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Volume 5, Extra 1: The Attendant of an Apprentice Blue Shrine Maiden

“Rosina, always keep your emotions hidden. Your smile must always be beautiful, your smiles must never faze. Emotions are only used to elevate your art. Play a sad tune on harspiel whenever you’re feeling down. If something beautiful captures your heart, capture it in a painting. When your soul is touched, you will express yourself with poetry. You must always look poise when you make art,” Sister Christine would constantly repeat this with a calm smile.

Sister Christine was an apprentice blue shrine girl. She was here to seek refuge from her father’s first wife, who detested her. She was a late-sleeper, even after I took my time to get dressed and make my hair after the second bell, it was almost impossible to wake her up.

“Rosina, what shall we play today?” Wilma looked away from her sleeping master to face me with a troubled smile.

The other attendants began suggesting tunes, and I chose the one that Sister Christine probably liked the most and started playing. I alternated between playing the harpsichord and the flute. The instruments I played were determined by my emotions that day. Sister Christine would always wake up after the first song finishes and would smile as she asked for another. The grey shrine maidens would dress her as she listens to the music I play from her requests.

She might have to attend lessons with a tutor at the third bell or return to her house in the Noble’s District. I frequently worked with attendants from Sister Christine’s household. While she was occupied, we cleaned her room and made requests to the gray priests on what they needed to restock. Additionally, the gray priests would bring to us the letters and documents that required her signature.

It was time for an early bath once the studying and chores were done, and lunch would be between these two. One gray priest would bring her hot water for her bath. After supper, any other visitors they received would be turned away with the excuse that Sister Christine was preparing for her sleep.

The time between preparing for sleep and going to bed was the best part of the day with Sister Christine. We kept ourselves entertained with writing poetry, making art, and playing music until Sister Christine got sleepy.

“I get enough studying from home and with the tutor. I want my time in the temple to be relaxing. Gray priests are capable of doing the chores themselves. That’s their job.” She said that gray priests were in charge of the chores, while blue priests were in charge of the temple, and blue shrine maidens and their attendants’ jobs were to create art. They only needed to enjoy their lives…

“To only see the beautiful, to listen to the beautiful. Refine your creativity. Take a look at this. Is it not beautiful?” Sister Christine would constantly repeat this as she showed us the new and unusual items she had brought back from the Noble’s District. Sheet music of all sorts of tunes, more paint and more parchment for art they could ever wish for, as well as magic tools only for the nobles filled her chambers.

…Why doesn’t Sister Myne understand the proper life of an apprentice blue shrine maiden?

Sister Myne had been appointed as a temple maiden. She had a pretty face, was cheerful and cute. But her facial expressions changed too sporadically and she didn’t move gracefully and carefully. Her manners were poor and had trouble speaking formally. She had a joy for reading but not for art. She was completely different from Sister Christine. That was why the High Priest asked me to attend Sister Myne. My experience from serving Sister Christine could translate to helping her. My job was to teach Myne, but now I was being told to do chores and chastised for playing the harspiel for reasons unknown.

“Rosina, think about your answer by tomorrow morning. Return to the orphanage or accept that serving me will be different than serving Sister Christine, what will you choose? No matter what you say, I’m not going to be Sister Christine for you.”

Sister Myne’s words shocked me but still did not understand the predicament I was in. She was definitely serious about making me return to the orphanage if she wanted my answer by tomorrow.

Sister Christine instructed me to always smile gracefully to hide my fear in my heart, but my emotions were visible with the haste with which I walked to the orphanage and knocked urgently on Wilma’s door.

“Please enter.”

When I got inside, I noticed Wilma stopped her paintings on thin boards needed for the karuta to look at me. I lost control and burst into tears the instant I saw her familiar calm smile.

“Wilma, listen to me please. You’re the only one who has served Sister Christine with me, only you can understand how I’m feeling now.”

Wilma put down her tools and moved her chair to face the bed. I moved and sat on the bed with my body facing her, I started ranting about the attendants bullying. First off, Delia insulted my harspiel playing that it was annoying because she was angry about being illiterate and couldn’t understand art. Gil was another one of them, he always sided with Delia and spoke in the most coarse. Last of which was, Fran who was always forcing me to listen to him.

“I lived as what was expected from an attendant of an apprentice blue shrine maiden, they have no experience serving an apprentice maiden but they made no effort to understand me. They don’t see that it is necessary for me to continue playing my music, talk about poetry and make beautiful paintings so Sister Myne can perform her duties as a blue shrine maiden better…”

Sister Myne didn’t need to bother herself with paperwork as the High Priest had sufficient assistance from the other blue priests like he did in the past. With regards to the orphanage, Wilma could manage the work there, and Gil and the Gilberta Company could be in charge of matters regarding the workshop and the lower city. Sister Myne did not understand that books or libraries are not needed to lead a proper life, instead she should invest herself into the arts.

“Sister Christine always said that life is only enjoyable when you understand and love the beauty from the arts. You do understand that, right Wilma?” I said, but Wilma just scrunched her thin eyebrows, her gaze made me seem like I was a troublesome child.

“I understand that dedicating oneself to the arts is enjoyable, but young children like them need sleep over music late at night. I would be bothered if you played your music late into the night when the children are trying to sleep in the orphanage.”

I blinked in surprise, I did not expect Wilma to refute me.

But why? I was in so much confusion.

Wilma placed a hand on her cheek. “Sister Christine wakes up late, but not in Sister Myne’s chambers. Everyone there wakes up as early as we do in the orphanage, right?”

I lowered my eyes, my thoughts ran back to how Delia would always knock at my door early in the morning to wake me up. It’s not proper to be walking around that early in the morning, but everyone always insisted that “We always wake up at this time in the temple”.

“Did Fran say anything about this? I’m sure that being a former attendant to the High Priest, he will always keep a neutral stance, unlike the children there.”

“Fran and Sister Myne’s trust in each other is mutual, but he is completely clueless how a blue shrine maiden and her attendants should act. He is a gray priest but he does not listen to me at all. Thinking about it, he even ordered me to do chores when he himself does not do the manual chores he is supposed to do. What an annoying man.”

It was bonkers that an attendant priest would dare order around an attendant maiden. The former’s duty was to do the manual chores while the latter supports her master with her artistic talents. Even so, Wilma seemed to be surprised at this.

“Is it not a given that Fran gives you orders, Rosina? He is Sister Myne’s head attendant, while you are an apprentice attendant who just began serving her.”

“Rosina, what part of Fran giving you orders is not right? He is Sister Myne’s head attendant, you are only an attendant who just started out.”

“But the harspiel…” I started to protest, but Wilma slowly shaking her head made me stop.

“Rosina, you have to understand that Sister Myne and Sister Christine are not the same person. You cannot harbour the same expectations on how Sister Myne should treat you.”

“…To think you would say the same thing as Sister Myne, Wilma,” I murmured in shock.

Wilma sighed. “May I ask what else Sister Myne said?”

“She told me to stop playing the harpiel after the seventh bell so that I do not disturb the others at night. She understood how much I treasured my hands for playing instruments, so she suggested that I assist her in writing rather than do the chores. Lastly, she asked me to assist Fran in looking through the financial documents of her place, the workshop and orphanage to help lessen his workload.”

All attendants knew how to read and do math, so I was able to help Fran. But work of that sort was entrusted to the gray priests. All the gray shrine maiden under Sister Christine busied themselves with painting and poetry, so I had no clue on handling business affairs. I was lacking in the math sector, so I doubt I could provide much assistance. I was just an attendant who did her job in the arts.

“If she hopes to lessen Fran’s workload, why not hire more attendants?”

“Sister Christine was a noble, but Sister Myne is not. She is a commoner, thereby she lacks sufficient money to care for ten or more attendants. Truthfully speaking, she is the sort of person who would teach the children in the orphanage to work for their fill if they wanted food.”

I was slightly dumbfounded by what Wilma said. I could never fathom the idea that an apprentice blue shrine maiden did not have sufficient funds to hire more attendants. Weren’t blue shrine maidens all about being able to get whatever they wanted?

“But even if she is a commoner, she is still a blue shrine maiden. How is it that…”

“The blue priests in the temple have five attendants, do they not? Sister Christine was just an exception.”

Sister Christine had two attendants that accompanied her from her household, six gray shrine maidens that did art with her, and the remaining four gray priests were in charge of all the heavy work and chores. There were also multiple chefs, assistants and tutors to assist her for everything. I did not know that that was not the typical standard here.

Sister Myne was a commoner, she and Sister Christine were completely different. I always assumed that her way of life was because she came from a different place. I believed that my job was to help her live a life like Sister Christine. It never occurred to me funds would impact them.

Wilma just looked at me with her lively brown eyes in silence, she sighed again, “Rosina, honey. Do you think that you lack the skills to serve Sister Myne?”

“…She asked me for an answer by tomorrow. To choose between returning to the orphanage or to accept that I will not receive the same treatment I did from Sister Christine”

“I see. Rosina, you will have to make the final call. I believe that Sister Myne will try her best to make it comfortable for you. If you cannot see yourself serving a master who has taken their time to accommodate your needs, I believe that you will struggle to serve anyone else except Sister Christine. If that is so, before you stir up more problems, it would be best for you to return to the orphanage before.”

Wilma’s words hurt me. She served Sister Christine with me so I did not expect her to be this harsh.

“Wilma… Don’t you think it is wrong for a shrine maiden to do the work of a priest?”

“No, I do not. It is the norm for shrine maidens to do the chores and work in the temple, only Sister Christine’s attendants had it different. If you had to serve other blue priests as an attendant, you would not get an instrument at all. Worst of all, you might have been made to give flowers. Do you still find serving Sister Myne unpleasant after considering all these?”

It was impossible for a gray shrine maiden to argue with a blue priest for an instrument, or for her to not offer flowers because she was educated. She would just be completely ignored. In actuality, there would be no room for negotiation as they would not allow any disagreement to happen.

…I knew that attendants were specifically trained to suit the needs of their masters, but I never took the effort to fully understand why. I just did the minimum so that I could serve a blue priest without having to go through any hardships, but it seems that I was naive.

I slowly shut my eyes as tears ran down my face. I tried to leave my current master Sister Myne because I kept reminiscing about my life with Sister Christine. I was so infatuated with turning her into a master I wanted, completely ignorant that it was me who needed to change.

Sister Myne did not need what Sister Christine did from her attendants. It was such an obvious fact but I had been too stubborn to acknowledge it. No matter who I served, I kept trying to reject everything because I could not accept that idea that I could not go back to the past.

With my eyes still shut, I recalled all the times spent with Sister Christine. The strumming of harspiels. The music we played. Those peaceful times when lovely laughter filled the room as everyone engrossed themselves with the arts. That was probably the best and most fulfilling moment of my life.

After Sister Christine returned home, I was sent back to the orphanage, and I remembered how depressed I was there. I was heartbroken about not having enough instruments, the miniscule amount of food, and my damaged hands from all the manual work. Every day, I imagined myself playing the harspiel, pretending there was music in my dim life that was deprived of anything beautiful. I prayed so badly to be able to serve a blue shrine maiden again.

…Should I learn how to do chores under Sister Myne or go back to the orphanage without a harspiel? My doubts were answered the moment I recalled how happy I had been after playing the harpiel again. The instrument’s comforting weight made me relieved and the touch of strings made me break into a smile, being able to play music again was such a blessing that I was on the verge of crying. I would choose chores over giving up a life devoid of music again.

“Wilma, I want to fill my life with as much music as possible. So I have decided to continue serving Sister Myne. I will learn to work.”

“Sister Myne will be glad to hear that you will do your best, just as she had been when she rewarded those in the orphanage who worked their hardest. I could not do much but listen to your worries, but I sincerely wish you the best.”

~~~

Since that day, I have been studying to complete paperwork as Sister Myne’s attendant whilst overcoming my apprehensions about math. Instead of continuing to wish to be Sister Christine’s attendant again, I would do my best under Sister Myne.

The first thing I discovered was that Sister Myne excelled at paperwork. Although she was so young, she was far superior to me in mathematics and far more helpful to Fran than me. The paperwork would be easier with Sister Myne around, but she was busy with the religious work, as well as her education and training as an apprentice blue shrine maiden. Fran told me to do my best so that Sister Myne could rest more.

“Rosina, please hand these to Wilma.”

“Understood.”

Sister Myne was not used to disguising her feelings and reading other people’s faces. But Fran was not like her, he could see through me and noticed whenever I was getting tired from work. During such occasions, he gave me a break by sending me on errands to the orphanage or the workshop, or by educating Sister Myne on the gods.

I put the pen and ink aside and made my way to the orphanage. It was my first visit to the orphanage since deciding to dedicate myself to becoming Sister Myne’s attendant. I owe Wilma a huge debt for encouraging me to change my own mindset rather than attempting to change Sister Myne’s.

“Is Wilma here?” I asked Lizzie, who stood by the orphanage door. She gestured into the dining hall and said that she was looking after the children who were eating.

Those in blue robes, such as Sister Myne, ate first, followed by their attendants. The food was passed to the orphanage, where it was distributed according to status: first the adults, then the baptized children, and finally the pre-baptized ones. As a result, the youngest kids were the last to eat. Although it had been a long time since I had eaten, it appeared that the children just got their share of food. Wilma sat at the back with six other children.

“Has everyone finished their meal? Now then, let us give our thanks and praises to the gods for their blessings. I offer thanks and prayers to thee, O mighty King and Queen of the eternal sky who have graced us with thousands and thousands of lives for sustenance, thee O mighty Immortal Five who look over the mortal realm, I shall grateful partake in this blessed meal,” Wilma chanted, and the young children repeated after her before digging into their food.

They all wolfed down their food, most likely because they were hungry. Wilma already had her fill, so she spent her time teaching them proper table manners and cleaning up their mess, but it appeared that looking after six children was too much on her plate.

“Food is always so good now. One of the children exclaimed, “I like this soup.”

“The vegetables are so evenly cut, Lizzie must have been the one cooking, right?” said another child.

“We get to enjoy this soup now because Sister Myne taught us the recipe. She also taught us to go to the forest to get our own food. We also get to buy the rest of the stuff we need from selling the paper she taught us to make.”

“Wilma, you keep repeating that. I’ll finish your words. ‘You all need to thank Sister Myne,’ right?” giggled the child who spoke first.

Sister Myne was responsible for allowing the pre-baptism youngsters to dine together in the dining hall rather than being confined to the cellar. She was also the one who provided all these bowls of soup on the tables on days with little divine gifts.

Sister Christine never cared for the orphanage. If she had seen the starved children in the cellar, she would have probably wrinkled her nose and walked away. She wouldn’t spare an extra second to look at anything ugly. She would never have considered helping them. Even if she had the intentions to do so she wouldn’t see it in the end.

Ever since I started changing my mindset, I saw all these good points about Sister Myne I failed to see before. I used to think that her being attached to the lower city, manning the workshop and having plans to help the orphanage were just obstructions to her lessons. Little did I realise that the orphanage and I had been saved by them.

Wilma saw me and got up to speak to me. “Oh, Rosina. How are things now?”

I smiled and passed her the boards from Fran.

“I have been busy studying all that math I used to despise so much. Also… Sister Myne said that she admired the way I poised myself with my words and actions, she also mentioned that she wishes to do her best to act like me. Did you ask her to say that, Wilma?”

“I only mentioned that you were the attendant that tended to Sister Myne the most and that you were the best role model to learn from.”

One of the strengths Myne had was her humility to ask to be taught the things she was unfamiliar with. But I was always too reluctant to ask Fran questions…

“Wilma, I have started to believe that working to overcome my shortcomings is a good thing, and I have found myself some little joys in the orphanage director’s chambers.”

“Oh my. What little joys?”

“Maybe because Sister Myne is a commoner, she knows so many lyrics and music I have never heard before.”

Sister Myne would occasionally sing a tune I had never heard before while bobbing her head to the beat. She frequently hummed or sang quietly, which made the song difficult to understand. But, much to Fran’s chagrin, whenever I heard the music, I would subconsciously stop my work to listen to it.

“Additionally, Delia might be interested in harspiels. I have seen her looking at me whenever I play.” I had till the seventh bell to play music, but Delia has been accompanying me before bed to play music. I found it repulsive that she aspired to be a concubine. But according to Myne, Delia was a dedicated attendant that always strives to do better, even though I still question the purpose of her improvement.

“I see. I am happy to know that things are going well for you. Rosina, I think your commitment to overcoming your weaknesses is admirable.’ Wilma laughed and remarked, “I’m sure Sister Christine would strive to keep your dedication to the arts.” My efforts would not be immortalized in art, but they would be in Sister Myne’s paperwork.

“I’m sorry for all the trouble, Wilma. I think I will be fine now.”