BXBX NOVEL Chapter 371
Edited by Gumihou
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Beyond the forest that was the territory of the Black Baboons was a steep mountain.
“Mu?” [3] Fer muttered as he stared at the top of the mountain.
“What is it?”
[8]
“See the top of that mountain?”
“Yeah?” [5]
“Someone cast an illusion magic up there,”
“Illusion Magic?” [5] this was my first time encountering such things outside a dungeon. Usually, it meant, “Do you think something’s hidden there?”
“It’s possible,”
““Want me to check it out?”” Dora-chan flapped his wings and made a loop around us. [5a]
“If someone took the time and effort to cast Illusion Magic, won’t it be dangerous?”
““Hah! I’m fast and strong, they can come at me if they dare!”” [5a]
“I guess that’s correct, but-”
““I’m going~! I’m gone!!””
“Dora-chan!!” [3] I called out, but it was no use, he was already zipping up the mountain.
“Don’t worry about him,” said Fer lazily.
“Well, he didn’t have to go in such a hurry either...Dora-chan’s so small, what if something happens to him? What if someone sets a trap? What if-”
“Mu, I’m ignoring you now,”
“Hey!”
[8]
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Nearly two hours later.
“Hey, do you think Dora-chan is okay?”
[9]
“Stop wandering around like that, it’s Dora after all. Nothing to worry about.”
Fer had the cheek to look bored even as I paced back and forth anxiously.
“Still, it’s been a long time, something must have happened! Do you think he’s been captured? Held hostage?!”
“Oh, look, there he is,” was Fer’s bored reply.
[6] “Wait, really?” I looked in the direction where Fer was pointing with his nose.
Indeed, something small was hurtling towards us.
[6] “Dora-chan! I was so worried! I was-” [5] [6] ““Humph, what’s to worry? I’m the great and powerful Dora!””[5]
“Still!”
““Munya, munya... Master~? Did Dora-chan go somewhere~?”” [5]
““Hey, Sui, great timing! I was just about to tell everyone about this fun place I found!””
“A fun place,” I said woodenly.
““Yeah! It was totally fun! [4] Anyway, I flew up that steep cliff thing and at first, there was nothing so it was really boring. But since Fer said there’s an illusion, I threw ice spears at random places and found a hole that was actually a cave entrance near the middle of the cliff.””
“Umu, that’s pretty clever,”
““Right? Anyway since I found the hole, I totally entered it and [4] found all these human bones and stuff. Anyway, from the helmets and clothes, I figured that three adventurers had died fighting something that also died and left a pile of big bones beside them.””
“Monster and Adventurers? Could it be a dungeon?” I said.
[10]
““Eh, who knows? [5] [4] Anyway, I flew further in and saw no creatures or anything. I was getting a bit tired by then and landed on the ground and that’s when a fire exploded over my head.””
“Dora! That must have been a trap!”
“Mu, it didn’t hit you because you’re too short,”
““Tch, being small is not a disadvantage!””
“Still, if it has traps, then it has to be a dungeon, right?” [5]
““Dungeon? Are we going to a dungeon~~?””
““Nah, despite the traps, that place is not dungeon,”” said Dora-chan.
[10] “Mu, in the first place, the fact that the monster and human corpses have time to turn into bones means it’s not a dungeon,” said Fer. “I told you this before, didn’t I? A dungeon is formed to harvest mana. Therefore, corpses that had been left too long in one would be absorbed by it.”
“Eh, ah, oh yes. I forgot, haha,”
““Also, the fire trap smells like oil. All dungeon traps are formed and powered by magic. Only humans would make fire traps with oil,”” said Dora-chan knowingly.
[10] Ugh, way to go in making me feel like an idiot, I thought a little sourly.
“If that’s the case,” I said a little loudly to change the subject. “Do you think there might be something hidden in the cave?”
““Like human treasures?”” said Dora-chan. ““Humans make traps to keep other humans out because of treasure, right?”” [5]
“Umu, regardless. We received an oracle from God to visit the mountain, so let’s go.”
“W-wait, are you sure? Traps aren’t only made to keep people out, it’s to keep things in too, you know?” I gulped. “What if it’s keeping a dangerous monster in...”
““Even more reason to attack!!”” Dora-chan howled. ““Ou! Let’s go get ‘em!!””
““Wheee~!!!””
[9] [10]
“You two...” I sighed at my two battle crazed familiars. Wait, isn’t my most battle crazed familiar being too silent?
Fer was staring up at the peak of the mountain with a contemplative look on his face.
“Fer? What’s going on?” I asked a little nervously.
“Umu, that mountain looks kind of familiar... ah!” [5b]
“Eh? What? Huh?!”
“Umu, I remember now.”
“Remember what? What is it?”
“I think it was about 300 years ago, some random human who called himself the Bandit King or something lives around here.”
“A... Bandit King?” this was unexpected.
[11] “Hmm, a bunch of humans hung around here and build their base or something. All I know is that this place has always been the Black Baboon’s territory and that some humans gathered here about 300 years ago,” said Fer with a casual fling of his head.
“Wait, if someone called a Bandit King made this place his hideout and even cast an illusion magic... w-wouldn’t that mean their stash might still be there?” I was quivering with excitement now.
“Mu, I guess?”
Then, it’s possible that Demiurgos-sama’s oracle was meant to direct us to this Bandit King’s treasure? Could it be a way to thank me for all the offerings?
“Fuhahaha, I like the sound of that! Interesting! A bandit’s stash! It’s not a dungeon but it sounds interesting~”
““Fun~? Like fun dungeon~?””
“Not quite, it will have traps like a dungeon but maybe not as many monsters, but it will still be interesting though.” I looked up at the steep mountainside and noticed for the first time how dark it was getting. “Uh, you know what? Maybe we should go tomorrow. Shall we have an early dinner now and climb the mountain tomorrow?”
““Sui will go with master~!””
“Umu, let’s eat.”
““Ahh, I’m tired from all that flying. Feed me something good!””
“Yes, yes,”
[Gumihou: Deleted over 200 words. At least two scenes have been scrapped. The ending had been scrapped too]
[1] Structural Change: Combine 2 paragraphs
[2] Structural Change: Combine 3 paragraphs
[3] Structural Change: Combine paragraph & dialogue
[4] Structural Change: Change passive sentence to dialogue
[5] Delete Repetitive or Pointless Information... and pointless scenes
[a] Deleted moments where Dora-chan was being too polite
[b] Deleted Fer’s unlikely knowledge of human actions. It was pointlessly detailed.
[6] Additional Information for Aesthetic Purpose
[7] Add Dialogue Tag
[8] Creative Licence Taken – Discussion whether Dora-chan should go check out the mountain peak or not was reeaaalllyyy dragggyyy...
[9] Reduce the seeriousss draaaagg between worrywart Mukouda > Dora-chan telling everyone what he saw.
Like, deleted close to 50 words in that little bit alone.
[10] “Monster and Adventurers? Could it be a dungeon?”
Fer: ...
Gumi: I thought you told him that dungeon creatures are absorbed by the dungeon and recycled, while any outside creatures would be absorbed as energy?
Fer: I did, back at Chapter 38.
Gumi: ...was the dungeon boot camp back then too traumatising and caused him to lose his memories?
Fer: I supposed it’s possible.
Gumi: Dora-chan’s attitude is weird too.
Fer: Just... make sure he’s not OOC.
[11] Also, Fer’s revelation re the Bandit King. Readjusted.
Fer: Why would I know human things like bandits dying in prison without revealing their treasure? Too OOC!
Gumi: I know right?
Fer: I demand my right to Note [5] all dumb human information! Begone! [5] [5]!
Gumi: Yes, yes.