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Elreth was shocked at herself when she suddenly asked Gar what he thought Dad would do if he were there. She hadn’t meant to blurt the words, because even though she wondered about it, she felt too highly strung to consider the options. But those cursed drums keep thudding in her head, making the air around them shake. They were hammering at her, lowering her defenses.

It was a question she and Aaryn asked themselves at times, as they led and tried to be the Alphas her parents would have admired.

But it was hard thinking about her parents. And Elreth didn’t need anything else to be hard just then.

Yet, it was also curious to watch Gar’s face after she said the words—the way he seemed to get lost in a thought or a memory. And suddenly, she desperately wanted to know what was going through his head. Was it a memory she shared? Advice she’d already know?

Was it what she needed to stop feeling like the ground was about to roll right out from under her feet?

“Gar—”

Gar blinked and took a deep breath. Then he turned to her, his face blazing with a strange light. “I need to tell you something,” he said quietly.

Elreth’s stomach went cold at that tone—whatever he had to say, he thought she wouldn’t want to hear it. “Okay.”

.....

She braced, waiting.

Gar raked a hand through his hair and looked around, measuring how close the others were—which was, not close—and how quietly he needed to speak to keep the conversation private.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but I thought this wasn’t the time, and I wanted to talk to Rika first and… it’s just been a lot. I’m sorry.”

Elreth’s stomach clenched. What was he talking about. “Gar, what’s going on?”

“I just realized that this might be the last chance and I don’t want you hearing this from anyone else or—”

“Gar, just tell me.”

She balled her hands to fists when her brother’s face—usually cocky, or amused—suddenly crumpled. It was like watching a cliff give way.

“Gar—”

“Rika lost a baby,” he said, his voice tight through a clenched jaw.

Elreth froze.

“Another one,” he said abruptly.

“Wait… what?!”

Gar blinked, his eyes beginning to shine. His jaw was tight, flexing. His expression stern. But she didn’t miss that he was swallowing. Over and over again. “Rika got pregnant. Twice. And now she’s lost both of them and… and now I’m afraid. But she didn’t want people asking her about it, and I didn’t want you to be scared, so we didn’t tell you.”

Elreth gaped at her brother, her heart broken and weeping.

“I’m sorry, El,” he said, his voice rough and trembling. “I should have—”

“Don’t. Don’t be stupid, Gar. It’s fine. I mean… it’s not fine, obviously. I’m just sorry you had to go through that by yourself.”

He shrugged, clearly uncomfortable with her sympathy. She wanted to reach out, but suspected he would flinch away if she did.

“We had each other,” he said, swallowing again. “But it’s made me realize something. That’s… that’s not the important part of what I was going to say—”

“Not important? Gar, it doesn’t get more important than that.”

He blew out a breath. “I meant… I didn’t want to distract from what I was going to say. That’s the personal part, but this is bigger. Right now. What we’re doing. What you’re doing. It just made me realize that… none of us is big enough for this alone, El. I mean, last year showed us that, right?” he said and she thought he’d meant to be dry about it, half-humorous. But his voice shook.

“What I meant was… None of us. Not us, not them. None of us.”

“I guess not,” Elreth said, trying to keep her voice soft for her brother’s pain.

He shook his head and turned to finally meet her eyes. “No, El. I mean this… now… these people. We can’t know, right? We can talk about what we’ve been through. We can assume we understand. But neither of us really gets it, do we? Do you really think they grasp what we endured last year? Do we really think we understand what they’ve been through for… who knows how many years?”

Elreth shook her head. “No. No, we don’t. You’re right.” And as she thought about that—about her frustration with herself for her reactions to all this, and her anger with Zev for his… Her anger with the Creator for the fact that any of this had even happened, even her grief for her parents—and now Gar, too—things started to shift in her mind.

Turning.

Perspective.

And something clicked.

“Thank you, Gar,” she breathed a moment later, struggling to catch her breath.

“What? But I haven’t—”

“Yes, you have,” she said, blinking and turning around to look. “I’ve been praying to understand, to gain some kind of clarity and it’s been eluding me, but that… you just helped me see this differently. Thank you.” She leaned in quickly to give her brother a hug, closing her eyes just for a second when he squeezed her.

“What are you going to do?” he asked quietly, rumbling in her ear.

“Nothing. That’s the point,” Elreth said, fear and hope both fluttering in her chest. “Now,” she said as they let go and before he could jump in, “I need Aaryn. Where’d he go?”

She looked over her shoulder the bass of those booming drums now pounding in her head, right alongside her heart.

“He was backing off—he’s supposed to stay at the back, right?” Gar said, tipping his head towards the forest behind them.

“He left without saying goodbye?” Had he really? Her mate? Her endlessly thoughtful and patient mate had left her side on this day of all days, without saying goodbye?

The thought stole her breath, anger and hurt and fear twisting up her insides.

“I need to find him and talk to him quickly before—”

But it was too late.

The drums stopped without warning, and the valley was suddenly eerily quiet.

Gar grabbed her arm and she turned, looking over her shoulder, to see Zev and his entourage, walking out from under the trees on the valley’s other side.

“I think it’s time, El,” Gar breathed.

She nodded as her stomach tied itself in a knot.