赤裸裸的滑稽故事

Chapter 734  They Were Desperate

Fiona took a slow and deep breath.

“I know,” Fiona said softly, “it’s ridiculous. I have no reason to believe it… Other than Ashleigh’s insistence that he is still out there and will return.”

Landon moved closer. Only his hand on her back touched her, but she could feel herself relaxing as the strength of his presence surrounded her.

“But I do...” she continued. “I do believe it.”

Fiona lowered her head. Her heart ached, and her stomach was in knots. For so long, she tried to deny the hope that had taken root inside her heart. She had said again and again that Caleb was gone. That he was never coming back.

But had she ever really believed it?

The truth was that as hard as she tried to convince Ashleigh to let go and move on. She was terrified of the day it might actually happen. Because the day that Ashleigh gave up on Caleb would be the day that Fiona knew, without a doubt, that her son was never coming back.

She closed her eyes, thinking back on the past three years. In the beginning, she held firm to her rational mind. There was still so much to do after the war, so much to fix and focus on. It was easy to ignore that voice deep down that dared to ask, what if he wasn’t gone? What if he could come back?

It wasn’t until Ashleigh agreed to come to the vigil that Fiona felt unease in her heart. That the true weight of losing Caleb had begun to settle over her body. She never doubted that Ashleigh would come, but the fact that she had made no argument, no last effort to stop it from happening. Fiona didn’t realize it then, but she was worried that Ashleigh had given up hope.

As she made the final preparations and welcomed the guests, Fiona struggled with all the grief she had avoided for months. The vigil had been hard for all of them, and though she said her goodbyes and made her offering, when Fiona saw the defiant look in Ashleigh’s eyes on that balcony, she felt relieved.

The crushing weight of her loss was lifted once more as she knew that Ashleigh would still bring Caleb home.

After the vigil, Fiona tried to train Ashleigh, but she never pushed too hard. She never forced her to take on any responsibility. She knew that she should. In her right mind, Fiona would have demanded that Ashleigh take her place as Luna of Summer and lead the wolves Caleb entrusted to her, just as she had when Cain died.

But she didn’t.

Instead, she took on the burden of responsibility once again. Just as before, she pushed down her feelings and needs. She focused her time and energy on rebuilding Summer so that it would be as it was or better when Caleb returned.

Except, this wasn’t like before. It almost killed her when Cain died, and she still missed him every day. But she knew he was never coming back. Having even the tiniest glimmer of hope that Caleb would return created a deep, festering wound in her heart.

For three years, every day that passed was one more that he hadn’t returned. Every decision she made was one more that he couldn’t. As time went on, Fiona struggled between the hope and reality of the situation.

When Ashleigh left to fight the monsters, the hope inside was nourished. Fiona was sure that Ashleigh had something in mind, some bit of knowledge that she kept from everyone else. Something that would lead to Caleb’s return. But after a year of reports that clearly showed Ashleigh was throwing herself into the fire, Fiona had started to lose faith.

It was the treehouse that had been the final straw.

Ashleigh had left before the tree was removed, and as far as Fiona was aware, she had not come to see it. Galen was away meeting with Axel about something relating to their alliance, and Fiona was left to make the decision and witness the destruction of Caleb’s sanctuary on her own.

The strength left her body as she stood over the empty hole where the tree had been. She fell to the ground and lost herself in the pain of what she had done. It didn’t matter that it was necessary, all that mattered was that this final connection to Caleb was gone.

The wolves had already begun to get restless. More and more, debates became arguments, which then grew into fighting.

The idea of a new alpha being brought into Summer was not new. In the past two years, Fiona had heard it whispered in the streets, written in reports, and asked directly. But in recent months, it had become a heated topic. Some shouted it as a demand, others shouted that it was blasphemous.

Galen and Fiona had only broached the subject with any seriousness a handful of times between them. Galen was utterly unwilling to consider it, saying it was too soon or there were no qualified candidates.

The infighting between pack members was growing daily. While she knew that it was getting bad, she had no idea that any wolf of Summer would be willing to reach out to an Alpha of another pack.

Fiona lowered her head in shame.

They were desperate. These wolves were suffering. They felt the stirring of their minds, the wild nature building and bubbling under the surface. They needed an Alpha to maintain their sanity, and she had denied them to maintain her own.

Fiona sighed.

“I have tried my best…” she said quietly. “I have done everything possible to rebuild and lead this pack.”

Landon moved his hand from her back to circle around her waist. He pulled gently against her, and though she did not let go of the railing, Fiona allowed her body to lean against his.

She breathed slowly through her nose, taking in his scent. Dirt, rock, and trees. He smelled of the forest, the mountain, the open air, and all the freedom it promised. Fiona closed her eyes, allowing his presence to soothe her.

“I know the pack needs an Alpha…” she said softly. “But… If I allow a stranger to take his place... And one day, he does return. How could I ever face him?”

Landon took a breath and swallowed.

“It need not be a stranger.”