BXBX NOVEL Chapter 1055 Masks
Chapter 1055 Masks
Meng just shrugged, "There\'s nothing I can really do about it with the transport array offline. Sure we\'ve got some air purifiers, but they don\'t really change the smell of the place. We just cycle the air with the transport array a few times to clean the place out occasionally. With that down, and me not actually being a wind cultivator there isn\'t much I can do. Especially when a scent based illusion still wouldn\'t work on you because you\'re a demon with truesight,"
"Urgh, fine I guess. So what are we going to do now?" asked Kat.
"Shouldn\'t that be my question? You are the one with the power here. Are you going to tie my up? Beat my into submission? Fuck me into submission?" Kat recoiled at the suggestion, "Hey YOU\'RE the succubus not me. It\'s a perfectly reasonable guess. Imagine how Bing would feel, to come out and see her poor, ravaged mother? She\'d be devastated and scarred for life," sighed Meng.
"Then why are you advocating for it!" hissed Kat.
Meng shrugged, "Seemed like the most fun way to pass the time,"
"Well I\'m sorry but I\'m an asexual virgin so I really have no interest in having sex with someone who is barely above a stranger and certainly not my FRIENDS MARRIED PARENT" retorted Kat.
"Technically speaking, I never married the original Bang, nor the person who took his place, so I\'m not really married…" started Meng…
But Kat cut her off, "Nope, you\'ve played at being married to Fake Bang for decades. By the same argument that Bing is your kid, Fake Bang is your husband. And even if you were single, I\'m NOT. Though if you REALLY need to get your rocks off somehow you can… I dunno, go set up an orgy with Sue somehow. I\'m sure she\'d be happy to help with basically anything sexual at all,"
"I\'ll keep that in mind," said Meng with a nod. Kat really didn\'t want to know if Meng would go looking for Sue to confirm the offer.
"Right… hopefully you have that out of your system now. What are we doing?" asked Kat.
"I\'ve already said that should be MY question Kat, why don\'t you come up with the plan?" returned Meng.
"Because I don\'t really have a plan!" hissed Kat. "I\'m willing to help you, and do what I can to make sure this whole fiasco turns out… perhaps not well, but in an acceptable manner for everyone involved, including you as long as Bodeir Jr isn\'t hurt of course. What I don\'t have, is enough experience to know what we should even be aiming for. You talk about how screwed you were with all of the options well… which one is the best?"
"I don\'t know," grumbled Meng.
"How do you not know!" yelled Kat back at her face, with more than a little venom. "You had to have at least some idea that this was coming. At least a decade! Why would you expect me to have a better idea of what\'s going on Meng! I\'ve been here barely a week and I found out you were a fake MAYBE five hours ago, tops. I\'ve given you suggestions, good ones I thought, but you keep putting this off. I\'m beginning to think that you don\'t WANT help,"
Meng groaned, "Well maybe I DON\'T want help. Kat, I don\'t know what I want. No, that\'s not true. I want Bing and Feng to grow up safe, happy and healthy. I want them to perhaps look upon me fondly… but I am a child assassin. I\'m amazed I did so well raising them… but that was when I was trying to be someone else Kat. That\'s what I am to them when I sleep into the role that as Matriarch Meng. Assassin Meng has NO idea what to do. She doesn\'t have experience, the framework, or the emotional capacity to DEAL with all of this,"
"You\'re talking about her like she\'s a different person," said Kat.
"She basically IS Kat," admitted Meng with a sigh. "It\'s part of an illusion technique to take on aspects of your target. Only aspects, and technically my core values can\'t be changed… but I\'ve let down the mask now, and assassin Meng has to deal with all this bullshit now, and she\'s NOT equipped for this. I want to pretend I\'m not her, pretend I\'m Matriarch Meng for a while and figure things out that way… but then that\'s still the mask!"
"You didn\'t bring this up before," said Kat. "And it seems like it\'s something you really should have,"
Meng threw her arms up into the air, "I\'m not perfect Kat. I have the emotional range of a teaspoon like this. Part of me is surprised I still love me kids. A horrible, terrible part I don\'t want to recognise… but a cultivator is nothing if not self-aware. It\'s been a big contributor to my breakdown and recent alcoholism. The question of if I still love them… and if it will hold true when I see them for real…
"Right now? I\'m at a sort of… limbo with them. I still feel the same echoes that the mask supplied me… and in the abstract I love them both, no all three… but what about in person? What about when I gaze on my children for what is in some ways the first time? That\'s not even taking into account if it would be better to send them away from me.
"I\'ll be hunted down just for betraying the organisation… but if I get Bing and Feng far enough away and then keep running, they should be left alone. There status as twin heirs not terribly important after the sect collapses… or do I try and stick it out? Even if Bodeir Sr knows the truth, which I\'m sure he does by now, maybe I can come to a deal with him and we can let things go as they are?
"These are all options Kat, and you ask why I want you to have plan? Well Matriarch Meng never saw a reason for escape, a NEED to escape, and assassin Meng never wanted to deal with the idea in anything more than an abstract sense of \'if the sect is loss flee with the children, they are the priority objective\' now I have to actually think? And Kat, I can\'t say I\'m enjoying the experience,"
"Why are you acting like a child! Meng you are hundreds of years old!" retorted Kat.
"Because I have the emotional range of a four-year-old" shot back Meng.
Kat\'s eye twitched as she walked up to stare Meng down. Meng just starred up in defiance, until Kat open palm slapped her across the face. "Thanks I needed that," mumbled Meng as Kat turned around and sat back down. "Ok… so I\'m exaggerating a bit… but… this is terrifying for me Kat. I don\'t think you understand what taking orders for centuries does to a person. As much as I can\'t stand going back, and can\'t stand abandoning my kids… it\'s like I can\'t properly comprehend the idea of actually solving the problem, certainly not well!"
Kat paused at that for a moment. *Wait a minute…* "What are the chances that\'s a magically reinforced limitation you\'re currently fighting against and the cause of your mood swings?" offered Kat.
Meng gaped at Kat like a fish. She tried to close her jaw but it kept falling back open. Eventually she just slapped herself again. "Oh… oh fuck you\'re probably right. Damn… those bastards got me good didn\'t they? It isn\'t that I CAN\'T think about betraying them… but that I can\'t think about betraying them PROPERLY. Better for traitors to try and fail, then to just waste energy forcing compliances. I bet they can make a proper example out of people this way,"
"That certainly complicated matters," groaned Kat into her hands. "What are the chances you\'ll be forced to sabotage yourself if you\'re making a genuine effort according to my plans?"
Meng made a \'so-so\' gesture, "I\'d suspect that there\'s about an even chance either way. If I DO start sabotaging things, they\'ll either by in minor unconscious ways, or they\'ll be super obvious but I\'ll be able to fight against it. That\'s assuming that they were able to get their hooks that deep into me without noticing… it\'s… possible certainly, but that\'s more for those of lower Rank. At 4 I should be safe… maybe? I think I should be safe but that might be part of the compulsion I\'m not almost certain I\'m being subjected to. Fuck,"