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Chapter 172: Looking Forward. (3)



“I never intended to just let Elroy go like that. It’s like he was stolen.”

“That’s exactly it! Even cold air respects its position. Even if she’s the Queen, she can’t unjustly take Elroy away from us! I wonder how many memories Elroy has built up without us knowing…”

Daphne slammed the armrest of her chair, her fist trembling. Unfamiliar and grotesque images flashed through her mind—visions she had never even had nightmares of. Agnes and Elroy holding hands, moving closer to one another. Agnes approaching Elroy with a teasing smile, leaning against his broad shoulders…

“Aaah!”

“Calm down, Daphne. Nothing has happened yet. Elroy rejected Queen’s proposal, didn’t he? There’s no need to be so anxious.”

Marianne’s hands trembled as she raised her cup. The tea flowed down the side, trickling onto her lap.

“You never know what those two might be up to when they go out! Without us knowing!”

“…That’s true.”

After venting their frustrations for a while, Daphne and Marianne simultaneously sighed and slumped into their chairs. The silence that followed the commotion was loud. reIn the absence of sound, Marianne was the first to break the quiet.

“…Still, Daphne, you’ll continue to stay by Elroy’s side, won’t you?”

“Yes, that’s right. Honestly, I don’t care about the order. I’m fine either way.”

Daphne flashed a wry smile. She felt indebted. Indebted for a lifetime. The debts she could never repay, and she had learned trust for the first time. She had learned camaraderie and friendship. She had received care and concern, and, in the end, she had even learned what love was, albeit vaguely. She had been pulled out from the mire she was slowly sinking in.

“Maybe it’s just my pettiness. Perhaps someone more fitting, someone as strong and determined as the Queen, would be better. So, even if Elroy never turns to me, I won’t resent him.”

Daphne spoke and bit her lip.

“But still, I want to be by his side. It’s just… lately, Elroy seems brighter. Not in terms of personality or behavior. It’s like he’s a light, as if he might disappear somewhere… But I can’t bring myself to say it out loud.”

“I promised myself to always be by Elroy’s side, to become someone he can rely on.”

Marianne nodded in agreement with Daphne’s words. When she set out toward the Mist, she decided to see Elroy not as the Hero but as a person. Someone who needed help and support. Elroy saw her not as a tool or a chess piece but as a person. She resolved to see him just as Elroy did.

“…I worry about him as well. He gives reassurance but also causes concern.”

“Exactly! He tries to handle everything in every battle. Of course, it’s reassuring when Elroy steps forward, but at the same time, it worries me. How long can he keep doing this?”

So, when the time comes when he can no longer bear it…

Footsteps approached, and both Daphne and Marianne, without a word, exchanged glances, sharing a rueful smile. The door creaked open.

“…Did I interrupt something?”

Elroy stood there, looking between the two curiously. Daphne quickly stood, her usual confident demeanor returning.

“Not at all, Elroy! We were just chatting.”

Marianne nodded in agreement, though her cheeks faintly tinged with pink. Elroy grinned, sensing there might be more to their conversation than they let on.

“Alright, alright. Just wanted to check-in. We’re meeting in the strategy room soon. Let’s head there together.”

As they walked towards the room, the atmosphere lightened. Daphne walked alongside Elroy, and Marianne brought up the rear. The bond between the three seemed to have grown stronger, understanding that they were more than just comrades in arms. They were friends who shared battles and their thoughts, worries, and moments of quiet reflection.

Elroy left for the restroom, and the two women waited in the strategy room.

Footsteps came from outside the room, but they felt something was wrong. The steps were irregular, and a soft thud knocked on the door. Sensing something amiss, Marianne moved and opened the door. They saw Elroy standing, a little dazed.

“I’m back…”

His voice was normal, and his complexion was fine. He walked into the room, wobbling and swaying more with each step. His precarious steps made irregular sounds. Daphne and Marianne didn’t fully understand the situation as they exchanged glances. The conversation they had just had suddenly came to mind, disturbing their thoughts.

“Just… tired…”

Elroy’s hand gently pushed away Marianne before collapsing.

***

I couldn’t feel anything. I tried to gather any sensation with my unmoving hand, trying to feel my fingertips. I twitched, and simultaneously, the sensation returned to my body. I repeatedly took deep breaths, pushing it from the center of my body to the tips. It felt like waking up deeply asleep.

“…Still alive.”

I muttered with a bitter smile. Was it because of my tenacious will to live, or was it simply because there were things I still needed to do that kept me unconsciously clinging to life? I sighed and turned my head. But how did I collapse all of a sudden?

“Yes, you’re still alive.”

“…Oh.”

Marianne and Daphne were sitting by the bed. I couldn’t hide my surprised expression, and I blinked. Their voices and expressions were chilly. The emotions visible on their faces were not anger or reproach but rather guilt, sadness, and disappointment.

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

I knew that the two of them would be angry. No, it was beyond anger; they would be disappointed in me. However, facing their eyes directly, my heart sank a little. It was an uncomfortable situation with no room for excuses. I scratched my cheek with an awkward expression.

“We can’t just let this slide. What if you suddenly died in that state? Were we supposed to bury you, pretend nothing happened, and go on living as if nothing happened? Why on earth were you hiding this?”

As always, it was a difficult question to answer. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Marianne and Daphne. Instead, I hadn’t spoken because I was unsure how they would feel about me once they knew my true feelings. As I pondered what to say in response, a steaming bowl was placed before me. It had a pleasant aroma.

“The Saintess… Lady Iris knows?”

There was an unknown tension in the asking voice. I nodded honestly, and Daphne sighed visibly relievedly while putting a hand on her chest.

“At least some safety measures were in place. Fortunately, it wasn’t without any precautions. So, there must have been a reason for you to keep it a secret.”

“…For now, let’s prioritize your health.”

Daphne said and stood up from her seat.

“Let’s talk about it when you’re fully recovered. Until then, focus on getting better.”

With that, Daphne left the room abruptly, leaving only the cold breeze behind. I couldn’t muster a wry smile, furrow my brows, or even sigh as I looked at the closed door. Marianne was still in the room. Her golden eyes showed a faint sign of concern.

“Your body temperature has dropped significantly. It’s essential to warm up your body first.”

Marianne pulled up the blanket to cover me. Her hand, which touched mine, felt hot.

“Your hands and feet are as cold as ice right now. Having the soup while it’s still warm would be good for you.”

Marianne brought the bowl in front of me. Just as I reached out to take it, she withdrew her hand, teasingly grabbing the spoon instead. With a gentle shake of the spoon towards my chin, I obediently opened my mouth.

The soup that entered my mouth was, of course, delicious. Marianne shoved another spoonful into my mouth whenever I tried to say something.

“Elroy, you still seem lonely. Perhaps it’s one you’ve decided voluntarily.”

Marianne spoke when the soup bowl was about halfway empty. She kept using the wooden spoon to prevent me from interrupting by keeping my mouth consistently filled.

“Regardless of the path you choose, we won’t resent Elroy. Don’t be afraid of us. When I said ‘trust us,’ it wasn’t about trust as combat operatives.”

No matter what happened, she would stand by my side.

“Our relationship between the party members isn’t so shallow. Just as you taught me what it means to live as a person, I want to show you what it means to trust in someone as a person.”

Marianne spoke with a slight uplift of the corners of her mouth. Of course, the spoon was still in my mouth. Her eyes, which had a playful mix earlier, now gazed at me earnestly.

“So, don’t try to hide your will from us.”

Marianne’s voice appeared nonchalant, but it carried a more desperate undertone than any words could convey. Her attempt to show acceptance was precarious, but she wouldn’t back down.

“Well, let’s continue with the soup for now.”

Without saying anything more, Marianne fed me the remainder of the bowl and promptly stood up. Throughout the time I was eating the soup, I observed her expression. It wasn’t an anticipating gaze, as if waiting for me to say something. It was a look of concern, wondering if I could finish the bowl, worrying that my weak heartbeat might cease.

“…”

Feeble. The cluster of mana remaining in my chest felt like a matchstick blown out by a breeze, with only heat remaining. If I could hold onto this warmth and live on, I could dispel the shadows from their faces. Live long enough to witness the lives and deaths of those close to me and, perhaps, follow them afterward.

Forget the Disasters, evil gods, and the truth. Just forget all those complexities.

I can live an ordinary, happy life, just as the Holy Sword suggested.

Perhaps I might truly find happiness. To wield all the world’s honors, travel across the entire continent, gathering people’s faith. Believing that the accumulated faith will support the Holy Sword fighting alone.

“…How pitiful.”

My words were like dissipating smoke. I am powerless until the very end.

I looked at the Holy Sword, reduced to a mere shell of what she was.

Don’t give up.

Even if everything turns into a failure, keep struggling until the end.

I rose from my seat. I forced strength into my wobbly legs. It was predetermined that I would act like this. The last hesitation that lingered within me disappeared thanks to Marianne’s words.

I had to progress further.


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