Chapter 61
Meeting the uneasy gazes of his friends and his Queen and her King, Tarkyn’s resolve only strengthened.
Then Elreth rolled her shoulders back too, and met his eyes with the shine of both pride and fear in her own.
Her forehead pinched, though he could see her trying to keep her expression clear and calm, and he nodded his encouragement to her as he would have on any other day.
They were still in this together.
Elreth gripped her mate’s hand just as tightly as Tarkyn held Harth to his side. And for the first time in his life, Tarkyn wasn’t the odd member of this little conclave.
For the first time, and with a sense of unerring pride, Tarkyn stood before his dearest friends and leaders, a mated male. One of a Pair. For the first time he was not the lone male in their circle of Pairs, watching from the outside as his friends and colleagues struggled to balance their families and responsibilities.
For the first time he truly appreciating the internal battle. Suddenly, he wished he hadn’t always spoken so easily of their rights and needs in their matebonds.
He was humbled to suddenly understand how forgiving his friends had been when he had over-simplified his advice to them on this in the past.
.....
Because he now understood in a way he had never been able to before, how their guts must have tightened and twisted, tearing them in opposite directions. Because he could feel it.
And despite now sensing how this bond would complicate his life, his words to Harth were even more true.
Tarkyn was the Queen’s Captain of the Guard. He was the Defender of the People. And he was the True Mate of Harth of the Chimera-and she was his.
Whatever else their bond might achieve, however else it might function, it was present now and concrete. And Tarkyn stood before his Queen sure in the knowledge of his position, and of his mate’s. And utterly certain that the Creator had a great purpose in bringing Harth to him in this moment, and in this way.
As the room went quiet and Elreth held his gaze, Tarkyn’s chest finally eased, because he knew his path.
“Elreth,” he said quietly but firmly, “This has all happened for a reason. This isn’t an obstacle to overcome. It’s an asset to me-and to you. I’m certain of it.”
Her forehead furrowed, and for the first time in over a year, Tarkyn was reminded of her youth. Her inexperience. And her ironclad strength.
“I hope so, Tarkyn. Because this is scaring the shit of out of me.”
He nodded. He felt that in his bones. When Gar moved only to pull Rika closer, Tarkyn’s body twitched, his instincts raw and humming.
This was going to be a difficult time.
Tarkyn took a deep breath. But Elreth spoke first.
“I rely on you, Tark. I trust you. I know... I know your heart is good. But that’s what scares me so badly. I need you in this. I need your understanding and your advice... and I need to know you won’t throw everything aside because someone looks at her wrong. She is an unknown, Tarkyn. You have to see that. You can’t expect me to have the confidence in her that you have.”
“Don’t you remember though?” Tarkyn growled. “Remember when you found Aaryn and the way the elders questioned his loyalty? Questioned why he wanted to have you? Don’t you remember how hard you fought for him?” There was a pinch in his conscience about using his knowledge of her past to move her, but he had to get her to listen.
Interestingly, Elreth glanced at Aaryn then with a strange expression. He wondered if the pair had discussed that very thing already. He hoped so. Aaryn had seemed less wary of Harth from the beginning, and they needed every ally they could find-especially those among power.
Then Elreth took a deep breath and nodded at Tarkyn. “Aaryn and I spoke about that last night. I remembered how it was when we mated, and how many people questioned his motives. I’d... I’d forgotten that. I’d forgotten how hard that was, knowing how good he was and how strong, and having to watch them all fearing him. So... I understand what you’re saying Tarkyn. And you’re right. But the circumstances aren’t the same. Aaryn was one of us.” She put a hand up as Tarkyn took a breath to argue. “Don’t, I’m trying... I’m trying to say... I want us to be in this together. All of us. But please... be patient. I can’t throw aside everything I know and everything that is mine to bear to just... accept your view. I can’t. But I am considering it. All of it. And I don’t want to lose you-”
“You won’t,” he said, and the smile that crept up on him was real. “This is terrifying, El, I get it. But she’d never hurt me.”
Elreth gave him a pointed look. “Of course she won’t. But she might hurt me, or my people, or even you without meaning to-”
“No!” Harth broke in, her grip on Tarkyn’s side tightening. “No! I would never hurt him-hurting him would hurt me. And hurting you would hurt him... Can’t you see that? Doesn’t your bond do that to you?”
Elreth’s gaze flattened when she looked at Harth, but Tarkyn didn’t miss the way Aaryn’s grip on her hand tightened. A warning, or a reminder?
“You come here not only as an intruder, Harth, but as a complete unknown. Yet, you are here, party to conversations that even our citizens do not have the privilege to witness,” she snapped. “I can smell the entwining of your scents. I do not deny your bond with Tarkyn, but neither do I deny the risk you bring with you. So please... let us navigate this. Speak up when you want to provide help, to provide truth. But if you want to reassure me, you’ll have caution and try to see this from my perspective-as I am trying to see it from yours.”
Harth’s jaw flexed, but she nodded once. Tarkyn pulled her closer, sighing. But there was a flicker of hope within him, as well.