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Narrator: Wa Fenya

“Nah, trust me on this.” Lady Kismet said, rolling Little Monitor firmly onto his back.

“But, and I do not mean to nag, he very much hates being on his back.” Sister Yoshi replied. “It seems to be some kind of instinct.”

“It’s easier to feed him with his mouth facing upward.” Kismet insisted. “Where are your food scraps?”

“Food scraps? There is barely enough food to go around. Little Monitor here...”

Kismet reached into his mouth, snapped something off from between his teeth. “Hay.”

Her nose was wrinkled in repulsion, but the smile never left her eyes. “Sister Yoshi, I think I have a solution for your unconscious lizard problem.”

“So sorry, but what...”

.....

Without waiting for Sister Yoshi’s reply, Lady Kismet fetched a ladle of water. She was careful not to spill more than she had to in returning to Little Monitor’s bedside. Once there, without ceremony, she emptied the whole thing into his jaws.

He stopped breathing as the liquid pooled in his throat.

“Please pardon, but this seems very unlike medicine.”

“Because it’s not.” Lady Kismet replied. “Just wait for it.”

Little Monitor swallowed, and resumed breathing.

Lady Kismet smiled. “Yeah, just feed him. Hay if you have to, wood if you have to, it doesn’t matter as long as it’s something that was recently living. He’s like a living trash disposal. Just keep feeding him until he doesn’t swallow, and then come back in four hours and fill him up again.”

“That... Does not seem like it would work.” Sister Yoshi Protested.

“I beg your pardon, Lady Kismet.”

“You have it. What?” Her tone of voice indicated that I did not, in fact, have any manner of pardon or forgiveness.

“Lady Kismet, the processing of any organic matter for nutrition is a highly advanced Chi Cultivator ability. Are you telling me that Little Monitor has mastered this level of ability?” I asked.

She snorted. “I don’t know about ability, but Little Glutton here can eat as much as four adult males. I think he stores the excess in his System, except it seems to digest there. I think he called it his System Stomach or something like that. It’s part of his Omnivore method, which I’m glad I don’t have.”

I don’t see why not; along with Aging Refinement, it is one of the abilities common to those who break through the Golden Hero barrier. Not all Chi heroes will have those abilities, you understand, but over half of the ones recorded in the last three generations had both, and over eight in ten if you merely need one or the other.

I felt a brief pang of [Envy] for his good fortune, but my Sloth Armor reached out like pseudopods of a slime monster, and removed it before it could take root on my Sin Spiral.

“Look.” Lady Kismet said, “If I hire a child to feed him, and pay for the hay, will you let the child feed him until he wakes up?”

“I will stop the child if I notice abnormal swelling of the stomach.” Sister Yoshi said.

Lady Kismet closed her eyes, and took two deep breaths. “Fine. When he wakes up in two or three days, will you tell him to meet me at the Blue Boar Inn?”

“Such as his military duties permit.” Sister Yoshi said.

“Military?? I thought sneeze-name hero had died.” She turned to me. “You heard he died, right?”

“Lady Kismet, I have heard that Xinyi Shi had passed, and both of us have seen the celebrations and plans for more. This does mean that the Rice Gate itself is safe, does it not?”

“Only until the enemy make longer ladders. The captain believes they will continue to siege this section of wall in an effort to make this war a matter of attrition.” Sister Yoshi said. “But yes, we are already spreading champions out among the wall sections most beset by enemy champions in past assaults.”

“Well, okay, how long would Rhishi be out of action, normally?”

Sister Yoshi blinked. “So sorry, Lady Kismet, but he is unconscious and very close to death. I would not be so certain that he ever will wake up. Given his wounds and the incredibly low amount of his health, I would not be surprised if he were dead within two days.”

The noise that came from Lady Kismet’s throat was one you can get by pulling on any cat’s tail. She shouted for several minutes in a language I am certain we were all glad that none of us could speak. She mocked the honorable Sister Yoshi, struck her claws against each other, emptied a small bag of dried rose buds into Little Monitor’s mouth, and waved with both hands as he swallowed.

“Anything!” she shrieked. “LITTERALLY ANYTHING. I’m finding a child and a stable keeper, and I’m doing the simple thing that will allow my friend to heal.”

She then put on her best you-are-beneath-me posture and stalked off toward the gate.

“I am so sorry for your current assignment.” Sister Yoshi said to me.

I shrugged. “I’ve seen him pee. Even if the other noble woman shares him, I can’t imagine what all this fuss is about.”

“Honestly, we cannot spare even such poor champions as him. If he does heal that quickly, though...”

“It may be that his powers developed in different areas. He may be a Raiden, instead of taking after Susano-Wo.”

We smiled, and bowed politely, and said things as proper as the time allowed before I had to hasten after my assigned noble.

I suspect that the Lady Kismet had some manner of anger-powered battery, which enabled some of her Might subordinate statistics, such as Athletics, which governs movement speed. I had the Chi Ability Heart of the Rabbit, which allowed me to keep up.

When Lady Kismet chose to act, she could be a tsunami of activity. She found a starving daughter, whose parents both needed medicines they could not afford, but which Lady Kismet herself could. With deft tongue and sharp mind and loose purse strings, she secured the delivery of an even dozen bales of hay to the Rice Gate.

While the urchin bathed, she had an almond-brown dress tailored to her shape. There was time to march up to the Rice Gate, ensure the child was permitted access, and still make it to the Blue Boar Inn just as the messenger’s belongings were finishing their own arrival under Gun Nong’s watchful eye.

“Ah, there you are.” He said. “I have received reports that one among the Nine was found?”

Lady Kismet turned her head and spat. In a most un-ladylike manner. Should there be time, I would have to teach her the proper form of spitting. “She got away; I’ve had her possessions confiscated, in the hope that there is some clue or other among them.”

What followed was tedious, but it needed to be done. Starting from one side of the heap her belongings formed, we worked our way through inventory of each item.

One pair of chopsticks, black, embroidered in gold with jasmine flowers and mice.

Bone hair comb, curved, fashioned in the form of a butterfly.

Specialist insignia, with attached heraldry of each of the other companies.

Five sets of five dice each, of different colors, plus five identical cups fashioned of rosewood.

A folio of sheet music from the play I Walk Beside My Ghost, intended for use by the flutist section.

A pair of nekote climbing claws, weathered and in need of repair.

Arm bracers and bracelets, belt, garters, and ankle bracelets for the performance of the dance of eighty silks. (Silks themselves not among belongings.)

It was, so near as I could determine, the normal detritus that a successful and frugal woman collected over years of saving. We were barely even started when Lord Xho, Pharmacist Hwa Song, and Hoo Long entered, tired from their own endeavors that day.

“The agent?” Lord Xho asked.

“She got away.” Lady Kismet said. “We got her things and her pet.”

“Excellent. Show me the list of belongings you already have. Pharmacist Hwa, please go upstairs to my room. You will need this key to enter. On my night-stand, find the book on nocturnal birds, and bring it here.”

He looked at the list, muttered something about calligraphy classes, and slowly gathered cheer.

“Lady Kismet, what have you deduced from this list?” He asked her.

“She was a hoarder; military people tend not to gather this many things.”

Yeah, right. Maybe in her nation.

“And what else?” he pressed.

“What else do YOU see? We haven’t even finished the list.”

Lord Xho steepled his fingers and sighed. “On this page alone, only the worn climbing claws are not of interest. The others tell a tale of treachery and deceit. Specialist Wa, what do you make of this page?”

Well, first, it was written by my own hand, so each of the lines brought forth images, textures, and sometimes smells. “From the long and suggestive dance of the silks, to the contemporary skills of a modern flute play, and from the corrupt debauchery of dice games to the standard decency of maintaining her appearance... This woman may not have exactly what she needs to interact with others, but she has something that will entertain any manner of guest, and get her invited to any number of different types of soldier’s groups.”

“Indeed, indeed.” Lord Xho said. “Ah, and here is the good Pharmacist with my book.”