Chapter 343: Blood's No Bond
Argrave nodded without much consideration, his mind wandering elsewhere. His royal guards and Galamon stood behind him, watching and waiting.
“I’ve sent out those royal decrees to Whitefields demanding Rovostar’s head. In addition, I helped news of the Order’s declaration get into… certain people’s hands,” Elenore stepped in front of Argrave, perhaps hoping to get his attention better. “Perhaps once Vera and Hegazar return, we can take a more personal hand in retrieving Duke Enrico, provided he is not returned already.”
Argrave considered that, looking up. As he did, he failed to notice Elenore’s gaze settle upon someone behind him.
“Rovostar’s A-rank. Hegazar’s illusions won’t help much, and—” Argrave paused as he felt a presence near. He thought it was Galamon, but when he turned he spotted Orion.
“Elenore,” the prince greeted her first. “It’s… I cannot describe how warm it makes me feel to see you walk once again.”
Elenore nodded and crossed her arms and said nothing in response.
Orion’s eyes fell upon the Shadowlander. “You should have asked me to help, brother. You’ve asked so little of me…”
Argrave looked at Orion squarely. Despite his grief, he’d shown himself to be stable—the prince had not harmed anyone in the time they’d been here, and his emotional outbursts improved day by day. That said… the man himself did not look good. His eyes were sunken and dark, and he looked… ill, frankly. Argrave wasn’t sure Orion could get ill, so he must have felt truly terrible to look this bad.
“I haven’t needed your energy. Well, not until now,” Argrave said, dismissing his thoughts. “Leopold is bringing along some people from Relize—architects. But I think I’ll need your help, too.” As the laborers bearing the Shadowlander grew near, Argrave lightly shepherded the two of them out of the way, and his royal guard moved with him. “You’ll have to work fast and hard. This needs to get done before everyone else arrives.”
“Well… certainly, I can help.” Orion contributed with a strangely dull brightness.
“On that note, I’ve just remembered I need to take care of something,” Elenore said stoically. “Please, excuse me.”
Though Elenore spoke kindly, her haste to leave was all too obvious… to Argrave, at least. Orion seemed totally ignorant that Elenore did not want to be around him.
“So, this matter… I’m excited to help,” Orion nodded. “Where is Lady Anneliese?”
“She’s been helping Elenore with scouting things out—keeping track of armies and such,” Argrave said dismissively. “Just helping get a timeframe for us to prepare everything for this summit. This is a big event, and a lot rides on it. But as for that thing… come on, let’s walk.”
When Argrave finished talking, he watched Orion briefly when he didn’t move. The man rubbed his eyes and blinked rapidly.
“Are you alright?” Argrave asked, confused.
Orion fixed his gray eyes upon him. He only now noticed they were bloodshot. “These nights… sleep does not grace me.”
“Why?” Argrave pressed. He grabbed Orion’s arm and moved him forward, and the two set off down the Royal Road.
“Noise. The wind. I never knew it was so loud,” Orion looked out across the city as they walked down. “Up atop the mountain, the wind rages especially hard. Yet even then it does not drown my thoughts as I hoped it to. Without the others speaking to me, my thoughts are all I hear anymore. They are a dreadful sound.” Orion shuddered. “Have you ever… had trouble sleeping?”
Argrave slowed his pace to talk better, keeping his eyes on the steep, partially damaged path as he repeated, “Trouble sleeping? All the time. I just have to do something to occupy my mind until I’m tired enough I have to sleep, usually.”
“And if that doesn’t work, what else could I do?” Orion pressed.
Argrave frowned. “…it always has worked, I’m afraid.”
“Ah.” Orion nodded, his unkempt black hair blowing about in the wind.
“What are you thinking about?” Argrave asked curiously.
“I don’t know who I am, anymore,” Orion said heavily. “And without the buzzing voices of the deceivers… without some larger purpose… it’s all I can think about. I think of my actions, of what I did and what I should do, and of the family that left me—both my deceivers and my blood. These damnable thoughts are more persistent than starving rats near a granary, and I hate it,” he finished venomously, clenching his hands into tight fists. “It’s worse than having their whispers pollute my mind. I thought the rot was gone, but it persists in a different form. I don’t know what to do anymore.”
Argrave took a deep breath, not knowing what to say for a few tense moments. He lightly suggested, “I think Boarmask gave you some sound advice regarding what to do. In all your dealings, just ask, ‘how would I like to be treated in their position?’ I don’t think you can err too far if you heed that advice.”
“I think… you and I, our situation… it’s not so different,” Orion noted, gaze fixed to the road. “I’ve had months to come to terms with the Argrave I knew being replaced, months of explanation from Vasquer, and months to parse through what you did with my half-brother’s body. But one thing defies my comprehension: how did you… keep moving? How did you handle your awakening?”
They finally came near the city, and Argrave pointed off to the side as they worked to their direction. “I didn’t. I kept my head down and kept moving, striving to get what I wanted.” Argrave shrugged.
Orion looked frustrated, and he put his hand to the back of his head and asked, “How do you know what you want?”
Argrave stopped briefly. “Don’t you enjoy certain things?”
“All I enjoyed has turned to poison in my mind. All I’ve ever done…” Orion stepped away, searching for words. “I was but a vessel to another’s will. Though I loathe it now, I never felt more alive then.”
“But you went south, disillusioned with Felipe,” Argrave pointed out. “You met Boarmask. You met Vasquer. You defied your father, and you kept this city whole. Didn’t you do that because you wanted to?”
“If I truly wanted this, why do I feel so empty?” Orion asked.
“Invert the problem,” Galamon said.
Orion and Argrave both looked to him.
“If you don’t know what you want…” Galamon continued. “Think about what you don’t want. Work from there.”
Argrave nodded slowly. “He’s right, come to think of it. The whole reason I set out to stop Gerechtigkeit was because I didn’t fancy dying. Along the way, things just sort of… fell into place.” He set back along the road, walking a bit closer to Orion. “I’m going to posit two things. Maybe you agree, maybe you don’t. One: I think a lot of that emptiness is stemming from Levin and Felipe’s death.”
Orion’s face twisted, and he looked away. “…I heard people celebrating father’s death. Heard people suggest that he was actually that foul creature Traugott summoned, his true form revealed to stop you from taking his kingdom.”
Argrave nodded slowly. “I think all you can do is nothing, at least about that. You might not believe me, but those feelings will fade as time passes. I think the fact you feel empty right now is evidence that you aren’t. If you really were empty, I don’t think you’d care. Empty people don’t feel empty, they just are. At least, that’s my reasoning. Can’t speak from experience.”
The prince closed his eyes as they walked through the street. Argrave realized only now that a great deal of the people watched them. He seemed to have built up some good will in the city. Ideally, that’d be maintained for a long while.
“Without something guiding me… I can’t see the point of any of this,” Orion shook his head.
Argrave laughed, though he felt somewhat guilty for doing so. Orion looked at him, bewildered. Eventually, he stopped laughing, grabbed his brother’s shoulder and said, “That’s the most normal thing you’ve ever said, Orion. Nobody sees the point. They search for it. Where they find it… that varies. There’s no wrong answer, necessarily. And I think I’d be doing you a disservice if I told you what I think the point is, because the whole idea is that it’s your point.” He looked up to the sky for a moment and muttered, “You’ve made me get all philosophical. I don’t like doing that.”
“My head is even more disturbed,” Orion walked along with him, arms crossed. “But… you said you had two things to say?”
“That’s right. I just think there might actually be something you do want to do. And that’s because you’d already been doing it.” Argrave tapped his shoulder, then led him along, saying, “Come on.”
Argrave led Orion quickly through the last bit of the street, heading for a familiar place. It had been sorely changed since last they were here. Argrave supposed he had to count himself lucky that it was not buried beneath the falling rubble of the Dragon Palace, being as it was located at the base of the mountain.
“Vasquer…!” Orion realized, stepping forth away from Argrave’s side. “Gods, how could I have been so stupid?”
“You were injured, and had a lot on your mind,” Argrave reminded him, stepping after. “Still do have a lot on your mind, it seems. It’s perfectly understandable.” Argrave looked at the partially destroyed gentleman’s club where a stone staircase was plainly visible. Some men stood guard—Elenore’s. Argrave stepped closer. “This summit, the capstone for this war… it’s the grand culmination of a lot of different things. I’ve already conversed with Vasquer about how she can help out. Do you want to?”
Orion looked back, then nodded. “I do.”
“And what’s more… do you want to see her free?” Argrave smiled.
“You’ve made your point,” Orion stepped towards the staircase. “I only wish you’d come to me, forced me to realize what I was forgetting.”
Argrave kept smiling, swallowing his thoughts—namely, that he was too afraid to approach Orion. Strangely, even though Orion had lost none of his ability… Argrave did not hesitate much in taking the next step forward. The giant man that’d gone up against the Plague Jester, the Shadowlander, and all manner of abominations seemed a little more approachable than he had before. Argrave sincerely hoped this was a lasting trend.
“Clearing a path large enough for her will be a bit complex—the Dragon Palace is above, and the last thing we need now is some sort of cave-in. That’s why we need the architects,” Argrave began, following Orion along. “But there are some things I know we can take care of now…”