He Clings to Me Every Night

He had bought fifty boxes of leek dumplings in one go, just to spend a little more time with his mother, to get more chances to look at her. In reality, he felt like he’d only blinked, and the time spent with his mother was far from enough to satisfy his yearning.

Ella Charles placed the wrapped dumplings in front of the customer, then went to make five cups of soy milk.

“I’m giving these five cups of hot soy milk to you. I’m grateful that you bought so many dumplings at once. Be careful on your way out. It’s been snowing, the roads are slippery, remember to pay attention.”

“Thank you!” Daniel’s eyes were brimming with reluctance and his deep voice slightly quivered.

“I’ve got some pickles here, would you want some? Like spicy cabbage, sour string beans, fermented radishes… all homemade. They go well with the leek dumplings.”

Daniel was touched, his eyes glistening, his nose filled with a sour sensation, “Give me all of them, thank you!”

“Don’t mention it. You are helping my business, so it’s only right that I give you some complementary dishes.”

Looking at the certificates on the wall, Daniel asked softly, “Your child is really good at studying, he didn’t give you any troubles, did he?”

Ella looked at Grace Ziegler’s certificates with satisfaction, and her lips curled into a faint smile. “She’s been doing fine. She has graduated from university and found a job. No need to worry about her any longer.”

Still not giving up, with a heart full of hope, Daniel probed further, “Ella, how many children do you have?”

Without contemplating, Ella quickly replied, “One!”

In her gentle voice, the answer felt like a sharp knife, stabbing right into Daniel’s heart. It pained him so deeply that he was at a loss for words, his pupils darkened, dull and lifeless.

His mother must have forgotten that she had another son. It must be a wound she didn’t want to touch again. Respecting her wishes, Daniel endured the pain, choosing not to identify himself and further tear her already wounded heart.

“Ella, I’m leaving now. You’re a kind person, and good things will come your way.”

The smile on Ella’s face deepened, her eyes squinted in delight, “May your words become blessings. You’re also a good person. I wish you safety on your journeys.”

Daniel nodded, then gave his mother a deep, lingering look, as if engraving every slight smile and every tiny frown of hers into his heart.

With a faint smile of relief, Daniel braved the light snow and left.

The shop was emptied, and Ella sat down, warming her hands with a hot water bag.

Ella’s smile faded, her expression became solemn and her heart filled with a surge of bitterness and sourness.

Every time when someone asked about how many children she had, she would involuntarily think of her son.

Twenty-eight years had passed, her son would be thirty years old by now. He should already have his own family. He must be doing great…

As she thought, Ella’s eyes welled up with tears, streaks of warm tears slowly rolling down her cheeks, her heart filled with helpless emotions.

If she could, she never wanted to be separated from her son. But all she could do was to pray silently for him, wishing him safety.

For all these years, she seldom watched TV and did not use the internet. She didn’t pay attention to the outside world, living as if she were separated from it. She didn’t want to know anything about the Marshall family, didn’t want to hear news of her son. This way, her heart might feel a little better.

Despite staying here for more than twenty years, she had yet to find peace.

The wound in her heart might never heal in this lifetime. She thought if she never touched it, it wouldn’t pain her. This simple life was fine, at least she had moments of happiness.

In the car, Daniel was eating the leek dumplings his mother had made, emotions overwhelming him, tears welling up in his eyes.