BXBX NOVEL Chapter 78 - 11
Chapter 78: Chapter 11
December 31st (Thursday) – Asamura Yuuta
The sky was grey, my breath white, and the cold air blowing against my cheek hurt ever so lightly. At around 6 am, the sky to the east began to light up ever so faintly, but it was still pretty much dark out. When we have to get up and leave this early, it becomes pretty clear that Tokyo and Nagano are quite a distance apart from each other. You could reach the tourist spot Karuizawa with the bullet train, but since my old man's family lives fairly deep in the mountains, that's not gonna work.
We'll only be there for two nights, but preparing everything was still a hasty mess. We all went around the house checking for what we needed, what we needed to buy, and what we wouldn't need. It's honestly been a while since I've experienced this much stress. In fact, the last time was probably when Ayase-san and Akiko-san moved here. Back then we moved together like a flock of birds moving everything inside the house.
In contrast to that, we're now actually acting like a family, preparing to head out for what could be considered a vacation, and I didn't dislike this feeling. The one who seemed the most nervous out of all of us was Akiko-san. These two haven't held a marriage ceremony yet. In other words, this is the first time she'll meet my old man's relatives. Though she's met my grandparents at least. I think they had a meal together.
In order to get married, an adult man and woman only need each other's consent, and the family can't go against their decision from a legal standpoint. Even if they were against Akiko-san being my old man's wife, there's no reason to worry. At least, again, legally and on the surface. However, reality is always cruel and realistic. Plus, unlike random acquaintances, it's hard to completely cut your relatives off from your life. If they hate you, it eats away at your mental state. Whether that's a grandmother, cousin, or parent.
…Or even your step-sister. Even if you hold genuine dislike towards the other person, you'll regularly run into them, so it's hard to avoid each other. And since Akiko-san pretty much was fighting a long-distance battle, she didn't hold back when it came to thorough preparation. The fight had already begun. And she'd be fighting the enemy on their home turf.
We packed everything necessary into a bag, which included drinks, snacks, a change of clothes, toiletries, and a wallet—Basically regular traveling equipment, but the most important thing was souvenirs for the family, after all. These we hadn't forgotten. Three boxes of wrapped snacks for the three families were all stored away in the trunk of the car.
Akiko-san glanced down at the checklist in her hand, making sure we had packed everything. Part of that was New Year's presents for the younger children. She even had their names written down with the corresponding amount. This is probably thanks to her experience serving customers as a bartender. She must have asked for all the names of these children from my old man. Once again, she's displaying perfectly adult behavior and what is expected from an adult. Being mindful of your surroundings lets you get off without major problems, and you don't lose out on much. It's the way of the adult, I guess.
When I imagine myself getting married, and realize that the same thing will be expected of me, I can already feel my head hurting. And it gives me stomachaches. I do like my cousins, but that doesn't change the fact that all this extra work sounds like a pain. Can you just have these sorts of important social gatherings and events on social networks instead? But even as my thoughts drifted around, my hands kept moving.
Then again, most of my belongings easily fit into a sports bag. I don't need to change that often, and the only thing I can't forget is my school homework. When I was younger, I'd usually take like three or four copies of books with me, but now I can just save them on my phone. Sometimes the progress of technology isn't so bad.
"I think it's time to head out," my old man said, so we headed to the parking lot outside our flat.
"This is the first time the four of us have headed somewhere together, huh?"
"Oh yeah, that's right." Akiko-san nodded at my old man's statement.
If you live in a big city like this, you rarely have to use your car. So this'll be the first time we're all traveling together.
"I haven't even taken a ride in Stepdad's car yet."
"Don't worry, he drives safely," Akiko-san said.
It sounds like she has experienced my old man driving before. By the time we left the parking lot, the sky had already begun to light up halfway. We all hopped in the car, closing off the cold air from the outside. And since we'd be heading to Nagano during the winter, the tires had already been changed into winter ones. If we used the Kan-Etsu and the Joshin-Etsu Highways, and if there weren't any traffic jams or snow on the road, we should reach our destination in about four hours. And since it's near the end of the year, there's a good chance we'll encounter both. That's why we estimated our arrival would be in the afternoon. And that's also why we left this early.
"I think it'll just be Akiko-san and I next year. You two will be busy with entrance exams, and then you'll find your own relationships once you enter university. In fact, we might not get many more chances to travel with the four of us. That's why I wanted us to go together as a family this year at least. Although it might be a bit boring since there's not much to see…"
"You both have to prepare for entrance exams starting next year, after all. How time flies."
My old man and Akiko-san both said the same thing. Basically, this could be our last time going on a trip. These words reverberated deep inside of me. I put on my seatbelt and leaned against my seat, thinking to myself.
Our last time, huh? I glanced over at my step-sister, sitting on the opposite side of the back row. She had her earphones in as she gazed outside the window and up at the sky turning bright. She seemed to have noticed my gaze. She removed one earbud and looked at me, which made her medium-length hair sway a bit.
"What's wrong?"
My heart skipped a beat.
"Ah, it's nothing… I was just thinking that you might be tired since it's this early."
"Actually… I might be a bit sleepy."
My old man heard that and spoke up.
"You can always take a nap if you'd like, Saki-chan."
"Thank you. But I'm fine for now." She put her earbud back in and entered the world of music once more.
She had her face turned towards the window, not looking at me. Even though we're close enough for our elbows to almost touch, she felt so distant… and it made me feel lonely. No, calm down. This is for the best, actually. Ayase-san and I are siblings still in high school, and we're sharing the same living space with our parents. We can't do anything that would cross the line of us being regular siblings, and we can't let anybody find out either.
Once all the doors were closed and the tires started moving, the sound of the wind outside soon disappeared, and the slight vibration began to lull me to sleep. My eyelids began to feel heavy, but thanks to the periodic conversations happening between Akiko-san and my old man, I somehow managed to stay awake. After experiencing a slight traffic jam, we passed the junction at Ooizumi and finally got onto the Kan-Etsu Highway. Using that, we traveled north into Saitama Prefecture.
During the ride, it was mostly our parents doing the talking, with the topics being about whatever came to mind, about life and the world—as well as Akiko-san's homemade cooking… So basically, it was the same as ever. As for myself, I would periodically comment on their conversation, but not participate much. Even so, I realized that Akiko-san must have been really nervous. And my old man probably realized it too. Then again, I understand that she must feel a lot of pressure. Especially when it comes to the eyes of our relatives.
For example, what would happen if Ayase-san and I made our relationship public? It'd just make things awkward for us, as well as our parents. Realistically speaking, we'll be attending school while living with our parents. That means we'd run into them every morning despite everything being so awkward. I don't even want to think about it. That being said, I can't even think of stopping the relationship I have with Ayase-san. Can I really give up on the girl I love this easily? I mean, it'd be one thing if she began to hate me.
But once I started thinking about that, another possibility rose inside my head. What if my relationship with Ayase-san were to end prematurely? And despite that, we'd still have to continue being siblings? Our relationship as brother and sister wouldn't disappear. Even if one of us gets married to someone else. I'm the older brother, and Ayase-san is the younger sister. Logic says that's how things will go, and both of our families see each other this way. Well, things would be different if our parents happened to break up—What am I even thinking? I shouldn't even consider that possibility. I shook my head.
"Is anything wrong, Yuuta? Motion sick?"
"I'm fine. I just had a nasty thought is all."
"Did you forget your homework?"
"…I have that with me, don't worry."
So my old man thinks that the worst thing filling my mind is homework? Well, I doubt he'd even consider that I'd be thinking about love and whatnot. Especially in close relation to his own daughter-in-law. And yet I let out another sigh that could be easily misunderstood. Meanwhile, Ayase-san's face was still glued to the world outside the window. It had cleared up fully, and the sun had come out to greet us now that we had reached more nature. Before, it was only peeking between the high-rise buildings of Shibuya. Both sides of the highway now are riddled with either trees or fields. It would have been beautiful scenery, but the winter season made it look dead and barren, creating a painting of black and brown. In the distance, we could see the snowy mountains.
Two hours into our drive, we opted to take a break at a rest stop.
As we drove further north, the sights around us changed from brown-ish to brown with a few touches of white here and there.
"There's some snow left."
"When it snows up here, it stays for a while."
"As you'd expect of Nagano," my old man said.
"Is this your first time seeing Nagano during the winter, Akiko-san?" I asked.
"I came here to ski many years ago."
"Can you ski?"
"If you refer to skiing as 'rolling down a mountain,' then yes."
I don't think that counts…
"How about you, Taichi-san?"
"Me? Of course. Before moving away because of university reasons, I lived up here."
"I had no idea…"
That's surprising. While we were talking, the car entered a tunnel and passed through it. Thanks to that, the scenery opened up a bit further. The number of houses grew fewer, and you could see smaller hunts, the distance between each of them growing larger. After passing through another tunnel, my old man said "Once we're past Saku, we'll reach Komoro." The next time we'll see the Hokuriku Bullet Train while driving on the Joshi-Etsu Highway will be at the Saku Interchange past Karuizawa. From there on out, we'll pass through Komoro and Nagano, with my old man's hometown even farther past there.
Then again, just dropping names left and right doesn't make it any clearer. Even I don't remember everything around here, I'm just listening to the explanations my old man is giving Akiko-san along the way. When I looked to my side, I saw that Ayase-san had raised herself up and was gazing at the scenery outside with even greater interest than before.
"Curious about something?" I asked her, and she turned around like she'd forgotten I was even there.
"Erm, not really. Just that over there." She pointed outside the right window, and I turned around to look where she was pointing.
It was on the opposite side of the highway. There stood a single home surrounded by fields that were covered with white makeup. It had a roof made out of tiles, standing out more than anything else amid this scenery.
"That old building?"
"Yeah, it looks pretty old. Isn't that one of those old Japanese-style houses?"
"Yep."
I think you call them that if they've been around for more than 50 years after construction. From the choice of words, it sounds a bit like it's an odd building, but considering these were built in the 1950s and earlier, that's right when the Second World War ended.
"That home just now looks the oldest out of all of them."
The scenery outside the car flew past us incredibly quickly, as there were no scattered and withered trees. Even so, you could see some houses popping up left and right.
"That one's just that much older than the rest, I guess."
"But it had an antenna on top of it."
"It did? I'm surprised you could tell."
"Maybe that just caught her attention first."
My old man caught on to our conversation and joined in.
"Around here, it's nothing but mountains. You don't get any signal or internet. If you want to watch TV, you've gotta rely on cable or satellite."
I nodded.
"It ruins the elegance, though."
"It's a necessary sacrifice if you live here."
"That is true. When I was still young, I had to fight for my internet connection, but now they've pretty much got the same as in the big city."
"Makes sense."
"Do you like this sort of stuff?" I asked Ayase-san, and she nodded.
"Old-fashioned buildings, shrines, temples; I like the stuff that has kept its shape over the passage of time."
"So, like castles?"
"Yep, castles, too. And stone walls."
"Stone walls… Just the stone walls?"
Ayase-san nodded. She seemed oddly delighted at that.
"When looking at older castles, even if the castle itself breaks apart, the stone walls keep standing. Only the stone walls, or the ditches… Maybe even the pillars, too. Any ruins of that."
"And looking at that stuff is fun?"
"It really is. If you look at the way they built the walls and piled up the stones, you can have a good guess as to when it was built. So the people who understand a lot about this context can figure out quite a lot with small hints like that. And when I heard about that, I was engrossed. It's amazing that people can see and understand things that should have disappeared by now."
"I didn't even know there was a difference in the way you'd stack stones to build walls."
"Really? I think we worked through that in our textbooks before… Maybe not? I tend to remember these things from picture collections or videos."
"There are videos?"
"Of course. Just look up 'Castles in Japan' and you'll find a ton. I rarely watch any videos, but these types of videos have always interested me."
"You're quite engrossed with Japanese history, then?"
She nodded once more. That reminds me. In the last two exams, she always had a perfect 100 points when it came to Japanese history. So she's a fan of history in general? That's a bit surprising… but also not really. Ayase-san turned her head back towards the window and mumbled.
"That's why I like these sorts of old buildings. They're brimming with memories and facts about the past. Now that I know there's more around here, I'm really looking forward to this."
Well, it's true that Shibuya doesn't have any old buildings like what she's talking about. As for Nagano… Maybe the Shimazaki Touson Temple? That one's frequently mentioned in our Japanese textbooks. 'By the Ancient Castle at Komoro, White Clouds Grieve The Wanderer,' one of the textbooks said. The black and white scenery outside the window briefly lost all its color, like it had turned into a photo primary with a sepia hue.
The car brought us further and further away from civilization, deeper into the mountains, and the buildings disappeared amongst the snow. We went down from the highway after passing Komoro and Nagano City, deeper into the woods. After drifting up a mountain road that twisted left and right like a snake, we reached a basin. Finally, we spotted a tall bungalow in the distance. There was no parking lot. Instead there was a large open area in front of the building, with the snow shoveled to the side. In one of that area's corners, my old man parked the car.
"We're here."
We all got out of the car. The cold breeze made my body tremble. The area was covered with snow, and without it being shoveled to the side, we'd probably be knee-deep in here. Even the breath coming out of my mouth was white, my cheeks turning red from the cold air.
"This yard is quite big." Ayase-san looked around as she stretched.
"It's not so much of a lawn," My old man answered, "It's just that nothing was built here. Well, they've got plenty of land to use."
"And what an elegant home," Ayase-san said as she looked at the large bungalow in front of her.
"Old things are still old. I was told my grandfather built this."
The building in front of us with its tiled roof was much older than 50 years, which qualified it as one of Ayase-san's beloved Japanese-style houses.
"Amazing…"
"The inside's been kept up. And it's pretty comfy, too. But more importantly, Saki-chan, Akiko-san, let's head inside. We don't have to freeze out here."
"Yes, Taichi-san."
"I'll help carry the luggage, Dad."
"Yeah, let's split up the weight."
My old man and I took care of the heavy luggage. He led the way as we headed for the entrance. Next to him was Akiko-san with a stiff expression, with Ayase-san and I behind them. We had left our house so early, but the sun had already started moving towards the West. As she let out white breath over and over, she gazed at the bungalow ahead of us.
—I enjoy looking at older buildings. They've brimming with memories and facts about the past.
Just what is she seeing in that house right now?
"I'm home." My old man shouted as he opened the front door.
Every time I hear this word, it makes me realize that this truly is the place he was born.
"Yeees," a voice came back from deep inside, followed by the sounds of footsteps approaching us.
The person who appeared was my father's mother, meaning she was my grandmother.
"Welcome back, Taichi. Kanae and the others have just gotten here," She said and flashed a peaceful smile.
Her back had still yet to start to stoop, and her voice was brimming with energy. She really never changes. And what a relief that was. My old man nodded and Akiko-san bowed politely.
"Thanks for having me, Mother-in-law."
"Yes, yes, I haven't seen you in a while, Akiko-san."
Grandmother seemed a bit relieved at seeing Akiko-san practically frozen stiff. Following that, Akiko-san wrapped her arm around Ayase-san's back.
"And this… is my daughter Saki."
"Nice to meet you, I'm Saki."
Ayase-san took a step forward and bowed politely as her mother had. Since our parents had met my old man's grandparents during a weekday, both Ayase-san and I were at school and didn't participate. So this is likely their first meeting.
"Yes, welcome, welcome. I've been waiting to meet you, Saki-chan."
"It's my pleasure."
"Wonderful. Make yourself feel at home, okay? But for now, come on in. Everyone's in the living room, so I'll go prepare some tea now."
"Ah, let me help you," Akiko-san spoke up.
Grandmother showed a perplexed expression for a moment, but then responded with a flat "Sure."
"That being said, I'll show you to your rooms first."
"Yes."
We took off our shoes at the front entrance and followed my grandmother through the entrance hallway. Well, I've been here plenty of times, so I don't need any guidance. However, Ayase-san raised a quiet voice right as we went inside.
"It's a hard-packed floor…" She seemed oddly impressed.
I was a bit confused at her statement, but quickly realized she was talking about the floor we were standing on. I mean, I bet she's seen it before, but maybe this is her first time actually experiencing it? Classic Japanese residences usually have a bit of space between their floor and the ground in order to let wind pass through underneath. Since Japan is known for its humidity, it'd immediately ruin any wooden-built buildings without this air gap. That's why there's a difference in height when you enter a hallway. The entrance is usually on ground level compared to the rest of the building. That's where you take off your shoes and step up, or more accurately step in. The part where the entrance is the same level as the ground is what you call doma, and if the doma is made out of stiff mortar, then you have a tataki, which is what Ayase-san was talking about.
But of course, Ayase-san should be more knowledgeable about this sort of thing than I. I can't forget that she scored a perfect 100 points in Japanese history during our last exams. Even as we walked down the hallway, Ayase-san inspected various areas of the building. The initial hallway we walked through immediately split up into two paths, going left and right. If we went left, we'd get to the kitchen. However, grandmother didn't take that route and went right instead. As we followed her, the hallway changed into an engawa, the traditional external corridor going alongside a garden. The storm shutters to our right were all inside specifically-built boxes, directly blocking off the garden. At first glance, it may look like an open veranda, but if you close the storm shutters, it becomes a regular hallway again. Meanwhile, the sun shone brightly and illuminated the hallway from its western position in the sky.
"So spacious…" Ayase-san's murmur reached my ears.
The left side was blocked off by typical sliding screens, but there were at least three rooms next to the engawa. The living area was the room in the center. The one in front was my grandparents' sleeping area, and the one in the back belongs to my old man's older brother and his wife. My old man's name may be written with the kanji for older brother, but he's actually the second-oldest son.
It's also not visible from here, but further in the back (or north) harbors three more rooms, which will be the guest rooms for these next few days.
"Wahaha!"
We heard laughter coming from deeper within the room.
"My, my, they're awfully lively today." Grandmother made a bitter smile and opened the sliding screen.
We were greeted by a large Japanese-themed room. The majority of the Asamura Family had gathered already. Starting with my grandfather and his eldest son (who is my father's brother and my uncle), a few other adults were sitting around the table, which made the tatami room seem much smaller. The low table—about the height of two tea tables—was filled with drinks and snacks.
"Taichi has arrived."
"Oh! Finally! Must have taken you a long drive from Tokyo." An elderly man stood up with a loud voice.
He's my grandfather. His hair has already turned snow-white, his forehead is blank, but his voice has the same energy as it did years ago.
"It's been a while, Akiko-san. Are you doing well?"
"Yes. It's nice to see you again, Father-in-law." Akiko-san bowed her head, which focused all the attention in the room on her.
Whoa, look at this pressure. The only two people in this room who have met Akiko-san before are my grandparents. My uncle, his wife, their son, my aunt, her husband, and their two children were all meeting Akiko-san for the first time. It was practically 7 vs 1… Wait, there's one more person. A woman in the center of the room. I don't know her.
"Yes, yes. Let's leave the introductions for later. I'm sure they must be tired, so I'll show them to their rooms."
"R-Right."
My grandmother read the room and broke up the atmosphere. I was a bit curious about the unfamiliar woman, but we just exchanged brief greetings and then left after grandmother. Walking down the hallway, we were brought to the room the furthest in the back.
"Please use this room this year. I've already prepared futons and everything."
"Thanks, Mom," My old man said.
The guest room was as Japanese as you'd expect, about thirteen square meters in size, with four futons stacked atop each other in the corner of the room. The scent of tatami material was especially strong. It's probably because this place isn't usually used. And this is where we'll be spending the next two days, huh?
…Hold on a second. Here? All four of us? When I realized this, my heart started beating faster. This means… Ayase-san and I will be sleeping in the same room?
"I'm sorry we couldn't find more rooms for your children this year, the thing is—"
Right as grandma started trying to explain things, we heard a voice from beyond the sliding screen, coming from my cousin Kousuke-san. My old man answered him, and the sliding screen moved to the side. As expected, he's my cousin, currently eight years older than me. He graduated from university two years ago, and he's working now. And a woman was with him. The same woman I had just seen in the large hall. She's probably the same age as him, seeming like a polite and collected person.
"Hm? What's up, Kousuke-kun?"
"Ah, well, there's someone I'd like to introduce to you…" He said and stepped aside for the woman to take a step forward. She lowered her head.
She had semi-long hair that fluttered as she did this, and she introduced herself as Nagisa. After that, Kousuke-san said "We've gotten married" with a bashful expression.
"Oh, really?! Congratulations, Kousuke-kun!" My old man grinned as he congratulated Kousuke-san.
Personally, I was absolutely shocked. Until last year, he didn't even mention having a girlfriend. Apparently, Nagisa-san is a year younger than Kousuke-san, and they were members of the same circle at university. Basically, they've been dating for several years… No, this isn't weird. He's eight years older than me, and he graduated from university two years ago. I guess he wouldn't tell his cousin who is 8 years younger than him about his love life. My old man called Akiko-san and Ayase-san over and introduced them. Kousuke-san glanced at Ayase-san and then back at me.
"So, you've got a younger sister now, Yuuta?"
"Ah, yes."
"Oh, huh. I thought you'd gotten married, too."
I knew he was joking, but for a split second, the inside of my head went blank. Ayase-san and I…? Married…?
"There's no way I did. I'm still in high school."
I really tried my best to not show my confusion in my voice. Still, what is he saying? And in front of our parents, no less. But this is the kind of person he is, so I can't say I'm surprised.
"I was just joking, you know?"
"I know, I know."
…But still, Kousuke-san got married? It felt like my cousin had suddenly grown up to become an actual adult.
"I didn't even know you were part of any circle, Kousuke-san."
I pushed the luggage into the corner of the room as I spoke to Kousuke-san. My old man took Akiko-san into the hall in order to formally introduce her to the rest of our relatives, leaving just me, Ayase-san, Nagisa-san, and Kousuke-san in the room.
"I wasn't too passionate about it, so I never mentioned it."
"But he was the best at skiing."
Kousuke-san seemed to remain modest but Nagisa-san threw in a follow-up. Even though they had just gotten married, they were already in perfect sync. Maybe that's why they got married so quickly.
"Skiing?"
"Yeah, it was like a ski gathering of sorts. Well, it's not a big skiing event or anything, and compared to the other folks here, I'm beginner level."
"Can all people from Nagano ski?" Ayase-san joined in on the conversation.
What a rare occurrence. Normally she didn't participate in other people's conversations.
"Well, we're better off than regions with less snow, for sure."
"And that's where you met Nagisa-san?" I asked, to which both of them suddenly looked all bashful, fumbling over their own words.
Seeing a cousin who's eight years older than I am acting like that made even me embarrassed.
"Well, about that…"
"Right?"
Something's going on between the two of them. After exchanging a few glances, they were willing to explain how they got together.
"I was just thinking I wanted to try out skiing, see. A friend of mine who knew that Kou-chan could ski set me up for a meeting."
"And I had no idea, I was just dragged to the cafeteria."
"So, they introduced me to Kou-chan, saying stuff like 'He's really good at it, so why not have him teach you?'—"
"And before I knew it, I was training her."
"Did you now…?" Nagisa-san smiled, but her eyes made it clear that this wasn't how things really played out.
"And what was he like, then?"
"My friend tried everything to get him to help me, but he was all sour about it. Saying 'There's plenty of people who are as good as me' or 'As long as you keep a good center of gravity, skiing down the mountain is easy', and so on." Nagisa-san explained.
"I see."
"So he was playing hard to get, then."
"Again, I'm sorry…"
"It made me feel like you hated me, even though we'd barely met."
"If you'd just been honest and said you wanted to teach me, then I would have—"
"So you would've taught any girl as long as she asked you to?"
"Ack, ugh… That's not what I meant…"
Nagisa-san snickered to herself. Kousuke-san tried to clean his slate.
"I'm just not used to being praised excessively…"
"You should be more confident in yourself, Kou-chan. Plus, that's what made me interested in you in the first place."
"Huh? Really?"
I didn't expect that, so I let out a shocked voice.
"Yes. I liked how he didn't put himself up on a pedestal like he was some kind of being greater than the universe. It made me realize how genuine and honest of a person he is."
"Erm… thanks."
"Hee, hee."
They're absolutely head over heels, I see. Still, if they've been dating since their second year in university, then they've been dating for almost six years now. It sounds like quite a long time, but they still act like a couple that just got together. Because I've been watching my old man and Akiko-san flirt right in front of me for the past year, I thought I'd gotten enough maple syrup and cream poured over me to finally became used to it, but seeing it from my cousin of all people, who never showed any interest in romance, completely threw me off.
"I get it…"
I heard a faint whisper that barely reached my ear. Looking to my side, I saw Ayase-san leaning forward, listening to their story with awe and excitement. I had no idea what exactly she meant by that, but once she noticed I was staring at her, she immediately turned her head away.
"But your decision to get married came out of nowhere, right?" I asked, looking back at Kousuke-san.
Not even my old man knew about it, but wouldn't at least our grandparents know when the papers started coming in?
"We haven't had the ceremony yet," Kousuke-san responded.
Apparently, it'll happen in half a year. Basically, they added their names to the family register, just like my old man and Akiko-san did.
"Do you not plan on holding a ceremony?"
"Not exactly. I want to have one. The thing is just… I would have preferred to propose a bit later than this."
"Huh…?"
For a split second, my gaze moved towards Nagisa-san. Wouldn't a woman be a bit annoyed if her soon-to-be husband said such a thing? However, she didn't seem too bothered by it.
"It's just—and Dad and the others don't know about it either—but I'm going to be transferred overseas."
"Overseas?!"
"Yeah. For two whole years."
"When?"
"This spring."
"That's right around the corner!"
"That's why we can't really have a ceremony right now. Getting everything ready takes a lot of planning and all that."
"We can't even find a place, either… Although we did try."
"The way things stand right now, it'd have to happen after next summer."
"I… see…"
Since I had never even thought about all of that, I couldn't comment much. I can't even imagine that.
"Yes. I mean, if you really had to, you might be able to find a place, but considering how many relatives you have, Kousuke-san, it'd probably be hard to get them together on the right day, let alone at the perfect place."
"And of course, anywhere that'd work really well like that is already fully packed. Plus, there are also Nagisa's preferences to take into account. We guys don't care much for traditional or Western and all that, but women want to be clear about their dress or traditional robe."
"Can you not make me sound selfish?"
"Sorry, I didn't mean it that way. But once I head over there, I can't guarantee that everything will be done in two years."
"I don't wanna wait."
Nagisa-san seemed like a patient type, but she could voice her emotions when she needed to. That's what makes her such a good match for Kousuke-san. He's not too good at reading other people's thoughts, after all.
"That's why we at least decided to put our names into the family register. She wants to come with me, after all. Luckily, my company is fine with us moving together."
"So you'll both be moving overseas… When did you hand in the form?"
"The 24th."
"Huh…? Wait, this month?"
"Yep."
Well, I guess it makes sense that nobody would know.
"We've been living together for the past half year, so that day is when we technically made it official by handing in the form. Plus, it makes it easier to remember our anniversary."
"I'm sure you'll manage to forget it even then, Kou-chan. If I don't remind you, you'll completely forget my birthday."
"No way, no way."
"Reaaally?"
"Come on, have some faith in me."
These two really are close, huh?
"Anyway, Yuuta. I think we should head back now."
"Good point, then Ayase-san and I will also—"
'Go with you'—is what I wanted to say when I heard small footsteps approaching. After that, the sliding screen swung open as two children came in cheering "Yuu-chan, let's play!" They then immediately leaped at me.
"Yuu-chan, Yuu-chan! Let's play!"
"Let's play!"
Everything got really noisy really quickly.
"Oh, Takumi! Mika! It's been a while," I said and picked up the two grade school children.
I had just seen them last year, but they really grew up a lot. The older boy was Takumi and the younger girl was named Mika. They're both the children of my old man's younger sister, so they're my cousins. Also, Takumi's two years older than Mika.
"Hey, hey, Yuu-chan! Look! I got a monster!"
"Got a monster!"
"That's not true! You got a ring, Mika! I got the monster!" Takumi held the plush monster as high into the air as he could.
Mika saw what her brother was doing and also held her toy ring high in the air. Of course, we weren't talking about a genuine ring you'd buy as an adult or anything like that. It was a plastic one about the size of a small ball. The part where you'd put a jewel or gem had a magic circle drawn on it. It might be some kind of merch from an anime or something. I bet Maru would know.
"Then this is a ring monster!"
"No way! Oh, whatever! Hey, Yuu-chan, let's play!"
"Let's play!"
"Calm down, calm down."
Children really do whatever their brain tells them to.
"Hey, who's this beautiful lady?" Mika asked while clinging to me.
"That's Ayase-san," I answered, and then I realized something.
They don't understand what this means. She's keeping her family name for convenience in our daily lives and at school, but our relatives were introduced to her as Asamura Saki. Here in my old man's hometown, they're still relatively old-fashioned. Namely, the family names are taken over by one party. And if I call her "Ayase," wouldn't it sound like I'm rejecting her as a family? If so, maybe I should introduce her as "My younger sister Saki"…? Or simply "Saki-chan" could also…? No, I can't. That's not possible for me.
Mika for her part turned around, pointing at Kousuke-san and Nagisa-san.
"Ko-chan, Na-chan!"
"Yes, yes. But, you shouldn't point at people, okay?" Kousuke-san said as he rubbed Mika's head.
"Okay!" She said and then looked at me.
"Yuu-chan!"
"Ah, yeah. Hello."
"And, um… Aya…A-chan!"
"Huh? Ah, yes?" Ayase-san seemed bewildered, responding with a questioning tone of voice.
In response, Mika tilted her head in confusion, like she was wondering if she had made a mistake. Which she did. Ayase isn't her last name, but her first name. However, even if I introduced her as Ayase Saki or Asamura Saki, it would only confuse her more. Plus, A-chan should work out just as fine. A bit of an emergency solution, but nothing should be weird even if she continued to call her that.
"Hey, hey, Yuu-chan!"
"Hm?"
"Is A-chan your friend?"
"No, she's my little sister. Though we only became a family recently."
Mika once again tilted her head in confusion. I guess she's still a bit confused.
"Mika, remember what your mother said? Uncle Taichi got married again."
"And you get a little sister when you do that?"
I flashed a bitter smile. How could I explain it so that she understands it? I thought about it, but there's no real explanation that might get through. I instead opted to change the subject. I think that, when I was their age, I also played with Kousuke-san the same way. Because when I was Takumi's age, my mother wouldn't give me much attention anymore. It was only two days over New Year's, but playing with Kousuke-san was a small salvation for me.
"So, you two. What should we play?"
""A game!""
They both spoke at the same time.
"A game, huh?"
The game they were referring to isn't some regular card or board game you'd see during family gatherings, but genuine console games. As expected of the digital age we live in.
"I'll go borrow it from Mom!" Takumi said and stormed out of the room.
Mika frantically chased after her older brother, and she would have tripped while doing so if I didn't catch her in time. Instead, we opted to head back to the hall together. Takumi told his mother that he wanted to play the game, probably on a phone or a handheld console. We took the console and made our way to a room with a TV. I could understand that all the difficult talk from their parents and relatives would be too boring for little children like them. I always felt the same way. Kousuke-san helped me set it up, and since we had four controllers, four people could play at the same time.
"Yuuta, can you take care of the small ones?" Kousuke-san asked me, and I nodded.
With that, he and Nagisa-san returned to the hall where everyone else was sitting. They might want to talk about the marriage if I had to guess. After they left, they quietly closed the sliding screens, leaving Ayase-san, the two kids, and I in the room.
"Let's play, Yuu-chan!"
"Sure. What should we play?"
I booted up the console, looking for games. I specifically looked for a co-op game that the four of us could play and spotted a fitting title.
"This should be fine… Are you two okay with that?"
As expected, the both nodded along energetically. I personally wasn't too familiar with that game itself, but I had played it once since Maru recommended it to me.
"You too, Ayase-san. Join us."
"Huh? But, I don't know this game."
"It's simple. Plus, it's co-op. We're all playing together."
If they hadn't brought in their own game console, I would have used my tablet instead. But this allows us to play together on the big screen, which I'm a big fan of. Meanwhile, the game booted up. We could see four small cooks on the screen. We have to control them and prepare meals for the customers. Of course, it's not that simple. There are time limits for the orders, and the kitchen layout keeps changing. However, if we all work together, we can easily clear each level. It's basically an action-based puzzle game.
Sitting in front of the screen, the four of us began playing. Immediately after, the four miniature cooks appeared and responded to the movement of our controllers. We started cutting the vegetables and putting the meat into the frying pan. Orders came flying, and so were the plates and ingredients. All we could hear were the complaints from the customers that their orders were late. As you'd expect from the two kids, they were used to playing and effortlessly worked through the orders as they gave each other comments. Ayase-san and I could barely even keep up with them, in fact.
"A-chan! A-chan!" Mika called Ayase-san.
It seems like both Takumi and Mika have gone with 'A-chan' now.
"Wh-What?"
"Your meat is gonna burn!"
"Huh?"
Ayase-san rushed to the frying pan, but the meat was going up in flames before she could do anything.
"Ahhhhh!"
Following that, the ingredients caught fire, and so did the entire kitchen. For a moment, I admired Ayase-san's panicked voice because I never got to hear it, but I didn't have much time to admire it. Ayase-san had completely started to get flustered and couldn't keep up with everything that was going wrong.
"Calm down, Ayase-san!"
"What do I—?"
You can put out the fire with a fire extinguisher. Well, the food is ruined either way. However, we ran out of time and thus failed the stage.
"I'm sorry."
"A-chan, are you bad at cooking?"
"Hey, now, Mika. Ayase-san is a great cook. This is just because it's a game. But we can clear it next time. Right, Ayase-san?"
"You don't have to protect my pride like that. That just hurts even more."
"Huh?!"
I didn't mean for that to—
"I mean, it's true that your cooking is delicious."
"But the meat caught on fire, and so did the kitchen."
"That's just because this is a game. This sort of stuff happens."
"I won't lose next time."
"You've just gotta get used to it, and you'll pass me by in no time."
"So frustrating."
I've never seen Ayase-san this worked up. Well, I know she hates losing.
"A-chan, A-chan!" Mika tugged on Ayase-san's sleeve. "Mom said that siblings should get along!" She said and turned towards Takumi. "Right, Onii-chan?"
Takumi nodded.
"Do you hate Yuu-chan?"
"O-Of course not…"
"Then you should try and get along. Should we teach you how to do it?"
"Um…please do?"
Why'd she turn that into a question? It's weird to see. Ayase-san can easily stand her ground against an assistant professor's argument about philosophy and psychology, but she has no way of winning against small children. Meanwhile, I'm used to dealing with Takumi and Mika, and I faintly remember the way I was treated when I was their age. However, the way I see things, Ayase-san rarely meets her relatives. The difference in experience really shows here. And I knew that Takumi and Mika have always been pretty close.
"Onii-chan, let's make up!" Mika grabbed Takumi's arm.
"Yes, yes. Mika, I'm sorry."
"I forgiverive you."
"Yes. Now let's get along."
They both said and then pushed their cheeks together, hugging the other person. For a second, all sense of reality was erased from my mind. It felt like I was watching a foreign movie. Because they were both pretty cute, it felt like I was witnessing a scene from a religious movie where two angels appeared. After that, the two angels snickered. Aunt Kanae-san's husband actually has non-Japanese grandparents, which gave the two children an extra boost of an angelic atmosphere. But, then it happened—As we watched over this heartwarming scene, Mika suddenly kissed Takumi on the cheek.
"And, done."
"Now it's your turn, Onii-chan and A-chan!"
We were both pushed closer to each other, as Ayase-san and I froze up. Huh? This is how you make up? The two angels with their cheeks still rubbed against each other looked at us with a gaze of "Not gonna do it?" But, no matter how close you may be as siblings, you won't just kiss the other like that, right? I don't think so, at least.
"Are you not going to make up?"
"Um, no, we're already getting along just fine."
"Yeah…"
"Ayase-san?"
Something was off about her.
"Children! The food is ready!"
We heard a voice from the hallway, pulling us back to reality. I sighed and put my hands on the tatami mat behind me. One of them slipped and I panicked for a moment. By the time Ayase-san and I had taken distance from each other, the two kids had already dashed out of the room screaming "Food!"
"I guess we should go, too?"
"Yeah."
It felt like we both had just woken up from a dream as we slowly walked down the hallway. My heart kept beating painfully loud, making me wish it'd at least calm down before we made it back to everyone else.
Our relatives had all gathered already in the large room that they were using as a banquet hall. I think the room was about 25 square meters in size, and three low tables were pushed together in the center of the room. On top of them was the food, which looked like it would be sukiyaki today, since three gas cookers were placed on the tables. On top of them stood the iron pots, with the soup stock already boiling inside. When it comes to sukiyaki, vegetables are one of the most basic ingredients. Lotus root, gobo, shiitake mushrooms, field mushrooms, winter mushrooms, onions, crown daisies… with chicken being the main meat. I think most people are used to beef, but here in the Asamura Family, we usually go with chicken.
Why? I don't know. Maybe it's because of the cheaper price, maybe it's a simple tradition, only God knows. That being said, I like chicken so I don't mind. Besides that, they also prepared traditional food for the holidays. And in keeping with a more traditional approach, all of it was handmade. Rolled omelet with fish paste, mashed sweet potatoes with sweetened chestnuts, black soybeans, herring roe, steamed seasoned fish paste, kelp… Looking at it from a broader angle, it was all typically Japanese and mostly brown in color, but the crimson and white from the fish paste, the red from the shrimp, and the yellow-ish color from the rolled omelet fish paste and mashed potatoes created a brighter color spectrum.
Out of all the traditional food, I liked the rolled omelet with fish paste the most. I remember I used to get scolded all the time because that's basically all I ate. But when you have the taste of a child's palate, that's about the only thing that really tastes good. Maybe it was only after I grew up and entered high school that I started to enjoy grilled fish, herring roe, and all sorts of other things like black soybeans. Plus, the environment can have a huge impact on your tastes and how they develop.
As expected, all our relatives were already seated around the table. They had opened up their beer cans and were talking with each other, our parents with them. Once Ayase-san and I arrived, my grandmother and Akiko-san brought the drinks for us minors and bottles of water and tea. After all of us had seated at the table, we clapped our hands together.
My grandparents and their oldest son (My old man's older brother) with his family (which includes Kousuke-san as his son) are living here in this house. My old man lives down in Tokyo, and his sister and her family live down in Chiba. With all of us gathered together here, we're… 14 people, Ayase-san and I included. To me, this scenery wasn't anything out of the ordinary, but Ayase-san's expression made it clear that she was a bit taken aback.
We clinked our glasses together and began munching away at the food, and my old man once again introduced Akiko-san and Ayase-san to our relatives. Akiko-san had already finished her initial introduction before, but since Ayase-san had only mentioned her name before, she was now asked about her age, how she was doing at school and all sorts of things. I feel like if we were in Tokyo right now, our relatives wouldn't ask much more than her name, but the traditions here still are fairly old-fashioned. After a while, my grandmother threw Ayase-san a lifeline with "Come on, that's enough," and Ayase-san was finally allowed to sit back down. She seemed relieved.
Taking her place was Kousuke-san, who introduced Nagisa-san, and our relatives began questioning her. Meanwhile, I turned to Ayase-san, mumbling a quiet "Well done" to her, and pouring some tea into her cup.
"Thank you."
"Wanna try some of the food? I'll grab it for you."
"Then… I'd like some rolled omelet with fish paste. I like it quite a lot… Um, did I say anything weird? Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Not at all, not at all. I just like it myself."
I grabbed some of the rolled omelets and placed them on a small plate close to me. Ayase-san accepted this and carried some to her mouth.
"So this is the taste Stepdad grew up with. I see, that's why Mom…"
I don't quite understand what made Ayase-san so satisfied, but I didn't want to be obstinate and question her either. After that, we just continued to eat in silence while listening to the conversations of our relatives here and there. Kousuke-san went to university in Saitama, but after his graduation, he returned to Nagano. Basically, he ended up in a long-distance relationship with Nagisa-san. He came to visit every weekend in his car, until he eventually got himself such a cute wife—according to his own words. That's one conversation I heard.
"I was feeling worried since we wouldn't be able to see each other anymore. Well, the internet and modern technology allow me to see his face every day." Nagisa-san said and Kousuke-san nodded along.
That's why they decided to hand in their marriage registration before moving overseas. Hearing about this predicament, I thought about what I would do in that situation. What if I wouldn't be able to meet Ayase-san anymore…
"Well, Kousuke gets lonely easily. He never wanted to be left alone at home, and was always following us." Uncle Kouta said, which made Kousuke-san act embarrassed.
But even so, his embarrassing past continued to be revealed by his father. Literally everything, from good to bad, admirable to embarrassing. Kousuke-san resigned himself to his fate with a wry smile, but Nagisa-san listened with great interest. Listening further, Nagisa-san mentioned that she had been living with Kousuke-san in his house since last summer when his transfer overseas was decided, but she herself had no idea how to handle her own job. And if she found a job, what would she do about it once she left with Kousuke-san, and so on? Though that's their personal problem, and normally I wouldn't give it much thought, I started listening in rapt attention like it was about myself. I was surprised at my own subconscious behavior.
A realistic relationship between a man and a woman is different from the ones depicted in movies or books. Fiction is always sparkling and something to aspire to, making it easy and so that everything will always work out. However, the world we live in is painfully realistic. You won't encounter a dramatic roadblock that gets in the way of your love, and all the problems coming your way are nothing more than chores to overcome.
Getting the procedure done at the local government office, telling the people around you and meeting with relatives that know the other person's past and get curious about your own. Having your grandparents tell you that they want to have grandchildren soon. As the average age of married couples continues to increase, a lot of them decide to not have children, but that's a bit more of a sensitive topic, I think. And as expected, Nagisa-san is just smiling and letting our relatives talk and talk.
"So mature…" Ayase-san mumbled, and I looked over at her. Ayase-san was bad at just smiling and waving.
Meanwhile, Akiko-san was pouring her grandparents another drink as they talked. She continued the conversation with a smile, going into full bartender mode. No matter how she may feel on the inside, she's showing absolutely no hint of an issue on the outside. She's acting the same way as my biological mother did. Each year, she faked it until she made it.
In the few years after their divorce, whenever the family got together for New Year's, my old man was always on the receiving end of the interrogation. He kept on being questioned about why he ended the relationship, but he never blamed my mother, just saying that a lot happened. If Ayase-san and I were to get married, how would the people here react? Would we be able to even keep proper communication going?
Time passed, and night arrived. We remained seated in the large hall, eating New Year's soba, and talking about all of the events from the past year. Mid-way, Takumi and Mika fell asleep, so I helped Kousuke-san put them to bed, but other than that, I was just listening to our relatives talking. In the meantime, Ayase-san sat still like she didn't quite fit in.
"Should we head out now?" My grandfather stood up, everyone following after him.
Ayase-san also stood up but seemed a bit bewildered. "Um…head out where?" She whispered in my ear.
"To visit the shrine and stay there until midnight. We're going there by car, but since it's pretty cold, you should make sure to dress up warmly. Also, I'd recommend you take a bath after we get home, too."
"We're going right now?"
"Yeah, so we're in time for when the clock turns over."
Ayase-san's eyes grew droopy as if the sleepiness had already started getting to her.
"I mean, you can also just stay here and sleep if you're tired. Which would you prefer?"
"…I'm going."
This tradition is something that's relatively common. You make your way to a shrine before the clock strikes midnight, and welcome the new year with your relatives. After changing into warm clothes, we left the residence. Luckily it wasn't snowing, but we were still deep into the mountains of Nagano. The temperature was getting closer and closer to what would be considered freezing. The moment we opened the front door, a cold breeze hit us, which made my body tremble. The cold was creeping up from my legs up to my head.
My old man hopped into the car, and until the car's heat really started up, that was probably the coldest for me, as I still had my coat on my lap. After that, the entire Asamura Family headed for the shrine in their three cars. The first taste of the New Year's bells came from the car's radio.
We arrived at the shrine and my old man parked the car. After getting out, I put on the coat, making sure I buttoned it up to not freeze immediately. I haven't forgotten Ayase-san's neck warmer either, so I was fully prepared. Meanwhile, Ayase-san had put on her gloves, and even her cap, snuggling up into her duffle coat that should keep her plenty warm. The mustard-yellow amidst the cold and white night suited her quite well. After that, Akiko-san approached us and handed us pocket warmers.
"Put these in your pockets, okay?"
We gratefully accepted them and did as we were told. As expected of Akiko-san, she's perfectly prepared. As with the front of the Asamura residence, the snow was shoveled to the side here, too, and created a large wall. With this much snow, visiting a shrine like this wouldn't normally be possible. That thought always made me thankful to the poor souls who do the snow shoveling each year.
"This is pretty deep into the mountains," Ayase-san said.
"Well, yeah. It is a rear shrine, after all."
"A rear shrine?"
"When you go up this path, there are actually several shrines. You know the mythical story of the Ama-no-Iwato, right? The gods related to that are resting here."
"Ah, yeah. Of course I do. When Amaterasu was angry with the gods and hid in the cave of Ama-no-Iwato, the other gods started a banquet to draw her out again, right?"
"Y-Yeah, that." I gave a bewildered comment at Ayase-san's added explanation and talked about how we'd always go to the rear shrine every single year. "By the way, we'll be walking for around two kilometers now."
"Huh?"
"And we've got some long stairs on the way, so you should be prepared for some heavy muscle pain tomorrow."
"I was never told about this." She glared up at me.
"You could wait in the car where it's warm, you know? What's it gonna be?"
"…I'm definitely going. I don't wanna wait here all by myself."
"Well, let me know if it gets too much. Next time, you can wait in the house," I said in the heat of the moment and Ayase-san looked at me in shock.
"Next time?"
"I mean, this is a yearly tradition, so…"
"Ah, next year. Got it. You've gone through this many times already, after all. Okay, I'll let you know if it gets too much."
"That'd be great."
Even this might be another small type of an adjustment. But that was just a brief thought that filled my mind.
Akiko-san fell in line next to my old man who started walking ahead, with Ayase-san and I right behind him. Once we reached the large torii shrine archway, Ayase-san took out her smartphone. She booted up her camera app and took a picture. The resulting flash from the camera momentarily lit up the darkness around us, revealing the wooden archway much better, as well as the endless sea of snow right behind it. Needless to say, she was careful not to blind the other shrine visitors.
"Hey folks, don't get left behind, okay?" My old man called out to us, so Ayase-san and I sped up a bit to catch up.
It was really hard work making sure we wouldn't slide back down. We passed by the corner of the shrine archway, as the center of the path was the passage for the gods. The shrine pathway ahead of us stretched so far into the distance that we couldn't see the end of it. Although they did their best to keep it free from snow, the white mixture beneath our feet mixed with the white beauty and salt, so any careless movement would cause us to land on our faces.
Ayase-san naturally wasn't used to this environment, so she almost slipped a few times. I took it upon me to teach her a few tricks to make it through this mess a bit better. The idea is to use the back of your sole to stomp on the ground first to get a better grip. After we made it past the next shrine archway, we were able to walk on even ground for a while. After another 15-minute walk, we finally reached another waypoint.
We saw a reddish gate in the distance, which was the midpoint. The large gate had a thatched roof attached to it, which would have green grass growing on it if it weren't winter. Right now, it was covered by white makeup like the rest of the world around us. The red gate with its shimenawa rope hanging down on its sides stood tall and imposing like it would not allow the entry of any misfortune. As I expected, Ayase-san took out her phone and took another picture. She really loves these older buildings, huh? I looked ahead and at the gate in front of us.
"When it's this old, you can really feel the history it's gone through."
"Hm, I don't think it's just that."
"Huh?"
"I don't think that's the only reason you can feel the history. Maybe it's because we're actually observing the way the buildings have been treated?"
"The way they've been treated?"
"Let's say you found an old tumbling doll, a daruma, without its eyes. That's because nobody offered its wish to it—that nobody used it. So you would feel sadness seeing an old and forgotten daruma without its eyes."
"I see, I see."
"Plus, wooden buildings and structures unprotected from wind and rainy weather need to be attended to by people, or they will rot away and disappear. You see buildings breaking down and collapsing in places where no one lives anymore, right?" Her words reminded me of what she told me when we drove to Nagano earlier today.
They're brimming with memories and facts about the past. And that's probably what Ayase-san meant. Even the rustic and countrified red gate in front of us isn't just a sign of the times, the fact that it's still standing here means that it has been taken care of over the years.
"Exactly."
And that is what Ayase-san referred to as the 'Old memories.'
"Are you doing some criminal profiling, Ayase-san?"
"Pro… what now?"
"It sometimes pops up in detective genres. They call it criminal profiling. They statistically analyze the crime and the person who committed it."
"How is that different from a regular investigation?"
"They don't identify the criminal. Instead, they statistically establish that people who commit crime X have portrait Y, and that's all they can work with. Because there are exceptions in every field. The murder may have been the same, but the motive could be entirely different from the previous case. Or rather, because they assume that the motive is different. That's why the whole 'Who done it' genre exists."
"…You really love mystery stories, Asamura-kun."
"I'm not too familiar with them myself, but—"
At work, we've got someone who's absolutely into mystery stuff. The silhouette of a charming Japanese beauty with long black hair flashed up in the back of my head.
"…Well, it's basically knowledge I read about in a book. Just like how you're interested in how an old building ended up in its current state, yeah?"
"I… think so."
"Like 'My Grandfather's Clock,' then."
'My Grandfather's Clock' is a song about a clock that moves every single day, from the day the grandfather was born until the day he died. The inspiration for that song was an actual clock, too. The current appearance of things that were once created, once given to you by someone still holds the traces of how they had been treated from the moment they were brought into this world. The clock coming to a halt symbolizes the life of the grandfather.
"Don't sing that." Ayase-san immediately warned me.
"Hm?"
"Don't."
"Do you not like it?"
"I'm gonna cry."
Amidst the reigning darkness, even with the faint candles lighting the way, I could barely make out Ayase-san's expression. But even so, her different attitude from her usual dry behavior is what was making me stare at her face.
"Ah… Got it."
We walked up the stairs, past the stone guardian lion-dogs, entering deeper into the shrine. The water at the washbasin was frozen, not allowing us to wash our hands. Moving up to the front shrine, we put the 5-yen coin we prepared into the offering box and rang the bell. A dry clanking sound rang through the air. We then bowed two times and clapped our hands together in prayer another two times. Excluding the idea of keeping your wishes secret, this was standard procedure at every shrine. When we clapped our hands together again, I felt the entire past year play in my head. It's like my thoughts were being organized.
The idea of the first shrine visit of the year had begun back in the Heian period, called a toshigomori, and when you combined it with the idea of the ninenmairi, basically what we are doing right now, the intention is to reflect on the past year while also welcoming a new year. Or that's what just went through my mind.
A lot has happened this year. My father got remarried, and Ayase-san came to join our family with her mother. This happened barely six months ago. I suddenly found myself with a younger step-sister who was the same age as me. And seeing how she was the exact opposite of me, I was truly bewildered. I ended up helping her for the exams when she struggled with modern literature, and we both ended up going to the pool with our classmates from school last summer break. That's also when I realized that I like Ayase-san.
And what an oppressive realization that was. Since our parents had suffered greatly in their past relationship, we didn't want them to suffer like that again, so we worked together to allow our parents the happiness they deserved, and acted like what was expected from us, namely to be perfectly normal siblings. Through many back and forths, we became honest with our feelings for each other. That's when we promised to start dating while acting like "Normal but relatively close siblings" in front of our parents. However, on the night of Halloween, we happened to share a kiss—
All of these memories ran through my head like revolving lanterns. I pulled my hands away and slowly opened my eyes. Since a line of other people were waiting behind us, I didn't have time to get particularly emotional. After another bow, we moved away from the offerings box. While walking to where our parents were waiting, I turned towards Ayase-san.
"What did you wish for?"
"I was too busy remembering everything that happened this year, I didn't have any time to wish for anything," she said with a bitter smile.
Realizing that she was the same as me, I let out a snicker. We walked the same way back and reached the parking lot, where Ayase-san turned back to look at me.
"Ah, we didn't draw any fortune slips, huh?"
"Oh yeah, I'd rather not miss out on that. We usually do that every year."
My old man heard us talking.
"Then let's do that before we get home."
We hopped in the car and headed to the central shrine. Since the original location for the fortune slips was closed due to the winter season, we had to drive all the way there. And when Ayase-san opened her slip—
"Terrible fortune…"
"They put these in here even during New Year's…?"
"What about you, Asamura-kun?"
"Small fortune."
She glared at me yet again. Hey now, this isn't my fault, right? I mean, I was the one who wanted to draw fortune slips…
"Well, you can just leave it here and forget about it. The stand's over there."
Looking over to where my old man pointed, we could see several folded papers tied to a rope. Ayase-san did the same with her fortune slip. She was smiling again as she walked away, but I bet she was still concerned about it. With the ringing New Year bells behind us, we left the shrine. And just like that, a new year began.