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Chapter 12

Boadicea’s Girdle

We woke before dawn, and killed the two spiders we found inside the wall.

Miss Turner had let the natives know to gather food and water, and there were spiders to kill there.

Whatever his social failings, Diamond Jaek did his warrior’s blood proud that day. Nor did Miss Turner neglect her spear.

We did what we could, and met up on shore with Clemson, who had been consoling the widow the night before.

.....

Oh dear. Even a quick glimpse showed that Clemson needed a good aural cleansing to get rid of the curse. It had tendrils in heart and brain and loins, and looked to afflict him in other organs, as well.

I’ve seen worse since then, of course, but this was the worst I’d seen since Wren of Whitehill pronounced a curse upon me, and forgot to target it.

Magic, all magic, has a twisted sense of humor, and wants you dead.

He even tried a pass at Miss Turner.

“I’ve known sailors to brag in the past, Mister Clemson. Forgive me if I find your words other than reassuring. Besides, with luck, I’ll be in my favorite spa in Boadicea’s Girdle. Jacques always makes sure I have a ... proper release.”

“You can forget it, swabber.” Said Jaek. “Woman’s got a particular type. No matter what the likes of you or I can do, her eyes are firmly set in other directions.”

“Ugh, a bath without salt in the water.” Kismet said. “I think a day in a spa with a proper hair brusher would improve my mood greatly.”

“I could use a good scouring myself.” I admitted. “For some reason, diplomats do keep themselves clean.”

“Physically clean.” Jaek said, turning his head to spit. “Probably due to all the slime they have to speak at each other to grease their diplomatic sleds.”

“Mister Hoarfrost, you do have the soul of a poet, after all.”

“Eh, I’ve a harsh day’s work ahead of me.” Clemson said. “I’ll wait until after that sweat to get my bathing in.”

“Was it worth the punishment?” I asked.

He stretched his arms to his side. “I feel like a new man, like I might as just swim out to the ship and still take my due work share.”

Jaek shook his shoulder. “Not a task I’d have done myself, but it is good to have the courage to enjoy what life offers you.”

The longboat was out to us before the holystoning was done.

“Bosun Smythe is most cross with you, friend Clemson.”

“Ah, let him be cross, Andu. Some things are worth risk of the lash.”

“This still feels like the coward’s way.” Jaek said.

“We’ll be back. Soon as we can, with warriors enough to beat those spiders back. Let’s swear to it.”

“Kismet, no.” I said.

But she swore as she wanted to. “I’ll leave my contract if I must.” She said.

“Perhaps the mayor will not need an emissary from the Tidelands.”

Miss Turner snorted, but said nothing.

#

Lashing is a horrible process, that splits open the skin and leaves one unable to work for a number of days. Clemson took it with a song in his heart and curses on his lips.

Honestly, his spite cost me more sanity than seeing another being in pain.

But ten lashes go quickly, and swabbing the deck was oddly soothing.

“Ambassador, the captaine would like to speak with you when you’re done with swabbing the deck.” Smythe said.

“Of course. Tell the captaine we’ll be done in...”

Kismet dropped the head of her swab on my boot. “Woman. Waiting.”

I almost started with an argument, then turned to Bosun Smythe. “I should hate to keep the captaine waiting.”

“Mister Ambassador, I understand from Miss Kismet that you need transport for up to thirty soldiers and hunters?”

“If we can recruit that many in Boadicea’s Girdle. I am less certain than Kismet that we will be able to find that many.”

“I am told that Boadicea’s Girdle has cleared two hundred families in population. I’m certain you can find enough fools to hold spears.”

“I’m not going to let Kismet do that. I’ve seen a Child of Anansi, I know what they are capable of.”

Was I really going to kill someone as miraculous as Eihtfuhr? Someone who had just grown up believing they had the right to eat other people?

Well, I wasn’t on a genocidal mission. I just wanted to trim the spiders back to a sense of balance.

“Do tell, ambassador.”

So I told her of Eihtfuhr, and the things I had seen him do. Of what I had guessed or later pieced together about his statistics, level, and hunter abilities. “So, taking down even one of them would be a feat worthy of a champion. If there really are multiples on that island, it’s no place for idealistic youth.”

“Nor for crusading teenagers.” She agreed. “Tell me, are you ever going to take that young woman to task?”

“Sooner or later, one of these ideas of hers will backfire. Before then, I might as well attempt to deflect a typhoon with a teaspoon.”

The captaine snorted. “You needs must work on your metaphors, ambassador. But know this; Kismet reminds me of my younger sister, now three years married and with a second child on the way. If you don’t stop her, she will keep attempting grander and grander heroics. The person who ends up dead when she inevitably fails may just be you.”

“Fire reveals.” I said.

“Be certain you don’t burn in that fire, ambassador. I look forward to having you and Miss Kismet both on board when you return to your Tidelands.”

“That is years to go yet, captaine. But it would be my honor to book passage on the Sharkbite again.”

And, though the wind was at our back, it was after dusk when we arrived at Boadicea’s Glory.

Kismet and I pushed the Bear around a last time, but departed the ship before swabbing was complete.

#

They were waiting there on the dock, dusky olive skinned Narces and the reddish brown tones of Gamilla. Technically, they were our bodyguards whom we had “accidentally” left behind in Furdia. Truthfully, they owed their allegiance to a hobgoblin named Hortiluk, who was scheming to take control after my employer.

He didn’t even bother to hide it, and Rakkal regarded his antics with an amused disinterest.

That was going to come to a head someday, and I was torn between the desire to be nowhere nearby, and to be close enough to Rakkal to see Hortiluk’s messy end.

Anyway, our guardians were there. They were not happy.

“See, I told you they wouldn’t have any problems catching up!” Kismet said, running across the docks to hug Gamilla.

“I’m not hugging you.” I told Narces.

“Nor I you. Tell me, Truthspeaker, that you didn’t mean to leave us in Lewardsport, stranded in a land we didn’t even know the language.”

“Narces, between your will and focus, Gamilla’s cunning, and the ability to find a translator, we didn’t think the two of you would be far behind us.”

“But it was deliberate?”

“Of course, it was.”

His fist knocked me to the dock flooring. It’s amazing how hard archers can hit.

[You have received eight points of bludgeoning damage. After armor, two points have been received. You have 28/30 health remaining.]

“I’ve earned far worse than that.” I said.

“If I kick you that hard, you’ll end up in the drink and swim away. From now on, where you go, we go.”

I grinned in victory. “If Jaek and Miss Turner are returning, that’s six of us, Miss Kismet. I leave finding the others to you.”

Jaek put a fist to his chest. “Let me gather the warrirors. I know where they drink.”

I waved a hand dismissively. “If they can sleep in the cargo bay, we’ve room for up to forty.”

Miss Turner looked ... shocked. “You can’t mean to just return to that horrid place.”

“Miss Turner,” Kismet said, disentangling herself from Gamilla, “we mean to do EXACTLY that. Spiders are icky, and if they mean to eat helpless people, then they can deal with him.”

She pointed right at me. “I’m sure you meant they can deal with you.”

“No, I’m sure I’d rather you deal with them. I’ll be there with my trusty torch and short spear. But you’re far better with a shield than I am.”

There was no point arguing that. My training with a shield had been half an hour of children attacking me with clubs. When that was no longer a challenge, the adults took over.

Don’t try that unless you heal rapidly, like I do. The number of head injuries isn’t surprising. Kids are vicious, if they know you can’t hit them back.

“Well, I guess both of you have introduced yourselves to the governor?”

.....

“That featherheaded moron refused to accept our diplomatic credentials!” Narces bellowed at me.

“Well, give me a hand up and let’s go fix that.”

#