先性后爱 电影

How long would she keep feeling this pain that would not stop creeping into her heart and mind without warning? Suddenly, she could not breathe, like a fish, unexpectedly thrown into the land without a water source, gasping for air.

Just when she thought she was getting better. Her heart would abruptly stop, then an incredible pain would grip her tightly, rendering her immobile, unable to move, think or feel.

She just felt like dying.

Dani watched her mother in this state, only feeling probably half of what she felt. She could not imagine what her Mom was experiencing, knowing the pain she was personally going through.

“Mom, shall we go home?” Dani concernedly asked after the burial ceremony had ended.

Laura had cried non-stop just sitting on her chair as she watched her husband drop down gradually six feet under the ground.

.....

She doubted if her mother had heard or understood most of what had happened earlier. She did not, so how could she. All she saw was the last glimpse of her father’s face. And her last chance to be with him.

Then, he was gone forever, covered with the muddy dark dirt that would remind them that he would never return. Not ever. But with a tomb bearing his great name, reminding them of the marvelous husband and the best father lying underneath their feet.

“Can you give me just a few more minutes?” Laura finally looked at her with a smile, wiping her wet face with the handkerchief. As if she had finally recovered from the devastation of losing her husband just like that.

But her eyes would never lie to her. It was a facade, a self-preservation mechanism of the mind and the body to pretend that she was ok. But soon, when she was alone, she would again break down and cry.

Well, that was the truth. That was how people usually cope with tragic events in their lives. Some managed it well, but others succumbed to their sorrows and never recovered.

“Ok, Mom. Just a few more minutes.” Dani stepped away from her, moving to stand next to her husband, who was waiting for them. Jacky, Marcus, Gerald, David, and even Evan were there. And, also waiting.

Many had arrived to pay their last respect to her father but had already left the vicinity, leaving just them and their closest friends. She was glad because it gave her mother the time she needed to say goodbye to her father.

How many goodbyes could one say to the person who had been with them for more than half their life? She guessed not one or two but as many times as she could say it.

It was like saying I love you. There was never more than enough. Say it as much as could be said because the time will come. It would be too late to say it.

“Do you think Laura would ever be ok?” Alex asked, knowing how difficult it was to lose someone. She could understand his apprehension. Her mother had never been without her father.

It was like her experience. She had never been away from Alex for a long time. Would she be able to cope if something similar to this would happen to them?

She did not want to imagine because just thinking about it was already painful. What more if she was going through it just like her mother?

“I have no idea. But I could only hope so.” Dani turned to her husband, gazing into his face as he stared at her father’s tomb.

She could only wonder what was going through his mind. What was going through all these people’s minds? As her eyes finally roamed around, taking on the place. Then, she saw the faces of their friends and her brother for the first time.

Everything that happened next had been all a blur for her. The wake that followed after the funeral was like a celebration. It was a tribute to the man that had touched countless lives.

“Thank you for joining us.” She told several people who she could hardly remember their names. She knew them. It was just that her mind was preoccupied with something else.

She had no idea how she managed to smile and laugh, thinking that it was what her father would want, but all she wanted to do was shout her frustration and yell at the world.

Watching her mother entertain their guests was more painful than seeing her cry. She guaranteed that her mother was more likely to feel just like her.

“Do you want something?” Alex asked, always at her side, ready to give everything she would need.

Truthfully, all she would like to do was to run away and escape to an empty room and cry herself to sleep until she could dream that her father would be alive and would like to join her for dinner.

It would have been the perfect way to end this nightmare.

“No, I am good.” She responded as they moved on to the next guest.

But her Mom was adamant that she would do this the way her father would want to see them. She would celebrate his life, how much he had a great life, with their family and friends who had known and loved him.

She wondered if that was false bravery or if her mother just had some form of super-strength because, at the moment, she was struggling. But just like her, she had to push through.

Luckily, she still had Alex as her support. She could only hope that she would also acquire the same strength her mother had when the time came that she would need it.

“Mom, would you mind if we stay here for the night? I am just tired. I don’t want to drive back to the city.” Dani asked her mother.

She was indeed exhausted. She could hardly stand on her two feet, but more than that, she just wished to be close to the only remaining parent she had.

She did not want to leave her side. She only wanted to be her little princess again. Even for just one night.