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But they were looking for a monster and a Mwarri, not an Uruk lad carrying the daily sack of garbage to the town dump.

“Next time,” Kismet hissed, “you ride in the sack of garbage.”

“This was your plan.” I responded.

“And I’ve revised it for next time.” she said, taking a bat at my fragile Uruk eyes.

We had written our letters of apology to Captaine Levemont, and booked passage on the Sea Dirge. I know, it sounds like a juicy opera, but it was a schooner (a ship with two masts). Smaller than most vessels that made the passage between the continents and the Shining Isles, but Captain Duncan was more than a canvas short of a full sail.

“One of the advantages of such a small vessel is it’s easy enough for the crew to right her should she founder.” he assured me.

“And your crew is experienced at doing so in a storm?” I asked.

“No, that would be sheer insanity.” he said. “The crew weaves themselves into the nets, rides out the storm, and rights the vessel after it passes.”

.....

I looked back at Boadicea’s Girdle, rapidly falling behind us, and at the dawn sun rising at our port side. “I’ll admit, I was half expecting you to take another heading and tell us you were going to collect some bounty or other.”

He shrugged. “An advantage you didn’t know you had.” he said. “Getting you two back home sticks it to the Thornies.”

“The Thornies?” I asked.

“Well, if you don’t know who those are, look on the other side of the Dagger mountain range.”

“Oh, the Conclave of Thorns.” Kismet said.

“Aye.” Captain Duncan confirmed. “There was a member of my crew, wasn’t who she claimed to be. Dishonest, cheated at dice and cards, wasn’t half as clever as she thought. But the Thornies invited themselves aboard my vessel, coated her in tar and lit the corpse on fire for good measure. Saved me a good deal of pain and heartache, but still... a captain remembers such outrages.”

“Stupid fire god.” Kismet said.

“What do you think of that, young lad?” he asked.

I shook my head, “People do such things to people, and they call my kind monsters.”

“Do they?” he asked. “Tucker, are Uruk monsters?”

“People last time I checked.” Tucker said from the rudder.

“See?” Kismet said, “Told you to do your thing before we were shipboard.”

“Yes, Kismet.” I said, “You show both intelligence and wisdom.”

“No matter to me.” Captain Duncan said. “Ship this small, isn’t like any of us get any privacy. Just stick your posterior over the railing, and let your night soils fall.”

“I’m afraid this will be a bit messier that that.” I said, going to the back railing. “Are we trailing sharks?” I asked.

“Don’t think so.” Tucker said. “Haven’t seen a single fin. Why do you ask?”

“Because we’re about to be.” I warned him, throwing a leg over the back railing.

“Here now,” the captain said, “What’s this about, then?”

“I’m going to shimmy down this line, get into the water, change my form, and then come back on board.” I said, “Unless you want me bleeding on your deck.”

“Well, no captain wants that, but if you plan on bleeding into the ocean, please don’t do it hanging onto our drag-nets. We have enough problems with things taking a slice or a bite out of them as it is.”

Reversing the morning’s transformation was easier and less painful than normal, the Uruk form having had less than a day to become the new me. So it only hurt about three times what being skinned would have, and left me with only a small loss of tissue.

“Even having seen that, it’s a thing, lad.” Captain Duncan said.

“Ooh.” Kismet said, leaning on the stern railing, “Are those megalodons?”

“What, those? Nah, those are just Children of the Shark God. Megalodons are two to four times the size of those, about the size of a newborn Dandan fish.” Tucker said.

“Don’t you curse us, lad.” Captain Duncan said, “Hopefully, we’re too small for a Dandan fish to take a nibble at, anyway.”

It had been three years, but if that Dandan fish still swam in those waters, it agreed.

About every three or four days, something else in the ocean came by that mistook us for food. Mermaids, sea-stings, lionfish, sea serpents, radials... the ocean was full of things that were perfectly willing to eat people.

And, as it turns out, it is extremely hard to upright a foundering schooner. Kismet and I had been commandeered into the crew at that point to fill in for casualties; it was actually more work to run a small ship than a large, or so it seemed to me.

The bigger issue was that it was small. Even if I were there to split the waves, the vessel heaved and pitched, sometimes so hard that we the crew were in the air. Sadly, I had other duties to tend to, and had to purchase a new ability, Mend Wood, to perform them. As the ship was tossed in storms, it ended up cracking and growing new leaks. Meld Wood alone wasn’t enough; I needed to restore the Condition of the wood that was already there.

Even with me doing my best to tend the vessel, we lost the wards about a month into the journey.

“So,” Kismet asked, “how badly screwed are we? I mean, you were barely holding this ship together with those wards.”

I shrugged. “Basic math, it’ll be two weeks or the next major storm.”

I was obviously wrong, we weathered the final storm with flying colors. Those colors were the blue of ocean water spurting into the hull, flecked with spots of red blood, and missing the top third of the back mast, the foremast cracked so badly it took me a day to Meld it back into service.

But that was our last storm of the early Spring, and we sighted land soon enough.

“I admit I do not recognize this coast.” Captain Duncan said.

“We need to turn east.” I said, with confidence.

“How do you know?” Kismet asked.

“The houses have been removed, but that bay and the mound beyond it is Seacrest, where the Empire mines all of its Necrostone. Or mined, I’m not certain of the state of the economy any more.”

“Why would people just abandon their houses?” asked Captain Duncan.

“They didn’t.” Kismet said. “Forced relocation, so the kobolds could move into what was formerly a goblin nest.”

“Vicious monsters, kobolds.” he said. “All leaping and fast and dodging.” In spite of the warm weather, he shivered.

“Welcome to the Tidelands.” Kismet said. “So long as they serve the military as skirmishers, they’re granted citizenry. And lands.”

“I hear the dictator’s a minotaur.” he said. “Reminds me of tales my grandmother passed down of the dragon times.”

“I’d like to hear those tales.” I said.

“Someday later, lad. Right now, we need to get this ship turned to face where the sun rises.”

The wind wasn’t favorable, but it gave us time to see the Thorn vessels, anchored so as to blockade the smallest, barest port I’d seen that was designed for large vessels.

“Thornies.” the captain said. “Well, west it is. I can drop you off at that wooded rise we passed.”

“Maybe some place with less of a slope?” Kismet asked.

“I’d be dropping you off at night.” he warned.

“Heh,” she replied. “Both of us have night vision. We’ll be okay. Will you?”

“Oh, we can go around and find portage in Furdia.” Captain Duncan said. “Repairs will cost more, but we’ve also still got a cargo of textiles. We’ll be fine.”

“Rhishi, say something nice.” Kismet demanded.

“Kismet, if the war with the centaurs is still going on, then the Empire is in a two front war. But yes, our citizens would gladly have purchased your cargo.” I said.

“You have more Charisma than that.” she said.

“Lad’s distracted.” the captain said, “Worried about home. Surprised you’re not.”

Kismet picked at her teeth, then answered. “It hasn’t been home since Rakkal took over. Wasn’t much of a home before that. But... it used to be alive. I’m not expecting much after three years of war. Must have sucked the very life out of ... out of everywhere.”

“Centaurs in the plains.” he said. “So long as they have room to maneuver, they’ve won.”

“Hrm.” I said. “Hortiluk is many things, but he’s not an idiot. I’m surprised that he hasn’t won that war already.”

“Well, I admit I don’t live in your nation, or trade there, or even hear much news about it. Perhaps you should be about that? AFTER the gibson line. Gibson line!”

It was a busy day, but not so busy that I couldn’t imagine the worst. A landscape devoid of villages, now the sole property of plains cats and ghouls. I found myself releasing a breath when I first saw a trace of firelight, a single house high up the side of a hill.

“Yeah.” Kismet said, also seeing it. “The land isn’t totally dead; let’s see what’s left.”

“Deal.” I said.

“You’re carrying the luggage until we have a pack animal.” she said. “Since you’re so strong.”