BXBX NOVEL Chapter 186 Deep In His Heart
The day before the wedding was filled with last-minute changes to menus, flowers, or whatever else could need to be changed.
All of it was handled by Corrine, while Ashleigh and Bell took the day to relax as they awaited the arrival of the Summer wolves that evening.
“So, do you want to know anything about Fiona?” Ashleigh asked.
“Not really,” Bell said.
“Why not?”
“Because I’m pretty sure anything you tell me about her will only add to the already sky-high anxiety I am feeling about meeting her.”
“What if I tell you she is a sweetheart who will absolutely adore you,” Ashleigh asked.
“Then I will call you a big fat liar pants because you’ve already told me she hates you.”
“Well, but I said she would love you, not me,” Ashleigh corrected.
“But if she loves me, she would have to love you because we exist on the same level of awesome.”
“That is very true,” Ashleigh laughed. “So, I guess you’re screwed.”
“Hey!” Bell threw a pillow at Ashleigh.
“In all seriousness, I think Fiona will like you,” Ashleigh said, hugging the pillow. “She’s good people. Just don’t hurt her sons.”
“I hope you’re right,” Bell smiled.
Ashleigh smiled and clapped her hands together.
“Alright, so, let’s go over this once more,” she said. “Arriving from Summer, we have Luna Fiona, Alpha Caleb, Beta Galen, Clara, and two others whom you did not give me names for….”
“Galen didn’t give me names either!” Bell laughed. “He just said there would be two more to even out the party. One of them is a friend of Clara’s, and one of them is a friend of Fiona’s.”
“A friend of Clara’s?” Ashleigh asked. “Like a friend… or a date?”.
“He literally did not get any more specific than a friend of Clara’s.”
“I bet it’s Miss Stacey!” Ashleigh shouted with excitement.
“The teacher?” Bell asked, remembering what Ashleigh had told her about trying to win over the wolves of Summer.
“Mmhmm,” Ashleigh replied. “Clara kind of did a knight in shining armor and saved her and her students during the attack.”
“I thought you saved them?” Bell asked.
“No, me and a couple of others helped them out of the fire, but Clara actually shoved Miss Stacey out of the way to keep her from getting hurt and got herself hurt instead. She was all excited about saving the girl, so yea, I’m guessing it’s Miss Stacey.”
Ashleigh was excited by the idea that Clara had got the girl, but then another realization hit her.
“Oh no…” she whispered.
“What?” Bell asked. “What’s wrong?”
“Miss Stacey is the biggest gossip in all of Summer… which means that this wedding has to be perfect.”
“I thought it had to be perfect because you love me and wanted my wedding day to be an amazing memory I will cherish forever,” Bell said with a raised brow.
“No, why would I want that? Obviously, I want this to be great so that all my efforts in Summer aren’t wasted….” Ashleigh rolled her eyes sarcastically.
“Cherished memories.…” Ashleigh scoffed dramatically. “Geez, how self-centered you are,”
Bell laughed.
“Alright, well, what is the threat to your precious reputation? Because I gotta say, Corrine has done an amazing job of pulling this thing together.”
“The wedding is amazing, and yes, it will be the best day ever for you,” Ashleigh replied, getting up from her place on the couch. “I just need to go hogtie my brother and stick him in a closet somewhere.”
“Just make sure to free him when it’s time to walk me down the aisle!” Bell shouted after Ashleigh’s retreating form.
***
Axel was genuinely happy for Bell, especially knowing she wouldn’t actually be leaving Winter.
But the wedding preparations were making him uncomfortable. So he made his way into the forest to one of the older watchtowers.
This one wasn’t used anymore, not after they found a location not far off with a better vantage and easier access for the patrolman. But it remained a place that he could go to be alone. Axel climbed the stairs to the top of the building. He took in a deep breath of cold air and leaned on the railing as he thought about the past week’s events.
With his memories no longer hidden, it was clear that Alice was his mate and that Holden, the slimy little worm, had given him that treatment.
But why didn’t he feel anything? Why didn’t they react to each other anymore?
He felt something. He must have. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have pushed. He wouldn’t have obsessed over the note that read like a lunatic’s ramblings to anyone else’s eyes.
“Shiny and new,” he sighed.
Axel assumed that meant that she was getting treatments regularly, and from what Peter had said, she was likely losing her mind.
“Found her, just to lose her…” he whispered.
“Found who?” Ashleigh asked.
Axel jumped back from the railing.
“Ashleigh, what the hell…” he said in surprise. “Trying to kill me?”
“If I wanted to, we both know I could before you noticed me.”
“That’s not reassuring,” Axel said, shaking his head. “Why would you say that? Someone asks, ‘are you trying to kill me’? You say ‘No’. You don’t say creepy shit.”
Ashleigh raised her eyebrows and laughed.
“My bad,” she said. “No, I wasn’t trying to kill you, Axel.”
“See? Not hard, right?”
Ashleigh giggled as she stretched her arms out over the railing.
“What are you doing here, big brother?” she asked.
“What do you mean?” he replied. “Why can’t I be here? Why does there have to be a reason? How’d you find me anyway?”
Axel leaned back on the railing.
“Some of the scouts saw you walking towards the woods. They said you looked a little lost,” she answered. “This is your thinking spot. This is where you usually go if something is bothering you.”
“Nothing’s bothering me,” he grunted.
Ashleigh sighed.
“Fine,” she said. “I don’t have time to drag it out of you. If you want to tell me, you know where I am. I just came to remind you to be on your best behavior tonight and tomorrow with the Summer wolves.”
Axel growled in response.
“Knock it off!” she growled back. “You don’t have to like them, and you don’t have to approve of Caleb and me. But this is about Bell, it’s her wedding, and she deserves nothing but the best from all of us.”
Axel huffed but nodded his head in agreement before resting his chin on his crossed arm, leaning on the railing.
Ashleigh turned to leave.
“Ash?” he called out.
“Yea?” she replied from the top of the stairs.
“You and Caleb…“ he began. “If, for some reason, you couldn’t feel the bond… do you think you would still know that he was your mate?”
“What a random question….” Ashleigh said.
Axel sighed.
“Just forget it.”
“No, it’s just you’ve never been curious about the mate bond before,” she said, moving back towards him. “Is my big brother getting antsy to find his mate?”
“I said forget it, just drop it.”
“Now that you’re Alpha, you want your Luna? Is that what this is?” Ashleigh asked with a smile.
“Seriously, just go away.”
Ashleigh laughed, and then she looked closer. She saw that whatever he was thinking of, was upsetting him.
“Wait,” she said hesitantly. “This… this isn’t about Bell, is it?”
“Ashleigh!” he shouted angrily.
“What!? You’re suddenly asking about the mate bond, and you look like you did after we watched that Old Yeller movie!” she shouted back. “What am I supposed to think?”
“I have told you that she has been a sister to me for six years!” Axel growled.
“Ok, ok, fine,” Ashleigh said. “My mistake.”
“Don’t you have some jerks to greet,” Axel huffed.
Ashleigh growled and turned to leave again. She stopped when she reached the top of the stairs. Looking back, she saw that he was still hunched over.
She didn’t know why he was asking, but she saw no harm in giving him an answer. She sighed.
“Even without our bond, I feel connected to him,” she said. “And I love him for who he is. The bond helped us find each other and certainly helps, but it’s still a choice.”
“That’s a nice thought,” he said. “But it doesn’t really prove anything. The bond is always there. So, it’s easy to say that you would always feel something.”
“I guess that’s true,” she said. “And when our bond was suppressed, I knew what was happening and the fact that Caleb was–”
“What?” Axel interrupted, standing up straight. “When your bond was… suppressed?”
“Yea,” Ashleigh said. “During the Alpha’s meeting.”
“Your bond was suppressed during the meeting? How? Why?”
“The pill the Alphas take, the one that Bell takes.”
Axel turned away.
“Why didn’t I think of that before?” he said to himself. “Of course, Bell takes a suppressant to help keep her safe….”
Ashleigh looked carefully at him, and then she smiled.
“Oh! I get it now…” she said. “That’s what this was about. So you were worried that Bell’s mate would somehow know about the wedding? That he would feel it or something?”
Axel looked at her confused, and then suddenly, he nodded.
“Yea… yea, that’s what I was thinking of,” he said.
“That’s really sweet, Axel,” Ashleigh smiled. “But you don’t have to worry. Bell is safe between the bond suppressant and the Priestess stuff.”
“So, the bond suppressant…” he said. “He wouldn’t have to take it?”
“No, the bond is one connection between two people. If one of them blocks it, it’s blocked.”
“And he wouldn’t feel that?” Axel asked.
“Well, I don’t know about him… but when Caleb took it,” she said. “I felt… lonely, kind of empty. Like a part of me was missing.”
‘Eat this. To remind you of me,’ Alice’s sweet voice called to him again.
Did he feel her missing this whole time? His sweet tooth had developed from sadness and loneliness. Something sweet that always made him feel better for a short time. Was this how he remembered her, deep in his heart?