BXBX NOVEL Chapter 224: 222: I Fear Losing You More Than Anyone Else!
Chapter 224: 222: I Fear Losing You More Than Anyone Else!
She stared straight at him.
Hoping to get an answer from him.
But.
Ji Baijian said, “Without a twenty percent certainty, I won’t tell you for now.”
Song Zhizhi bit her lip.
Sometimes, she really hated Ji Baijian.
She didn’t know why he always kept things from her.
And it made her feel, somewhat uncomfortable.
Even, somewhat disheartened.
Ji Baijian said again, “Song Zhizhi.”
He called her name very seriously.
“But I can tell you very surely, our enemy is the same. ” Ji Baijian said clearly.
As if to say, we are on the same side.
So, there’s no need to be afraid of him.
So, she could trust him unconditionally.
In the end, was Ji Baijian too confident, or was she simply too suspicious.
It seemed very difficult for her to come to an agreement with him.
Wei Ziming said Ji Baijian wasn’t simple, Wei Ziming said Ji Baijian was suspicious.
She admitted, everything Wei Ziming said was right.
Just because she liked Ji Baijian, just because Ji Baijian had saved her life many times, she chose to stand by Ji Baijian’s side.
But all the circumstances made it appears so remarkable, Ji Baijian, this man, always swinging in the balance between good and evil, and she was unable to tell the difference anymore.
The silent space became very quiet in an instant.
They were clearly a married couple.
They should be the closest two people in the world, but at this moment, they became somewhat strange due to their own aspirations and interests.
Song Zhizhi didn’t know whether they would truly become strangers one day.
Both were silent for a long time.
Ji Baijian said, “My Lady.”
Once, he had called her “Miss Song.”
Just now, in such a serious situation, he called her “Song Zhizhi.”
At this moment. He called her “My Lady.”
Her heart stirred.
She seemed to be easily influenced by Ji Baijian’s emotions.
She looked up.
“Come here.” He called her.
His voice, as always, magnetic and deep.
Song Zhizhi stared at him intently.
“If you don’t come here, I will come there.” Ji Baijian•s tone was light, but he didn’t seem to be joking.
Song Zhizhi thought.
Perhaps, for a long time, for a very long time, she would be under Ji Baijian’s control, and her every move would be influenced by his every frown and smile.
She got up, walked towards Ji Baijian, to the side of his bed.
He reached out and held her hand.
Both of their hands were covered in scars.
Ji Baijian suddenly put the back of her hand to his lips.
She could feel the touch of his lips, inexplicably gentle, inexplicably warm.
Her heartbeat would still flutter as a result.
But she became indifferent, and she said, “Ji Baijian, are you afraid of losing me?”
Ji Baijian’s body seemed to stiffen a bit.
Song Zhizhi said, “Even when I clearly knew that you were suspicious, I kept telling myself that you love me, that you would never hurt me, and that you would protect my family! Who you really are, a good person or a bad person, I always told myself that it didn’t matter. I was always making excuses for you, no matter how inscrutable you were to me, no matter what others say about you, I always persuade myself you are good to me, you wouldn’t scheme against me, wouldn’t take advantage of me, wouldn’t harm me.”
Ji Baijian held her hand tight, gradually increasing his grip.
“After all, my fear of losing you is overwhelming.” Song Zhizhi’s eyes turned a bit red, due to the pain in her heart.
However, Ji Baijian seemed oblivious to her conflict, her sorrow, her despair.
She said, “I’ve never hidden anything from you, including my rebirth, my family being framed, and my initial intention to get close to you. As for who you truly are, I only know what you’re willing to show me. Those parts you don’t want me to see, I know nothing about.”
“I was once terribly hurt by Yi Wenhan, I don’t want to go through the same again.” Song Zhizhi said, her eyes getting redder as she spoke, “I thought after my rebirth, it would be hard for me to fall for someone again, or to trust someone so unconditionally! I admit, my trust in you isn’t pure, but I’ve been trying! I’ve been trying hard to be with you, to overcome my past experiences and give myself entirely to you. I even thought that if one day you betray me like Yi Wenhan did, it would be my own fault. If there’s a repercussion, I have no one else to blame but myself!”
Song Zhizhi choked up.
She never thought that after going through so much, she would fall head over heels in love with a man, to the point of losing herself.
She said, “I don’t know why but I like you so much. The moment I found out something was wrong with you in M Country, I was sure that my feelings for you have grown deep, so deep that I might not be able to fall for another person in this lifetime, and now…”
Song Zhizhi kept talking.
She kept talking.
And Ji Baijian stayed silent all along.
“And now, I have to learn to restrain myself, to not fall for you anymore!” “There’s no need to restrain.” Suddenly, Ji Baijian pulled her into his arms fiercely.
He pulled her in so hard she stumbled into him.
It probably hurt her chest when she crashed into him, but he held her tight, as if afraid she would leave him.
“I won’t let you leave me, not in this lifetime!” Ji Baijian said decisively.
But how,
How can I believe you?
How can I trust that you love me just as much as I love you?
“Everything I did…” Ji Baijian said into her ear, “is because I’m afraid of losing you!”
Song Zhizhi closed her eyes and let her tears fall.
“You may not believe me, you may not love me as much right now, you may suspect me, but… don’t leave me.” Ji Baijian held her even tighter, “No one fears losing you more than I do!”
She clutched onto his clothes.
“It’s very difficult for me to fall for someone, and I’ve liked you, for a long, long time.” Ji Baijian’s soft voice echoed in her ears, like a spell repeating over and over.
What does it mean… to have liked me, for a long, long time?
The hospital room was so quiet,
It’S as if sadness was flowing in the air, mixed with a hint of happiness.
Luo Xiaolang didn’t understand.
She couldn’t comprehend the emotions between a man and a woman, and probably would never understand.
She stood up and left the hospital room.
When did she begin to develop slight emotions, and start to find herself out of place in such an environment, and start to care about others’ feelings?
She wondered if as time went on, she would change in different ways.
At the entrance of the hospital room,
Luo Xiaolang saw Wei Ziming.
Wei Ziming had accompanied Song Shan here.
It was already past 11 0’clock at night.
Song Shan usually went to bed early.
“Are they asleep?” Seeing Luo Xiaolang standing at the door, Song Shan asked softly.
Luo Xiaolang shook her head. Song Shan peered inside through the door, Wei Ziming followed his gaze.
Wei Ziming pressed his lips together.
To Song Zhizhi, his words were probably just words.
He seemed indifferent.
Song Shan knocked on the door.
The two figures intertwined inside finally parted.
The atmosphere seemed to ease a bit at that moment.
With many things, all she could do was wait.
No matter how much she wanted to know the outcome, her capabilities fell short!
But she was clear, she wouldn’t give up easily until she truly understood Ji Baijian.
From her previous life, she never truly learned a lesson!
She raised her eyes to see her father, slightly surprised, “Dad, how come you’re here this late?”
Song Shan went over, smiling kindly, “I should have come earlier, but a lot of things came up. I just got off work, and came straight here.”
“Why are you just getting off work now?” Song Zhizhi checked the time and said with a touch of annoyance.
“Had to deal with some issues about Commercial Management.”
“Is it the matter about patching loopholes in the S Country?” Song Zhizhi asked.
“Somewhat like that.” Song Shan did not wish to elaborate further, so he changed the topic, “I just came to see how Baijian is doing. I was shocked to hear that Baijian was buried beneath the ruins, so I came to see how things were.”
“I’m doing well, thank you for your concern, dad.” Ji Baijian, always well-mannered, showed great respect towards his elders.
“As long as you’re fine, that’s all that matters.” Song Shan kept repeating with a sigh, “Be careful when you go out in the future. Recently, I’ve been feeling uneasy as if something bad was about to happen. When Zhizhi went to Beixia Country last time, her life was hanging by a thread. This time when you went to M Country, the same happened again. I have no idea what’s wrong with our family lately. It’s so worrying that I have trouble sleeping.”
“Don’t worry, dad, it was all just accidents,” Song Zhizhi comforted.
She didn’t want to tell him too much about these so-called “accidents.”
Her father was old and she didn’t want him to know about too many awful things. She was afraid he would worry even more.
With a helpless smile, Song Shan said, “Anyway, be more careful in the future. Once I am less busy, I will go and burn some incense to pray for blessings. May the heavens protect us.” Unable to hold back her laughter, Song Zhizhi said, “Dad, you believe in this?”
“It helps put my mind at ease.” Song Zhizhi nodded, “Then I will accompany you once you’re done with your work.”
“Okay,” Song Shan agreed.
The father and daughter didn’t chat for long.
Song Zhizhi made her father leave.
It was late and her father was used to going to bed early. He had probably been more tense lately due to the increased pressure.
She walked her father to his car and watched him leave before slowly heading back to the hospital room, lost in thought.
Ji Baijian was lying in the hospital bed.
Song Zhizhi leaned closer.
Luo Xiaolang had fallen asleep in the accompanying bed on the side. After turning off the light and switching on the night lamp, the room suddenly darkened and became unusually quiet.
“Ji Baijian.” In the darkness, Song Zhizhi suddenly spoke.
“Hmm.”
“I’m returning to work at Commercial Management tomorrow,” said Song Zhizhi.
Ji Baijian did not reply.
“I will help my dad,” Song Zhizhi buried her head into his arms, “I always feel like I owe him a lot in this life.”
Having experienced the loss in her past life, she cherished family relationships even more.
“Okay,” Ji Baijian nodded.
After that, they didn’t say much to each other.
The night deepened.
The next day.
Song Zhizhi left the hospital room early.
When she left, Ji Baijian was still asleep. She carefully asked Luo Xiaolang to leave with her.
As she had to go home to change, she had to leave quite early.
Once she left, Ji Baijian slowly opened his eyes.
It was easy to wake him.
Watching Song Zhizhi’s retreating figure, he slowly closed his eyes again.
Song Zhizhi left in the car.
Xiaolang drove.
After thinking for a while, Song Zhizhi called Yin Qin.
It was very early in the morning, so Yin Qin was rather annoyed.
He roared into the phone, “Song Zhizhi, do you know it’s easy to get struck by lightning for disturbing someone’s dreams?”
“Did you decide that?” Song Zhizhi was speechless.
“Is Ji Baijian about to die!”
“You’re the one about to die!” Song Zhizhi replied irritably. Every time I talk to Yin Qin, it makes my blood boil.
“What’s gotten into you?”
“I have something to do today and can’t be at the hospital with him. He hurt his foot and can’t do much on his own; could you help me look after him?”
“So now you’re thinking of me? When you two were canoodling, you completely forgot about me, a lonely soul…” Yin Qin rambled on.
Listening to him made Song Zhizhi’s ears feel raw.
She couldn’t resist pulling the phone away from her ear.
After what seemed like an eternity, she put it back.
Yin Qin was still talking, “Let me make it clear, Song Zhizhi. My relationship with Ji Baijian is the deepest of friendships. Ji Baijian has been dependent on me since we were kids. You see, even after all these years, he’s closer to me than he is to his brother. Don’t assume that just because you’re married to Ji Baijian and have his favor that you’re all he cares about! No, I can assure you, in Ji Baijian’s heart, I will always come first…”
“Yin Qin, you may not like Ji Baixin, ” Song Zhizhi couldn’t listen anymore and suddenly interrupted him.
“Really?” Yin Qin seemed easily thrown off his game. ‘You noticed that, huh! I have always said I could never fall for a woman like Ji Baixin. What’s so special about her looks or figure? She’s just above average. And her temper is awful; I, the great Yin Qin, could never fall for that kind of woman…”
‘You’re in love with Ji Baijian,” Song Zhizhi concluded.
The line went silent.
The next second, “Song Zhizhi, are you out of your mind…”
Song Zhizhi hung up.
She rubbed her sore ears.
She couldn’t understand how Yin Qin could have such boundless energy.
Like a cockroach that can’t be killed, always resilient, never knowing fatigue.
No matter how much they are beaten down, they face it with positivity and bounce back quickly.
And she suddenly felt, Ji Baixin might regret losing Yin Qin.
Her eyes flickered.
Emotions, that’s other people’s business.
Moreover, she’s a mess herself!
She’s in no position to give advice to others.
Her eyes glanced casually out of the window.
What will the future hold?
She could only take it, step by step.
And she had no room for regret.
Hosnital
Yan Jin was checking Ji Baijian’s injuries in his hospital room.
Ji Baijian asked, “Uncle Yan, when can I be discharged?”
“You can be discharged anytime you want.” Yan Jin said, “These are just superficial wounds. The hospital would only administer anti-inflammatory drips and change your bandages frequently.”
“Then please proceed with my discharge immediately.”
Yan Jin looked at Ji Baijian, nodded, and then said gravely, “Baijian, you’re not a superhero.” Ji Baijian was taken aback.
“Since I’ve known you, your injuries have never stopped. I know young people heal fast, but many injuries leave lasting damage. Luckily, this time they’re all superficial wounds that will heal with care. It’S not like the last time when you were directly hurt in the heart. Do you know that you had to have a heart bypass surgery? Don’t push yourself too hard,” Yan Jin was very serious.
Ji Baijian nodded, “I know. Life is precious, and I cherish mine.”
“I don’t see you cherishing it at all,” Yan Jin said unequivocally.
Ji Baijian didn’t say more.
At least, he would start caring from now on.
Yan Jin didn’t say anything more either. He gave him a medical advice. “Now, your left shin is fractured. You absolutely can’t walk, otherwise you could end up with serious complications. Remember this. Also, the wound that Yan Zhen dressed for you on your chest is showing signs of infection. I’ve treated it now, but if it gets infected again, I’ll have to operate. And another very important thing.”
Ji Baijian seemed indifferent.
Yan Jin continued seriously, “I heard you just got married.” Ji Baijian’s usually stern face seemed to soften a bit.
‘You must abstain from any sexual activity.”
Ji Baijian looked at him.
“It’s no use staring at me,” Yan Jin said, quite frankly, “All the wounds on your body are saying that you can’t engage in intensive physical activity right now. The energy expended during sex is not any less than running 5000 meters. I don’t want the next time I come to your bed to be to declare you dead.”
Ji Baijian’s face turned grim.
“Also, take your heart condition seriously,” Yan Jin said, “Don’t neglect it..”