Chapter 81
Translator: FusionX
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No one present was foolish enough to not understand what the word “lover” meant.
Not me, not Adriana, and not Adele.
We all inevitably grasped what that word implied.
The immediate impression, naturally, was surprise, but on the other hand, it seemed Adele was rather enjoying this situation.
The faint smile on her lips was exactly the expression she showed when she was playing a prank.“Lover… that would mean.”
“In other words, a fiancée, I suppose. I don’t know why such a rumor is circulating, but to my subordinates, Robert and I seemed that close.
Wasn’t lover a closer relationship than friends?”
“Hah, it’s just a rumor. I don’t think they really thought that way.”
Her question seemed desperate, so I laughed softly as our eyes met and let out a small sigh.
Adele had clearly said that to tease Adriana.
If I took Adele’s side in this situation, it was obvious Adriana would be flustered, so I gently grasped her hand that was holding the trembling teacup.
When the warmth of my hand touched hers, Adriana, who had calmed down a bit, exhaled lightly.
I thought it wasn’t something to react to this extent, but…
I suppose it would be surprising to have the title of lover attached to someone you have feelings for.
It was probably a natural reaction, and something I could call my karma.
“She’s just saying it as a joke. You don’t need to mind it.”
“Right? It’s not true, right?”
“How long has it been since my engagement was broken off? She’s not someone with no thoughts like that.”
Adriana seemed to think that statement made sense, as she frowned slightly while looking at Adele.
Of course, from Adele’s perspective, it wasn’t a lie.
Since she heard it from her adjutants, she must have heard it from somewhere too.
Even with Adriana’s gaze on her, Adele just smiled carelessly.
As if it didn’t matter either way, Adele shrugged her shoulders at me and opened her mouth.
“Well, it’s just a rumor. But what I wanted to say is that I’m not treating Robert like an object. You know how I think of Robert, don’t you?”
“…I do know. I also heard about the communication from the North.”
Was it about when I was injured?
Even if Adele treated me a bit lightly, I didn’t criticize her for it because that’s just how she was.
Rather than treating someone like an object, this way of treating me could be considered a closer relationship, couldn’t it?
So I just let it be, but Adriana just misunderstood it a bit deeply.
As I slowly explained, her expression gradually softened.
Eventually, Adriana, who smiled slightly, let go of my hand and opened her lips.
“I think I misunderstood a bit, but… it’s a bit uncomfortable to hear you talk to Robert like that.”
“I’ll be careful. I’ll keep that in mind in front of the saint.”
When Adele said that, Adriana also smiled brightly at her and slowly got up from her seat.
“Then I think you two can talk now. Since the purpose of us coming out to greet you together has ended, I’ll go in first. Ah, you don’t have to follow me out. There’s a priest waiting in front.”
“Will you be alright?”
“It’s fine, and it’s been a while since Robert saw the Grand Duchess too. We’ll be together tomorrow anyway.”
Adele laughed at the emphasis on the words “together tomorrow”, but Adriana just bowed her head towards us and walked away like that.
Her steps leaving without hesitation seemed quite light.
I swallowed drily for a moment, looking at the door that closed with a thud.
I was busy just dealing with Adele, but if Adriana acted like this too…
It felt like my head was starting to throb for no reason.
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“You went a bit too far.”
After Adriana disappeared into the room, I spoke to Adele who was silently looking at that spot.
I thought she would refute Adriana’s words, but to think she would blurt out such a thing.
It was troublesome for me in many ways too.
When did Lothos hear about that?
Even if he had noticed, I deliberately tried to be careful in case Adele heard.
“You’re the one who went too far. You even wrote a letter telling me to come out alone on purpose, but you were sticking with the saint like that. I thought you would know to some extent why I was coming.”
“…I had no choice. We’ve always been like that while staying in the South.”
Adele, who stared at me for a moment, then sat down laughing with a snort.
She probably separated me like this to ask about the contents of the letter.
Although I had prepared to some extent, now that I was actually facing her, I was honestly nervous.
Adele was still the same.
Not only her personality, but her appearance hadn’t changed at all since I left the North.
In fact, how much could she have changed in just 2 weeks?
But these past few days had been busy for me in many ways.
It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that 2 weeks felt like 2 months to me.
Adele, who had been stroking her snow-white hair, just looked at me silently like that.
She might have been choosing the words to say.
What I wrote in the letter wasn’t just one or two things, but issues that required deep thought.
“…When I see you.”
When her red lips moved, Adele’s eyes couldn’t meet mine directly.
She looked a bit confused.
Overlapping something with me, but at the same time, unable to have confidence in it.
Adele, who was like that, quietly added while stroking her forehead.
“I don’t know what to say to you.”
“I don’t mind whatever you say. Sometimes, you can even get angry and I’ll accept it.”
“Why would I get angry at someone who hasn’t done anything wrong? No, I can’t say you haven’t done anything wrong.”
Maybe now it was okay to look me in the eye, as her blue eyes curved gently.
But the shaking was still there.
What was she thinking?
What did she come all the way here to say to me, from that barren wilderness?
After looking into my eyes for a moment, Adele opened her mouth like that.
“You’ve made people confused, so it’s a sin. And that too, to the Grand Duchess who protects the North. Do you have any idea how big of a sin this is?”
“Is it because of the letter I left?”
“Yes, because of that, strange memories came back to me.”
The word “memories” always elicited a response from me.
If I had to pick the most unusual thing about this round, wouldn’t it be the memories?
Theresa also recalled all the memories of the previous rounds, and Adriana also mentioned my previous rounds through a dream.
Didn’t Adele say something similar too?
Something that had never happened before, but was clearly happening in this 101st life.
As my eyes became serious, Adele, who adjusted her posture, stared at me quietly.
If it was her, she had probably noticed that I already knew about the “memories”.
But I didn’t want to say it first.
I wanted to hear it first, because if I talked too much about the memories, she might become confused.
“…I have memories of meeting you 2 years ago.”
The moment I heard those words, what came to mind was the memory of when I first saw Adele in all my lives.
When I had abandoned the name Taylor and ran away.
Adele looked at me curiously as I laughed at the fact that I recalled that time.
“You were probably crying. Begging to be saved, asking to be taken away.”
“How do you know that? You’ve never been like this to me.”
“Please continue talking for now.”
It was too early to answer how I knew.
It was too soon to explain my regression with just this level of memory.
When I urged her to continue the story, Adele frowned for a moment and began to speak with a sigh.
Her words didn’t continue for very long.
To begin with, the memory she recalled was short, and it was too fragmentary to be called a single life.
However, the emotions in that memory seemed to be definitely influencing her.
The way she looked at me had changed. I wasn’t dull enough to not realize that.
“Is that the end of the memory?”
“Yes, the last thing was what happened in the forest where I was with you before.”
She didn’t seem to remember the death.
She didn’t remember the warning I had given her, nor the words I had spoken to stop her from going.
It would be fortunate if she was just hiding it, but at this point, it didn’t seem like Adele would hide anything from me.
Her eyes gazing at me, who had been silent for a while, shone with peculiarity.
They were eyes that held a question.
It was a natural reaction since I had supplemented and explained her memory.
After staring at me for a while, Adele opened her mouth with a serious expression.
“So now an explanation is needed. How do you know about this memory, and why did you warn me about the Crown Prince’s death in the letter you wrote to me? I don’t understand anything at all.”
“I thought you would ask me if you read my letter. That’s why I wasn’t particularly surprised that you came.”
“…I hope you don’t just brush it off as a secret this time. If you do, I think I’ll be very disappointed in you.”
When I laughed at those words, Adele glared at me with a frown.
From the moment I wrote the letter, I had no intention of hiding it.
If she didn’t just have questions but came to me, I was going to tell her about my secret.
I couldn’t tell her about all my 100 regressions.
To begin with, wouldn’t it take a long time to talk about this 101st life?
However, the time I spent with her, even if I said it was the happiest out of all my lives, it wouldn’t be an exaggeration.
So I could explain it to her.
“The reason I know the Grand Duchess’s memory is because I was there. Didn’t you say it? That you saw me.”
“But as far as I remember, last winter was the first time you came to the North. Even if I don’t remember-”
“It’s not a memory from this life.”
Adele’s movement stopped.
Maybe she needed time to understand my words, as she asked quietly after staring at me.
“What?”
“It’s a memory from a time that only I remember, that the Grand Duchess can’t remember. So it’s natural that I know that memory, and that the Grand Duchess didn’t know.”
A strange emotion bloomed.
It seemed to be because it was the first time I talked about my previous rounds myself.
Because it was a memory and emotion that I had always remembered alone, that only I had possessed.
I had many thoughts about how she would react to this.
Would she see me as a strange person?
Perhaps, would she think it was my nonsense?
But it didn’t matter.
As long as she listened, as long as even one person recalled this memory that only I had remembered.
That was enough.
I took a breath for a moment and opened my mouth like that.
The momentary silence felt like an eternity to me, and it felt like my voice opening to Adele had disappeared for a while.
Nevertheless, the words were spoken.
Words that may be irreversible, in this timeline of the 101st round.
Words that would surely change many things.
“This isn’t my first life.”
It was only after starting the 101st life that I could finally utter it.
“Longer than the Grand Duchess thinks, much longer. I have been watching.”
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