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Chapter 275

Tondemo Skill - 275 - Drinks, Drinks & More Drinks

“Chug, chug, chug, this drink is really good!”

“Aa, I never thought that cold ale would taste so good,”

“Moreover, it matches well with Mukouda-san’s cooking!”

“Right? Right? I feel like I could keep drinking it forever!”

Ahah, although that’s beer, it’s not ale, but lager [9]. Not that it really matters but lager is great when cold.

Personally, when I think of bottled beer, the image of Company S’s black label beer [10] appears in my mind. I’m glad that everyone seems to like it, but they were practically drinking it like water…

[8] Ah, well, as long as everyone has fun. Beer is best with good food and good company after all.

“Nu, I’m dry…” Siegwald-san turned his bottle upside down, trying to shake the last few drops of beer into his mouth.

[8] Woah, the corner table where I had stashed the beer (and where Siedwald-san had immediately stashed himself) was filled with empty bottles. Siegwald-san was not the only contributor to the empty bottles though, everyone seemed to really enjoy their drink. Luckily, I was prepared a lot in case of this.

“A moment please, let me get some more.” [3] [6] I put away the crates of empty bottles and pulled out new crates of beer, still misty with cold.

[8] Siegwald-san eagerly reached for a bottle but I quickly grabbed one first and popped the top open, “Please allow me to serve you, Siegwald-san. You are my guest after all,” The Japanese drinking manners that had been drilled into me through my adult years kicked in as I poured beer for Siegwald-san.

[8] “Many thanks,” Siegwald-san raised his glass to me and chugged until the glass was empty. “Aaahhh, that was delicious!”

[4] “As expected, dwarves certainly knows what’s good,” I complimented heartily.

“Hmm, it’s my first time drinking ale cold, and it’s really mellow and delicious too. Aahh, I could drink it all day,”

[8] “Ahh, but Siegwald-san, that beer is strictly speaking not ale, but lager,” I said, wanting to show off my knowledge of alcohol a little even as I refilled his glass.

“Hmm? Is that so? Well, I’m fine with anything as long as it’s good. Gahahaha!” and chugged his beer again. He set the glass down with a satisfied ‘aahhhhhh…’ before suddenly perking up. “Ooops, I nearly forgot. I promised to bring you something special, didn’t I? Well, here it is.”

Siegwald-san reluctantly parted with his glass and fished out a glass bottle from his pocket and handed it to me. [1] The glass was very clear and the golden amber liquid sparkled menacingly at me. There was no label, which reinforced the homemade feel.

I’m starting to feel a little nervous. Dwarves were famous for liking high alcohol content drinks, so…

“Go on, have a try,” Siegwald-san said encouragingly.

This… well, there’s no helping it. I uncorked the bottle and took a sip. [5]

Cough! Cough! Cough!

My throat! My eyes!!

Cough! Cough!

“Wh- whas dish…!” I slurred. What the heck?! [5]

“Gahaha! Dwarven liquor, is exciting, eh?”

[4] “What do you mean exciting? All my taste buds have been burnt off! I can’t even taste it!” I was scandalized. The alcohol content was so high that I might as well have been drinking paint thinner. [5]

While I was ranting, the men in the party came over to study the drink. [5]

“Why on earth did you make Mukouda-san drink that?” [3] said Gaudino exasperatedly.

“Well, I did promise to bring my ‘special brew’,” said Siegwald-san a little smugly. [5]

“That is not something an ordinary person could take,” Gideon-san patted me sympathetically on the back.

“Ahh, that’s the voice of experience over there,” laughed Gaudino-san.

“L-leader!” [5]

Everyone laughed. [1] I’m just glad not to be the only person being laughed at. “The tastiness of alcohol should not be measured by alcohol content only…” I muttered to myself. Wait, high alcohol content drink?

While shopping for drinks last night, I bought several different kinds of alcohol. After all, most of my guests are large burly men and one very discerning dwarf. [8] I ended up buying some really powerful stuff, after being seduced by the wonderful descriptions…

[8] Yes… let’s bring that out. Fufufu. [5]

“Siegwald-san~ There’s something I’d like you to try~”

“Oh?” Siegwald-san appeared to be a little worried by my sweet tone.

I reached into my [Item Box] and pulled out a Polish vodka with 96% alcohol [11]. It is said to be the strongest vodka in the world. It even came with a ‘flammable’ warning. So, not something to be mess around with.

A friend who loves liquor told me that vodka should be served chilled in a cold glass, especially if you want to drink it neat. So I stuck it in a bucket of ice and stored it into my [Item Box] once it was properly chilled. Naturally, I bought several shot glasses from [Net Super] and chilled those as well.

Fufufu, Siegwald-san, as a dwarf who enjoys paint thinner, surely you’d like your vodka neat?

[8] I took out the ice buckets of glasses and vodka and proceeded to pour a shot glass full of the 96% proof Polish vodka and slide it challengingly towards Siegwald-san.

“Sir, please enjoy~”

“Ooh, is this the one? Let me have a taste…”

[8] Siegwald the Dwarf upended the shot glass into his mouth in one gulp.

“… …”

Siegwald-san’s face, which had been perfectly normal until now suddenly turned red.

“Gu-guoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!”

I flinched. W-was it too strong even for Siegwald-san? [11] I vaguely remember reading that this alcohol actually killed someone…

“Wh- wh- what’s this? What is this powerful and incredible thing?!”

“What? Wait! Siegwald-san, your face is too close…” I nearly fainted from his alcohol breath.

“Gimme more,” [5]

“No, no, people have actually died from drinking too much of this you know? Also, it’s not meant to be taken neat…” [5]

“I am a dwarf. This is nothing. Just pour me another!”

I had bought this crazy Polish vodka as a joke and planned to maybe use it to pickle fruits or something if not one ended up drinking it, but… [5]

“Oh, fine, fine, don’t blame me if you find yourself rolled under the table after this.”

I fetched a new cold glass and poured another shot. Which Siegwald-san slammed down in one go again. “Cough, intense and powerful. Good!”

[8] All of us men (the elves were too busy eating) stared in fascination and horror as Siegwald-san downed his third and fourth shot. [5]

“Gimme one more, one more!”

“Absolutely not, Siegwald-san. You promise that’s the last one,”

“Oh, for the love of God, one more! Don’t be stingy,”

“For the love of God, you say…” I’m really afraid of sending you to heaven too soon with alcohol… although, since he’s a dwarf, he’d probably be really happy…

[8] “No, I cannot give you any more. I have other stuff you can try but I’m confiscating this one now,” while speaking, I quickly shoved the bottle of vodka into my [Item Box].

“What? You have other stuff? Well, let us have a look!”

Augh, y-your face…

“Alright, alright, here, here, and here!” I frantically reached into my [Item Box] and brought out the stash I had bought. [8] Most of them were from the Recommended Gifts section, which meant they’re tasty, smooth and more importantly, has safe alcoholic limits.

I got whiskeys, of course, since those duo gods kept pestering me about whiskeys, I inevitably became somewhat familiar with them. I got a local Japanese whiskey, a cheaper version of the ‘Best Whiskey in the World’; a scotch blended whiskey from a popular label as well as one that says it’s made with over 40 different pure alcohol blends. [12]

Aside from blends, I also bought some bourbon whiskeys since these are said to be ‘Uncompromisingly pure’ types of liquor with high alcohol content. The brand I got has lots of positive comments and I mainly got it just in case, well, something like this happened.

I also got some brandy too. Specifically, the very famous cognac associated with Emperor Napoleon [13]. There are all kinds of cognac, but these Napoleon level cognac are often quite expensive especially those XO (Extra Old) ones. However, it’s possible to find a less expensive Napoleon grade cognac too.

[8] Aside from these amber coloured drinks, I also bought gin. [2] The so-called ‘girly’ drink, which is deceptively fragrant and citrusy, but contains high alcohol content. I must admit, I bought the gin for its pretty bottle and drank some out of curiosity. I’ll admit I ended up very sick the next day…

The other popular thing on sale was rum. A dark Guatemalan rum that could be enjoyed neat or on the rocks. I also got a premium blend of rum made with over 20 different types of liquor and aged in French Oak barrels for 4 years. A comment from the Manager began with, ‘Beginners would be able to enjoy the mellow aroma and the sweet gentle taste of rum…’

Fascinated by this comment, I bought it even though it was a little pricey.

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Finally, there’s sake.

Naturally, I must bring out liquor from my home country. The sake I brought out came from the Niigata prefecture [14] and has a fairly good reputation. A dry and refreshing sake with a sharp after taste that goes down easy. Plus, it was at the top of the monthly ranking list, so I just have to get it.

After lining up the various liquor on the table, I took out another bucket of ice and placed it next to the chilled shot glasses.

“Alright, you can drink any of these neat or with ice. So, what will it be?”

Suddenly, everyone gathered around me.

“Yoshi! Liquor!” [3] Siegwald-san howled and was nearly hopping in place with excitement.

The men were also excited, “As expected of Mukouda-san, even your liquor line-up is amazing,” [3] said Gaudino-san with shining eyes. The other men nodded fervently.

I cleared my throat, “Maa, well, you could say that I have some connections…” like, a connection to the [Net Super]…

Everyone rushed over with their iced glasses and picked out the bottle that caught their eye. [5] As for myself, I stood aside and occasionally throw in remarks like:

“Ah, gin is better with ice,”

Or.

“Brandy is better without ice,”

Siegwald-san headed right for the bourbon whiskey and poured himself a glass, neat, of course. He tipped it down his throat like a pro.

“Kuhaaa, that was delicious!”

“Ah… that one’s pretty strong, so please go easy on it…”

“I’m going to drink the night away!” Siegwald-san poured himself another shot and toasted the heavens.

“Yeah! Let’s drink the night away!”

It was barely past noon, are they really planning to drink until the next day?

[Eguchi Ren: Looks like it was a mistake to serve sake, huh?]

[Gumihou: Deleted some extra extra dialogues that served no purpose aside from padding.]

[1] Structural Change: Combine 2 paragraphs

[2] Structural Change: Combine 3 paragraphs

[3] Structural Change: Combine paragraph & dialogue

[4] Structural Change: Change passive sentence to dialogue

[5] Delete Repetitive or Pointless Information

[6] Additional Information for Aesthetic Purpose

[7] Add Dialogue Tag

[8] Creative Licence Taken

[9] Ale vs Lager

https://www.tapvillesocial.com/craftbrewu/2018/5/8/what-is-the-difference-between-ales-and-lagers

[10] Company S Black Label Beer is most likely one of Sapporo’s black label beer. Sapporo is the oldest brand of beer in Japan and was first brewed in Sapporo back in 1876. https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Sapporo_Breweries

[11] Polish vodka – 96% proof. Yes, this insanity exist. Someone actually died after drinking a few shots of it. Some sources said it’s 95%, others 96%. Gumi can’t even take 5% alcohol…

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/lethal-polish-booze-thats-95-4681226

https://thehustle.co/04242020-liquor-spirytus-rektyfikowany/

Description of alcohol taken from here

https://www.theliquorbarn.com/polmos-spirytus-rektyfikowany-192-proof-750ml/

[12] Whiskey with over 40 blends of undiluted alcohol. Most like the Ballantines which is said to be made from more than 50 single malts and 4 single grain whiskies.

https://whisky.my/product/ballantines-finest/

[13] Cognac associated with Emperor Napoleon – the Courvoisier, Le Cognac de Napoleon. Courvoiseir is own by Beam Suntory. Yes, Company S. So it’s likely this is the one he’s talking about.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courvoisier

Standard version.

XO version.

The one used by Kurokiba Ryo in Shokugeki no Souma when making his French Curry Lobster Rice with Cognac was probably a Victor Fauconnier Napoleon, XO or a Napoleon V Marengo XO with similar looking bottle. It certainly is more dashing looking than the Courvoisier.

https://shokugekinosoma.fandom.com/wiki/French_Curry_Lobster_Rice_with_Cognac

https://chuansenghuat.com.sg/product/victor-fauconnier-napoleon-xo/

https://www.isaactan.net/2020/01/cny-gifts-napoleon-v-marengo-xo-brandy-ferrantino-red-wine.html

[14] Niigata Prefecture Sake – there are a lot!

http://niigatasake.com/