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As the fanfare slowly dies down, my feet unwillingly follow my family into the largest temple of the Holy Church, marveling at its similarities with the most ornate and prolific of cathedrals in my world such as the Vatican. We wander in and the difference between the outdoors and indoors is stark.

Outside there was great fanfare, with cheering citizens flying colorful streamers decorated with a symbol of a phoenix, its wings spread wide within the Holy Church’s sun emblem. It symbolizes the unity between the imperial family and the Holy Church, especially fitting for today’s Blessing Rites when we pray for the empire’s good fortune as descendants of the man who was first blessed by Helio.

It resembles a typical church, something I am extremely familiar with as I always sang in choirs at the churches my mother would diligently attend every Sunday without fail, even with the chaotic, constant moving we were subject to. Our footsteps echo and skirts swish as we move down the spacious aisle and follow the deferential priest who is leading us to the front altar.

“If you could pick up the pace, your highness. The Holy Priestess doesn’t have all day,” a lower-ranked priest taking up the rear snidely mutters in a tone only I could hear. I roll my eyes, amazed at the disrespect I constantly put up with.

Well, I did promise myself to start turning things around for myself.

“Excuse me?” I ask as I didn’t hear him properly, my light voice carrying around the quiet interior. My father and oldest brother don’t look back at me and don’t care, but I can see Julian cast a glance back towards me. I ignore the question in his eyes and turn to face the lower-ranked lackey who spoke to me.

“What’s your name?” I suddenly ask in the same low, hard tone, the sudden change from a cheery, upbeat child’s inquiry to a lower intensity startling him. I look him in the eye, never mind the fact that I nearly have a crick in my neck since as an adult he’s much taller than me.

.....

The flash of gold works like magic and I can tell right when it hits him. That’s right, I want to yell, put some respect on my name! But I settle for a far more mature sneer until the now wimpy priest says, “D-Donovan.”

I nod once and shelve the name in my imaginary Burn Book, which already features a majority of my family, several palace servants, and a few nobles.

We reach the front where the altar stands, proudly shrouded in gold and marble and holy imagery. The high-ranking priest who led us all over bows low.

“I shall bring the Holy Priestess forth to conduct the prayer service,” he says. I scoff quietly in the back, not having forgotten how he nearly did me dirty two years ago. I need to get his name so that I can put it in my burn book.

“Mother, who is the Holy Priestess? Why do we have to wait for her? Shouldn’t she be waiting for us?” Julia asks, tugging at Empress Katya’s had with a pitiful look. It’s quite adorable until she opens her mouth again.

“She should be flogged for disrespect and kicked out of the Church. What do you think, Mother?” The contrast between her sugary sweet voice and what she says makes me think she would do amazingly in a horror movie in my world.

Emperor Helio casts a dark glance over his shoulder at Empress Katya, completely ignoring the pouting Julia below. I create an imaginary conversation between their silent looks.

His dark glare: “What are you teaching this child?”

Her pleading eyes about to shed a tear: “If you helped with her and met her occasionally she would turn out better!”

His even darker glare: “You are trying to turn this around on me?”

Now I can definitely see a tear in her emerald eyes: “Your Majesty!” Empress Katya sniffs a little bit, wiping a tear that just won’t fall with a dainty finger and putting up an aggrieved expression.

Just like myself, Julian is a bystander to the silent conversation, although his eyes appear to carry some compassion and concern for his mother naturally. But he doesn’t do anything as doesn’t want to harm his already weak standing in his father’s heart. What a hypocrite.

I, on the other hand, feel absolutely nothing. Perhaps a long time ago when I actually read the book, I stupidly felt bad for the poor male lead’s father and his loveless marriage. But my perception and reality are two very different things. Now that I watch this scene, I just think that since he married her to have a handle on the powerful House Duvernay, he should’ve realized that this was the price he would pay.

I slowly walk around the standoff, positioning myself before a wide expanse of floor to prepare for the greatest performance of my life. I walk through the steps in my head taking deep breaths to calm myself. The moment the Holy Priestess appears, I’ll drop into a dead ‘faint’ like a character from a soap opera. When I conveniently wake up about 10 minutes later or whenever feels right I’ll say that I had visions of the future.

Although the current timeline is still a few years before the main character, Clara, arrives, they reference the past often enough for me to have a rudimentary idea of the important events that will occur in the next decade.

There’s going to be a large scale war very soon with Sarsaval, spurned on by the escaped nobleman who fled there. It will be costly and dangerous, resulting in the lives of thousands of Erudians although a bittersweet victory is won five years later. Contact is reached with the mysterious and elusive Old Continent around the same time as the victory is won and a successful trade route is established across the sea with the new ally. The Duke of Avernall will soon pass away and the dukedom will fall into the hands of my good friend, Finn, in but a year or two.

I could remember more, but the pages I wrote the full story in Spanish are still back in Bianca’s shack. But once I establish myself as a legitimate promised child and properly tie myself to this world so Peppermint can’t manipulate me anymore, I’m sure procuring them will be as easy as pie. As for my future after all the content I’ve learned from the books has come to pass, I’ll be old enough to have my own fortune and travel the world so that way no one can pinpoint my location. I’ll spend my money freely until I die an old cat lady with 10 pets.

All that, with a side of revenge of course! I’m too petty to leave without dishing a little bit in return for everyone who’s made me miserable so far.

“Hey,” a familiar voice says. It’s Julian and I frown slightly as he stands directly in the direction I am planning to faint in.

“Hey yourself,” I mutter, adjusting my body so I can faint in the correct, dramatic pose right before the altar. The boy irritatingly steps once more into my path, drawing a fierce glare in his direction.

“What’s your deal?” I snap, trying to calculate with my eyes another good angle I can faint in.

“Better question, what’s your deal?” Julian asks, suspicion heavy in his gold gaze. He’s wearing his full formal uniform, the state uniform as opposed to the military uniform. The brilliant red jacket along with the gold pins and epaulets feels like a beacon, drawing all the stares in our direction.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I answer, sweat suddenly pooling in my armpits.

“Yes, you do,” he says matter-of-factly. “You keep staring at the floor as if it’s a million dollars. What are you planning to do?” Julian crouches as if he’s tying his shoes when he hisses out the last sentence.

I curse myself for being so obvious. Perhaps I’m so used to being ignored that I never thought someone would actively pay attention to me. And that someone being a relatively sharp adult who is from my world as well, does not bode well for me when I don’t know where his allegiances align.

“Why don’t you just mind your business, huh? Not all of us are lucky enough to be born as a beloved prince you know,” I bite out sourly.

“I’ve been helping you out of the palace for two years as you do God knows what and you can’t even tell me this little thing? Winter, this is a big day. None of your antics will do you any good,” Julian sighs tiredly as if I really am a small child.

When we first met, I had thought that Julian would prove to be a welcome ally, but hearing him mocking me sends a fury I didn’t know I was capable of feeling running through my chest. I decide to deflect his piercing questions before someone unfortunate begins to listen in. I glare up at Julian and take the offensive, the best defense in any interrogation.

“Oh? My antics,” I lightly chuckle before turning serious, putting finger quotations around the word ‘antics’. “Do you know what sort of antics your beloved mother gets up to? Do you know what she does to me whenever we meet? If we weren’t in the most sacred building in this entire empire, I would lift my skirts and show just how far your mother’s love goes for me.”

Julian looks startled to suddenly be on the recieving end of the interrogation, as I had expected. But there is no surprise, no shock, confirming my worst hypothesis.

I smile as I scathingly continue, “You know, don’t you? That’s the worst part. The fact that you know what kind of person your mother is, but you can stand there in your righteousness and tell me off. It’s in her eyes. They just go... hollow. ” I nod my head towards the empress, who is softly cooing to a whiny Julia. Julian is wordless.

“But her face carries such joy. It’s sickening, seeing that face when she h-hurts me. And I get it, wanting to see only the best parts. She really is a woman to admire. Every word, every move, nothing she does or says can be criticized, only praised. But that doesn’t hide the black, soulless heart she has. So I must ask you Julian, why must I thank you for one small favor, when you stand back and see what I go through everyday in the palace without doing a thing? Even if I wanted to burn this building to the ground with all of us in it, it wouldn’t be your place to tell me not to. I truly don’t blame you for loving her. But by not acting, it makes you just as complicit in her actions. It makes me want to punch you in smug little face, then punch myself for actually thinking you were my friend once upon a time.”

This time when I step away from him, Julian doesn’t follow, his gaze unfocused as he hopefully requests on the sudden heartfelt words that rushed out of me. I take another quick look around the room, but thankfully no one is paying attention to me.

The sound of distant approaching footsteps startles everyone out of their thoughts. My father was slouched against a pew, with only Augustus standing within a few feet of him. My ‘mother’ straightens into a standing position and pats Julia’s hand to remind her to stay quiet. Julian looks dazed as he, along with the rest of us, look towards the arched door, with golden scriptures carved onto it as two distinct footsteps approach.

It’s the same dog priest as before and a young woman, no a girl. And she’s absolutely stunning.

She wears white robes with the Holy Church’s sun emblem splashed across the front. Pale blue lines the robe, creating a stunning contrast with her ebony skin and perfectly matching her pale blue eyes. Her black, curly hair sits in two cute puffs on her head, although her stature has me pegging her at around middle school age.

“Our new Holy Priestess, discovered in a remote village near our southern borders,” the priest says in a simpering tone.

I distantly recall some fuss made a few months prior about the old Holy Priest dying and people being sad about it, but as I never cared much for what happened with the Church, I didn’t pay attention to the replacement. The girl looks sweet and is definitely an upgrade from whatever old fogey had the job before her, but has a solemn bearing that denotes her importance. The once dull altar seems to come to life with her presence.

In sync with the rest of my family save for my father, we all bow to the Holy Priestess, the second highest ranked person in the empire after the emperor. I was momentarily distracted by meeting someone as cool as this new Holy Priestess, but I finally find a nice patch of ground to faint on and have my fake vision. However, I can feel a pair of eyes follow me as I straighten from the curtsey and out of habit, I look up to meet a cerulean gaze.

It feels like the ocean at first, calm and placid. Then fireworks explode in my brain.

And all I can think as darkness obscures my eyesight is: This was definitely not my plan!