Chapter 514 My Love... Is Selfish
Axel leaned forward, resting his chin on her shoulder and holding her close.
"I know," he whispered. "I know."
Alice let out a sob, quickly covering her mouth as the tears poured uncontrollably. She tried to keep herself from losing control, but it was a struggle.
"Let it go, Alice," Axel whispered. "I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere."
Alice took a shaky breath; she lowered her hand and hugged his arms around her stomach. The sobs came with force. She shook as she cried in his arms.
It seemed like an eternity before the tears stopped falling.
Axel had turned the faucet, adding more hot water to the tub. Alice lay against his chest, taking tiny breaths.
"I'm sorry," Axel whispered.
"For what?" Alice asked.
"I promised you," he said. "I promised to give you a family. But in the end, I am the reason you can't have one."
Alice closed her eyes. It hurt to hear.
She wanted a family with Axel. She wanted to see him holding their baby in his arms. To watch him become a father that was loving and tender. To see how he would teach their children right from wrong, how he would laugh and smile as he watched them grow.
It was a beautiful dream. One that she had envisioned almost from the moment she recognized him.
"I want you to be happy, Alice," Axel whispered with a pained voice, "I will do anything in my power to do that for you."
Alice swallowed, and her panic began to rise.
"I am happy," she replied quickly.
She felt his entire body stiffen at her words.
"That's the first lie you've told me," he said.
Their bodies were touching, pressed together, yet somehow, he suddenly felt so far away.
Alice chewed her bottom lip.
Axel's hands moved to her shoulders, squeezing them gently.
"We don't lie to each other, Alice, not us."
He was right. Axel was the one person she never wanted to lie to.
Alice swallowed down her fear and took a deep breath.
She gathered her nerves and turned in the tub. She was on her knees between his legs and looking at him desperately.
"I will never be happy without you!" she shouted in a panic. "So don't find someone else to give you a family, and don't send me away because you think I will resent you. I won't! I wanted a family with you! Without you, there's no point, no happiness. Nothing!"
Alice stared at Axel as she finished shouting, waiting for his reaction, licking her lips nervously.
"Is that what all this is about?" he asked. His eyes were hidden by his long hair, making it hard for Alice to judge his mood.
He turned away from her, seemingly to collect his thoughts, but Alice waited patiently to hear his response.
"I heard what you said to Myka," he said quietly. "I didn't like it, but I also didn't really think you were serious."
He let out a sigh before turning back to face her.
Axel tilted his head slightly, his hair falling away from his face, and she saw something strange in his expression. A hardness she hadn't seen before.
"You seem to be confused about something, Alice," he said, his tone colder than she expected. "I thought I had made myself clear, but it seems I was mistaken."
Alice swallowed nervously at the change in his demeanor. The gentle eyes, the warm tone, it was gone. Replaced by something more.... primal.
"Alice, I told you when I gave you that mark that once you were mine, there was no going back," he continued.
Axel reached out and pulled Alice toward him, crashing her chest against his with enough force to splash some of the water onto the bathroom floor.
Alice gasped as she looked up at him, surprised by how close his face was to hers and the heat she saw in his eyes.
"I am a decent man. I give to those I can, support my pack, and sacrifice when necessary," he whispered, his breath tickling her lips. "But my love… is selfish."
He let out a soft growl.
"I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for what you have lost," he whispered, his lips so close that she could feel the movement of each word. "But make no mistake, you are mine, and I have no intention of ever letting you go."
Alice took a shaky breath as the spark that belonged to him alone suddenly grew into a raging inferno within her. She swallowed as her throat dried, and her hunger grew. She leaned forward to kiss him, but he pulled back.
Alice let out a soft whimper of protest.
Axel smiled and turned her to sit back against him once more.
"Didn't you promise not to try anything?" he asked playfully.
Alice sighed with annoyance but didn't actually respond. Her heart and mind were at war with each other. Her natural desire to push and walk the line of playful rebellion fought against the relief she felt in the deepest parts of her heart.
Axel smiled to himself and hugged her close.
"Tell me honestly," he said, his voice filled with warmth once more. "Did you think I would suddenly change my mind about how I feel for you?"
"No, not about how you feel," she replied honestly. "But I was afraid you would try to sacrifice yourself for me. You would think I want a child more than I want you."
Axel kissed her shoulder.
"My father and sister seemed to always think that sacrificing themselves was the only way to honor your word or prove yourself," Axel whispered. "Do you wish I was that altruistic?"
Alice licked her lips as he placed another kiss closer to her throat.
"No," she said. "I told you; I just want you. And I want you for a long, long time, so sacrifice is off the table."
Axel's hands moved along her stomach to her side. They made their way up until each hand cupped one of her breasts. Alice let out a soft gasp as his thumbs gently rubbed her nipples.
Alice leaned back against his chest as the gentle touches sent sensual ripples throughout her body.
"Is there anything else you are keeping from me?" he asked, his tongue running up her throat.
Alice let out a soft moan as he squeezed her nipples.
"No…" she whispered.
"Nothing?" he asked, giving her another squeeze and a light nibble at her throat.
Alice arched her back and took in a sharp breath.
"No, nothing…" she replied.
"Then you won't run away anymore?" he asked, kissing her throat and gently massaging her breasts. "You won't hide your tears from me? Or stay out all night to avoid me?"
Alice rolled her head against his shoulder, panting as his hands knew just how to touch her breasts to get her worked up.
"No…" she whispered between breaths. "I won't… I promise."
She reached down, running her hand along his thigh, but he stopped her. Abandoning one of her breasts, he grabbed her hand and removed it from touching him.
"Tsk, tsk…" he whispered against her ear. "You promised not to try anything."
"But…" Alice whispered as the hand that had stopped her found a new task, sliding down her hip and over her thigh. "You… what are you doing?"
Axel kissed along her throat, biting gently below her jaw as his fingers slipped into her folds, and Alice let out a soft whimper.
"Me?" he asked. "I'm punishing you for doubting my love."
"I never… doubted!" she cried out as two of his fingers slipped inside her.
Axel struggled to hold back when hearing her cries and feeling her walls squeezed around his fingers. His erection was painfully hard, but he needed to feel her more. He had felt separated from her for days like a wall was placed between them.
His longing for her had grown with each passing moment, beginning before they knew that she still carried the infection. He had felt selfish for wanting to be with her, to feel the closeness between them when he knew how much she was suffering.
Having a family was a dream for him as well. But Alice, there was nothing he wanted more than her.
Her moans grew louder as he slipped a third finger inside as his thumb teased her sensitive nub, and his other hand squeezed her nipple.
As he moved his fingers inside of her, her body reacted to him, squeezing his fingers tight as her breathing grew more and more desperate, and her soft moans became loud cries.
Alice felt the growing pressure inside her. She reached out, grabbing the tub's edge with both hands to steady herself as the tension finally exploded. She shook and panted as the wave of pleasure rolled over her.
Axel removed his hand from her hot folds and almost immediately lifted her hips to line himself up with her entrance.
Still reeling from the first orgasm, Alice hardly paid attention until she felt him pushing into her. She let out a shuddering breath. Her walls still trembled and convulsed from the orgasm she was still recovering from.
Axel let out a soft groan as he pushed further inside her, feeling the tightness that clung to him.
Alice gripped tightly to the tub. She expected him to start moving right away. When he didn't, she glanced back at him.
He looked at her with hunger, his face flushed.
Alice felt a sudden rush of desire run through her, and she could see how much he wanted to feel the sweet relief of making love to her, but still, he didn't move.
"What are you waiting for?" she whispered.
"I'm just enjoying being inside of you," he whispered back.
Alice was surprised by the effect his words had on her. Feeling a hot jolt move through her when she heard them.
She licked her lips and squeezed around him. Axel grabbed her hips, holding them in place while reacting to her movement.
"Alice…" he whispered heavily. "You promised…"
Before she could respond, Axel lifted her and pulled her back down roughly. Alice cried out, gripping tightly to the tub as her already stimulated and sensitive insides felt every centimeter of his shaft plunged deep inside.
Axel pulled her back against his chest, resting one hand on her hip while the other found her breast once more.
"Keep your promise," he whispered. "And I'll move nice and slow for you…."
Axel did precisely that, rolling his hips beneath her, so he moved slowly in and out of her warm center. Alice let out a soft whimper as the pleasure inside of her grew.
"But if you break your promise," Axel whispered.
He suddenly thrust into her repeatedly. His movements used such force that the water in the tub sloshed against her chest.
Alice cried out. It was too much, a border between pleasure and pain for which she didn't have the strength.
"Slow…" she whispered back to him. "Please…"
Axel smiled.
"Let's see how good you can be…."