妻子的秘密

There are a lot of things I would expect out of life. Many that I am working towards now. But never in my life would I ever think that while walking down the road, a random stranger would walk up to me and get down on one knee and propose to me. Yes, a complete stranger. I have no idea who this young man is, but if anything, he has special tastes. He looks to be around fifteen while I, well, I look way too young. “Why won’t you marry me!?”

Yep, this is the same question I have been asked over a hundred times now. And my answer has been still the same: “I do not need a man nor any kind of love. I just want to continue my travels in peace and quiet. How many times do I need to repeat myself!? In this past week, this is the over one hundred times you have proposed to me! Do I need to start getting violent!?” I yelled while kicking him to the side, sending him flying off into the field next to us as I stomped forward. I just wanted to get rid of this idiot!

I mean, everywhere I go, there are nice people and idiots. But the number of idiots is starting to outnumber the number of nice people. I just want to walk in peace and chat with my Mr. Blobs! Even if Mr. Blobs can’t speak, he still understands what I am saying, and due to our contract, I can kind of feel what he is trying to relate to me. Like right now, he is bobbing up and down and jiggling. He is telling me that he wants to punch that idiot too. See! Only Mr. Blobs understands me! “You’re right. Hitting him a few times would make me feel better for all the aggravation. What? Hehe, should I sick a few hundred on him? No, no. I mean, he hasn’t really been all that bad, just annoying. Since he really hasn’t caused me any harm, I can’t just go hitting him or anything. What? I kicked him for the one hundredth time? Mr. Blobs, can’t you just ignore the small details?”

Yes, only Mr. Blobs understands me. He also makes for an excellent travel companion.  Over the past week, I have gathered quite a few replications of Mr. Blob. And one thing I learned about when Mr.Blobs levels up, so do his replications as long as the replications are in the menu system. A kind of passive gain. I figure I can use my slime army as a trump card later on. If anything happens and I am outnumbered, then…. Bam!  Millions of replicator slimes casting fireballs everywhere._-.

Actually, the reason I am even replicating them is because I felt like it would be cool to stand on a battlefield, point out in front of me and go: “Mr. Blobs, I choose you! Unleash the slime apocalypse!” While my naming sense may be way off, at least it is better than some names. But I figure a huge amount of replicator slimes would be a huge help at some point, especially if they were all evolved forms. I kinda can’t wait to see what Mr. Blobs will evolve into. Only time will tell. 

But none of this will help my current situation. I know I just knocked the young man away from me, but the problem is that he keeps coming back! I have no idea why he is so stuck on me. Before this, I have never met him, nor have I ever spoken to him. It was very creepy!  “Maybe I should just run away again for a little while?” 

I let out a long sigh and activated accelerate after taking Mr. Blobs into my arms.  To be honest, I have done this before. And somehow, that same young man had caught up to me in no time at all. So I figured I would add somebody strengthening magic to the mix this time and really run as fast as I can. If he still catches up to me after this, then I do not know what I will do. All I know is that he is annoying. 

But who would have thought that just walking down a single road, I would run into such weird occurrences? I am starting to wonder if I have some kind of curse placed on me, and I just don’t know it or if the real reason my family originally moved so close to a border was to escape all the weirdos in this world. If this was really the case, then I do not blame them. I mean, who would want to live with a bunch of weirdos? 

There is another possibility that I kind of do not want to accept, and that is that I am the weird one, and the reason this is all happening is because it is perfectly natural to propose to people you have never met in the middle of a road that has nothing around it. No…. Absolutely not! This is crazy! Why would anyone do that!? And so I ran and ran. I had no choice. Escape the weirdos of the world. It is best to run by them all.

Or so I thought. “How are you ever here!?” 

“Why do you keep running!? What is so bad about me that you will not marry me!?” The annoying young man asked.

“Why would I marry a stranger!? And do not give me that we can start to get to know each other starting now, routine, because it will not fly. Let me add that if you say anything like destiny this or destiny that I will chop off your legs and make damn sure you can not follow me anymore.” Is it because I am cute? Is it!? Is this why the weirdos keep popping up? Should I smudge dirt all over my face or something!? I mean, by the looks of this young man, he looks pretty rich, so I don’t understand. But looking at his expression, that is saying, how did you know I was going to say that? I think this is not the first time he has tried to court a girl like this.  “Since you understand, please leave me alone! Because I will only say this once more and after this, I will start punching. I do not need a man, nor do I ever plan to get one. I have my own plans in life. And none of it has anything to do with love.”

What is the point of love and all that when I will probably live forever? I mean, the more I think about it, how could I deal with watching my lover grow old and grey while I do not look much different from the day we had met? To be honest, I do not think I could ever really handle that. I may have a fling here and there as I get older, but nothing serious. I mean, I can not turn into an old prune. While I have never dated or cared much about it, that does not mean that I have never dreamed of having my first kiss. 

“I….” I had forgotten that the young man was even here. “You are going to the Royal Magic Academy, yes?” 

I took a step back. How does he know this? Wait…. If he is dressed this well, then he must be a noble of some kind, so maybe he knows who I am? But even so…. “I do not think what I am doing is any of a stranger’s business. Anyway, I will be off, do not bother me again, and do not even think of proposing to me again, or I will break your legs.” 

With these words, I walked past him without waiting for his reply. I just wanted to be left alone to enjoy my journey! Hopefully, this time he will take a damn hint. I already made myself very clear! But as I was walking away, I heard the young man yell out: “I am Johan Flimsly! I am marquess Flimsly’s son! I will see you at the academy Faith Cyrilia!”

“You damn stalker!” I yelled before turning into a ray of light. I think I just had the coldest shiver in my entire life, run down my spine. So that idiot did know who I was. Was it because I was being talked about around the capital that I was suddenly being stalked by a creepy man? I will need to make sure I keep a better eye on things when I go to sleep at night. Maybe a few more barriers, more landmine spells as well. I could even put thousands of slimes around my sleeping spot to really ward any enemies away.

Well, At least this time, I think the weirdo will finally leave me alone. I just hope I can find a town here soon. I do wish to find a place to sleep for the night. I want to sleep in a nice soft bed. While I do not mind sleeping outside, it does get tiresome after a while.