BXBX NOVEL Chapter 133 You Are A Monster
Harker quickly pushed him away, and rushed to get the muzzle back on his mouth. He couldn't tie it because his hands were tied, so he just pressed it there, covering his nose.
Blank only sighed and put the muzzle back on him. "I thought so. Oh, well. I won't force you to eat what you don't like."
He then laughed. "Though I'd have to warn you that I won't stop trying to tempt you again. I'm used to being rejected anyway and developed a thick skin for it."
Harker has the urge to strangle him but then that would just give him the satisfaction. He came to realize what was going on now.
"You.... Don't tell me that your teacher was your.... And you asked him to…."
Harker faltered, then shook his head. "I would never eat you, you're a human."
"So if I'm not human anymore, you would do it?" The insane man asked with a cheeky grin.
"Blank!"
"Alright, alright. Just let me wash the wounds then, it really bothers me. It's starting to scab anyway, maybe your blood is getting frozen."
Harker didn't really want to stay near this unpredictable man, especially from what he learned about him just now. He was right, there was no safe place in this world. What you thought could be trusted could just be a wolf wearing sheep's clothing.
And right now this wolf was preying on his greatest fears.
But if he showed that fear, that would just make him look easier to disarm. He can't let this crazy guy get into his head. So Harker stayed still as those hands traveled to scrub away the dirt and blood off his peeled skin.
"Have you ever told Ahanu about your….. tendencies? Your fantasies of death?" He said.
"Ahanu doesn't have to be told anything. He always knows." Blank said while paying a great deal of treating the peeled skin lightly. "There's nothing he could do about it anyway, it is what it is."
He was doing it so lightly that it tickles, and Harker had to stiffen himself up. "Since when?"
"Since when did Ahanu know? Or..."
"You know what I mean."
"Hmm... Perhaps during that day the hunters found me. When I was faced with their guns, the only thought that came over my young mind was that I hoped they would shoot me. I have seen an elder use a gun before to drive a hole in a bison's skull, though with way less finesse than the trained hunter's hand."
Blank's voice was whispering low near Harker's ear, despite no one else being present to hear his secret thoughts of his.
"I hoped that they would drive holes in my skull too. That they would end this confusing mixture of pain and numbness I feel just for simply existing. I want them to take pleasure in it too, taking claim over my life. I want them to laugh as I bleed from the bullets they shot deep within me, and remember me as the boy who never even put up a fight."
He sighed wistfully as he added: " Alas, they never did and just threw me to hell. I tried doing it myself, but it's impossible. And I find the thought of offering it up to someone else much more cathartic."
Harker scowled. "Then why are you still running from the wendigos?"
Blank just chuckled. "Normal wendigos won't do either because they're not really 'someone', more of 'something' like the animals that won't feel anything towards my noble offering. I need someone who'll feel the ecstasy of taking a willing victim."
Harker felt sick to his stomach. "You need help."
"That's why I'm asking for your help. I never had anyone agree to it, not even my beloved—"
"I mean someone to help you understand that your existence doesn't have to be painful. And that you don't have to constantly seek someone to end your life for you because you couldn't do it yourself. Someone professional who knows and understands this type of mentality…. and how to fix it."
Blank didn't say anything to this. They bathed in silence, and also dressed up in silence.
On the way back to their companions...
Blank then stopped him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You are allowed to be disgusted in me, but not to take pity on me. That's what I dislike the most."
"What happened to 'not forcing me to anything'? You can't force me to not feel something, man." He shoved that hand away.
"Then keep it to yourself, or I will make you eat your lady friend. I know that's what you dislike the most."
Harker gritted his teeth. "...Fine. From now on, I will just treat you like the little shit you are."
Joan waved at them. "Been too fucking long, you guys! You sure took your damn time taking a bath—"
She stopped, noticing the sudden animosity between them. It was so sudden that she was having a whiplash. The atmosphere had been nothing but friendly so far, what happened?
Blank's pitch black hair glistened, reaching over to his shoulders. He was not just wearing his usual clothes…
But also a familiar red jacket.
"It was hard to get rid of all the dried blood. The stream ended up looking reddish by the end." He said with his usual smile.
"That's an exaggeration." Harker scoffed.
Ahanu suddenly sat up. He rubbed his eyes, and motioned to something. Harker had been traveling enough with these two to catch a certain word and phrases. He was asking for some water.
Blank reached out to a flask that came out from his pocket. He went by his side.
"Here, we got this from the river—"
As soon as he heard this, Harker kicked the bottle far far away, spilling the reddish contents. He glared deeply at Blank.
"You're going to give your brother water that we just bathed on, with my blood? A wendigo's blood?" His veins popped up from his forehead.
Blank just blinked as if he didn't know what he's implying. "Is there something wrong with that? We have nothing else to drink, do you want to heat some snow as usual instead?"
"That's much better than a monster's bath water." Harker said, crossing his arms.
Blank was smiling wide as he went to pick up his flask that flew almost a hundred meters away. He looked at the bloody water on the ground.
"Now you accept that you are a monster. That's a start, Harker Jones. All that's left is for you to give in."