Chapter 122 - Home Is Where The Heart Is
It was way past midnight when we sneaked back into Jade Temple, but I didn't feel like sleeping at all. Bai Ye helped me put away the new purchases into my closet and, disregarding my protest, shoved me into bed. "I lost track of time," he said with a tinge of remorse as he tucked me under the blanket. "You need rest … Get some sleep before it's too late."
I chuckled. I knew he was thinking about my menses—he always became nagging like this whenever he was worried about my health. "I'm feeling fine this time," I assured him. "The tuber fleece flower must've helped."
More than fine, actually. I didn't feel cold like last month at all, and I was still wearing my summer robes in the middle of autumn while Bai Ye had already put on an extra layer for the season. The drastic improvement shocked me a bit, but considering how much effort we put into finding that tuber fleece flower, I suppose I shouldn't expect less.
"Then keep it that way," he persisted. "It'll prepare you for more stairs tomorrow."
"I'll run up and down those stairs ten times a day if it gets me a massage from you at night." I caught his hand before he pulled away with a glare. "Please … Stay with me for a little longer. If I go to sleep now, I'll only wake up to another long day where I can't talk to you."
He stared at me. Then he sighed at last in resignation. "Half an hour. Just this once."
I grinned, knowing that he must've agreed because he wanted to spend more time with me as well. I rolled onto my side, seizing both of his hands in mine. "Tell me how you used to spend Mid Autumn," I said. "What did they do for celebrations where you lived?"
He blinked, and I realized belatedly that I was asking him about something from five hundred years ago. I smiled a bit sheepishly. Sometimes it was easy to forget his age—not just because of that bewitching face, but also because he didn't act quite like the other immortals at Mount Hua, reserved and seasoned with time. His edges were too sharp, and I wondered what could've happened in the past that made him this way.
"I grew up in the capital city," he finally said, squinting his eyes as if trying to recollect those old memories. "The noble families there liked flower shows, tea gatherings, and poem contests during these festivals … Anything that can be used to show off their exquisite taste. But I had always found them boring."
"I didn't know you could write poems," I gasped. This was the first time that he told me about his life in the commoner's world, and I never knew that he had led such a different life before. No wonder he always had that graceful air about him.
He laughed. "I never did well in those contests, as far as I can recall. I'm much better with a sword than with a writing brush." He squinted again. "I suppose I had always preferred martial arts. There were dragon dances sometimes too, but the dancers were all poorer people, whereas the highborn would sit on the grandstand watching the entire show in silence. I disguised myself as a street urchin once and sneaked into the dancing team … when my parents found out, they locked me up in the study and starved me for three days."
My jaw dropped to the ground. Were all highborn parents strict with their children like that? "They must have high expectations for your future," I mumbled. "It's hard to imagine they would agree to send you away to a cultivation sect when you grew up."
"They didn't," he chuckled. "I left home on my own. It wasn't a place that I felt I belonged, and those days are nothing but a haze to me now."
I thought I understood then why Bai Ye had always been aloof and reticent towards most people. Family was a vague concept to him to begin with, and choosing the path of a cultivator meant to break what little ties he had with it. A small wistfulness rose in me. Although I knew that this was the life every one of us faced, I couldn't help but feel that it didn't suit someone as gentle and loving as him. It shouldn't be what he wanted.
"What about Mount Hua?" I asked. "After so many years there … Has it ever felt like home to you?"
He squeezed my hand. The look in his eyes gleamed under the candlelight. "Home is where the heart is, Qing-er. My days at Mount Hua had been dull most of my life, but not anymore. I've never felt so at home like this before."
My heart swelled at the warmth pulsing from his hands. "Bai Ye …" I suddenly couldn't hold back the question that had been on the edge of my mind for over a month. "Then … If one day I do want to leave Mount Hua … Not because I envy a commoner's life, but because I want to … be with you in the open like a real family … Will you come with me?"
This was the question I had wanted to ask him at Silver Gate, but I couldn't find enough courage for it back then. Maybe the festive atmosphere had given me that courage tonight. Maybe the love in his words had given me the confidence that I might get the answer I wanted to hear. I waited quietly for his reply.
The candle crackled beside him, sending a flickering glow dancing across his face. He lowered his head, and I didn't see the look in his eyes when he lifted my hands and brushed his lips over my knuckles. "If that is still your wish by that time," he said softly, "I promised I will always be by your side."
"Of course it will st—"
He smiled and got up from beside my bed, planting another kiss on my forehead. "Just remember that my heart stays with you, Qing-er.. No matter where we are, you're the only home where it will belong."