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Suddenly everybody, including Druoag, was looking at me. It was obvious that I was their primary pick to do the mission since it was a good chance that I was still the strongest around. Maybe my alien friend could rival me, but he probably thought that I increased my strength by building my own city, which wasn't true since Petrograd was mostly dedicated to my family and the people who we brought alongside us.

My recent score, though, was something that definitely could mark me as the most powerful. I just needed to use it.

- How the hell we will even do that? We are talking about empire spread not only among different planets but also among different worlds. We won't be just driving by, visiting cities along the road - I pointed out.

- I'm already working on this issue - The Great One said. - I spoke with Hope. This being is the only one who could observe them from a distance without taking too big of a risk of being spotted. Not to mention it has already happened once. Hopefully, soon we will have a good map of where exactly to go, and we can proceed with the plan.

Then he just disappeared, jumping back to wherever he came from.

- Fucking... - left my mouth, but I didn't finish the sentence.

- I'm the only one who thinks he wants to confront them, even if they won't spot us? - Will asked, crossing his arms on his chest.

- He is clearly on a war path. The possibility of taking revenge is clouding his mind - Druoag pointed out.

- He is fucking insane! - I shouted.

- He believes we have a good chance - my alien friend argued. - He is rational, which means he believes very strongly that we can succeed if he is doing what he is doing. I understand if you might not be willing to take the risk that has been pushed on you. This mission will be dangerous. You have a lot to lose. You have a family. I don't. I'm probably weaker than you at this point, but I'm willing to do it instead.

His offer made me speechless and angry at the same time. My rational mind couldn't just take it. If I was a better choice, it was me who should go, not him. Maybe there was also a bit of ego involved. There was also this brief feeling of adrenaline rush. I suddenly had a flashback from Aaraam'soturi. My moment of realization that I can dance on the edge once again.

- Let's talk about this later - I said after a moment of silence. - You are tired, and we all are shocked. Let's cool our minds and then come up with a plan. Better than The Great One's stupid idea of just charging at the enemies when we spotted them - I sighed.

- Cool our minds? - Will asked visibly surprised. - Who are you, and what did you do to the real Peter?

I rolled my eyes hearing that joke. Then without a word grabbed them and brought them back to my house.

We hang out a bit more in my garden, talking about everything else but the incoming conflict. You could easily hear us doing our best to avoid the topic. Clearly, we all had our thoughts, just didn't want to share them. It was simply too early for such a conversation when we already decided to 'cool our minds'.

Eventually, I took Druoag back to Loistavadvaar. He decided to stay there until The Great One wouldn't take him and the other aliens back to the Ixan empire.

Alone I thought a lot. About myself, and especially about my family. I kept asking myself the same questions over and over.

"Should I tell them? Should I leave them out of this?"

After all, somewhere out there they were safe, at least for a little bit longer if the conflict would actually take place. I also couldn't stop thinking about The Great One, and his push for this. I started to question everything, including the timing of it all.

"Maybe he knew it for a while, just decided to tell us now? Maybe he knew I went to Aaraam'soturi and collected all those crystals? Maybe he just waited for that?"

My mind was going crazy, so I decided to make myself busy so I would stop going crazy. I returned to the workshop to keep working on the golems. Not only they could be very useful for me in the future, but also the work was so complicated that I wouldn't be able to think about anything else.

There was also another reason. It was a good excuse not to go to Loistavadvaar to make myself stronger. If I did, there were no more excuses to let Druoag do what we all knew I had to take on my shoulders.

He got stronger, but my skill set was perfect for getting fast beyond enemy lines and finishing the mission. I knew it from the very beginning, just wasn't willing to admit it. I don't really know why, because the thought got me excited. Maybe I was just unwilling to accept that because I had a family now, and going with it would mean that I didn't care as much about them as I tried to pretend I did.

After all my kids weren't really mine.

With Tihana I could say it was my decision to adopt her, but Carmelita and Leonel were kinda forced upon me by Celestine.

I bet you can more and more understand me now, with this explanation. Those thoughts were so destructive that I just wanted to escape from them, and that is why I chose the work. Sadly, the hard decision still had to be made eventually. That wasn't something I could possibly escape.

Eventually, the time for possibly delaying this would end.

It was a scary vision. Scarier than the suicide mission itself. Unfortunately, sooner or later, it had to be made. Especially with The Great One in charge, who already made up his mind about the whole conflict.