BXBX NOVEL Chapter 183 - Let Go Of Us
RECOMMENDED SONG: Without Me By Halsey ~?
The burning question was oblivious as Ethan felt a part of him turning frozen after hearing out her question.
Did he say something so unforgivable?
He couldn't understand but the shattered pain behind her unblinking eyes confirmed his thought. He pursued his lips together but nothing came out when the girl viewed him in a distant glance.
Retreating his feet together, he paused in his spot and faced her fragilly as if a prisoner was waiting for his last-minute of death.
Ethan's blank expression made easy for Athena to spit out every anger, frustration, pain that were flooding through her mind. Holding back the uncontrollable choking behind her dry throat, Athena continued breathing rapidly,
" What about us?? You want me to wait for you so that one day you can blame on me for bringing unnecessary troubles in your life?"
Ethan's face turned pale as he could hear his aching heart sinking into the depth of ocean. Toughing his composure, he responded abruptly,
" Athena.... when.. when did I say that? I was.. just.."
His words were incomplete when Athena silenced his voice lifting up her hand in the mid air. Her eyes were red, moisty as if she was suppressing her pain and anger at the same time.
She pushed away all the questions behind and asked in a husky voice as her rigid eyes met Ethan's downcast expression,
" Where is my child?"
Ethan sucked a deep breath as her distant tongue hit the core of his throbbing heart. Blinking for a while, he whispered lowly,
" She..she is safe..We have protected her in every possible way.."
Athena nodded her head blankly and took a bite from her bottom lips. Lowering her gaze down, she demanded coldly,
" I would like to see her now."
Ethan swallowed hard as his gaze met the sight of her painful expression. Sighing softly, he answered softly,
" Not today! Once I ascend the throne and change the law of our world, I will bring her to you. It's not safe for her to leave the place that she is staying right now. You have to trust me that I will never hurt her. Just wait for a few days and everything will be settled. Also I will ask for your hand from your family in front of everyone."
Athena didn't answer back instantly instead her lips formed into a bitter smile that shuddered Ethan's mind violently. Looking up at the man who was waiting for her answer, Athena smiled before speaking calmly,
" Then..I..I am afraid that I have to wait for eternity to meet my own child."
Ethan drew a painful breath and replied suspiciously,
" What.. what do you mean exactly? Say it clearly."
Athena inhaled a lungful airs, her stomach tightened into a knot as she spitted out each words after fighting with herself hardly,
" Let go of us,Ethan..!! "
Ethan was dumbstruck as he kept staring at her face like a long lost child. Before he could bring peace to her aching heart spating some peaceful words, Athena continued breathing rapidly,
" I can't be ever pure in your eyes. Today or tomorrow, you will watch me with those murderous eyes that I can't stand. I have already broken enough and I can't let myself broken again. First time, it was my mistake but this time, it is my choice."
She paused between her words as her flared eyes watched the man turning statue eventually. Mustering up the bit of courage that was left inside Ethan,he mumbled incoherently unable to believe her words,
" Athena...I was angry at that time..It wasn't intentional.. You know me, don't you?"
Ethan barked and looked through her gaze impatiently wishing that it would turn out to be a joke from her. This time, Athena laughed, a laughter that contained only scorching pain behind it,
" Do I? Even I question myself today. Do I exactly know you Ethan Chole? Do I exactly know the person who kept watching me getting pained for my child still he chose to keep mute?"
Ethan kept staring at her expression and felt himself drowning deeper and deeper. He didn't know how much he hurt her but he couldn't deny the fact that his mind let go of every grudges from Athena.
Ethan had nothing say as his gaze filled in guilt wandered here and there around the shabby study room. Athena smiled bitterly watching him falling in silence as she paced on his way slowly.
Once she reached in front of him, Athena choked for a moment before whispering bitterly,
" Can you look through my eyes and confidently say that you won't ever blame me for your brother's death?"
The answer was definitely another dense silence from Ethan who had to lower down his gaze in order to hide the uneasiness. He wished that he could say yes but deep down, he was aware of his own thoughts. He could hurt her feelings in every possible way just like he did today after loosing the control from his own rage.
Athena smiled stumbling backwards as her eyelids felt heavy to blink. Dropping her gaze down to the floor, she murmured lowly,
" How can you love someone when you have so much hatred for the same person?"
She questioned much likely herself and sucked a painful breathing in her entire life. Looking up at his way, she resumed shaking her head lightly,
" If we continue like this, at the very end only both of us will suffer, Ethan. I want you to forget everything so that our sweet memories don't turn into nightmares."
Ethan couldn't utter a single word as her each words stabbed like a sharp arrow in his heart. He hoped that he could tell her proudly that he wouldn't hurt her feelings ever. But he was aware of his own turbulent feelings. He knew that his rage was far more superior than his love. He needed to choose a side but his burning rage had overpowered his love completely. He had only one decision left in his hand to follow the wishes of Athena.
Athena didn't utter anymore words and started walking pass of him to head outside. As she took two unhurried steps, Ethan's cracky voice forced her to halt in her track,
" Is..Is that what you really want?"
Athena jolted lightly before spating painfully,
" Yes,at least we won't hate each others anymore. As for my baby, I will wait for your next command."
Ethan's body turned stiff and he could feel his heart wrenching in so much pain. But he couldn't hold back the woman forcefully anymore who was willing to leave him.
After a moment of silence, he whispered painfully,
" All right! "
Athena couldn't wait any longer and murmured before scurrying away hastily,
" I am happy that I have met you, Ethan."
The last words were simple but carried the weight like whole universe. Athena quickly stormed outside to avoid anymore moments with him but was suddenly stopped midway by a voice coming from her back,
" Hello Princess!"