BXBX NOVEL Chapter 26: Being Handsome is a Problem (1)
Chapter 26: Being Handsome is a Problem (1)
“This is it.”
“No way! Please give me your real ID.”
“That is my real ID!” Lee Gun slammed his hand against the desk in frustration. He had come to a holy item trading center at the Gangnam station. It was the biggest market in Korea.
Lee Gun had come here for a simple reason. It was what had happened at the Archer’s holy ground.
***
“Hey, Oh Taeksoo.”
“No. Don’t pay attention to that. Also, I want you to uninstall that game.”
Lee Gun turned to look at Hugo with a baffled expression. Hugo had been acting anxious since the previous day. Lee Gun had caught him hiding his family photos for some odd reason. So, he kicked Hugo as a reply.
“I’m not talking about the game, idiot. I’m talking about this.” Lee Gun was holding a monkfish. It flopped in his hand. “Can you hear this ugly bastard?”
Yang Wei, who had been put inside a fish, almost cussed. Of all the people in the world, Lee Gun was disparaging his looks!
In the times gone by, the Archer Saint was famous for being the most handsome amongst the twelve Saints. He had taken great care of himself over the years, so he currently looked like a Hollywood actor. However, Lee Gun was different.
‘He was the ugliest amongst the thirteen.’
There was a good reason people made fun of Lee Gun for being ugly.
‘Also, he was bald!’
Hugo sometimes questioned why Lee Gun was popular. However, that wasn’t important right now. “Uh? It’s faint, but I can intermittently hear its voice.”
“Oh! This must be effective then.” Lee Gun laughed as he looked at a yellow ribbon.
<Ribbon Containing Serpent Bearer’s Power> Rank C
This ribbon contained the “13th Sense” skill. Anyone favored by the Serpent Bearer could temporarily use it. The effect would disappear when the person would separate from the holy item.
– 13th Sense Applied: Hear voices of souls
While making an accessory, Lee Gun had tried to imbue his skill into a ribbon and this was the result.
‘It’s a low-rank item and unstable, but it should be ok.’ Lee Gun satisfactorily tied the ribbon around the monkfish’s head. The fish looked pretty. It was also a bizarre sight where Yang Wei was wrapped like a gift.
“Alright, asshat. You said you know who the owner of the knife is, right?”
“!”
Lee Gun took out the knife that had been the reason he fell into the trap. The engraved design on the knife, which he had never seen before, bothered him. “You said you saw this knife at a brokerage warehouse. I’ve given you enough time to go over your account books.”
“I couldn’t find the information! The books during the period when the knife was stored are gone!”
The words surprised both Lee Gun and Hugo.
Hugo, who had his arms crossed, reacted as his eyes flashed. “If you think you can get away with a half-assed excuse like that…” A light flashed in his eyes as wild magical energy erupted from his body. It was the power of a Saint, and the ground started to shake
Boom!
The ferocious magical energy frightened Yang Wei. Even if Hugo had fallen from grace, he was a high-ranking Saint.
“Why would I lie when I’m in your holy ground! They are really gone! All the records during that period are gone!”
“Do you think such a lie would work on me?”
“It’s fine. He isn’t lying,” Lee Gun suddenly said.
“!”
He tapped Hugo’s shoulder. The Saggitarius’s angry magical energy dispersed in a peaceful manner. This surprised Hugo. His patron god had a very bad temper, yet he calmed down very quickly.
Lee Gun waved a piece of paper as if it weren’t a big deal. “If he lies, he’ll immediately be reborn as a maggot.”
This term was included in the holy contract that Lee Gun had made Yang Wei sign.
“Then…”
“This bastard’s records books are his holy items. If those were stolen, there’s a high probability that the Thief Saint took them.”
“That’s right! I don’t know anything. That is why…” Yang tried to explain.
“Today’s dinner is steamed fish.”
Yang Wei screamed when Lee Gun tried to cut open his stomach. “N-now that I think about it, I’ve seen them before!”
“Where?”
“Great Auction! They were sold in the Great Auction by a mere F rank User. This is why I remember it vividly!”
Hugo was surprised. “Since it appeared in the Great Auction, I’m sure an SS rank Appraiser appraised it.”
It meant the scope of the investigation had considerably narrowed.
“An SS rank Appraiser?” Lee Gun asked.
“He’s quite famous, but he’s currently missing…”
Lee Gun laughed as he glanced at the holy items he had created. ‘An Appraiser…’
***
That was why Lee Gun had come to the holy item trading center.
He laughed. ‘I can make this work.’
The holy item trading center was located in a large commercial district. Since it was a place where one bought and sold holy items, this place was filled with appraisers. Of course, SS rank Appraisers weren’t guaranteed to be found here, but that didn’t matter.
Why?
<Holy item made by the Manufacturing Saint sold for 300 million dollars>
<After breaking through the 1000:1 competition rate, the general of the European Taurus temple acquired it with much fanfare>
‘I wonder how much my items are worth.’ Lee Gun’s eyes twinkled. His bank account had never exited the negative balance. Moreover, this was a great chance to measure his weapons and himself against the market. ‘I also have to acquire ingredients if I’m going to make more weapons.’
If Lee Gun could sell the holy items that he stole from Yang Wei, he would be killing two birds with one stone.
‘According to the information I received, this place also has stores privately owned by the twelve Saints.’ Lee Gun grinned like a terrorist. This was the reason he had come to the market in secret. He didn’t want his friend, who was the king of nagging and worrying, to know about what he wanted to do.
However…
“You can’t enter the market with those goods.”
“…”
Lee Gun, who was holding his passport, had a sour expression on his face. He had just shown the guard his passport. It seemed Hugo had kept it in storage for the past twenty years. The passport had expired, but Lee Gun had brought it here just in case it might be useful.
“You need a badge to enter the holy item trading center. It’s important to verify everyone’s identity. Still, that’s a really well-made Lee Gun-nim merch. Why don’t you sell it to me?”
“…”
It wasn’t merch, but that wasn’t the problem. Lee Gun had revealed his identity for identification purposes, but it was futile.
“Junior,” the guard looked at him and said.
Lee Gun looked at the guard with a baffled expression.
“I understand your intention, but Lee Gun-nim isn’t as handsome as you.”
“…”
In the end, Lee Gun was denied access at the lobby. He grew serious. Being handsome was a problem in itself too! In fact, he was told that a couple hundred Lee Gun imposters had tried to enter the marketplace saying they were Lee Gun.
“You are the most handsome one so far,” the security guard complimented him for his accurate voice mimicry and lines, then shook his hand.
‘Shit! What kind of a problem is this?’ In the end, it couldn’t be helped.
Brrrr!
‘!’
Suddenly, the phone that Lee Gun had stolen from Hugo started ringing. Lee Gun answered the call and immediately started a verbal assault. “Hey, what the hell is a badge? Why can’t I sell anything without it? Do you want me to destroy your house?”
Instead of a greeting, Hugo got a verbal assault. The development surprised him initially, but it didn’t take him long to laugh in derision.
– What the hell? You went there to sell items?
“Whatever! What is this badge?”
The question made Hugo cackle.
– Even the mighty Lee Gun got stopped there.
“Hurry up and answer me.”
– The badge is a form of ID for disciples. It gives you access to certain places, and it’s where the rented skills can be stored. The engraving, shape, and function vary depending on the gods. FYI, the Archer Saint’s badge is shaped like a clock.
“Basically, it’s a licensed holy item… So how do you acquire it?”
– You have to take an aptitude test.
An odd look appeared on Lee Gun’s face. “Test?”
– Yes. A test to see if you are qualified to wield your power or you have to be accepted by a construct.
Lee Gun was baffled at why people had to jump through such a hoop, but in the end, he laughed in derision. “That sounds easy. It means I just have to beat up a construct, right?”
The words surprised Hugo.
– Hey. That’s not what…
However, he suddenly stopped. He thought it might work If the person doing it was Lee Gun.
Lee Gun felt the same way. He made an invidious remark. “Good. If I have to, I’ll just beat up one at the nearest shrine…”
Hugo cut him off.
– If you can reach that point, it might be possible.
“?”
– There are too many applicants, so the country does a round of tests first. You have to pass that first.
“…!”
In the end, Lee Gun would have to take a test.
– I could help you out. I do have an informal way of making it happen.
Lee Gun’s face brightened. “Oh. Thanks. Give me one…”
For some reason, Hugo sounded smug.
– It doesn’t get issued for free. Even if it’s an informal way, you need to take a test. There needs to be a paperwork trail. Even the great Lee Gun can’t avoid that.
“…”
Lee Gun’s eyebrows twitched.
Hugo sounded like he was having the time of his life. He was excited because it was rare to have an upper hand on Lee Gun like this. The informal test would be taken the next day…
“It’s fine.”
– What?
“I don’t need to take a test,” Lee Gun said.
Hugo laughed in a triumphant manner.
– Really? You need the badge to—
“Why would I go through all that?”
– What?
Lee Gun laughed in a bright manner. “I just have to repurpose a license from someone near me, right?”
Silence flowed. Then Hugo exploded. He sounded very flustered.
– Wha… what? What did you just say?
“Since the rental skills are stored in there, it’s a win-win for me. I’ll let you get back to work. Adios!”
– Hey, Gun! I misspoke! I’ll just make one for—
Click!
The call ended.
“……#$*&!” Hugo hit his head against the wall. It seemed he was the idiot.
* * *
It was unknown as to how much time had passed.
[A string of robberies is happening inside the holy item trading market. I’m repeating this information once again. A…]
Unrest rose within the market.
“My god! It’s a robbery!”
“Did they identify the robber?”
“They don’t know his identity.”
“From what I heard, he stole from a Cardinal rank disciple!”
“Is it perhaps a calamity?”
“It has to be a Red zone ranked monster at the very least if it was able to defeat a Cardinal rank User!”
The warning of robberies spread through the holy item trading center as the unrest spread.
At that moment…
“What? You can’t buy this item?”
Lee Gun was inside the appraisal center located on the third floor of the holy item trading center. While the others were comparing him to a red zone rank monster, Lee Gun was furrowing his brows.
He hadn’t been able to find a suitable target, so he had decided on a duo who were up to no good. Of course, some righteous foreigner had appeared in the process and thought that Lee Gun was with the duo. He had decided to beat up all three of them.
In the end, Lee Gun had legally(?) extracted compensation money and acquired a badge. It allowed him to enter the holy item trading center. However, he was confronted with another problem.
“Why can’t you buy it?” he asked.
“Even if our Saint shows up, it will be impossible.” A young appraiser pointed toward the Sheep Saint’s holy items.
“The best I can do is buy all the items for three thousand dollars. They are low rank, but good quality items. However…” The young appraiser sighed as he looked at the wooden doll amongst the holy items. “This item is not certified by the twelve Saints… I don’t know if buying this with good money is worth it…”
The appraiser showed reticence when it came to an item made by Lee Gun. Of course, the item wasn’t some amazing item. Lee Gun had made it while watching a drama. He had done it as a pastime.
“You should still appraise it properly,” Lee Gun said.
The appraiser sighed and said, “It isn’t as if the rank one Manufacture Saint made this item. Even the rank C Users on the streets won’t buy this.”
Two Saints wanted Lee Gun’s item very badly, yet this appraiser was talking about rank C beings.
“Above all else, the design is pretty bad, and its ability is to purify the air. I’d rather use an air purifier appliance.”
Lee Gun pouted. ‘The world has improved. They have air purifier appliances for homes now.’
In the end, he was about to turn around with a sour expression.
“Why don’t you take this opportunity to open a phone?” the appraiser suddenly asked.
“Phone?”
“Yes. From what I see, you have an old model phone. In truth, our store is affiliated with phone carriers for awakened beings. If you open up another line, you can get the latest phone for free. We can give you a better price on your items. I’m willing to give you 400 dollars for the muscular female warrior sculpture.”
“Oh.” Lee Gun had made that item because he had been bored. It seemed he would be able to make a quick buck selling it.
“Of course, the subscription fee is free. As you probably know, there is a lot of competition in this space, so we are giving out these phones at a loss. This is an opportunity for you.”
The appraiser would be able to sell his items, and Lee Gun would acquire a new phone. It was a decent deal since Lee Gun was using his friend’s phone right now.
‘Let’s see if this deal is real!’
Lee Gun checked the contract. He didn’t see anything wrong with it.
The young appraiser read Lee Gun’s expression. Laughing, he handed him the phone and the contract. “If you like the deal, you can sign here…”
Suddenly…
“Why are you trying to cheat him?”
“!”
Someone stood next to Lee Gun. The voice was familiar to him. He had heard the voice from the game he played. Moreover, the voice seemed similar to that of the character Hugo had wanted him to erase for some reason.
“That is a TKBM handphone. I wouldn’t take it even if it’s given out for free. I’m pretty sure all these phones were recalled.”
The appraiser scrunched up his face.
The voice continued, “These holy items should be worth over 300 thousand dollars. Moreover, if the wooden sculpture really purifies the air, it’s a valuable item that most Cardinal rank Users are searching for.”
“…!”
The appraiser broke out in a cold sweat as he looked at Lee Gun. The woman didn’t pay attention to him as she said to Lee Gun, “This is where the appraisers gather, but most of them are swindlers. If you want talented appraisers, you have to go to the Integrated Exchange.”
“Integrated Exchange?”
The woman was kind enough to point out a map on the wall behind her as she left. The exchange looked like a messy and large labyrinth. It seemed one could use a teleport in this building to reach a world exchange market.
When Lee Gun glared at the appraiser, the appraiser yelled at him, “Go! Whatever! You won’t be able to reach that place today anyway.”
“?”
“The Saintess is making a trip there. Everyone in the exchange market will flock to her.”
“Saintess?” Lee Gun snorted.
‘Such a place exists?’ Lee Gun hadn’t come across the information in his research.
“Needless to say, she probably has business with an SS rank appraiser there.”
The light in Lee Gun’s eyes changed. “Oh! There is an SS rank appraiser there?”
When Lee Gun showed interest, the young appraiser laughed in a mocking manner. “Hmmph. You won’t be able to meet him. He is a proud man that even Saints have a hard time meeting.”
When Lee Gun showed signs of wanting to go to the Integrated Exchange, the young appraiser snorted. “You look like an amateur. I doubt you have enough money to enter the Integrated Exchange. It has been a while since I’ve come across an easy prey!”
Kwahng!
“Ahhk!”
Lee Gun let out a cold laugh as he kicked open the shop’s door.
“Pick one of the two.”
“What?”
“Inside or outside..”
What?