Chapter 71 - SEVENTY ONE: Tiny Ray Of Sunshine
"Um, Sir Roland-"
"The princess already has friends!" A third voice suddenly chimed in before she could properly answer.
A feeling of dismay settled over Kel as an arm slung itself around her shoulders. She glanced at Roland, and it seemed the same feeling had filled his eyes as well.
"There's no way you'd be a better confidant to the princess than me," the man spoke again. Turning to Kel, he added sweetly, "Princess, come to me if you ever need anything, ok?"
"... Sir Thane," Roland nodded. "I believe that's a rather bold assumption for you to make."
"It's not an assumption!" Thane cried. "It's the truth! How could you doubt me, Roland?!"
As the two knights argued as to whether Thane was indeed Kel's closest friend or not, she wished desperately that she could disappear. The last time she'd received so much attention from soldiers was when she last set out from Mevani and her companions had just discovered that she was the princess's secret double.
Even then, however, they'd only been interested in the actual princess and not Kel herself.
"Ah, look! Ira is a good friend to the princess as well!" Thane suddenly brightened as he caught sight of the emperor's main advisor approaching.
Roland scowled in response while Kel sighed. Adding the grumpy spectacled man to the mix was sure to make this situation even worse.
"Ira!" Thane called out.
Surprisingly, Ira strolled over to the group without so much as a single snide remark.
"You and I are both good friends with the princess, right?" Thane demanded, shooting Roland a smirk.
Ira studied all three of them, Roland standing with his arms crossed, facing a satisfied looking Thane still clinging to the perturbed Kel.
"Aside from that," the advisor rolled his eyes, "aren't the two of you putting this woman in a difficult place?"
"We would never do so!" Roland exclaimed, eyes flashing.
"Exactly!" Thane nodded vigorously. "Why would you even say such a thing!?"
Pressing his palm into his forehead, Ira let out a slow breath.
"Imagine with me for a moment, you two," he commanded. "Say the princess doesn't consider either of you as her friends and doesn't actually want to be friends with you.."
He put up a hand to quickly silence the protests from both knights.
'I'm saying if that were the case," he continued, "how would she feel now? It's clear she doesn't want to embarrass either of you which is why she's stayed here listening to this nonsense for this long. So how exactly should she respond to these unwanted advances?"
"U-unwanted advances?" Thane stuttered. "I-I didn't mean-"
"Of course you didn't," Ira sighed. "But that's how things turned out, so you best release that woman and let her on her way immediately."
His lips pursed into a perfect pout, Thane reluctantly slid his arm off Kel's shoulders. He hung his head like a scolded puppy as he offered whimpering apologies.
For the first time since she'd met the man, Kel felt a surge of gratitude for Ira. She mentally forgave every single one of his past scoldings as she bid polite farewells to the men and headed back toward her original destination.
"Don't forget, Princess," Roland murmured as she brushed past. "I'm here any time.. If you need someone.."
"I'll keep that in mind," Kel responded without pausing.
"Me too!" She heard Thane calling after her as she rushed down the hall.
Though Ira was the only one of the three who actually understood her feelings in the situation, she still felt a kind of warm prickling in her chest as she approached the library.
After Barclay's passing, everything had seemed so dark and contorted. She'd blazed forward the best she could, fueled entirely by emotions she didn't understand or have control over. The idea of Thane and Roland both insisting on being her friend, and not just a friend but a person to rely on, felt like a tiny ray of sunshine shining behind her eyes.
Though she knew clearly that they were offering such good will to the hostage princess of Mevani and not Keliyah, the orphan palace guard, even that knowledge couldn't entirely douse the warmth of their kindness.
Feeling somewhat cheered compared to her earlier mood, Kel swung the library door open.
Inside, a second ray of sunshine stood muttering to herself as she sorted through a pile of books.
"Oh my! Hello, dear!" Lila called, roused by the clicking of the door.
"Hello, Lila!" Kel smiled.
Soon, both women were seated comfortably in front of steaming cups of tea, brewed by Lila, and discussing Kel's latest confusions.
It was a stroke of luck on Kel's part. She had no original objective in coming to the library and was overjoyed at finding someone to confide in.
"And so you see," she finished explaining her dilemma, "I just can't stop thinking about that certain person."
"Hmmm," Lila mused, bringing her teacup to her lips. "And this is the same person you were extremely angry at not long ago?"
"I don't think 'extremely angry' quite covers it.." Kel responded quietly, thinking of the days spent planning a gruesome revenge plot. She'd left most of that part out when relaying her story to the librarian.
"Correct me if I'm wrong," Lila speculated, "but isn't the emperor we're speaking of? The same emperor whose personal guard division did away with your comrade?"
Kel sunk into her seat. Lila wasn't wrong.
The emperor hadn't ordered his men to do it, and he was definitely upset about the whole incident… but did that make it ok for Kel to have these decidedly un-revolting feelings toward him?
Would Barclay forgive her for forgiving the people of Serin so easily?
It's not that she wasn't angry anymore or that she didn't want him to be avenged, she just wasn't sure who to blame. Over the course of the last several days, among other things, she'd realized that people she had such a clear idea of were ions different than she could have imagined.
Dash had betrayed her.
She had been so certain of it. He was someone who would sell off his childhood friend simply because his country asked it of him. But when she laid a plan before him to take down that same country, he ended up agreeing to help her.
The Dragon Emperor was dangerous.
It was another fact she had been convinced of. Yet when he had more than enough reason to send her to her death, he laughed instead and even supposedly cared for her when she fell ill.
Even Roland, Thane and the irritable Ira all managed to surprise her on her way to the library.
How could she be sure of anyone's true character anymore?
"I do suppose, however," Lila continued, "that Sir Barclay is mainly to blame, considering he was the one trying to follow you and the emperor to that clearing."
Wait.
Since earlier, the strangest feeling had been itching at the back of Kel's mind. She'd brushed it off at first, since Lila was a person who possessed more knowledge than almost everyone she'd ever known.
But no matter how much she knew about Serin and the Dragon Emperor, how could she have possibly known the reason Barclay was in the forest that day?