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Chapter 187 - "Help Me To Get Sober?"



"Could you ever love me?"

It kept ringing inside his head, in his ears and it was starting to get on his nerves by then.

It was her face...trying so hard to not break down and cry her heart out right before him...but she had been stopped by her pride to not see him her weakness...her self respect.

The intensity of all kinds of emotions that her eyes were reflecting and by the strength of gravity of how much they were pulling him into it...into her.

The reason why he had been focusing to look at anything but her...her eyes and forget everything to have her back in his arms?

He could not just forget and let go of everything wrong she had done to him and try to conceal it forever in the past...it was what sickening to him.

It made him so much angry at her. To show her his rage, show how much he despised people who lied and tried to act innocent.

For all heaven and hell, she was saved by the fact she was his wife and not to mention...he fancied her, he cared for her as he had never for any woman...yet only at the end, he was rewarded with betrayal and a hole in his healing heart.

He would be a laughing stock if he went on to forget and accept her just as it was...after being the very reason he was an orphan at such a young age.

After everything, they had gone through together, with the return of his ex and almost thinking of sharing a child with her...and thankfully all of it being false at the same time because he would not know what to do with his wife...his wife, who he was very fond of.

When he had realized that she had always been there for him at his confession in Valeria's place, he was finally ready to start a family with her.

But his aunt had to reveal a past, that he had chosen to forget after being trapped in it for so long...his entire childhood mourning for his mother, not ready to accept the new life, his aunt had offered to him...to embrace the new life.

He missed the field, the trees, the birds, flowers, the all-day running and chasing around with her...her red hairs blowing in the wind as she would run to get away from him.

He missed that carefree life, where he felt the love dancing in the air, the bright sun over the head and the mango tree...he missed her as he would sit on the floor, knees close to his chest.

When Valeria described it to him, he started getting all the flashbacks right in front of his eyes...all of it, how it was...the things, the picture that he had only gotten to see in fragments, in black and white inside his head.

He smoked the last bit of the cigarette and then threw it off in the sea. The same sea, he had fucked her, promising them that everything would be better from the next time.

And it had been over a month, he had no idea how she was, where she was...clearly not wanting to admit the truth that her location kept showing in Anderson Corp. and it kept burning him in the fire of hell, all day and night.

And he had no right to stop her either or drag her back to his bed and tie her there forever, not letting her go anywhere, everywhere without him...

His insides had screamed to him that he was her husband and that he had all the right to do so, yet their marriage had felt like been over long ago.

Hiding from island to island, afraid to face the reality. He had purchased over more than ten private islands, wanting to be isolated from the very essence of life.

He had no idea, no knowledge of how to live a life without not being her husband, or having her sleeping next to him...it was all so messier than it ever had been.

The waves came over and swept all the empty glass bottles of beer off from the shore.

He had been drinking to his neck, feeding on his failed attempts at life of trying to making it better...fuck!! She had really messed up with his damn head!

He cursed out, kicking off the last bottle to the sea, out of angry, extreme furry, rage, sadness looming over his entire frame...frustration, not wanting to lose her either.

Hell!!! He had no idea what he wanted anymore either??

He wanted her out, far away from his life...but when she was to leave, he would grab her back and trap her in his arms...damnation!!

It was like that for the whole damn month. And Thea dropped in, how he had no idea. He thought or hoped for Madison to show up and bring him his wife.

Yet it never happened. Thea tried to sober him up at which she failed miserably with no effort to him.

He should have just lived in that town with her, playing the normal husband, running a small household with her.

They were happy there, life was just so simple yet his craving for glory...could it be his downfall??

"You need to get over her...she is not worth it for you to push your new company to bankruptcy, Kian Randall!"

Thea yelled at him. She had never seen him so disturbed. Was it the same when Serena had left??

She questioned herself. She would never know that. She had fled the country, the damn continent before getting a fucking heartbreak and yet when she was back...only to find him with a wife, married to an heiress, not to just anyone but a redhead beautiful one.

"She is so damn beautiful...fuck I could never score one as gorgeous as her ever..."

He muttered out as Thea tried to tuck him inside his bed after a long, tiresome struggle of dragging him to his bed-chamber from the dreadful beach.

"I had her...I had her and everyone just could not control it...fuck, everywhere I go, all of them wanted her...but she was fucking mine!!"

He kept speaking out his drunkard mind. Thea put his feet under the duvet, taking off his slippers.

"I do not even know why me?? Why she choose to stay with me?? "

He laughed out loud, thinking about it. She could for real have anyone as her humble servant, ready to dance on the command of her fucking pinky.

"Fuck!!! It is eating me up...these thoughts. She is going to put me in a lunatic asylum...fucking seductress!!"

He spat out. Thea shook her head in dismissal. She had been handling his drunk ass for a week now with no chance of improvement at all.

"My wife...!!! Fuck my wife!! Leaving under my enemy's wing for a month...fuck her!! "

He cursed out, trying to get off from the bed. Thea pulled him back. She was a thin woman, unable to hold him, a man like him, so bulky and muscular.

"Should I have believed her when she told me she loved me??"

It made Thea look back at his face. His eyes were half-closed, half-opened as he continued to speak his mind out.

"If I did, could all have been better?? Could it??"

He questioned himself, and Thea knew it was her cue to leave this man all to himself and his 'could have' or 'would have' speculations.

"Good night!"

She uttered out as she switched the lights off and left the room, closing the door. She knew that she could not handle him for long anymore.

"Fucking bitch!!"

He screamed out, getting up from the bed and limping towards the minibar to get another drink.

Thea listened to all the swears and commotion from inside, yet she did not attempt to get in and resettle him back on the bed.

In the dark, he tried to find one bottle that was not empty. And then his phone beeped, scaring him off. All the bottles fell off from the counter as he knocked them off from it.

"Fucking hell!"

He cursed out and checked the text from Madi. It was a single word text after a fucking damn month of no contact.

'EMERGENCY!'

It read and immediately his mind took him to be thinking about Tin...did something happen to her??

His heart started to beat erratically and Thea broke inside the room, afraid that he had fallen off after hearing all the glass breaking sound.

"Jesus!"

She swore, on switching the lights on. He was sitting between the glass pieces, with his phone in his hand.

"Help me to get sober?"

He requested her, looking up at her horrified face. He needed to get back to his wife finally.

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