BXBX NOVEL Chapter 139 - In-depth Analysis
Chapter 139 - In-depth Analysis
The plan worked just as I expected.
No, it worked better than I expected. It\'s entirely possible that Noelle has been emotionally scarred by what I did to her today.
Nice.
She\'ll stay away from me from now on.
Hopefully.
??Heh, you really did pull that prank to distance her from yourself.??
What the actual fuck?
Why in the goddamn cinnamon fuck are you back, eh, you little bitch?
??Jesus, calm the fuck down, bruh. I\'m only here because I\'m got a small break from my work.??
[It has been a few days since you went back to work, and you got a break only today?]
This guy\'s a corporate slave, huh.
??That\'s just how busy I am,?? he sighed. ??I practically had to beg to get a small break.??
[And you decided to waste it here. Someone sure needs to get a life.]
??My life revolves around you now.??
[Ew.]
That just sent a shiver down my spine. Bruh.
??Anyway, the particulars of how I chose to spend my free time aside, please answer my question.??
[Question? You made a statement. You have already decided that my reason for pulling that prank was to emotionally distance Noelle from me. There is nothing left for me to say.]
??And I\'m absolutely right about that. I\'m just wondering why.??
[Well, keep wondering.]
??Oh, and as usual, I\'ll go back as soon as you answer my question.??
[Hmmm…]
Spending the effort to actually think about how I should answer versus dealing with him until his so-called break ends.
[Alright, then. If that\'s what you want.]
??…You didn\'t even spare a second to think about what option you should chose.??
[I wasn\'t actually wondering what I should do. It was just a thought experiment, nothing more.]
??Wow.??
Yea, get fucked, loser.
[Anyway, you are right. I deliberately did something so horrible that it\'d give her mental trauma because I wanted to prevent her from getting too close to me.]
??Yes, I know that,?? he sighed again. ??I\'m asking why.??
Why?
[Well, what do you think?]
??Well, the cliché answer would be that after living through so many lives over the countless years of your existence, you\'ve become tired.??
[Oh? Tired in what way?]
??Tired of getting close to people and losing them over and over again.??
[…]
??It makes perfect sense, wouldn\'t you say? You\'ve lived over 150 million lives. Over the course of most of those lives, you got close to the people around you. They loved you, and maybe you loved some of them back.??
[…]
??But the end result always stayed the same. They died once and for all, while you had to go on to your next life with the memories of the previous one, knowing that you\'ve permanently lost those you loved.??
[…Haaah,] I couldn\'t help but sigh.
??Over time, you got tired of that. It\'s only natural, really. It\'s difficult to watch the people you love die in front of your eyes. It only happened to me a few times, and in my rage, I destroyed the very fabric of reality I lived in.??
[Come again?]
Did I hear that right?
??Forget about it. The main point is that while I\'ve had to deal with it a few times at most, you\'ve been going through it for millions of lives. So over time, you developed a tendency to keep people away from yourself. After all, it\'s difficult to love them when they hate you with a burning passion.??
[Hmm…]
??But it\'s difficult to make people hate you. Unless they are certified sociopaths, people don\'t suddenly start hating someone they\'ve been close with. And that\'s where you come in.??
[Do I?]
??Obviously. You try to maintain a certain distance from everyone around, and you actively attack anyone who tries to close that distance. That\'s what you did with Noelle and Neia.??
[Huh.]
??After what happened at the dungeon, there was a chance Neia would start thinking fondly of you. So you pulled that little prank on her and then made her lie to change the very basis of your relationship. What you did today with Noelle was something similar. What really did it for her was when you said, \'I couldn\'t have done this without you.\'??
[…]
Well, well, would you look at this little wanker.
??I doubt she would forget what happened today anytime soon. Even if she does, she probably won\'t be able to look at you the same way. It will be difficult for her on a psychological level to approach you again.??
[My oh my.]
??And that\'s the prime reason why you pulled your epic prank on her, and that\'s why you\'ll continue pulling it, for all of eternity.??
All of eternity, eh?
I truly hope that is not the case.
I\'ve already had enough.
??And that\'s my in-depth analysis.??
[I see.]
??So, how did I do? Did I nail it???
[Well…]
??Well???
[Well, you did,] I couldn\'t help but sigh again.
??Oh???
[You nailed it right on the head.]
??Really??? He seemed slightly surprised.
[I don\'t want anyone to get close to me, because I don\'t want to lose someone I love again. I can\'t take it, not anymore.]
\'Live on, #@!#&!^#. Live on, for my sake,\' a voice resounded inside my head as a scene of distant past flitted through my head.
I really don\'t want to go through something like that ever again.
??Oh…??
[I\'m just tired, Mr. X, I\'m just tired,] I sighed again.
Whew, this conversation has been more insightful that I thought.
I really hope I\'m not personally attacked like this. Ever again.
??I see, so I got everything right, hmm,?? I felt him nodding.
[I guess you really are an expert on me.]
??I see, I see. By the way.??
[Yeah?]
??Do you remember what I told you when we played that threatening game???
[Not really.]
I don\'t remember useless conversations, after all.
??Oh, but you do. You never forget anything. That\'s why you are the First Being.??
[Maybe, but I specifically deleted that memory because it was absolutely useless.]
Why would I remember the threats of a wanker? That would be an incredible waste of memory space. I\'d be better off using it to remember the hentai I wanked off to I mean memes.
??Hehe,?? he chuckled. ??I told you, Mr. Origin, I know you better than I do.??
Is that so?