arm.
"What's so funny? Why are you laughing?"
Li Caiyi's snappy voice woke him up from his daydream. He reached up to feel his mouth. "Did I smile?"
"Yeah, a weird one at that. Are you even listening to me?"
Meng Renshu used to be so afraid to hear her deepest thoughts, but he strangely felt peaceful after seeing her bare her mind and hear before him. This bubbling and sweet feeling, he hoped, would last forever.
"Xiaoyi, I know I'm a failure as your husband. I won't try to make any excuse. But know this, I have always been sincere towards you." Meng Renshu gazed at her intensely. "From the beginning of our marriage until our bitter end, I decided only to keep one woman beside me, and that was you."
"But you always leave to see Xiaohua." Li Caiyi harrumphed.
"She is my secretary. I was bound to meet her in the office whether I liked it. This is why I was reluctant to accept her as my secretary, but you kept pushing her to my side. I conceded out of spite." Meng Renshu sighed in defeat.
Li Caiyi didn't buy it. "But you met with her even outside work. And don't try to deny because there is proof of that."
"We were just eating together and nothing else. And didn't Xiaohua always ask for your permission before we go out?"
"What's that? I have never heard such a thing." Li Caiyi squinted her eyes.
"Huh? But I thought…." Meng Renshu was about to say something before an idea hit him. Then, he laughed in a mixture of disbelief and awe. "So that's where the problem lies."
Li Caiyi said nothing, but looking at his reaction, she also seemed to have a vague idea. It must be one of her sister's schemes.
"What about the time when you brought her to the party instead of me?"
"I knew my mother often dragged you to social activities without notice. You must have been overwhelmed, considering how reserved you are. I thought I should spare you some of those troublesome occasions as much as possible. I didn't want to burden you."
"What? Then why didn't you ever tell me that?"
Meng Renshu laughed again, this time mirthlessly. "Xiaohua said to leave the talk to her. I should have explained the circumstances to you again later. That was my bad."
Li Caiyi almost couldn't believe it. Just how far does her sister's scheme extend? Both of them were completely caught in her web and forced to play in the palm of her hand.
Li Chunhua had changed but recalling how frightening she was sent cold shivers all over her body. It was a good thing she unmasked her early in this life.
Meng Renshu could guess what was on Li Caiyi's mind, so he tapped the blanket covering her lower body. "I don't know if you believe me, but Xiaohua probably never truly loved me. I once asked her that, but she didn't give me an answer. I guessed it was only me who thought highly of our love back then."
Was that the truth? Only Li Chunhua from that time knew the answer. However, seeing how Li Chunhua had changed, she knew one thing for sure.
"I can't say for sure if she loved you, but I didn't think those sweet times she spent with you were a complete lie. We…were twins, after all. I could vaguely guess what was in her heart, the same as how she guessed mine. Both of you looked so happy together back then. Have faith in those times."
There was a brooding silence for a few moments before Meng Renshu broke it, "Xiaoyi, I have the liberty of reading your book after you pass away."
"My book? What are you talking about?" Li Caiyi tilted her head in confusion.
"So you really didn't mean for your script to be published." Meng Renshu smiled faintly. "Very well, let me tell you everything I know about what happened after your passing."