BXBX NOVEL Chapter 94
Chapter 94
“Ah!”
“Hmph!”
Yeon-Hoon and Woon rubbed their faces at Only One’s Kim Ju-Hyun’s question. They tried to erase their tear marks, but—
‘It’s already been all filmed.’ It was filmed on our camera and Only One’s camera over there. I thought this whole scene might come out strangely through Only One’s camera.
—Late at night. The Only One members were drawn by a strange crying sound from the dark lake…and a wild Siren sobbing his heart popped out…!
I thought this kind of comedic line might be included at the bottom, but I brushed away that thought. It seemed that the more things went on, the more we would be portrayed as a comedic group. Yeon-Hoon and Woon had cried while talking about something serious, and I thought I would be disappointed if our conversation was edited as a funny scene but…
‘Were we even being serious?’ On second thought, I wondered if we had even been talking about something serious. In a way, we were talking about everyday things, but Woon and Yeon-Hoon suddenly cried out of the blue.
Only One members looked a bit conflicted as they stared at Woon and Yeon-Hoon\'s teary eyes as if they were looking at something they shouldn’t have seen. I didn’t say anything and met eyes with Kang Hyun-Sung, who was standing at the back.
Kang Hyun-Sung stared at me for a while and turned his head. It felt somewhat awkward between us after that day in the jacuzzi. No-awkward was not the right word, as we didn’t have a proper relationship in the first place, and things were awkward between us from the very beginning. Rather than awkward, it was more accurate to say…
‘Is he mad?’ It seemed as if Kang Hyun-Sung was angry at me about something, or he was trying to push me away. I didn’t want to think more about it, and I didn’t think things would get any better between us even if I thought about it.
“Then, we will go on our way for now. Haha.”
“Have a good time with your members~”
“Haha…thank you…”
Only One members quickly moved on, realizing that staying longer would not be beneficial for them. I met Park Young-Ho’s eyes, and he smiled brightly and disappeared after saying, “See you in the practice room.”
When we were left in the dark again, Woon was embarrassed after regaining his senses. ”I’m starting to worry about how I’ll appear on the show for crying…all of a sudden.”
“I already cried so much, so I’m just going to let it go…” Yeon-Hoon replied, sounding a bit resigned.
“Then shall we also head back?”
“Yeah.”
“Let’s go~”
We all got in the car together. Woon got in the passenger seat and I got in the back seat this time. I sat in the middle with Do-Seung and Dong-Jun on each side.
“So Tae-Yoon, why did Yeon-Hoon and Woon cry?”
“Is there something up with those two?”
They whispered in my ear at the same time.
Sigh.
There was no worse ASMR than this. I succinctly replied, “I don’t know.”
“Dude, tell me.”
“Booo. Guarantee our rights to know.”
“I don’t know.”
I had no desire nor heart to talk about this. I just closed my eyes and pretended to sleep, and Do-Seung and Dong-Jun played around to wake me up but eventually left me alone.
* * *
Perhaps due to the midnight drive, my heart that had felt heavy after meeting my aunt felt a bit lighter. Although we returned somewhat late at night, I was able to sleep well that day, and I didn’t feel too drained. But above all—
[Probability of winning first place: 82%]
Since I went out for a drive yesterday with my members, the chance of winning first place has increased by 2%. Until now, the probability had only risen through clear activities and practices.
‘Why did it go up?’ I thought it might have risen because managing one’s condition was also part of the preparatory process, but I knew from past experience that this probability was not something that rose so easily.
‘That means something happened last night.’ If I had to pick out an incident that stood out to me yesterday, it was that we talked about why we wanted to become idols.
‘Is it related to that?’ Come to think of it, I thought, ‘Wait, I think there’s a connection?’
As a result of watching the probability of winning rise and fall again and again, I realized that there was some sort of rule connected to its movements.
‘Is it related to my mindset?’ No, to be more precise, it was—
‘I guess…my self-identity as an idol.’
I deeply sighed. The song “Never Mind” was a song that was very idol-like; even more so with the rearranged version.
‘But I think I’m quite the idol now…’ My identity as a novelist in my past life faded a lot now. Since I risked my life to carry out the missions and did my best every moment, my previous life’s consciousness as a novelist inevitably decreased. However, the system was still saying that I was lacking something.
“Thank you for your hard work in training camp for the past week!” Producer Park Soo-Chul gathered us in the yard and announced.
With his voice, I thought I should put all my focus on the shooting for now.
“Hooray!”
“Thank you!”
“Great work everyone!”
“Thank you~”
I bowed to the staff.
“I’ll take the microphone off~”
After taking out the microphone on our clothes and the luggage from our accommodation, the shooting really was over. My members and I gathered again in the yard with our luggage.
“Ahh~ Thank you for a great week~” Dong-Jun said goodbye to the pension even though no one asked him to.
“These will all become great memories, right?” Woon took out his phone and took pictures of the pension.
“Let’s take selfies, here!” Yeon-Hoon took out his phone camera and took a selfie. He was probably going to send these to Ms. Seung-Yeon and Ms. Hyuna and ask if it would be okay for us to post them on WD Entertainment’s official SNS. Just in time—
“Everyone~”
“Oh? They’re here!”
Ms. Seung-Yeon and Ms. Hyuna were coming towards us from a distance. Their voice seemed to be full of energy as they called us.
“Did you enjoy your stay together?”
“Yes!”
“We did our best.”
“While you guys were here, we also enjoyed a break in Seoul…um, I mean, we were praying that everything would end well over there.”
While we were moving towards the car, I continued to think about what I was thinking earlier. The system seemed to be telling me now that my self-identity as an idol was lacking. I kept feeling that the probability of winning first place would rise above 90% if I just fully developed my identity as an idol. On the other hand, it was quite funny to say I had to fully develop my idol identity.
‘Don’t I just have to be sincere about my performances and being an idol?’ It was not something that I could accomplish with effort. I had to sincerely want to become an idol.
In order for that to happen, I thought, ‘Should I talk a little more about what I said yesterday?’
I wondered if I needed to continue yesterday’s conversation with my members a bit longer.
‘No.’ My members already had strong self-identity as idols. They were people who were serious about their dreams of becoming idols and thought of this as their sole path. If there was someone who could be a bit more helpful to me... one person came up in my mind.
Sigh.
‘But…it’s a bit uncomfortable.’ However, it was hard for me to reach out to him for help. However, I had to live as an idol and needed to address this issue. I needed to talk to someone who could tell me directly and transparently what it meant to live as an idol and what kind of life it was. In the end, I took out my phone and sent out a text.
–Do you want to have breakfast with me on the day of the third competition?
I sent it and put back my phone. I thought he would reply to me on his own. Living as an idol…it was already quite difficult.
* * *
“Pweh! A week at training camp was really productive!” Only One members got into their vehicle with their luggage. Since they had a lot of luggage to organize, they became the last group to start heading back after all the other groups left.
“Let’s quickly pack up and leave~”
“Yes~”
At the manager’s words, the Only One members moved busily and loaded their luggage into the car. Only Kang Hyun-Sung, who had packed all his luggage in advance, got into the car first and was enjoying a leisurely time.
Zing.
Then Kang Hyun-Sung’s phone suddenly vibrated. When he checked the text, he paused and stiffened for a moment. However, he quickly returned to his original self and sent out a reply after typing mechanically. After sending his reply, he smiled faintly with his phone in his pocket.
The other members caught his smile, and Park Young-Ho, who got into the van with all his luggage, asked, “Did something good happen…?”
“No,” Kang Hyun-Sung answered firmly and quickly.
* * *
Time flew by after the training camp. I came back to the dorm with the members and unpacked our belongings again. After that day, we started practicing for the third competition again. Since we had roughly finished matching our choreography, our practice became closer and closer to mindless labor. We repeated the same movements dozens or hundreds of times to hone the fine details of the same movement.
Our practice could be easily described as doing high-intensity, systemic aerobic exercises all day long. Furthermore, the fact that our third competition stage deadline was approaching put our bodies in a state of constant stress, and we forgot about our fatigue. We practiced with the mindset of working to the bone till the very end, which was less than a few days away anyway. Was it because of the crazy amount of practice? On the last day of practice—
[Probability of winning first place: 83%]
I thought the probability wouldn’t increase anymore with practice, but it rose 1%.
Kang Hyun-Sung must have also known that we couldn’t improve any further with the choreography as he said, “Thank you for all your hard work. We roughly look like a proper team now.”
He complimented us for the first time. Of course, ‘roughly look like a proper team’ was barely a compliment from the listener\'s point of view. When I returned to our dorm after practice, my members were already asleep, so I also washed up and quickly fell asleep.
Then it became 5 am. At dawn on the D-day of the third competition—
Ziiing.
I woke up an hour earlier than my members and left the dorm.
—Come down. This is the only time to eat breakfast.
—I know. I’m going down now.
The reason for that was that I was going to have breakfast with Kang Hyun-Sung. When I went down to the first floor of the dorm, Kang Hyun-Sung was standing still while wearing a hat and mask.
I asked, “You’re already here?”
“Let’s go. To eat.”
I couldn’t believe I was eating breakfast with Kang Hyun-Sung. Even though I was the one who suggested it first, I still couldn’t believe it.
‘It’s so strange.’
“Let’s go get our hair and makeup done right after we eat.”
“Yes.”
Since today’s competition was a joint mission, we had to start as a team, not as groups. Since we decided to meet at 7 in front of the practice room, we had about two hours left to eat.
I asked, “What do you want to eat? There won’t be many places open at this time.” I was deeply pondering about what questions I should ask Kang Hyun-Sung to raise the probability of winning first place above 90%, but—
“What about McMorning?”
“…?” How should I say this? This punk seemed strangely excited for some reason by himself. I said, “Let’s go eat gukbap instead.” [1]
Above all, I couldn’t believe he suggested McMorning. His menu selection was awful.
1. Hot soup with rice. ☜