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Lucius the First was the very first person who recognized her as someone worthy. He accepted her as a knight and treated her with the utmost respect. He was her savior, which meant that she could not help but be loyal to him.

To Poliana, Lucius the First was a hero. He was her god. She, however, did not think her loyalty for the emperor was overdone. She believed that every knight in the kingdom felt the same way about Lucius the First as her. Of course, she was mistaken. Sir Ainno and Poliana were notorious for their unusual devotion to the emperor; most people thought it was more like an obsession.

The point was, Poliana finally thought she could understand how Lucius the First must’ve felt that night when he told her to leave his room. She felt exactly the same way at this very moment.

The person you trusted and treasured the most… Even if this person was the most important person in your life, there were things you wouldn’t want to show about yourself. Poliana wanted the emperor to see only the best side of her, the side he helped her to achieve.

Poliana was a close friend of Rebecca. They talked about everything, including things that were raw and ugly. They shared their worst sides to each other. This was possible, not because their friendship was deep, but because their relationship began this way. Because Poliana was in awe of her emperor, she wanted to show only the best side of her to him. She wanted him to be proud of her. She wanted him to think she was perfect.

Of course, there were times in the past when he saw her drunk, but… That was insignificant.

‘What happened today… This isn’t right.’

Poliana was afraid that the emperor would now see her as a woman who was desperate for men. At this very moment, she wanted to be alone. She wanted everyone in the world to leave her alone. She needed to be by herself.

And if she couldn’t be alone in this world… At the very least, she wanted Lucius the First to leave her. It wasn’t that she was rejecting him or hating him. She still loved him more than ever. She just didn’t want him to see her like this. She was so humiliated, and she felt guilty.

Poliana found it difficult to look Lucius the First in the eyes. If she hadn’t been feeling so lonely, especially after that night when the emperor asked her to leave… None of this might have happened.

Trying to snap out of her thoughts, Poliana slapped herself again.

Slap!

‘How dare I try to blame his highness for this mess! I am the worst.’

Lucius the First jumped again. He was used to seeing her assaulting various plants and buildings, but never herself! This was not acceptable!

“Sir Pol, you must stop.”

“I’m sorry, your highness.”

Poliana’s cheek reddened. She knew that it would swell or bruise by tomorrow morning. Hesitantly, she asked, “How… How did you know?” Her voice was weak. Lucius the First was conflicted. Should he tell her the truth? That her adopted brothers rode nonstop through the bad weather to tell him about it? Or should he tell her that he found out by coincidence during his own investigation? If he told her the truth, Poliana would feel grateful to Sir Howe and Sir Donau, but it would also make her feel guiltier and more embarrassed. If he lied to her, then at least, she would think that not many people knew about her embarrassing situation.

The emperor decided to lie for her feelings.

“Sir Pol, you know how important you are to me. I did my own research on that man to make sure he was worthy of you.”

“I did too…”

Poliana was impressed with the Intelligence Unit once again.

‘Wow, the Intelligence Unit must be a powerful organization.’

The emperor replied, “It is obvious that the Sneke family purposely kept this a secret. The older members of that family would know all about what happened to Frau, but the younger ones obviously wouldn’t remember.”

“…”

“Don’t feel too upset. There aren’t that many people who know about this. Your breakup won’t result in bad rumors.”

“It’s not the rumors I am afraid of.”

Ugly and strange rumors followed Poliana everywhere since the beginning. She was used to them and she expected them to be with her always. The important things were whether or not these rumors were true and if people would dare to speak of them in her presence. If these rumors weren’t true, Poliana didn’t mind them.

What bothered her the most in this situation was the fact that the emperor had to get involved to fix it. How does he feel about this mess? Until this afternoon, Poliana had no idea about the truth about Frau. It seemed that Lucius the First made sure his own investigation and the findings remained hidden from the public. By doing this, he allowed Poliana to be able to punish the criminal on her own terms.

Poliana felt so thankful and ashamed.

And now… She began to regret her decision. Poliana asked, “Do you think I was too kind to him? Was that punishment too light?”

Should she have ripped all of his limbs off and hang him in the public square? Poliana provided a weak excuse, “I didn’t rip his limbs off because of the child there.”

“No, Sir Pol. You did very well.”

“Should I have sent the child away and ripped his arms off?”

“Well, I must admit that you were indeed very generous back there…”

Initially, Poliana planned on beheading Frau to be kind. Her life has been filled with blood and she did not hesitate to kill when necessary. The elderly Sir Bika once told her that not all murderers are knights, all knights are murderers; Polina knew that this was very much true.

She was a murderer. In fact, she studied and was trained to kill. It was her job and her career, which meant that anyone who hurt her reputation needed to pay with their life. The only reason why she didn’t kill Frau back in the village was because of the child. She thought that killing a child’s father in front of him was too cruel.

Lucius the First said to her again, “I do think you were a little too kind, especially considering what he did.”

Poliana laughed bitterly and replied, “I guess I will now have another nickname, a eunuch maker.” She bit her lips, making Lucius the First’s heart jump. She added, “I apologize again, your highness, for being such an idiotic knight…”

Only

“Stop, Pol. You need to know that I like you the way you are. I like you because you are the way you are.”

Who cares if the woman he loved was a professional eunuch maker? It just meant that the other men would be too afraid to approach her. Less competition for him.

Who cares if the woman he loved was a knight? If for some reason, she gets kidnapped, she would be able to survive on her own until he rescued her, this was a good thing.

So what if the woman he loved was ugly? Again, less competition for him!

Lucius the First smiled kindly at her. He was a youthful beauty before, and now, he had matured into a gorgeous man. Poliana’s cheeks reddened as she stared at his smile. It wasn’t from slapping herself; it was from something different.

‘I swear, I will never even think about getting married again.’

Poliana thought in determination. She had no idea how sad her thought would make her emperor.