你所爱过的演剧

Chapter 159: Accepting a reality (2)

After some time, Eldrian started recovering. But he could not shake the feeling of guilt. His thoughts turning towards Vivian, and why he had come here to save her. realizing that he did not know her all that well, having only met her a month ago.

He could call her a friend, but not a close one. So why did he go out of his way to find her, Eldrian wondered.

He quickly found the reason; Because it was a game... Because it was a quest... Because he wanted to feel like a hero.

Yet now after having succeeded, he did not feel like a hero. He felt more like a corrupt businessman, or a noble, who used others for his own gain. The difference was that he could not be indifferent to the cause of his actions.

As he was struggling with his emotions, he felt alone. The more he felt this, the more he felt he had erred.

No one came to offer him support. Not because they did not want to, well Floyd and Terlas did not care. But Margit, and especially Sabrea, wanted to go over. Sabrea wanting to help, to offer her support.

Yet Zamia had stoped them both, telling them to not interfere. That this was something he had to overcome alone.

Margit backed down with such a simple explanation, but not Sabrea. She argued, saying that what Eldrian needed was a friend.

Zamia did not budge, she felt that the best thing one could do was let someone work through the hardest part on their own. Only offering help once they managed to do that.If one rushed in when they just start breaking down, then they would never be able to rebuild. This was her belief and the way she and her husband had grown.

"But... That does not work for everyone!" Sabrea countered, feeling pained that she could not offer Eldrian any help.

"True, it does not work for everyone. But it certainly works for those who are destined to become great warriors. If he can't overcome this, then I certainly can't bind him and Cephaphyr." Zamia countered, using wind magic to form her words.

"What do you mean?" Sabrea asked, confused about what Zamia was talking about. Eldrian having never shared that part with them. This was not something unexpected, which type of player would share the rewards they would gain. ANW might be much more realistic, but this mindset still persisted in many players.

"It is simple. War is coming and we have come to realize we can not sit and watch. To try and protect my son he needs to find a partner, no Alicorn would become his though. As such, I plan to bind him and Haru. As a Chosen, one who cannot die, this should protect my son." Zamia calmly replied, making sure her words made it sound like Eldrian was not even aware of the trail she had placed him in.

Sabrea was lost for words, it was the first time she had heard anything like this. She did not even understand what Zamia meant by 'bind'. But she did agree with the other statement Zamia had made, that those who become great warriors needed to get through this pain alone.

If they need support, then they might always need support. This can change, but it can also remain constant. While letting him suffer alone now would directly show how strong he is. If he did not manage to overcome it she could always offer her support then.

After some time of internal struggle, Eldrian came to one answer. Something which would have taken the risk off of the NPCs.

I need to become stronger. Much stronger, and quickly.

Having this belief did not help, he did not know how to accomplish it. It also brought another problem, if he focused on training then he would not be able to help to fight. If he fought, then he would not be able to train as hard.

But having come to this conclusion resolved his heart and lifted some of the guilt he felt. He felt he had a mission, one to help all those he knew. He did not plan on becoming a hero of the world, he did not want that responsibility.

He only wanted to become strong enough to save all those he knew. To be able to do that without placing others at risk. He did not wish to lose anyone else, even if he only knew them for a few days.

He felt that he would not be able to bear it if any of those with him now, also died.

Taking some time to recover his composure, Eldrian slowly stood up.

'Have you come to grasps with it?' Zamia asked, receiving a nod from Eldrian in return.

'Good, come with me.' Zamia said, leading Eldrian to the fountain. 'I believe you just realized what war meant. You might have thought you knew before, but now you know.'

Again Eldrian nodded, realizing that what she was saying was really true. He had thought he knew, but now he actually knew.

'I want you to look at this spring, at the streams, at the waterfalls.' Zamia said after giving Eldrian some time to recover.

Confused Eldrian did not argue, he did as she said. Looking at the spring which formed a small pond of water, from which four streams flowed to the cliffs. There they fell and form a few small waterfalls.

'What would happen if I place a stone here.' Zamia asked, using magic to pick up a nearby stone and moved it into one of the streams. The place she let it rest caused the stream to become clogged, unable to flow. Causing the other streams to receive more water as the water built up behind the stone.

'It... It will look for a new way to reach a lower point.' Eldrian replied after looking a bit, 'And the other streams become stronger.'

'And if I block it here?' She asked, moving the stone to the edge of a stream. Where it was right at the waterfall, yet it was stopped from falling thanks to some protruding rocks.

'The same... No, it tried but some of the water still leaks.' Eldrian said, almost missing the few small streams of water which made it past the rock.

'Yes, it does not manage it as well as in the first place. Now, what if I place it here?' Zamia asked as she moved the stone just past the protruding rocks, causing it to no longer have any support. In just a few seconds the stone was taken along with the water. Falling down to the pond below.

'It fell.' Eldrian said after seeing that Zamia was waiting for his reply.

'Yes, yes it did. But why did it fall?'

'Because... Because it had no support.'

'Is that all it was?' Zamai asked, prompting Eldrian to think more about this. He still did not understand quite what she was trying to do, but he would not say no to any advice. He had learned that he should be more open-minded, and he had realized that he should treat everything with his best.

'If, if we don't look at the stone as a stone. But... But as someone who is trying to change the tide.' Eldrian started, losing himself quickly in his thoughts. 'Then, then the first one was well prepared. Knowing where was the best place to stop the flow, to stop.' Eldrian did not know what the flow represented but he felt like he understood the meaning.

'The first try allowed it to stop it completely, to change the tide. The second, instead, only managed to change it slightly. While the third...' Eldrian stopped for a bit to think, 'The third was overwhelmed.'

'Well done, that is a decent analogy. But it is also only focused on the stone and its aim.' Zamia replied to Eldrian's questioning look after he had said his thoughts.

'But what about the water itself, it did not give up. On the first, it caused the other three streams to become far stronger. Meaning that in changing one tide, others became different.'

'While the second did the same, its effect on the other streams was minimal. While that on its own was great. The last instead only flowed with the tide.'

'I still don't understand. What is this supposed to mean?' Eldrian asked, hoping for an answer.

'It can mean many things. One being the effort you place into saving someone. While you might succeed, unexpected results may come from it. You must not think that all these unexpected results are bad though, some might be good.'

'I am not saying you cannot change things, I am also not saying you should not try. I am saying that things will always happen outside of your control. If you take control of one stream, then the others are free to do as they wish.'

'If you chose to save your friend, then those left behind will be without you. If you chose to stay with those, then your friend will be left alone. If you chose neither, then you are the third stone.'

Eldrian did not understand the last part, luckily Zamia continued.

'Regret is everywhere, with everyone. But the worse regret is knowing you could have done something, yet you did nothing. Always try, do not ever give up.'

'Do not lose yourself.' Zamia finished, leaving Eldrian to himself as he looked at the stream. Lost in thoughts about what she just said.

Do not lose myself... Do not lose myself... Eldrian echoed this, feeling that somehow Zamia had indicated to his two lives. One in reality... And the other in the reality of the game, another reality. But a reality none the less.

They were both important to him, and he had felt he needed to chose one. But now he realized that doing so would cause him to lose himself. He was not a person from any, one world, he lived in both now.