Chapter 230 - Voices
After Hawisa and Osanna left to prepare her bath, Adeline sat down on her study desk again to read the birthday message that her father had sent her.
She opened the scroll and started reading the message from the top.
"Happiest birthday, my dear Adeline.
I wish I had something different to tell you on your birthday, but I don't. All I can say is the same thing that I tell you every day. That I am really proud of you and I am really lucky to have a gifted daughter like you.
I hope that you will continue to look after the Kingdom like you have been. And I pray that you will also be able to find your own happiness. Don't always run after the Kingdom and citizens, take some time off for yourself amidst your hectic schedule. It is okay to be selfish sometimes.
I am sorry for nagging you even in your birthday letter. But I cannot help it when I see you over-working yourself.
Happy birthday once again.
With Love,
Your beloved father."
Adeline finished reading the letter from her father. One sentence, in particular, caught her eyes, "It is okay to be selfish sometimes." She felt as if she had heard it from someone else before so she kept on repeating that sentence over and over in her head to remember who exactly had said that to her.
She had felt this way countless times before. She would feel as though there were holes in her memories because there were several things that did not make sense to her. She would know some things but would not know their source.
And during such times, she could not help but think that she had in fact forgotten some parts of her memories. There was this constant unease at the back of her mind that would make her feel as if she had forgotten someone important to her.
That discomfort would sometimes get so overwhelming that she would want to pull her hair and scream at the top of her lungs.
In order to keep such kinds of overwhelming emotions at bay, Adeline began to devote most of her time to work. Even after having dinner, she would return back to her workroom in the King's Court and would work on something to keep herself busy. At times, she would even fall asleep in her workroom.
And because she felt as if she had heard that particular phrase about selfishness from someone else before, she was hellbent on recalling who that was. She closed her eyes and pressed her fingers on her temples. "Come on! Remember something."
She repeated that phrase several times but to no avail. After a while, she gave up and opened her eyes.
Out of frustration, she headed to her bathhouse. Hawisa and Osanna were still preparing the herbal mix for her bath.
Osanna glanced at Adeline and seeing her restless, she assured her, "The bath will be ready in two minutes. I will call you when it is ready."
"I'll wait here," Adeline smile and watched them spread the rose petal, saffron, and dried jasmine flowers in her bath.
"It is ready now." Hawisa then walked towards Adeline and raised her hands to help Adeline take off her clothes for the bath.
But instead of allowing them to bathe her saying that it was her birthday, she outplayed them and said, "I will do it myself, Hawisa. You said that I am now of marriageable age. Don't you think I should at least be allowed to bathe on my own?"
Hawisa smiled and shook her head. "No one can win in talks with you. Okay, we will wait outside for you then. Call us after you get out of the bath."
Adeline nodded and when the maids went out of the bathhouse, she locked the door. She took off all her clothes and got inside the bathtub.
She inhaled the beautiful aroma that the water was giving off. She actively scrubbed her arms and legs and cleaned herself. And when there was nothing more left to do in the bath, she began to separate the rose petals on one side and jasmine on another. In short, she was doing anything and everything to distract herself. She was trying her best to put her mind and heart at ease.
Nothing seemed to work so she took a deep breath in and submerged herself in the bathtub. She kept on holding her breath and stayed in the water. Surprisingly, she felt really good… as if all her problems were washed away. The only thing that she was focusing on at the moment was holding her breath and everything else that had cluttered her mind disappeared.
When she felt that she could no longer stay inside the water, she placed her palms at the base of the bathtub to get up. But suddenly, she got an extreme headache. Her hands slipped and she got back inside the tub.
That was when something unexpected happened. She saw a fleeting image of a handsome man. And she heard an enchanting voice saying, "Just try to think about yourself first. Being selfish is not a sin."
She was already out of her breath but she kept on staying put under the water hoping to see that man's face clearly.
The stubborn Princess was about to pass out when she heard that same voice shouting at a really loud pitch, "Adeline!"
She flung her eyes open and sprung out of the bathtub. She inhaled sharply and looked around while having a coughing fit.
"Hello! Is anyone here?" She was looking around to see if that man was here or she was just hallucinating. She sighed and removed the wet locks of her hair from her face. As she did not see anyone inside, she dismissed that sound as her hallucination.
She got out of the tub with a sad expression on her face. After wrapping herself in the towel she opened the door of her bathhouse only to find Osanna panting and ready to bang on the door.
She creased her brows and asked, "Osanna? What happened? Why do you look so out of breath?"
But rather than answering Adeline, Osanna hurriedly barged inside the bathhouse first. She ran around and looked at each and every corner of the bathhouse.
Adeline was puzzled by that reaction from Osanna and she suspected that she was not the only one to hear that voice. But she still asked again to confirm her suspicion, "Osanna, what are you doing? Tell me what happened?"
Osanna gulped to moisten her dry throat and finally answered, "I heard a man's voice shouting your name. And I was afraid that a man was peeking at you when you were bathing. So I was worried and I ran as fast as I could." She suddenly grabbed Adeline's hand and asked, "There was no one here, was there?"
"You heard a man's voice?" Rather than answering Osanna, Adeline was lost in her own thoughts.
Adeline felt a tingle in her heart. She was not sure whether she was scared or excited when Osanna confirmed that she was not imagining that voice. But what she was sure of was that she liked this feeling.
If that voice was indeed real then she thought that the man in her nightmare was also real. Both the voices sounded similar.
She didn't know why or how he was hiding from her. She didn't know if she knew that man and if she had forgotten him somehow.. But she was now determined to find that man no matter how hard she had to look for him.