BXBX NOVEL Chapter 157 – For My Sake
Chapter 157 - For My Sake
We can’t fight.
That’s why Sadiz’s answer was that she couldn’t stop it.
“…… uh… ugh…”
The appearance of Sadis leaking sobs also tightened my heart.
If I hadn’t endured it, I might have burst into tears as well.
“…… Little man…”
“Yeah.”
“Then, Little man… no longer…… from now on…… doesn’t intend to go back… is that what you mean?”
The question is, “Are you ever coming back home again?”
Certainly, when I ran away from the Imperial City, I was like, “I’m never going back. “
So maybe that’s the case.
“…… Well…”
Because when I met Sadiz again, I thought about graduating from Sadiz, but I didn’t think about going back to the Imperial City.
And when I think about it again…
“At least at this point… I don’t feel like going home, I don’t want to go home, I don’t have a reason to go home… right now…… I don’t feel like showing my face to the people in the Imperial City…”
I’m not angry about Sadiz.
I’m convinced that it’s unavoidable.
On the other hand, what of the people of the Imperial City who bombarded me with abusive miscellaneous words?
Well, they saw me use the Great Demon King’s technique, hitting my hero father, and brushing off the princess’ hand.
Them criticizing me might be inevitable, but I wasn’t motivated to just let it slide when it came to the people of the Imperial City.
“Well, won’t you ever come home?”
“…… but, the technique of the Great Demon King I used… that is…”
“It’s not just the use of the technique of the Great Demon King… you hitting your father… or anything else that I disagree with.”
“Huh…?”
At least for now, it’s not the place where I, the son of the Hero, would return to.
The “reason” for rejecting the Imperial City itself is different from the disagreement with Sadiz.
“Master, Madam! The princess and the others… they’re really worried about Little man! At least…… at least once…… just to talk…”
Father…… mother…… the last two people I saw…
――Your father, your mother, and Sadiz love you from the bottom of our hearts! Believe me! We’re a family!
I punched my father in the face when he said that to me at the graduation match.
―― Hey, wait, Earth!
I came this far without ever looking back at my mother, who found me in Cantidan and desperately chased after me.
Certainly, I could say that I’ve been running away emotionally, too.
Like Sadiz, we’ve had our share of misunderstandings, and maybe if I explained it, my father and mother might accept me.
But now…
“If I ever go back… at that time…”
“That time?”
“When I’m more …… confident in…… myself, that’s when…”
Otherwise, things will end up being the same. I don’t want that.
“I came out here after hitting my father… I can’t do this half-heartedly… I have to be good enough to say, ‘Look at me now, you bastard.’… or I’ll just be a hero’s son… just born into a hero’s house… I want that much confidence and achievement.”
I haven’t achieved anything yet, and I want to be more… than I am now…
“Confidence? Achievement? Didn’t Little man become stronger? You also won in the tournament against some of the best! Even though I lost my memory, I have seen with my own eyes how much bloody effort Little man has put in here in Cacretale!”
Sure, I worked hard and got my first win.
But compared to the feats of father and mother…
“Yeah, I’m happy and proud of my win. But… it’s just a challenge, it’s not the goal…”
“Huh!? ………”
At that moment, Sadiz’s eyes became sharp again.
“Yes… is that what the Great Demon King told you?”
“Eh?”
“The Little man I knew ‘before’… would be more…… festive… is the reason why you are so stoic and ambitious… because the Great Demon King told you so and Little man was influenced by him?”
I was at a loss for words, but it was true.
Maybe I wouldn’t have thought like this when I was in the Empire.
As Sadiz said, I’d be festive…
“… what do … what, that is! I’m… I!”
And Sadiz yelled again, but immediately kept her head down in depression…
“Me… the Master, Madam, and Little man… I love spending time with just the four of us… I’m happy… I want to get those days back again… I don’t want to lose you… I’ll definitely bring Little man home… that’s all I think about… thinking for Little man? No…… I…… I only thought about making myself happy…”
“Sadiz…”
“Why!? Why is the Great Demon King… the Great Demon King… for Little man… giving advice that can help Little man grow…… accurate guidance that can make the Little man stronger… why…… didn’t I…… do that? Why… I didn’t realize the anguish of Little man… until I was cornered… I should have… why, could the Great Demon King do it…”
At the same time as sadness, Sadiz was gritting her teeth with some regret.
“What’s the best… what’s good for him… what he needs… not as the Son of the Hero… as Earth Lagann, why couldn’t I… see… why couldn’t I fulfill my vow to live for Little man! Why!”
She started blaming herself again.
I couldn’t find any words to say to Sadiz, and she took in a few rough breaths…
“Little man… now…… you two… you said it was fulfilling, right?”
“Hmm? Ah… Yeah.”
“Those days… not only are you getting stronger with accurate guidance… Little man… are you also able to …… keep a smile on your face? In everyday life… having fun… properly…… are you smiling?”
Am I able to earnestly keep smiling?
I had no need to think about it.
Sadiz would say, “Don’t be ridiculous,” and father and mother wouldn’t allow it.
But I spent time with Tre’ainar, and…
“Even without your memory… for three months in this country… you were watching me, weren’t you?”
“…… Little man…”
“I’m sorry… Sadiz. I…… I’m having fun.”
『…… my goodness…… how moronic… just be silent and go back… you may start over…』
I just couldn’t lie.
In the last few years, I’ve never smiled like an idiot so hard, so deeply and with such fulfillment.
“…… I see…”
Was Sadiz disappointed with my answer? Was she dumbfounded? Would she hate me now!
“Great Demon King… first…… you…… why was my hometown… ~~~~tsu…… no…… wrong…… not that…”
“Sadiz…”
“The most important thing… already…… right now is… ku … uh … ugh …”
Sadiz started saying something, but quickly stopped herself, and instead……
“Great Demon King! If you’re there, you listen! These are my one-sided remarks! No need to respond through Little man!”
『…… Nu?』
Not to me, even though she couldn’t see him, Sadiz’s word were aimed at Tre’ainar…
“On the journey ahead, if anything should happen to Little man; I will die, I will become a spirit, and I will definitely hunt you down and cast you into the depths of hell! I promise! I won’t hear any excuses!”
『Nu, nu?』
“I’m entrusting the most precious thing in the world, my Little man, to the being who took everything from me… it’s so painful that my heart is crushed… I’ve an urge to search for an exorcist even now and thoroughly search for a means to exorcise the Great Demon King from Little man… I hate you, Great Demon King Tre’ainar! Even if there was once a just cause, I will never forgive you! But… even so…… if you truly care for Little man…”
She one-sidedly gave her emotional, but bittersweet feelings, to Tre’ainar.
“And you, Little man “
And now, looking at me…
“You don’t want to travel with a pretty girl… I’m not convinced, but…… no matter what happens, I’ll stand by you. Right, wrong, I don’t know anymore. Do what you want Little man… please do it to your heart’s content…”
“Sadiz.”
“I tried to guide Little man only as the son of a hero… I failed to determine what was best for Earth Lagann… I couldn’t do anything… I’m not worthy… but… at the very least, Little man… please allow me to see you off… and pray for you.”
Sadiz looked at me with a mixed but lonely expression, but still trying to smile as much as she could.
That expression made me feel unbearable guilt, and at the same time, I felt like crying too.
“And Little man. Finally… may I ask only one selfish thing for myself?”
“Hmm?”
And Sadiz gave me her one last wish with a smile. That is……
“Can I have one last …… hug? As a way of saying goodbye.”
There was no reason for me to decline.
“If so, with pleasure…”
Her hands slowly turned, and the warmth and calming fragrance that I have known for a long time.
After all, when I get wrapped up in Sadiz, my heart feels at ease.
“Ah… I used to carry you in my arms so easily… but now you’re just as tall as I am… really…… you’ve become big and strong.”
“Oh, have you noticed that now?”
“Yes, I didn’t even notice that… in many ways, I’m unqualified. And the madam… she said the same thing.”
“I see.”
I couldn’t let her see my face now either.
“Sadiz”
“Yes?”
“Thanks… for everything…… and…… for seeing me off… thank you.”
I didn’t think I’d ever be able to face Sadiz like this again, head on.
Sadiz was the one who was hurting the most right now.
But she still chose to see me off.
We can’t be together.
But still…
“Little man. I’ll be so happy to live in a world where I tell the Master, ‘Look at me now!’…… I’m waiting for you to become one of the world’s greatest…whenever it gets too hard…
“So, don’t…… ugh…… ruin it.
“I love you, more than anyone else in the world. I’ll always be thinking of you no matter what happens. Call on me anytime. I’ll come running even to the end of the world.”
“Uh … Sa … diz …”
“And… hopefully――”
Even though I said “I have already cut off the past”, I really just go with what’s convenient.
Also, would Tre’ainar ever even talk to me again?
『I do not mind. On occasion.』
At that time, Tre’ainar’s voice felt very gentle.
――― Part 4 Complete ―――
Author’s Note
There will be various opinions. Some may have hoped for a grand rejection. I will accept it already.
Please say it to your heart’s content.
And, because part 4 ended up being too long, and maybe some comedy will come in after this, the mood may change, so I will break this part here once.
They haven’t even set out on a journey yet, and what about Jamdi’el and Kron? I think there will be opinions on that, but I will break it off here. Excuse me.