BXBX NOVEL Chapter 80
A pair of clear, gleaming eyes stared at me wordlessly for a long time, and then she jumped into the room. She still wears a tight-fitting nocturnal outfit, but this time it’s a very beautiful sapphire-blue color embroidered with brocade – she even has a pair sapphire earrings no bigger than a fingernail on – and she’s apparently put on makeup, defining her good looks. Her bright light immediately brought dimness into the room, the lantern flame extinguishing in accordance to her presence.
I can’t help but feel this peculiar. “Your Royal Highness? Why are you here?”
The Princess stared at me until her gaze was starting to make me uncomfortable, then she smiled brilliantly. “For a small matter. Came to see you while I was.”
She was extremely close to me after she stood up, still having to raise her head to meet my eyes despite not being much shorter than me. Under the light, her apricot-shaped face is white as a cloud, and her rippling eyes caring a bit of an affectionate undertone, slightly alarming me. I unconsciously take a step back. “It’s very dangerous for you to remain in the Central Plains, Princess. Why have you not returned to your country? If an official discovers you, this lowly one would not be able to help you out.”
She places a hand at the sword on her waist, lips forming a smirk. “If I want to restore my country, how could I not be aware that heads will roll?”
My heart stirs. “What was your ultimate purpose in coming, Princess?”
She let go of her sword, gears in her mind turning. “Can… Sir Zhang sell to me? I came here to buy a load of army food…”
“This place has been disturbed by a flood with starving people across all spaces, where could you buy food…?” I half-said it when I realized, and a portion of hot anger rushed to the crown of my head.
Seeing that I’d seen her expression, the Princess nodded.
These inhumane beasts!
For what reason is there food in a disaster area being sold in secret?
Granted that there’s even any food, it should be being speculated here. More than would be able to be ‘exported’ would of course be the batch of food those that wanted noble titles donated. Who would’ve known that my enlisted financial aid that had yet to physically arrive would be gouged by cinereous vultures and hunting dogs that had smelled the news long ago?
“Is it Lu Liang or Guo Zhengtong?” My face darkens, voice chilly towards her.
She shook her head. “I haven’t finished my business and can’t say. Even if I had, I still have to maintain trust.”
My expression isn’t very nice to look at, but she has her standpoint.
The Princess surveyed me for a short period of time, then advanced forward a step, saying softly, “The Central Plains is now the land of right and wrong… Sir Zhang. Even if you’re a high talent, some things just cannot be redeemed. Why waste your strength? Wouldn’t it be better to come to my country? You… are my savior. You would definitely not be wronged.”
With how long I’ve known her, this iron-blooded Miss Princess is showing a seldom-seen tender and hesitant expression. Could it be… I take another step back: this ancient iron lady, towards me…
No, no, emotional debt is the kind I can’t bear the most.
Moreover, with my current physical and spiritual condition, this isn’t very suitable for me regardless of gender. Jinzi is the one I’ve set upon and I can’t allow more. Stepping on two boats simultaneously really isn’t my specialty…
Suddenly thinking of Jinzi seems to send a stab of pain in my heart. For a moment in this late night, I find the red sleeves and gloomy makeup hard to bear. Any man would yearn for a chance encounter with a woman; unfortunately, she’s met me, which is really casting a pearl into the darkness.
I cooled my expression and said mildly, “Many thanks for your kindness, Princess, but this lowly one must disappoint.”
The Princess stared, voice startled. “Sir Zhang, do you understand my meaning? My father is gone, and I am the most respected of my people, with no senior. So long as you’re willing to use your talents to help me recover my country, my people won’t obstruct us just because you’re a foreigner.”
She’s a young lady from an ethnic minority, after all. If she was a Han woman, she wouldn’t be so candid.
I shake my head, smiling lightly.
She looked at me with some bewilderment that penetrated through her always-stalwart black eyes, adding a bit of a childish nature onto it. It calls to my mind a young deer jumping in the morning mist between the trees.
“Oh.” She suddenly came to her own understanding. “Are you worried I’ve had no time to recuperate? You don’t need to. After that Shao’s big army left, my country has nearly recovered. From the initial attack on our country, having a great amount of forces for little gain, he couldn’t keep the large forces there, and only left a small garrison. They’re not difficult to handle at all, not to mention that you all haven’t had the time to check in on them…” She looks quite a bit confident, and quite a bit sincere.
My heart softens up from the sudden naive and honest expression she has. Looking at her gentle, I explain, “I have someone I’m fond of.”
“Eh?” She didn’t seem to understand, raising her head to look at me.
“There’s someone I like, though he’s currently… not at my side… there won’t be anyone aside from him.”
The Princess stared blankly at me, apparently finding my words very difficult to understand. I control my breathing, waiting to witness the process of a delicate flower turning a tragic white.
It’s merciless to be given a rejection message like this from the one you like, but then you can speedily cut off your attachment. I recall once experiencing that myself. It seemed like the whole world was devoid of hope in that moment; all the sleepless nights I’d spent thinking about it, all my nervousness and longing, instantly became completely devalued currency, and my application to migrate to heaven is eternally signed with a rejection… then I say to myself: never, ever, ever, will I do this again…
However, in hindsight, I recovered at the fastest rate and got on with my life, seeking and supporting my happiness and helplessness… thinking then that the one who had callously rejected me was in fact a gentle person.
It’s impossible not to injure and be injured as a person living on this Earth.
What did I do next at the time time? I used all the willpower I had to squeeze out a smile, supporting it all the way until I got home, locked myself in the bathroom, and cried. It was very likely summer vacation, the period of the passionate and juvenile feelings of a young girl…
It naturally wouldn’t be the same if it was now. I simply won’t take the initiative to confess to anyone nowadays, as I don’t have the courage and enthusiasm I had long ago, and I’m not so easily hurt.
What will happen when the mature and strong Princess has that courage and enthusiasm?
She abruptly smiles, and splendidly. “Sir Zhang truly is passionate and loyal, a true man of indomitable spirit and no schemes for riches, and different from the fickle boys of the world to be able to be blind to this foreigner.”
She nods and continues, “I truly haven’t erred in my judgement.”
Her eyes were determined, looking as if she could die a hundred deaths with no regrets.
I just look startled.
The Princess’s expression, and the dejected one I had predicted, are very much not the same. Humans are humans, in the end; generalizations can’t apply to different people, and she’s different from me. The strong optimism of her fighting spirit is greater than mine, and she attaches more importance to the concept of ‘gaining’.
The matter of not getting what she wants is something she’s unaccustomed to. I was also unaccustomed to it once before, so I can understand.
However, I was somewhat frustrated because of her present strength and fighting spirit, and didn’t speak up.
I didn’t know if it was on purpose, but the Princess became a bit relaxed and lively, tilting her head to the side as she spoke. “Do you still have the token I gave you?”
I nod, reaching to my waist to draw it out and show her. She seems very glad that I’m wearing it, her smile containing a hint of demure young lady. “Please keep it well. It may help you one day in urgency.”
Thinking it over, I reply, “This lowly one believes that he should ask the Princess to take it back. Keeping it here… may stir up some big trouble.”
The token is dead and the person is alive. If she wants to help me, she can do so without it, as keeping this thing on me seems to only be an invitation to turn me into a felon one day as evidence of treason with an enemy. I don’t want to be the bad guy of a wuxia novel.
The Princess’s face changed. “This item… is very important.”
I felt awkward for a time.
Apparently, in addition to children and animals, I don’t have much of a method for dealing with women. Especially women who like me.
The Princess sighed. “I will never take back what I’ve given. It isn’t long until the sky darkens; I will leave.”
She turned and walked quickly to the window as soon as she’d finished speaking, as if truly afraid I’d return it to her. After walking to it and pushing it open, she turned halfway back with a smile. “Zhang… you never asked me what my name was.”
I stare, my scalp tingling. Can this girl’s maiden name just be casually asked for? Especially since the other part is a noble Princess. Is this really not taboo for ethnic minorities?
I take a deep breath, not batting an eyelid, and cupped my hands in courtesy. “I wouldn’t dare, please enlighten me…”
She smiled brightly. “My name is too long. You won’t remember it. It means Bright Red Clouds on the Horizon. My Han language teacher gave me the Han name of Ruoxia.”
“Princess Ruoxia.” I slightly bow.
After a final smile, she leapt out the window, merging into the boundless dim night.
A slight aroma lingers on. I stand distracted, still brimming with a sense of unreality: ah, a night visit by a beautiful woman, both attractive and noble. A broken bridge of classical wuxia novels. Why is the target a person like me?
I no longer give it more thought. Lu Liang will come tomorrow. This case is no small matter. The right and the wrong, the loyal and the treacherous, countless lives, and even the present condition of the dynasty; all are weakening and strengthening power, all connected by a tiny thread, and enough to have me repeatedly concentrate all my energy on coping with it.
I lay in bed, compelling myself to fall asleep, and compelling myself not to think about Jinzi. Following repeated failures, I gave up and move on to compelling myself to start thinking about the present affairs, and think about Prince Liang’s behavior and intentions; then think of Zhou Zizhu’s probable standpoint and reaction, and how he’d be able to help me; then envision a probable occurrence, and think up countermeasures that might be useful for it…
Without my realizing, the light in the sky turned faintly white. There started to be movement outside; footsteps, tables and chairs being moved, faraway coughing, what occasionally sounds like someone talking, and even the aromas of unknown food started to waft in as the smoke and fire of the world gradually came back, so different from the nighttime. The morning has a bit of chilliness and I don’t want to get up, subconsciously wrapping myself tighter in the thin quilt and shrinking into the covers…
Ruoxia means “like red clouds”. We’re halfway done, now.