赤裸裸的滑稽故事

A warm hand touched Fiona’s shoulder. She didn’t have to look to know that it was Galen. She smiled and swallowed, taking another breath.

“I’m all right,” she said.

She lifted her head and looked out at the crowd. Again, she smiled.

“Forgive me,” she said softly. “I lost myself for a moment.”

Throughout the crowd, tear-stained faces looked at her with understanding. They nodded and gave her reassuring smiles.

She looked up at the balcony, but it appeared to her as though Ashleigh was gone.

Fiona cleared her throat and continued where she had left off.

“We burn the relics as a symbol of our undying love for the one we lost… so that he may receive that warmth, while we who remain can hold on to the memory it came from,” she began, moving toward the pyre. “In this way, we hope our loved one will know we are with him until the bitter end.”

She carefully placed the picture within the crossed beams of the pyre.

“So, he knows that though this life has ended, a part of him remains in this world forever. Each person whose life he touched will hold on to that piece of him.”

Fiona brought two fingers to her lips. She kissed them and then touched those fingers to the picture.

“We honor him through our memories,” she said. “And through the flames of this pyre, we gift him those memories as a final comfort on his journey.”

With one last glance at the happy memory, Fiona swallowed and returned to the crowd.

“If there is anyone that has not made an offering, that still wishes to, now is the time,” she said. “The moon has risen, and soon we will light the flame.”

Several people in the crowd moved forward, making a line to place the final items on the pyre.

In her hidden corner up on the balcony, Ashleigh swallowed. The shock of his birthday was finally subsiding, but the hollow feeling in her chest grew with each passing moment.

She had no offering. Nor any desire to place one. If she placed an offering, wouldn’t that be the same as admitting that she believed he was dead?

But her stomach twisted in knots. If he was gone, if he truly was dead… would he know she made no offering?

She had been a witness for the scout, staying with him all night to protect and guide his journey to the Goddess. Yet, now, as her husband’s pyre was built. As everyone offered their warmth and memories to comfort his final passage. Would she truly allow him to pass from this life without any piece of her? Of them?

Ashleigh squeezed her eyes shut, her jaw clenched, and her fingers curled into tight fists. She took slow, deep breaths through her nose as she tried to calm the thundering of her heart.

It wasn’t fair.

He was still out there. She knew it. He had to be.

Ashleigh swallowed down her doubt and guilt.

“I’m not giving up…” she whispered.

Gathering her will and all the hope that remained in her heart, she stood back up and moved to the balcony’s edge. She looked down at the crowd, watching as they made their offerings, placing them carefully on the pyre and sending their prayers.

When the last offerings had been made, Fiona made a few more comments, but Ashleigh was hardly listening. Her eyes were on the torch that moved through the crowd making its way to the pyre.

It was brought down slowly, carefully. It touched just below the base of the gathered mementos and stacks of wood. From inside, the fires began to grow.

Ashleigh took a slow deep breath through her nose as she looked at Fiona and Galen. Both tried so hard to keep a calm façade in front of all these people, but she could see the heavy pain and sorrow they carried.

The crowd, which had been nearly silent as Fiona spoke, had now become a chorus of mournful wailing.

Ashleigh’s eyes scanned the bodies and faces below. Among them, not one cry or anguished expression seemed false. Every person here came for Caleb. To honor him. To celebrate him. To mourn him.

She clenched her jaw and gripped hard on the railing as she turned her eyes back to stare at the growing flames that seemed to reflect the feeling inside her belly.

“I have only one thing that I can offer to your pyre, Caleb,” she whispered, “my anger.”

A hot tear rolled down her cheek. She took a deep breath.

“I am going to find you, someday…. And when I do…” her voice shook.

She paused, lowering her head and pursing her lips. She pushed out a slow, measured breath to keep from letting go of her emotions.

“When I do…” she continued, slowly lifting her eyes to look back at the fires now consuming each precious memory offered up.

She swallowed.

“I am going to make you relive this moment with me,” she said, her voice shaking with the pain she and all that witnessed the fire felt.

She clenched her jaw tightly and sniffled as the tears fell from her eyes.

“I am going to make you see how much pain you caused by leaving us all behind…” she hissed between gritted teeth. “By letting go of my hand… after you promised, we would always be together.”

Ashleigh held tightly to the railing, gripping so hard that her knuckles were white, and her hands began to ache.

“I am so sorry….” Caleb whispered, standing just behind her.

He took a deep breath and moved closer to her so there was no more than an inch or two between their bodies. He put his hands over her shoulders, hesitating to touch her.

“You’re back now,” Ashleigh whispered, still gripping the railing. Her eyes were still looking out at the crowd of mourners.

Though this was a memory she was sharing with him, she still felt the tight grip on her heart, the ache deep in her chest, and the hollow feeling in her stomach.

The fear that lived in the corner of her mind that he was gone forever, the anger that fueled her to keep searching. It was still there. It felt genuine and fresh.

Caleb lowered his hands onto her shoulders. The warmth of his touch immediately soothed her.

Ashleigh let out a heavy breath and closed her eyes.

“I’m back now,” he whispered, leaning down beside her ear. “But I am sorry that I was ever gone. That you had to face all of this… that any of you did.”

Ashleigh glanced to the stage, where she knew Caleb’s eyes must have been drawn. Galen had his arm around Fiona’s shoulders. They both looked at the fire. They looked more tired and worn down than she remembered.

“Ash…” Caleb whispered.

She heard the soft pain in his voice. She turned her head to look up at him. There were tears in his eyes.

He swallowed.

“I want to go home,” he said.

Ashleigh swallowed and looked back out at the crowd, at the stage. She took a deep breath, her eyes resting on Galen.

“There are a few more things we need to discuss,” she whispered. “A few more things you need to know.”