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Chapter 79: Chapter 12

December 31st (Thursday) – Ayase Saki

"It's a hard-packed floor…" I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

Asamura-kun's family's house (or Stepdad's family) was much bigger than I had imagined. Not to mention that it was relatively old. Judging by the architecture, it was probably built in the early Showa period. It had tiles for a roof, with a tataki at the doma. After stepping into the doorway, the hallway shone brightly like ebony, making it obvious how well it had been looked after.

I really love these kinds of old, Japanese-style houses. Looking at buildings and furniture that has survived the passage of time thanks to the care of the inhabitants tells me the story they went through, and I like doing that. The hallway that was hidden by the covered storm shutter was illuminated up by the winter sun's shine. It was directly connected to the garden, and the covers of the storm shutters had faint signs of rain remaining on them.

But leaving that aside, I was feeling a bit… no, I was extremely nervous. To be perfectly honest, I was scared. I began to regret that I had so nonchalantly agreed to come with the others, but at the same time, I felt disgusted at myself for my unfriendliness, and I wanted to cry. I'm different from Maaya, who can open her heart to practically anybody within three minutes. Stepdad's mother seemed like a genuinely nice person, and she was smiling throughout my introduction, but I still can't fight this sense of nervousness assaulting me. From the sliding screen to the left of us, I heard loud banter.

"My, my, they're awfully lively today." Stepdad's mother said, opening the sliding screen.

There were several people sitting around a table in the large Japanese-style room. Met with the pressure emitted by them, I took a step backward.

"Taichi is here."

"Oh! Finally! It must have been a long drive from Tokyo."

An elderly man with white hair responded and stood up. He's probably Stepdad's father. And to me, he's my step-grandfather.

"It's been a while, Akiko-san. Are you doing well?"

"Yes. It's nice to see you again, Father-in-law." Mom lowered her head, which caused all of the gazes in the room to focus on her, and soon they moved to me.

Since even I could tell it wasn't 100% welcoming feelings that were packed into this gaze, I felt my heart growing heavy. I don't think they hold any particular resentment toward us, but it was more like they didn't know how to interact with us.

"Yes, yes. Let's leave the introductions for later. I'm sure they must be tired, so I'll show them to their rooms." Stepdad's grandmother said and let us escape.

She pushed the sliding screen shut again, cutting off all the gazes from the inside, which let me breathe in peace again. The fists I had formed in fear started to relax, too. But still, they felt very sweaty. I was feeling sick, like I was about to throw up. Is this how every person feels when they meet the family of their marriage partner, especially if it's a remarriage? Maybe my armament was a bit too much in a place like this. I took a deep breath and wondered if I should have dyed my hair black for at least these few days. Maybe I'm thinking about it too much.

In the end, high school students like us are allowed to act this way. The same goes for university students. If you reach this sort of age, wearing makeup, accessories, and these sorts of things is perfectly normal. Since even Suisei High allows this, it should be normal in today's day and age—is what I would like to think, but the sheer pressure of everyone's gazes caused me to falter. I took another deep breath. Calm down. I didn't come here to fight.

We would all be staying in a room of around 13 square meters in size. Seeing the four separate futons in the corner made me realize that we'd all be sleeping in the same room. Basically, Asamura-kun and I would be sleeping much closer than usual. I mean, our parents will be with us, but still… Wait, that means he'll see my sleeping face when I get up in the morning, and even my position when I sleep? Do they… really only have this room?

"I'm sorry we couldn't find more rooms for your children this year, the thing is—"

Yep, this was the only room. While I was thinking this, the sliding screen to our room was pushed to the side. A man and woman entered, both of them looking around 25 to 26 years old. I immediately guessed that they were a couple. The woman was constantly looking at the man, after all. Asamura-kun called him "Kousuke-san." He is Asamura-kun's cousin and 8 years older… which means he's 25. Yep, just as I guessed. And the woman standing next to him said that the two had gotten married recently.

"Oh, really?! Congratulations, Kousuke-kun!" Stepdad was beaming with joy.

Meanwhile, Asamura-kun stared at them in disbelief, his mouth open. He's definitely surprised by this. Maybe this is the first time he even found out that his cousin was dating someone. Meanwhile, Stepdad introduced Mom to them, and I said my name s well.

"So, you've got a younger sister now, Yuuta?"

"Ah, yes."

"Oh, huh. I thought you'd gotten married, too." He spoke with a teasing tone, so he probably knew that I was Asamura-kun's step-sister the moment he stepped into the room.

"There's no way. I'm still in high school." Asamura-kun returned with a calm tone, but I could tell that deep inside, he was definitely panicking.

After we moved the luggage into the corner of the room, Stepdad and Mom went over to our other relatives. Left behind, Asamura-kun and I talked with the other two—Kousuke-san and Nagisa-san. They had gotten to know each other from the same friend group in university. They started dating ages ago, but they're still as lively as newlyweds. They also explained the reason they had handed in the marriage form before holding a proper ceremony.

Namely, the fact that Kousuke-san will be moving overseas for his job. And Nagisa-san decided to follow him. That's why they wouldn't be having the ceremony yet. Or rather, that they wouldn't make it in time before they left. Honestly, I realized I was underestimating what it meant to hold a marriage ceremony. To think you'd have to start looking for a venue half a year prior. Getting married in itself sounds like a lot of trouble.

Plus, I never would have imagined myself wanting to hold a marriage ceremony at one point. The man and woman in front of me had begun walking the path of life only a few years earlier than I. It was definitely possible that my life could take a similar path to theirs. And although I wanted to ask a lot more questions, Asamura-kun's younger cousins arrived. They were a brother and sister, both in grade school. They had bright-colored hair and cute facial features. It felt like they could brighten up the room with just a smile. They seemed fairly clingy with Asamura-kun, hanging off of him as they asked to play together, and Asamura-kun gladly accepted the offer.

It was decided that we'd be playing games, so we moved to a room with a TV. Kousuke-san and Nagisa-san went back to the other adults, and we stayed here with the children. Watching all of this unfold, I had to admire Asamura-kun once more. Seeing him handle the young children so well made me think of him like a young father. For a moment, I wondered if he'd be this kind of a father if he ever had children, but I then shook my head in a panic because I was clearly jumping the gun here. First of all, you can't become a father all on your own. You can't have children as a single man. For that, you would need a wife, and—Wait. Again, I'm thinking too far into the future.

As it turns out, the two children were pretty good at playing games. Since the last time I had played any games was back when Maaya came to visit, it went pretty much how I would have expected, but I've got a pretty bad sense when it comes to games. In the game in question, we were small cooks who were grilling meat, cutting vegetables, swinging around pots and frying pans and cleaning the dishes. In reality, I had repeated these simple acts over and over, but with a small controller, I couldn't get a good feeling for it. In the end, my meat caught on fire and burned down the whole kitchen.

"Ahhhhh!"

"A-chan, are you bad at cooking?"

Words sharp like an arrow stabbed me right where it hurt. I felt myself close to tearing up. I knew I shouldn't be so sensitive when it came to what young children like them said. When I looked at Asamura-kun, he was just smiling and nodding.

"Hey, now, Mika. Ayase-san is a great cook. This is just because it's a game. But we can clear it next time. Right, Ayase-san?"

"You don't have to protect my pride like that. That just hurts even more."

Realizing that this was all because I couldn't deal with young children frustrated me even more. But I just don't know what to do, so I can't help it. I'd have a much easier time dealing with adults. I just can't handle kids. Sitting here made me feel like I'd rather be going through another lecture by Assistant Professor Kudou. I reminisced about the time I was the same age as these two. At that time, I thought that every adult other than my mother was an enemy. Just imagining how the past me would think if she saw me like this makes me feel terrified.

Since I've seen the bad side of adults, I have no confidence that I actually seem like an adult in their eyes. Baseless assumptions that they hated me and whatnot started to fill my mind instead. When we were called in for dinner, I was already mentally exhausted. And yet this was where the real fight would begin. When we're all sitting together, I'll have to introduce myself to our new relatives, alongside Mom. It made me realize that marrying someone means that you have to deal with their relatives and other children, something completely different from just studying or talking about fashion.

Sitting in the large banquet hall of the Asamura Family, I once again introduced myself. After that, all of the other relatives did the same. But I'm sorry, I can't remember anything after that. By the time I was getting sleepy because I had eaten too much—

"Should we head out now?" Stepdad's father said and everyone stood up at the same time.

They talked about visiting the shrine. Asamura-kun explained that it'd be fine for me to stay here if I was feeling sleepy, but there was no way I'd stay in this huge of a house all by myself.

"…I'm going." I responded briefly and followed after Asamura-kun.

I'm glad he's here with me. Mom is way too busy staying around Stepdad and the other relatives and has no time to even look at me. I don't want to drag her down just because I don't feel too secure here. If not for him, I probably would have holed myself up in my room. Really, I'm so glad he's here.

The shrine we headed to was located deep in the mountains. Or up the mountain, depending on how you'd like to phrase it. Not to mention that it would take a whole two kilometers of walking to reach that place. Can you imagine how long that would take? But I also didn't want to wait for them to come back in the car. Plus—

"Well, let me know if it gets too much. Next time, we can let you wait."

He probably said it without meaning too much by it, but I was happy. He was saying that we would come here again next year. I understand that he said that because he cared about me, but he was ready to leave me behind. I understood that two kilometers were nothing to scoff at, but once we actually started walking, it became pretty fun. I've always enjoyed looking at antiques and older buildings. I may not be as passionate as some kind of history buff, but indulging in a building's past has always been interesting to me. Not to mention that the winter scenery at night and the various parts of the shrine made me excited, too. Plus, talking with Asamura-kun about it helped me cheer up.

"It's just like how you're interested in how an old building ended up in its current state, yeah?"

Being told that by Asamura-kun made me gasp. I've never once looked at myself from such an objective perspective. Humans can't normally observe their own appearances. And maybe I never totally understood what kind of person I truly was. Maybe I could never truly see myself because of the armament I wore. If so, then keeping it at a moderate defensive level should be fine, right? How would I know if my armament hadn't turned into the skin of a hedgehog? I just don't want to get hurt. This doesn't mean I'm fine hurting others.

I think it took us around 40 minutes of walking one way. On the way there, it passed midnight, and we were greeted by the new year. Reaching the offerings box, we threw our change inside and put our hands together. Closing my eyes, the memories of the past year flew around inside my head. The memories of the last few months were especially prominent. Back in June, Mom and I moved in with Asamura-kun and his father. After meeting him, my way of life drastically changed. My father had left an immensely negative impression on me when it came to men. I didn't want them to have any control over me or my life. I did my best at school to be able to live independently and live on my own two feet, but I also didn't want people to see me as some studying addict who could only do that.

Thinking back on it now, the offer of an exchange I made towards Asamura-kun was one of the most embarrassing things I had ever done, even if I did it in order to not have any debts I owe to other people, and to not have to rely on another man. That's why I made that bet with my body on the line. And yet Asamura-kun scolded me. I think it started back then… I had begun chasing after his shadow.

I chose to work at the same bookstore as Asamura-kun did, realized that I held romantic feelings for him, and still opted to lock these away and call him Nii-san. Standing here, it makes sense. It may have looked like I was choosing my own future for myself, but in the end, it all reverted back to him. On the day of the open campus when I met Kudou-sensei, she told me that being too narrow with my field of view would be the enemy of all reason and wisdom. She argued that I should keep an eye open for other men—And yet, Asamura-kun suddenly confessed to me.

That's why we both agreed to be friendly siblings who are on good terms. And that we would allow anything that would fall under that idea. We adjusted to each other and decided that we would suppress our feelings of wanting to cross that line.

After we finished our prayer, Asamura-kun spoke up. "What did you wish for?"

"I was too busy thinking about everything that happened this year. I didn't have time to wish for anything."

"Same here," Asamura-kun let out a snicker.

Looking at his eyes, he gave off the impression that he had organized his thoughts and feelings, the light in his eyes making it seem like he was feeling refreshed. When he shows me that kind of expression, it makes me realize… Realize that I like him.

Asamura-kun said that there would be a "next time." So that's what I'll wish for. I hope that I can come here again with Asamura-kun next year.