BXBX NOVEL Chapter 185 - Dying To Hold
Adrian had to give Cassidy as much body warmth as she needed.
There is no time to hesitate or to be embarrassed. If he does not want her to get sick, he will have to share his warmth to her in one way or another. That being said, stripping like this will help her absorb it better than when they are both in their drenched clothes.
\'Calm down. All you need to do now is gather her in your arms again...\' Adrian told himself after getting rid of his shirt and looking back at Cassidy once more, having been left in only his pants.
\'But which side am I allowed to touch?\'
From there on, he explores her figure in all seriousness, taking a moment to think of how he will hold her without disrespecting her or causing her discomfort.
His gaze passes from one of her curves to another. It slides down her shape until it lands somewhere it does not intend to land on. He blushes madly the instant he catches sight of her underwear. Only then does he realize how lovely and ravishing she actually looks in blue.
"Stupid! Now\'s not the time for this!" Adrian bolted out exasperatedly before going back to business.
He eventually decided to wrap his arms around her waist and rest the side of her head on his shoulder. As soon as she is settled in his arms, he scoots closer to the wall and leans on it. He then proceeds to embrace her tightly, trying so hard to keep his head blank all the while.
"Your face is in flames, but your hands and feet are icy cold. Just how much did you tire yourself out? And you didn\'t even say a thing to me..." Adrian thought out loud as he grasped one of her hands and felt how it was starting to get stiff from the cold.
"But then again, I keep distancing myself. That must have bothered you."
Guilt-ridden time and again, he could only blame himself for everything that had happened.
He flutters his eyes closed and pulls her hand nearer to his lips. With a downcast expression, he then presses a soft and gentle kiss on its back. It is only a matter of seconds before he loses himself in the sensation of having her so close - it took two long years before he could hold her like this again, after all.
At that thought, Adrian can\'t help but kiss her hand more firmly, furrowing his brows together at the same time. Through it all, Cassidy remains asleep. With the lack of reaction from her, he could no longer keep himself from pouring out some of the emotions he forced to bottle up the whole time.
"Despite everything, I\'m really happy that I\'m at your side right now, Cassidy."
Adrian moved from brushing his lips against her hand over and over again to riddling his affection on her head and cheek. The gestures are filled with tender loving and caring regards. In slow succession, he plants a kiss on her forehead before doing the same to the side of her face. Her heat somehow soothes him the way he hopes his does to her, especially in the ongoing downpour and the blowing wind.
"I\'m sorry for not paying enough attention. I\'m way too caught up in maintaining my distance. I just thought that I won\'t be able to bear seeing you uncomfortable because of me. And to be honest, I don\'t want to bother you anymore..." Adrian then ended up confessing in the midst of his emotional breakdown, already getting carried away with hogging Cassidy all to himself.
"I\'m now satisfied with watching you from afar - or at least, I\'m trying to. I know I can never be satisfied with that, but I want to respect your wishes as well. I don\'t want to make you unhappy anymore. You deserve what you desire, and I deserve what I don\'t. I should suffer at least this much for all that I\'ve done. That\'s why I chose to keep my distance."
He can barely pull himself together at this point. It was just that the words kept coming the moment he said them out loud. He kept them all in for a long time as he struggled to survive each day without her. But now, he is suddenly free to acknowledge every one of those emotions.
He will let it out - at least, for this fleeting moment, he will. After this, he will go back to how he always is.
"You\'ve got no idea just how much I\'ve been dying to hold you like this, Cassidy-"
"Yeah. I have not."
Then, at that, he froze.
Out of nowhere, Adrian was cut off in the middle of his outburst. Cassidy spoke - and in such a perfectly bad timing too. Those words were the least he wanted her to hear.
However, she already heard them - loud and clear. With that, she finally opened her eyes and looked up to find him staring down at her. She almost laughs at how bamboozled he looks at that moment.
He appears like a toddler who has been caught stealing a candy.
"C-C-Cassidy?! You\'re awake?!" Adrian exclaimed in surprise and panic, blushing for what felt like the hundredth time that night.
"With how loud that shout is, I\'m fully awake now," Cassidy tried to humor him, but that did nothing to keep him from tensing up even more.
"J-Just how much have you heard? H-How long?"
"Since you started saying all that stuff about you maintaining your distance and so on and so forth-"
"Then, it\'s everything!"
Embarrassed like never before, all he could do was turn in the other direction and look away from her. He still can\'t move since he needs to continue sharing his body warmth to her. Despite how she\'s acting now, she can still be at the verge of falling ill.
"So, that\'s actually how it is, huh...?" Cassidy continued with a solemn tone, keeping her energy low to avoid draining her remaining strength.
"You did change a little, Adrian. But you\'re still you, after all."