Chapter 118
Elreth nodded, because he was right. It was the very things she chastised herself about every day.
But it didn’t change how she felt.
“El, I-”
“I love you, Aaryn,” she whispered, taking his face and pulling him into a kiss.
He clutched at her, holding her to him in a kiss that lacked the heat of the night before, but was saturated in the love that held them together, and had held them together through everything so far.
When they both pulled away, Elreth made herself smile. “He’s going to call you Dad and that’s... that’s going to be the hottest thing ever, Aaryn.”
Aaryn’s eyebrows shot up. “Did you just say... hot?”
.....
Elreth nodded. “You have no idea. I can’t wait.”
“You can’t wait for...?”
“For you to be even hotter.”
Aaryn snorted and Elreth made herself smile with him-because it was funny. It was also true. It wasn’t what she should have been thinking about, she knew. But it was true, and she didn’t have the energy to admit any of the other truths. So this one would have to do.
Then Aaryn sucked in a breath and his expression softened. He looked down at her stomach and placed his large, gentle hand there, flat on her belly and shook his head. “It’s... incredible,” he whispered.
Elreth’s tears threatened again, so she put her hands over his, holding it there and nodded. “Everything’s going to be different.”
Aaryn looked up at her and smiled, but his eyes were thoughtful. “Everything,” he said quietly. “And I couldn’t stand to walk through it with anyone else.”
They were both quiet, looking at her stomach then.
“When did it happen?” Aaryn asked.
Elreth snorted. “Remember that night in the bathing pools, like two weeks ago?”
Aaryn’s eyes cut up to meet hers, heat and happiness flashing in his eyes. “I remember.” But then he frowned. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
Elreth sighed. “I wasn’t sure until the day Tarkyn went missing. And like I said, I didn’t want to tell you that way.”
Aaryn’s forehead furrowed. “Wait... you knew when we were out in the forest, searching? When you challenged Zev?”
“Yes, but-”
“Elreth,” Aaryn got stern. He pushed to his feet and stood over her, his hands clenched at his sides. “You can’t do that. If you’re... this isn’t just you now. You can’t pick a fight with a male when you’re carrying a baby!”
Elreth gave him a flat look. “I’m still Queen, Aaryn. Still dominant. I can’t stop being that just because I’m going to have a baby.”
“I’m not asking you to stop ruling, I’m asking you to stop stepping into danger-you were in the prison with him and-” he cut off, his eyes going wide as he remembered, just as Elreth had, that moment when Zev pinned her and had that blade to her throat.
She’d almost blurted it out then. Would have, if she’d thought the wolf would believe her. But something had told her that the wolf was going to let her go-the Creator, or just her instincts? She didn’t know. All she knew was, when he had released her, her first thought had been that she’d almost lost another precious loved one. And if she had, it would have been her own fault.
But Aaryn was unaware of her remembered fear. His anger was flaring. “El, you should have told me.”
“I didn’t know how.”
“You tell me just like this-you never carry that on your own! Ever!” He was frantic, and Elreth shushed him, pulling him down into a kiss, whispering her apology against his lips.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she murmured, stroking his strong face, gripping him to her. “I won’t hide it again, I promise.”
“The minute you know, Elreth. Anything about our child-anything. Good or bad. You tell me. Always!”
“I will. I swear it to you,” she breathed, pleading with her eyes that he’d forgive her. “I’m sorry, Aaryn. I was overwhelmed and scared and... I’m sorry.”
He stared at her, his brows pinched over his nose. But then he looked down and stroked her belly.
“You take care of your mama, little one,” he said, suddenly stroking her stomach. “You remind her that she needs me just as much as I need her.”
Elreth gave a laughing sob and pulled him in then. And as he lowered her back to the furs and covered her with his own body, like he was afraid there was a threat then and there, kissing her like she wouldn’t be there the next day, Elreth silently prayed, thanking the Creator for her sweet, solid mate. Her strong, admirable male.
She couldn’t have gotten through all of this without him.
But instead of his kiss growing more passionate as she’d expected, Aaryn sighed and pushed up on his elbows, cupping his hands over her head and staring down at her, his face worried.
“I’m going to call Jayah to come check you.”
Elreth’s breath caught. “No, Aaryn. There’s nothing to check yet. It’s way too soon-”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yes, I do! I might still lose it, Aaryn. Please... I can’t talk to other people about this yet.”
“Jayah isn’t “other people.” She’s our healer.”
“But, she’ll know and-”
“I don’t care. Humor me.”
Elreth pushed away anger and made herself sigh instead. He stared down at her sternly, so she tried to smile. “Please, Aaryn. I don’t want you to tell anyone. Not yet.”
“What?! Elreth, they have to-”
“Soon. We’ll tell them soon. But there’s so much happening, I don’t want anyone to start questioning me. And... I want to have this with you, Aaryn. I want to share this just with you for a while. So much of our lives are public. Let’s have this thing to ourselves for a little bit.”
He stared at her, pleading. But Elreth pulled her head up to kiss him again.
“Please?”
He groaned, but as she kissed her way along his jaw and let her hands slide down his back, she could feel him soften.
“One week, El,” he grumbled. “One week. Then Jayah checks everything. Then we listen to her about who needs to know and what you can do, and everything. And we’re resting today-we aren’t even going to the market for a meal. We’re staying here and you can sleep or... whatever.”
“Okay. Fine.” Elreth let her head fall back to the pillow, but at least her smile wasn’t fake. Her mate was a wonderful male.
They stared at each other, smiling.
Then Elreth raised an eyebrow. She reached down to stroke the back of his thigh and grab his ass. “How do you define ‘Whatever’? I think it would be great to relax before we have to deal with all this crap tomorrow.”
Aaryn’s smile became heated, but then it faded. “Are you sure, El? Aren’t you tired?”
“I’m sure,” she said, pulling him down into another kiss, letting her tongue play along his.
Aaryn growled and grabbed her, rolling her over so she straddled him, but never breaking the kiss.
“As long as you’re sure,” he whispered against her lips.
Elreth had never been a giggler, but she tittered then like a child-until her mate reached between them and suddenly there was no more laughter.