BXBX NOVEL Chapter 354 It Was Him Who Betrayed Her First
If only he paid attention to her more, he would know that the servants of this house walked around her head because he rarely came home. They would disobey her and even steal her things.
But his wife could do nothing because those servants were sent by his mother, and he was too busy to notice or listen to her complain.
Meng Renshu bit his lips. The after-taste of the noodles felt bitter for some reason.
He washed the cup before throwing it away. His body was tired, but the sight of his study room caught his attention.
Meng Renshu went inside his study room to find an unkempt room with books, papers, and mugs left on top of the desk. Previously, his study room was always clean and neat, thanks to his wife, who organized the place for him. He allowed no one to enter this place except for Li Caiyi, because he couldn't trust anyone but her.
His wife was gone, and this place now resembled an animal's nest. He found no comfort working in this place anymore, so he always finished his work at the office.
Among all the papers messily scattered on top of his desk, some ripped pieces of paper were all over the place. Meng Renshu knew what that paper was, and a heavy feeling weighed again on him.
One of the pieces of paper got the word "divorce" written on top of it. It reminded him of that day when he found out that Meng Shuchun had acted on her own again.
He was enraged by his sister's willfulness and spared no time in making her study abroad just so he wouldn't need to see her face again for a while.
When Meng Renshu learned that Li Caiyi had spent a night with someone else before her death, he felt angry and betrayed. However, after he found out what Meng Shuchun had done without asking for his permission, it was like someone slapped him hard across the face.
"It was all my fault." Meng Renshu fell on his knee as he clutched the piece of paper.
Initially, he indeed had thought of divorcing Li Caiyi. However, the reason was far from what Meng Shuchun assumed.
It was because Li Caiyi always held herself back for everyone. He knew Li Caiyi hated him after he forced himself on her. Living together after that became unbearable.
No matter how much Meng Renshu tried to get closer to her, she always flinched and took some distance away from him, like he was a frightening monster that scared her. Her aversion hurt him a lot. Both on his pride and heart.
"I thought if it's her, we can spend the rest of our lives living in harmony." Meng Renshu muttered weakly. "Why didn't she trust me?"
They grew apart slowly, and Meng Renshu thought there was no point in continuing their marriage when all they did was hurting each other.
It was painful whenever he saw the rejection in her eyes whenever he tried to take a step toward her. He couldn't look at her the same way again as time went by.
It was unfair that she refused to give him a chance. It was frustrating when she never talked about her genuine feelings to him. It was painful that she hated him so much that his touch repulsed her.
In her eyes, Meng Renshu was never a man or a husband. He was just a childhood friend who had crossed the line. He felt like she blamed him with her serene gaze whenever their eyes met. It was an unbearable thought.
Meng Renshu couldn't stand that fact. He came to hate the version of himself reflected in her eyes. So he avoided looking her in the eyes.
If he didn't see, then nothing was there. No hate or condemnation.
Meng Renshu would somehow find a reason to go home late, just to avoid her. He didn't want to see the forced smile on her face whenever they went out together, so he purposefully went alone to a formal party, claiming she was sick or busy.
The distance and misunderstanding between them piled up, and he came to dislike her existence at some point.
Blinded by that momentary feeling, he grabbed a divorce paper. He wanted to liberate both of them from the pain that came from this false marriage.
Li Caiyi was a good friend, but she wasn't a suitable wife for him. He had miscalculated.
However, whenever he thought that Li Caiyi would probably find her happiness with some other man after this, he could not continue. He filled every column in the paper, but he couldn't show it to her.
Meng Renshu kept telling himself to give their marriage one more chance as he sealed the paper inside the deepest part of his bookshelves. In the end, he completely forgot about that divorce agreement.
Until Meng Shuchun found it and gave it to his wife herself.
Meng Renshu wondered what Li Caiyi felt when she received that document during her darkest days. His wife never betrayed him. It was him who betrayed her first and disappointed her.
"I'm sorry, Xiaoyi. If only I wasn't such a coward." Meng Renshu's eyes glazed with tears. He leaned his back on his desk before hugging himself into a ball. "You should have gotten angry and killed me; why would you kill yourself?"
Inside the empty and dark house, there was a sound of crying, which continued until dawn. Meng Renshu, who drowned in his self-blame and self-hate, cried himself to sleep on the cold floor.
***
A few days after that, Meng Renshu received a call from Li Junjie in the middle of his work. Meng Renshu's eyebrows were raised in a pleasant surprise.
After Li Caiyi's funeral, Li Junjie had ceased to contact him. What happened at the funeral caused an irreparable crack between the two families' ties, and they hadn't kept in touch with each other for a while.
'How could I bear to face Junjie when her sister ended up miserably because of me?' Meng Renshu bit his lips before he hesitantly accepted his call.
"Hello?"
"Renshu, I have something I want to give you. Do you have time today?"
Li Junjie didn't beat around the bush as usual. Nevertheless, his tone sounded very urgent, and it bewildered him. Meng Renshu glanced at the pile of documents on top of his desk before replying.
"No, I'm not too busy right now. I can meet you anytime you want."
"Good. Then can you meet me in the hospital right now? I'd love to meet you in other places, but my legs are tied here."
"No worries. I will head there now." Meng Renshu rose from his seat before walking out of the room, alerting his assistant.
"President, where are—"
"I have some urgent matters to do. Clear my schedule for today."
Meng Renshu didn't stop and went straight to the elevator. The assistant was surprised, but later a smile crept upon his face. It had been months since he saw the president smiling like that. Something good must have happened.
"Alright, the least I can do to support him is to make sure he can relax as much as he wants!"
The assistant pumped a fist and quickly returned to his seat to empty his boss' schedule.