BXBX NOVEL Chapter 409
Edited by Gumihou
Gumihou: ... added details. Added lots of details. Original word count was 1278. For some reason, even with the increased details, the number of words actually went down to a total of 980 words.
Will post it as a regular chapter due to the amount of work needed to make it partway decent.
We trailed after Fer as he explored the 20th floor. With Sui destroying any Gargoyles coming at us and Dora-chan keeping a lookout, I was pretty safe even with Fer concentrating on other matters.
We walked around like this for some time when Fer suddenly stopped.
“What is it?” I said, squinting ahead.
“There’s something there...” Fer pointed down a passageway with his paw.
“It’s... a dead end,”
“Umu,” he acknowledged.
Well, considering all the secret rooms and passages that could be found in RPG games, I considered the dead end thoughtfully as Fer lead us to it. When we reached the wall, I tried knocking on it. Then feeling what was beyond the wall with my magic.
I couldn’t tell the difference between this wall and all the other walls in the dungeon.
“”Yo, out of the way. Imma break it!!”” Dora-chan crowed as Ice Spears formed.
I dove out of the way as Ice Spears shattered against the dungeon wall. There was not even a scratch on the wall.
“You fool, do you think dungeon walls are so easily broken?”
“”Humph, what’s your plan then?”” Dora-chan snapped.
“Umu, there has to be some sort of a mechanism somewhere...”
“Right, everyone split up and check the walls and floor,” I said.
We all began to look, but...
“”Master, Sui can’t find anything...”” she had been poking the corners of the walls with her tentacles.
““Nothing up here either,”” called Dora-chan as he felt around the joints between the wall and ceiling.
Fer had been sitting in place, his face contorted into a constipated look.
“We’ve looked at the floors and walls, but so far nothing,” I said.
“”Wait!”” Dora-chan suddenly called. “”This ceiling stone seems to be loose.””
“Great move, Dora-chan!” I called out. “Push it and see what happens.”
Dora-chan pushed at the rock on the ceiling and suddenly, with a grumble, a section of the wall slid away, revealing a hidden passageway.
““Hahah! I’m so awesome!!” crowed Dora-chan.
“Yes, yes, that’s wonderful, Dora-chan. Now, let’s keep going.”
Fer was looking more and more disgruntled. I had better head off that potential quarrel quickly.
Please read this at dot com ~
The hidden passage ran about 30 meters in before opening up to a wide space that was even bigger than the Boss Room.
Inside the room were three Gargoyles standing in a line way back. They were twice the size of normal Gargoyles.
““Oi, oi, oi, check out those huge Gargoyles!”” Dora-chan cried excitedly.
“Fumu, I’ve never seen Gargoyles that size before,” muttered Fer.
“”Bigger stone monsters are still big stone monsters, Sui will defeat you!””
“Wait! Sui!”
However, it was too late.
Pew! Pew! Pew!
Holes appeared on the Gargoyles’ faces and they collapsed in a sad rumble to the floor.
“... ...”
“”Woah, instant kill attack,”” Dora-chan said admiringly.
“Umu, what do you expect from weaklings?”
Personally, I’m a little concerned about how strong Sui was going to get.
Before I could formulate a coherent sentence, however, the Gargoyle pile disappeared, and with an audible clatter, large red, blue, and green gems appeared in their place.
According to my [Appraisal] these were rubies, sapphires and emeralds.
Even though I am already a filthy rich man with gold and platinum coins in my [Item Box], I felt extra rich each time I picked up a piece of shiny stone...
““Aruji~ what’s that?””
I looked at where Sui was pointing. It was an old box.
““A treasure box?”” Dora-chan wondered.
“Umu, yes,” said Fer. “No traps either.”
Fer, there’s no need to look at me pointedly when you say that.
Still, I approached the old chest cautiously with my Mithril spear from the side and flipped it open. When nothing bad happened, I approached the chest and looked inside...
“Woah, gold bars.”
“”Shiny~!””
“”That’s it? Boring...””
“Magic tools would be more interesting,” Fer grumbled.
Well, I guess I could understand their reaction. It’s just a bunch more shiny things and money... even less interesting than the jewels...
“Looks like you managed to locate the treasures. Think of it as a one-time bonus stage. Fuoh, fuoh, fuoh.”
Demiurgos-sama’s voice suddenly appeared in my head.
Eh? Is that a thing? Is this a special reward for all the offerings I had been giving to the God of Creation?
Ahem.
“Thank you, Demiurgos-sama. Please look forward to the next offering. I shall endeavour to give you a pleasant surprise.”
“Fuoh fuoh fuoh, I shall look forward to it!”
That was the end of the communication.
“Well,” I said, “since we’ve completed the mission sent by Demiurgos-sama, shall we return to the teleportation room?”
“Umu, let’s go to the 30th floor.”
““Yeah, it’s kind of boring here.””
“Aruji~ Aruji~ what kind of monster will we face next?””
“Hmm,” I checked the dungeon map. “Well, according to this, there are some large monsters called ‘Gazers’ on the 30th Floor. They are monsters that are basically just one large eyeball with tentacles... they could also shoot beams of light at their enemies... sounds gross.”
Fer frowned, “More weaklings. Pass. Sui can destroy them.”
“”Imma pass those too,”” Dora-chan called out from his perch on Fer’s back.
“You two... giant eyeballs with light ray attacks are weak? What kind of abnormalities are you?”
“First, size does not define strength. Second of all, abnormal conditions caused by things like light rays don’t work on us since we have God’s Blessings. Therefore, these things are weaklings.”
““Also, even if the light rays do have any effect, they have a long casting time, so we can avoid them easily,”” chimed in Dora-chan.
“Umu,”
“... ...”
“”Sui will protect Aruji~”” Sui bounced excitedly from the side. “”Let’s go and see the giant eye monsters now~!””
“Yes, yes.”
Well, even if Fer and Dora-chan showed no interest in these ‘weaklings’, at least Sui is excited about it. Ah, an excited Sui-tan is cute too~
Gumihou: A little taste of what made Gumi go ... ...
“”Hey hey, these are some huge gargoyles”
“”They don’t look like normal gargoyles. I’ve never seen gargoyles of that size”
“Dora-chan and Fer, you’re also seeing these for the first time?”
“”Yeah. It’s the first time I see a gargoyle of this size”
“”Same here. These gargoyles are peculiar to this dungeon”
It was first time Dora-chan was seeing them, and even Fer who lived for a long time, so it seemed to be a rare monster. We better be careful here.
Dude...
[1] Structural Change: Combine 2 paragraphs
[2] Structural Change: Combine 3 paragraphs
[3] Structural Change: Combine paragraph & dialogue
[4] Structural Change: Change passive sentence to dialogue
[5] Delete Repetitive or Pointless Information... starting to delete pointless scenes now
[a] Getting rid of all the mundane ‘a 7-year-old could have guessed it’ puzzles.
[b] Deleted entire scene of ‘eh, wait, we haven’t checked the ceiling yet’ and ‘so that’s why no one had found it yet’ etc
[6] Additional Information for Aesthetic Purpose
[7] Add Dialogue Tag
[8] Creative Licence Taken – Added details
[a] More action
[b] More logical thought to back up said action