BXBX NOVEL Chapter 581 I Am... Tired
Eli felt like she had been sleeping for so long.
However, the last time she remembered was that she had been fighting so badly against Rachana, Emperor Razak, and Pope Ramir.
While she was fighting with her, every shortcoming that she had was slowly weighing her down.
She thought that when the heavens blessed her with power, she was finally able to catch up with Rachana's prowess in fighting.
However, who would have thought that the Pope and Emperor would come?
They were even several times stronger and more experienced than Rachana in fighting! The most frightening thing was, the moment the two laid their eyes on her, her secrets were all exposed.
Including the secret she did not want the enemy to know the most… Little Han's existence!
She fought for her life and she fought to protect Little Han's whereabouts.
In the process, she was tortured beyond her imagination.
Every part of her body was being shredded to pieces and she could not even shout in pain. Because the mere fact of opening her mouth and letting out her scream was already torture.
The image in her eyes was the desperate moves of Baobao, Wisey, Kayden, and the rest of her comrades to attempt to save her.
She had seen their horror and how their spirits broke when she was being tortured in front of their eyes.
She could not even let out a tear in her eye, because every moisture in her body was toasted by Emperor Razak's electricity.
'No more… please… no more…' That was the plea she was desperately shouting as Emperor Razak ruthlessly electrocuted her at increasing levels.
'Please… no… more…'
'I… beg you… please…'
'Have mercy… please…'
In face of pain and great torture, her mental fortitude totally broke down.
Her very own cheery and curious character was taken away. Even the warmth she held onto since she went to Prasinos and met the people she truly cared for, they were all forgotten.
The first taste of companionship with Wisey and Baobao…
The very first time she used magic, and how she strived to grow it stronger…
The dreadful feeling of killing her first enemy…
The excitement of being a mother…
The joy of holding her child for the first time…
The feeling of being in love…
The exhilarating taste of her first kiss.
The sensation of when her engagement ring was put on her finger…
At that point, Eli no longer remembered it all. For her entire being was filled with pain, suffering, and begging.
Begging not to her torturer but to the Great One whom she knew was watching from the heavenly realm.
'I can no longer go on… Great One.'
'Please leave me be…'
'I'm tired!'
'I'm done!'
'Please let my work end here… for I can no longer move forward… Great One…'
In her mind, as she was saying this, she finally lost all sensation.
Her hearing, her vision, her sense of touch and smell, and most importantly, her pain and suffering.
All she could see was the cold pitch-black that was covering her and embracing her aggressively.
Eli curled up in a fetal position and trembled.
Then she wept.
Her sniffles turned to sobs, her sobs turned to cries…
Her cries turned to haunting wails.
Like an aggrieved child who was disappointed in herself and the outcome of her circumstance.
Her groans were like desperate complaints, silent and deep but were screaming loudly.
She cried and cried, as memories of her sufferings and hard work from her previous life until now were all coming back to her like raging water in a broken dam.
"Eli… Eli… wake up…" After some time, she finally heard a soft voice whispering in her ears.
But she refused to respond and just hugged herself, succumbing to the emotions she felt at the moment.
"Eli!! Hear me out… please!"
"Wake up!" The voice which was slowly turning more familiar with Eli continued to convince her.
But Eli only frowned and replied, "No!" e
"Wake up… open your eyes…Eli!"
"No! I'm tired!"
"I won't open my eyes!"
"I will just stay here… in here there's need to worry and work hard!"
"There is no pressure to become a great person, no one would depend on me…"
"In here I can only think of myself, and not be afraid of falling short of others' expectations."
"I do not have to be scared to know if I fail as a mother or a woman…"
Eli continued to mutter the things that made her refuse, convincing herself and the voice why she did not want to listen.
"Eli… Little Han needs you…"
"So please wake up!" The voice did not grow impatient and just gently coaxed Eli to open her eyes.
Eli's trembling body paused at the mention of Little Han's name, but she still did not open her eyes.
"He is crying desperately when he feels the presence that you are in danger… His cries reached the heavens…"
When Eli heard it, her sobs and sniffles halted at once.
Instantly the image of Little Han desperately crying invaded her mind and haunted her heart. She opened her eyes immediately, refusing to see that image of Little Han's agony for even a second.
When she opened her eyes, she was shocked by what she saw.
There was a figure sitting beside her, she was dressed in pure white, her wings were laden with gold. There was a heavenly aura surrounding her, which made Eli recognize that the figure in front of her was a citizen of the heavenly realms.
But that was not what surprised her.
It was because the face of the figure in front of her was exactly the face of the body she had been living in Prasinos.
"E-Elise?" She slowly stood up, lost for words as she looked at the figure in front of her.
"How are you, Eli?" Elise smiled and squatted at her innocently, her eyes were full of stars twinkling in the midnight sky.
"I… I failed to protect Little Han…" Eli's eyes heated once more and another session of crying is about to ensue.
"It turns out, I cannot protect him well… I failed at the task you have entrusted… Elise." Tears in Eli's eyes rolled heavily.
While they were the same tears, it was way heavier than the tears she had already shed earlier on.
"You still haven't failed… You can still go back." Elise smiled and wiped the tears gently from Eli's eyes.
But Eli shook her head and said, "No… I think that I no longer deserve to come down there… Elise… you can take your body back…"
"I'll be satisfied here, watching you become a mother to Little Han…" Eli said with great bitterness welling in her heart.
Even if she uttered these words, she was deeply unwilling. Because she knew deep in her heart how full her acceptance was as Little Han's mother…
As Eli in Prasinos the fantasy world.
However, she still forced herself to do so, because she clearly saw how she failed to do what she had to do.
To her surprise, Elise did not agree with her and shook her head, "I cannot do that. I cannot take your body."
"Why not? You are the owner of the body in the first place. You are Little Han's mother! And you have already fully recovered your soul!" Eli replied.
But Elise looked at her meaningfully and shook her head once more.
"Eli, I cannot take your body… Even if I have a complete soul I cannot go down and do it."
"Why?" Eli asked, clearly confused.
"Because the body that you are in… the identity you believed you borrowed…"
"Was yours in the first place…"
"You are Little Han's mother in the first place."
"From the beginning, you are Elise Fayre, Little Han's mother!"