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In fact, it is not obvious on the surface, they still commute to get off work together, take time off together, eat together from time to time, and Shen Fangyu will no longer intentionally go to the living room to work, but Jiang Xu feels this way.

It's subtle.

But most of the time, Shen Fangyu was still smiling as before, joking from time to time, without any sign of alienation, making Jiang Xu want to say something but not knowing how to say it, like punching soft cotton.

"Doctor Jiang, is there something on your mind?"

Ren Miao and her parents walked beside Jiang Xu. After the chemotherapy, the little girl put on a wig. It was reckoned that the wig should be given to her by Ren Han. The shoulder-length blond hair made her look like A princess in a fairy tale.

She finished her chemotherapy and wanted to go home temporarily to recuperate, waiting for the next chemotherapy. Jiang Xu just happened to see her being discharged from the hospital and dropped by.

He didn't expect that his thoughts were already written on his face.

"I..." Jiang Xu hadn't decided what to say, but when he raised his eyes, he bumped into Shen Fangyu who came back from the inpatient department. His voice suddenly stopped. At the same time, he found that Shen Fangyu was seeing him at the same time. , the footsteps also paused, as if a little unnatural.

He even felt that the way Shen Fangyu looked at him was trying to hide again.

It's never been like this before.

He would just greet him with a big grin, and then start talking about running the train or flirting.

"Miao Miao, don't inquire about Dr. Jiang's private affairs." Ren Miao's father said from the side.

Ren Miao drooped her face, "Got it."

"It's okay." Jiang Xu lowered his gaze.

"Doctor Shen!" Ren Miao suddenly whispered in his ear.

Because of Ren Han, Ren Miao also got to know Shen Fangyu, and Dr. Shen liked to joke with them and didn't put on airs, so Ren Miao got acquainted with him very quickly.

During these days of hanging out with Ren Han, Ren Miao's character became more and more cheerful. Seeing Shen Fangyu, Ren Miao was not afraid, but greeted him enthusiastically, which was very similar to the silent girl at the beginning. It's different.

"Ren Miao?" Shen Fangyu stopped in front of them, Ren Miao's parents also nodded politely to Shen Fangyu.

"Discharged?" He asked with a smile.

Ren Miao nodded and replied, "Doctor Jiang sent me out of the hospital."

Hearing her talking about Jiang Xu, Shen Fangyu's expression was a little unnatural. In fact, since Ren Miao called him, he had been feeling Jiang Xu's eyes on him, but he didn't have the courage to turn his head to look at it. With one glance at Jiang Xu, both the conversation and the line of sight fell firmly on Ren Miao's body, as if he would be seen through by Jiang Xu if he deviated even an inch.

Unexpectedly, Jiang Xu followed Ren Miao and said, "Send them off together?"

They have now reached the gate of the inpatient department, and it is estimated that Jiang Xu will only take a few more steps. Shen Fangyu really wanted to find something to prevaricate, but he found sadly that he was too busy on weekdays to touch the ground. At this moment, I really can't find anything that I can't wait to leave.

So he had no choice but to bite the bullet and nod, and accompany Ren Miao out of the house.

Sure enough, as soon as he walked out of the inpatient department, Jiang Xu stopped in his tracks.

"Happy discharge." He said to Ren Miao.

"Doctor Jiang, can I shake your hand?" Ren Miao said suddenly.

"Of course." Jiang Xu held out his hand, "I wish you a speedy recovery."

He originally thought that Ren Miao just wanted to express his gratitude to him, until the moment he let go, he saw the twinkling eyes of the little girl.

Jiang Xu seemed to understand something.

Ren Miao was afraid of death, she might want to ask him, the person who saved her, for some strength.

He glanced at Ren Miao's parents, the two adults looked at each other, stepped back a few steps, and left space for his daughter, then Jiang Xu lowered his head, pointed to a statue on the lawn beside Ren Miao and asked her, " Do you know who she is?"

The white statue is carved with a female doctor in a white coat. She looks very old, with short hair combed neatly, and a clear and kind face.

Ren Miao shook her head, she didn't know this old doctor.

"That's Dr. Lin Qiaozhi," Jiang Xu introduced: "He is one of the founders of our obstetrics and gynecology. He is a great obstetrician and gynecologist who has saved many, many people."

He said: "Many obstetrics and gynecology patients in our hospital will ask her to bless themselves."

Ren Miao smiled: "Then she must be very busy."

Jiang Xu turned to face Dr. Lin, put his hands together and said, "I hope you will bless Ren Miao with good health and a speedy recovery."

Ren Miao's eyelashes trembled. She didn't expect Jiang Xu to pray for her. The emotion spread along her chest. After a while, she looked at the wrinkles on Dr. Lin's forehead, and slowly gave birth to a smile. A little melancholy.

She remembered an old saying: Do your best and obey the destiny.

The doctor has done what he can do, and the rest... can only be left to fate.

I don't know if he sensed Ren Miao's discouragement, but Jiang Xu suddenly said to Ren Miao: "Can I tell you a secret?"

Ren Miao's gloomy thoughts were interrupted, and he became a little interested when he heard the words, "Secret?"

Jiang Xu let out a "hmm" and lowered his eyes to the ground.

"I... am also sick. After a while, I will also need to have a very dangerous operation."

"...I don't know if I'm going to survive," he said.

Ren Miao raised her eyes in surprise.

Jiang Xu glanced at the friendly statue of Dr. Lin under the sun, and said to Ren Miao: "So let's make an agreement. When Dr. Lin's birthday is next year, we will make an appointment here and send her a bouquet of flowers together."

"Then you will live," he said, "and I will live."

After Ren Miao heard this, her eyes were a bit complicated, but if she looked carefully, she could see that the discouragement inside had disappeared, on the contrary, she had become much firmer.

"Okay." She suddenly stretched out her hand to hook Jiang Xu: "Doctor Jiang, I will come, and you must come too."

"Well," Jiang Xu said, "it's a deal."

He watched Ren Miao walk back to his parents, waved goodbye to him, and even walked a lot lighter, and was a little lost in thought for a while.

After a long while, Shen Fangyu, who had just been guarding by the side, suddenly walked up to him, and bowed seriously to Doctor Lin's statue.

"I hope you can also bless Jiang Xu's safety."

Jiang Xu came back to his senses and looked at him in surprise.

"Since you've already paid respects to Ren Miao, why don't you pay respects to yourself?" Shen Fangyu asked.

Jiang Xu turned his face away when he heard the words, and turned his gaze back to the tall and solemn statue.

"Not with you?"

"I…"

It was really overwhelming for the normally cold-faced person to suddenly let go. Shen Fangyu listened speechlessly, only feeling hairy and slightly itchy in his heart.

"I don't know what's going on with you recently," Jiang Xu pursed his lips, "but I hope we can go back to how we were before."

Shen Fangyu took a deep breath slowly, and tugged at his tie.

He thought he might not be able to go back.

He tried to put back those feelings that crossed the border, but once the feelings took root and broke through the ground, it seemed that it was futile to do anything else. Apart from not admitting and escaping, he didn't know what else he could do.

While thinking about it, Jiang Xu suddenly turned around, and said quietly to Shen Fangyu, "I want to eat tiger skin green peppers tonight."

Every time between them, Shen Fangyu invited Jiang Xu home for dinner, Jiang Xu had never said such a thing on his own initiative, Shen Fangyu was momentarily stunned.

The dish of tiger-skin green pepper was originally nothing, and he didn’t know how to cook it, but he didn’t know what went wrong. Now as long as the four words of tiger-skin green pepper were mentioned, he would think of his grandfather who asked him to cook this dish. Cook dishes for his future wife.

The inexplicable guilty conscience made him afraid to look Jiang Xu in the eyes, but Jiang Xu insisted on meeting his gaze, "Can you?" He asked again.

"How about next time," Shen Fangyu swallowed, "Tonight—"

"elder brother."

Shen Fangyu's heart skipped a beat, and the words of refusal were held back in his throat in an instant.

What did Jiang Xu call him just now?

elder brother?

The moment he realized this, Shen Fangyu felt as if ten thousand bunches of colorful fireworks were set off in his mind, crackling, and the heat almost short-circuited his brain.

Jiang Xu's gaze was very clean, without any distracting thoughts, but Shen Fangyu was dizzy from the shock of his "brother", his eyes were filled with stars, his internal organs seemed to fly out of the Milky Way, as if a sap had hit him hard. The back of his head made him numb from head to toe, and he almost forgot what his name was.

This name is actually nothing.

Who would not be so flattering in the sales of pharmaceutical agents, it is really the worst street.

But Shen Fangyu couldn't recover for a long time.

Perhaps it was because of the heart-to-heart talk at Jiang Xu's house that night, he had unintentionally told Jiang Xu that it would be great if he was an older brother.

Or maybe it's because Jiang Xu is actually half a year older than him in terms of age, and it's really hard for people to condescend to call him brother even though he is older.

Or maybe it's just because, that's Jiang Xu.

Shen Fangyu felt his heart was about to jump out.

Seeing him in a daze, Jiang Xu wrote lightly: "Then let's just say that, if you don't do it tonight, don't come back."

"Do it," Shen Fangyu said in a nonchalant way, "I will definitely do it for you."

Don't ask him to cook a dish right now, just let him run around the earth twice.

Jiang Xu glanced at him inexplicably, put his pockets in, turned and walked back to the inpatient department.

Yu Sang's book was finally reliable.

After his patience ran out and his failed attempt last time, Jiang Xueba was unconvinced for a few days, opened the book and read it twice, and almost recited the whole text, and finally let him get a little trick.

To be honest, he actually can't understand Shen Fangyu's awkwardness. If Shen Fangyu really has any opinions on him, he hopes that Shen Fangyu can speak out directly, instead of asking him to guess and test like he is now. , I have to work hard to read some emotional books to learn how to maintain a relationship.

Dr. Jiang has no shortage of friends or colleagues.

If this person wasn't Shen Fangyu, Jiang Xu thought, he would probably just follow his will and alienate him. He is so busy with work on weekdays, he really doesn't want to spend time on these things.

But for Shen Fangyu...Jiang Xu realized with a bit of gloom that he seemed a little reluctant to distance himself from him.

Give him another week's chance, Jiang Xu thought, if Shen Fangyu is still like this in another week, then he won't be reluctant to say anything.

By the time Shen Fangyu recovered from the aftershock of the "Brother", Jiang Xu had already gone far away.

Shen Fangyu watched his back disappear into the building of the inpatient department. He was still half dazed when he suddenly heard, "Brother, what are you doing here?"

It's Zhong Lan.

Shen Fangyu turned his head to look at her, and found a random reason: "Basking in the sun."

Zhong Lan joked with him: "Paid to bask in the sun? I'm going to report you to Director Cui."

She stood in front of the statue of Dr. Lin. Under the sunlight, Dr. Lin looked kindly and kind. He seemed to have no troubles and was able to tolerate everything. Zhong Lan had a smile on his lips, and the light of the sun was sprinkled on the neatly curled meatball head. And clear.

Shen Fangyu's heart brightened, and he suddenly asked, "Are you free after get off work today?"

"Ah?" Zhong Lan didn't seem to expect him to say this, "It should be, Senior Brother, what's the matter with you?"

"I want to ask you out for dinner." Shen Fangyu said.

In the restaurant with simple decoration, Shen Fangyu handed the menu to Zhong Lan, "Order whatever you want, I'll treat you."

"Senior brother is so rich," Zhong Lan said with a smile, "If this is not chasing me, then it is asking for me?"

Shen Fangyu said "Yes", "It's sort of."

Zhong Lan called the waiter over, ordered the most expensive dishes, put his hands on his chin, and teased Shen Fangyu, "Then I'm not being polite?"

Shen Fangyu raised his hand and smiled, "Please go ahead."

The two chatted about things in the hospital one after another, and after eating for a while, Zhong Lan realized, "Brother, why don't you move your chopsticks?"

Jiang Xu was still waiting for him to eat at home, Shen Fangyu paused, and prevaricated: "I'm not hungry."

Zhong Lan gave him a meaningful look, "It seems that there is really a big problem, and I can't even eat."

She speeded up her eating, and when she was almost done eating, Zhong Lan took a sip of soup, wiped her mouth with a tissue, and said to Shen Fangyu, "Tell me, brother, if there is anything I can help you with, I will definitely help you." try best."

"I just want to ask some emotional questions," Shen Fangyu said, "It may involve your privacy. If you don't want to talk, you can refuse at any time."

Zhong Lan sat up straight when she heard the words, "Emotional problems? Ask me?" She said, "Our sexual orientation may be different, so I may not be able to help you." The more she talked, the more curious she became, "Senior Brother Do you have a sweetheart?"

"There is a man," Shen Fangyu hesitated to speak for a while, "I might...I think I like him."

Zhong Lan's eyes widened, waiting for Shen Fangyu's next words.

"I just want to ask you, when you found out that you like the same sex, how did you confirm your intentions." Shen Fangyu took a deep breath, "Just...to confirm that it wasn't because of a momentary novelty, curiosity, or looking for someone of the same sex. The impulse generated by the stimulation is not because of the confusion caused by the strong possessiveness and attachment in the friendship, it is really... I like it very much."

Shen Fangyu's closest friends are all upright. One is because homosexuals are a minority group, and the other is because most **** men with clear self-awareness will keep a certain social distance from straight men, so as not to be tempted later. It's hard to end, not to mention that Shen Fangyu himself knows the reason why a straight man flirts with the base, and the sky is struck by lightning.

So much so that after thinking about it now, he realized that perhaps there was only one Zhong Lan who could have a heart-to-heart talk with him on the issue of sexual orientation.

Zhong Lan was extremely thankful that she only asked Shen Fangyu after she had eaten, otherwise she would have doubted that she would be full just by eating melons.

She tried her best to sort out the order from Shen Fangyu's somewhat obscure words, and then took two sips of tea with difficulty, and with a bit of tact, she asked in the most easy-to-understand words: "Do you want to kiss him or hug him?"

"Kiss him and hug him?" Shen Fangyu repeated Zhong Lan's words in a low voice.

He never kissed Jiang Xu.

Even in those absurd dreams, which may be projected from reality to some extent, he has no memory of kissing Jiang Xu.

want to?

I didn't think about it before, but now... Shen Fangyu was a little afraid to answer.

Zhong Lan glanced at his expression, and tentatively said: "I am happy when I think of him, I like to see him happy, I especially care about his feelings, I want to make him laugh, I want to share everything with him, I want to live forever , want to protect him for the rest of his life, hope that he has no troubles, hope that he is happy, put him first in everything, and think that he is very good in every aspect for no reason?"

"And... want to share the bed with him and do the most intimate thing?"

Shen Fangyu lowered his eyes, looked at the phone screen, and did not deny anything.

"Damn it," Zhong Lan burst out in shock, and then covered her mouth, "I'm sorry, I'm really surprised."

She has known Shen Fangyu for several years. From the time she entered a division, Shen Fangyu was her senior brother who led her to do experiments, and later in a department. Although she went to the Jiang Xu team after entering the hospital, she and Shen Fangyu have always been very close cooked.

Although she herself has always liked the same sex, but all these years, she really never thought that Shen Fangyu would come out in front of her one day.

Zhong Lan's first reaction was: "Does Brother Jiang know?"

First, she learned that the girl she had been chasing for several months was Les, and now she found out that her rival in love was actually gay... Zhong Lan always felt that Jiang Xu would be very closed if he found out.

Shen Fangyu thought for a moment that Zhong Lan had guessed something, and shook his head guiltily, "I probably don't know."

"That's good." Zhong Lan helped Fuxin, but noticed something, "Brother, why do you look so nervous?"

When mentioning Jiang Xu, Shen Fangyu seemed more nervous than when he confessed to her just now.

"I..." Shen Fangyu was at a loss as to how to explain, when the phone rang suddenly, "I'm sorry to answer the call." He breathed a sigh of relief and avoided Zhong Lan's questioning, but when he picked up the phone, he saw that the caller was actually Jiang Xu.

Before he could swallow that breath, he raised it back into his throat. Shen Fangyu's hand trembled, and he almost dropped the phone.

"Are you not at home?" Jiang Xu asked.

Shen Fangyu's fingers rested on the cell phone that was about to die, feeling a little stiff.

He sent a text message to Jiang Xu before leaving work today, saying that he would go back early in the evening to prepare dinner and make tiger skin green peppers for him, so he would not leave with him. He knew that according to Jiang Xu's habit, he would usually work overtime and come back around 8:30 It was dinner, so I made an appointment with Zhong Lan, thinking that I should make it in time, but I never expected that it was only seven o'clock, and Jiang Xu would go home.

"I went out to buy groceries." Shen Fangyu wiped the sweat from his forehead.

"You leave at six o'clock." The timer Jiang Xu said.

"There are no green peppers in the nearby vegetable market," Shen Fangyu made up, "I took a detour."

The other side was silent for a while, and said to him: "I'm in the vegetable market downstairs in the community, and the green peppers are three yuan and two a catty."

Then with a click, the phone was hung up.

Shen Fangyu dialed back in a hurry, but was hung up after calling three times in a row. He raised his eyes anxiously, and met Zhong Lan's stunned gaze.

She pointed to Shen Fangyu's cell phone, "You...that flirty friend?" She didn't hear the voice on the other side, but only from Shen Fangyu's words, she slowly deduced: "I'm living with you, and I'm still checking your post?"

As soon as she finished speaking, before Shen Fangyu could answer, a woman with exquisite makeup and high ponytail sitting at the table next to the two suddenly stood up, stepped on high heels and walked to Shen Fangyu's side. Start to **** people off:

"Is he waiting for you to eat at home, and you still have time to eat here?"

Shen Fangyu glanced at the girl who appeared out of nowhere, feeling a little dazed for a moment.

The girl didn't give him any time to be dazed, she opened her mouth like a machine gun, and without taking a breath, she covered her face and said:

"Didn't you have a lot of energy when you chased my girlfriend? Why are you so shy now that you don't know whether you like him or not? If you didn't like him, you wouldn't go out of your way to ask Lanlan out for a chat. "

"Lanlan speaks tactfully. I'm different. I'll just tell you directly. If you're like this, you're tempted. You just like him. If you're a man, don't be cowardly. There's nothing you dare not admit or face. Chase those who chase after them, those who should cook for others, don't waste time here."

"If you want me to say that what Lan Lan just said is false, the easiest way to confirm whether you really like him is to ask yourself, do you want to fall in love with him, and become each other's only lover with him? Use a relationship title to tie the two of you together, and do what lovers will do for a lifetime, you belong to him, and he belongs to you, no one can get in."

Love has been accompanied by the desire to possess the other party since its birth. No matter how selfless and unrequited it looks on the surface, it cannot conceal this.

"Lin Qian..." Zhong Lan tugged at the beautiful woman with red lips beside her, and smiled apologetically at Shen Fangyu, "I'm sorry, Senior Brother, my girlfriend heard that you asked me out for dinner, I'm afraid you still want to chase me , have to come and watch."

Shen Fangyu didn't have the heart to respond to Zhong Lan's words. He stared blankly at Zhong Lan's girlfriend. Every word Lin Qian just said hit his mind like a brick. After a burst of dizziness, the mountain in front of him Chongshuifu suddenly disappeared, revealing the village behind it.

Then the ruins crashed to the ground, and the dust dispersed, leaving behind Shen Fangyu's words:

"I think."