I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

The nickname of the \'diary owner,\' whose name hadn\'t appeared throughout the diary, was Kuro.

Note that this was a nickname, not her real name. Even Obsidian Qin couldn\'t know the diary owner\'s real name.

"Kuro never talked to anyone."

And probably no one knew.

"Weren\'t you in the same group?"

"Yes, she was in our group because she was Japanese like us. But she always followed at the back, never actively trying to do anything or join in."

"......"

In layman\'s terms, she was an outcast. An outsider.

You know how, even on a school trip, there\'s always that one kid? While the other kids form a tight group following the teacher, this kid stays at the very back, asserting, \'Don\'t worry about me, I\'m just enjoying the scenery.\' 

Kuro was exactly that type.

Life as an outcast became much harsher after the end of the world than before.

In this era, social skills were not just a \'nice to have\' trait; they were directly linked to human survival.

"If she was such a loner, she wouldn\'t have been treated well in the group, right?"

"Exactly. She just stood by and watched when fighting the monsters. I remember she wasn\'t even included in the distribution of spoils given by the fairies."

"......"

"But we didn\'t kick her out of the group. She didn\'t cause any trouble. Frankly speaking, we thought that if monsters attacked from the rear, Kuro would be the first to be sacrificed."

"She was just a pawn, a sacrificial lamb?"

"To be honest, yes."

...That image was completely different from what I had felt while reading the diary.

In the diary, Kuro, though twisted, at least seemed to carry her weight in the group.

Moreover, as the entries progressed, there were hints that her power had grown. It was said she could fend off the centaur tribe\'s attack alone.

Were all those testimonies lies? Was the diary I picked up just the delusions of a lonely person?

"However... Thinking back after hearing from you, Undateikeo, there were some odd things."

"Any detail, no matter how small, is fine. Feel free to speak."

Obsidian Qin furrowed her brow, as if searching through faded memories.

"Kuro slept a lot."

I blinked.

"Sleep?"

"Yes, sleep. You know how everyone stays alert because monsters can appear anytime, right? But Kuro was strangely calm when she slept, despite being nervous when awake."

"......"

"And this might sound strange, but every day she slept, her arm became more hairy. Yes, just like in the photo you showed, Undateikeo."

The Monkey\'s Paw.

Humans who draw power from anomalies become more like them.

If someone relied on the Monkey\'s Paw, they would eventually degenerate into a form similar to a monkey.

"When hair suddenly appeared on her arm, we were alarmed. We thought it might be a mysterious disease or curse. So we subdued Kuro and searched her belongings."

"What was in her backpack?"

"...A monster\'s hand, a normal notebook, and some snacks. We naturally tried to confiscate the hand, but."

But we couldn\'t.

"When we tried to take it, the hand went wild with tremendous strength. Several people in our group were knocked out instantly."

"Huh."

"Fortunately, no one was seriously injured. But in the commotion, Kuro escaped. The monster\'s hand seemed to follow her. We were bewildered and unnerved... so we let her disappear."

"You never reunited with Kuro?"

"No."

Obsidian Qin looked down at the photo on the table.

"I was curious about what happened to her, but now she has turned into such a hairy creature. It must have been a curse of some sort."

"......"

I talked with Obsidian Qin about various things until evening and then parted ways.

Just before leaving the shrine, I asked Obsidian Qin, who came out to see me off.

"Oh, one last thing."

"Yes?"

"Did a large number of Japanese people die at the start when you ran the tutorial dungeon in Jeju Island? Like, about 16 people near the dungeon entrance?"

Obsidian Qin shook his head.

"No, nothing like that happened. Our group had a high survival rate."

"I see. Thank you."

"No problem. Take care."

I quietly descended the shrine\'s steps.

Now then.

What is the truth of the incident?

The Monkey\'s Paw definitely did something. Trusting Obsidian Qin\'s testimony, it was clear that the diary didn\'t depict reality as it was.

"Hmm."

I wrote a small sentence on the back of the diary.

[Old Man Scho is a fool].

And when I moved to the next cycle, I picked up the same diary at Seongsan Ilchulbong.

When I opened the pages, I couldn\'t find the words [Old Man Scho is a fool].

"――Ah."

Only then did I realize the way the Monkey\'s Paw granted wishes, the nature of this diary, and the truth about the \'False Regressor.\'

The answer was simple.

"This is a \'dream diary,\' Dok-seo."

Dok-seo blinked.

"A... dream diary?"

"Yes. You\'ve heard of it, right? It\'s written for psychological counseling purposes or to experience lucid dreaming. Anyway, this item is a \'notebook recording what happened in dreams.\'"

"I\'ve heard of it... What? Then everything written in this notebook is just fantasies that happened in dreams?"

"Something like that."

I picked up the notebook and flipped through it.

"Didn\'t you notice anything strange?"

"Strange?"

"Yes. The diary claims time repeats infinitely from the 5th day. But somehow, this diary alone \'maintains its contents without being affected by the regression.\'"

"......! Ah! Ah!"

"So you noticed."

I smiled.

"Items like my cane-sword Do-hwa or the logout game\'s laptop I gave you, those are special items that maintain their form through regression. Naturally, if real regression happens, the diary\'s contents should reset. But the diary continued."

"Then is the diary like those special items you have, something that persists through regression...?"

"That was a possibility, but I tested it myself, and it wasn\'t."

[Old Man Scho is a fool].

The sentence I wrote as a test was neatly gone in the next cycle.

In the end, this diary was nothing special. Just an ordinary notebook.

"So the conclusion is simple. Someone dreaming about repeated regression wrote this diary."

"Ah... Wait, but then, didn\'t the Monkey\'s Paw deceive Kuro by pretending to grant her wish?"

Dok-seo snatched the notebook from my hand and opened to the part titled 《Day 4》.

1. Please don\'t create any side effects for my wishes.

2. Remove the limit on the number of wishes. If removing the limit is impossible, pretend this wish wasn\'t made.

3. Give me luck. Prevent any \'accidental misfortunes\' from befalling me, like getting hit by a falling rock.

"Here. This."

Dok-seo pressed her finger on the first wish.

"Look carefully. She clearly wished for no side effects from her wish."

"She did."

"But if the Monkey\'s Paw just showed her a dream where she was a max-luck regressor, but in reality, she remained a powerless outcast, wouldn\'t that be fraud?"

I smiled.

"Dok-seo, you lack sensitivity to anomalies."

"What? What nonsense?"

"Think deeply about the Monkey\'s Paw. It\'s not a \'wish-granting being\' in the first place. It\'s a \'side-effect-creating being.\' That\'s the Monkey\'s Paw."

Humans always want benefits without losses.

In other words, they have no conscience.

The anomaly says, \'In all things, if there\'s an advantage, there\'s also a disadvantage.\'

If you gain something, you must lose something.

\'Luck and misfortune are equal in total.\'

This is the principle the Monkey\'s Paw adheres to.

"In that sense, the name [Monkey\'s Paw] doesn\'t reflect its essence well. It should be called [Pros and Cons] or [Total Luck Law]."

"The Total Luck Law..."

Dok-seo muttered blankly.

I nodded.

Total Luck Law.

That was the real name of this anomaly.

"The Total Luck Law works like this. First, a person wishes for \'luck.\' Then the anomaly judges the same amount of \'misfortune\' to balance it."

"Ah...?"

In short, the Monkey\'s Paw is like a merchant\'s hand exchanging luck and misfortune.

"One day, a customer suddenly demanded free luck. That was Kuro. Now, how would the merchant, who has been running a smooth business, feel?"

"...What kind of brat is this?"

"Exactly. It\'s troublesome."

Of course, the anomaly doesn\'t feel \'trouble.\'

But \'errors\' occur.

When a situation against its essence is forced, the anomaly will find a way to correct the error.

The Total Luck Law was no different.

"Therefore."

I took out a pen.

Scribble, scribble.

I drew an arrow next to the 《4th Day》 in the diary and added my interpretation on the blank page.

"The Total Luck Law had no choice but to twist Kuro\'s wish. Like this."

1. Please don\'t create any side effects for my wishes.

→

(1) Any luck must be matched by equivalent misfortune. This is what Kuro called \'side effects.\'

(2) If there are no hidden aspects or side effects, there is no luck. Kuro\'s wish is essentially not to wish

 for any luck.

(3) Therefore, Kuro made no wishes in this reality. Her wishes are granted \'elsewhere.\'

(4) In \'elsewhere,\' the Total Luck Law need not apply. Kuro can enjoy nearly infinite luck there.

(5) Since the luck enjoyed there doesn\'t need misfortune, Kuro in reality faces no misfortune.

(6) Kuro in reality has neither luck nor misfortune. Thus, her wish for no hidden aspects or side effects is granted.

Dok-seo\'s jaw dropped.

"No way..."

"Do you understand now?"

"No side effects... Ah, even the most pleasant dreams don\'t cause side effects in reality... Wow, really. anomalies shouldn\'t be used lightly..."

I was satisfied with Dok-seo\'s muttering. I had hoped she would realize that valuable lesson from the beginning.

"The problem doesn\'t end here. The second wish also brought tremendous aftermath."

2. Remove the limit on the number of wishes. If removing the limit is impossible, pretend this wish wasn\'t made.

I tapped the second wish with my pen.

"This removed the Monkey\'s Paw\'s restrictions."

"Removed the restrictions?"

"As you know, the Monkey\'s Paw allows only three wish-misfortune exchanges. It\'s a sort of rule. But Kuro asked for the restriction to be removed."

Kuro probably thought she was being clever, inserting a loophole for her benefit.

But the \'side effect\' she was so wary of was realized in a completely different way.

"This ultimately freed the Total Luck Law anomaly from its chains."

"...What do you mean?"

"This."

2. Remove the limit on the number of wishes. If removing the limit is impossible, pretend this wish wasn\'t made.

→

(1) A human\'s wish is essentially \'luck.\'

(2) Removing the limit on the number of wishes means removing the limit on \'accumulating luck.\'

(3) Luck and misfortune must always maintain an equal total.

(4) Therefore, if the limit on luck is removed, the limit on misfortune must also be removed. From now on, humans must exchange unlimited amounts of luck-misfortune, beyond just three times.

Dok-seo froze.

"What? What? Whaaat...?"

"Focus on Kuro\'s wish, Dok-seo. If she had wished for [removing the limit only for me], there wouldn\'t have been a major side effect."

But Kuro made one crucial mistake, whether consciously or unconsciously.

"Kuro asked for the [removal of the limit on wishes] itself from the Monkey\'s Paw."

"So...?"

"So, the second wish applied to all humanity, not just Kuro. You and I are not exceptions. If we take more \'luck\' than necessary, equivalent \'misfortune\' will follow."

"Eeeeeeeek?"

Dok-seo screamed.

"We, us too?"

"Yes."

"Why!"

"Because Kuro, an unknown regressor, wished for it from the Monkey\'s Paw."

"God, what a nuisance!"

"A complete nuisance."

That\'s right.

Though we took a long detour, the crux of this story was simple.

-Why doesn\'t the Undertaker hoard \'lucky opportunities\' like protagonists in other stories?

Now, the answer is revealed to you.

The reason is simple. This world already has an anomaly called \'Total Luck Law\' as its foundation.

"Haven\'t you felt it? Even though we have two lucky regressors and Noh Do-hwa, a workaholic, forming the National Road Management Corps, even though the situation is improving, inexplicable misfortunes keep happening."

"Huh. Could it be?"

"It\'s because of the Total Luck Law. In this world, trying to freeload brings immediate catastrophic consequences."

"Aaaaargh! Ugh! Aaaaargh! What kind of cursed game is this!"

Dok-seo wailed.

In short, in our world, \'hoarding lucky opportunities\' is impossible by law.

For someone like Dok-seo, who considers herself the protagonist of the world, it was utterly despairing.

I took a sip of my now cold Café au Lait. It tasted good even cold.

"Well, don\'t worry too much."

As an experienced regressor, I always had countermeasures against the Total Luck Law.

In fact, I was grateful for this anomaly. It was quite useful in many ways.

"How can I not worry... Wait! I ate the Ten Legs steak earlier! Does that mean I\'ll face equivalent misfortune now? What did you feed me, old man!"

But that is another story.

We\'ll save that tale for another chapter.

There is an epilogue.

After discovering that the vast unconscious realm of humanity housed \'Dreams within Dreams,\' \'Bad Endings,\' and \'Parallel Worlds,\' I often delved into the unconscious world.

The purpose was simple. Regularly cleaning humanity\'s unconscious storage so people could always have sweet dreams.

"Hmm?"

"Groan... Groan..."

Thus, while I was beating Old Man Scho\'s bad ending today, I sensed a strange presence from the south of the Korean Peninsula.

After finishing with Old Man Scho, I headed south.

The southern coast of Korea. There, Seongsan Ilchulbong stood tall, as if a giant version had been copied and pasted from reality.

"......"

Thud, thud—

At the height comparable to Everest, \'someone\' was rolling something down.

It was a human head.

That someone had long black hair. Her hair was so long that her face was obscured.

Thud, thud, thud—

She kept piling heads beside her and rolling them down towards the crater of Seongsan Ilchulbong, expressionlessly. Meaninglessly.

Like a reversed Sisyphus.

Suddenly, I thought.

3. Give me luck. Prevent any \'accidental misfortunes\' from befalling me, like getting hit by a falling rock.

Kuro wished to eliminate all accidental misfortunes.

How did the Monkey\'s Paw interpret that wish?

Would it not be concerned with \'inevitable misfortune\' instead of \'accidental misfortune\'?

Despite numerous myths and anecdotes warning of human arrogance, people still think lightly, \'If I change the form of the wish, I can still use the anomaly.\'

Why be satisfied with just three wishes?

Why not ask for infinite wishes?

If it were me, I would have used the anomaly more wisely.

Even if <Kuro\'s Tale> remains a legend among humans, future descendants will still approach another Monkey\'s Paw, thinking, \'I could have used it better.\'

Hubris.

That might have been the inevitable misfortune given to Kuro.

I turned my back and walked away from the southern sea.

Thud, thud, thud—

Today, too, in someone\'s dream, a girl would be rolling severed heads.

Footnotes:

Join our discord at https://dsc.gg/wetried