BXBX NOVEL Chapter 87: I Still Love You
“Princess, His Majesty has returned.”
Evelyn turned her head, moving her blue eyes, “I know.” She thought Fabian would call her first, but the prediction was wrong. It seemed Fabian was badly injured too.
“First of all, it took time to get treatment by a medic.”
“Did he say anything else?”
“Oh, His Majesty sent a secret message to the Felice Kingdom to inform the news. So don’t worry too much.”
Sending word to Arthur, it was a gentle caring that wasn’t like Fabian. However, he had to, because if Arthur lost contact with the two of his family who was taken away one-sidedly, he definitely wouldn’t stay still.
“Looks like His Majesty hasn’t been looking for the Princess yet. I apologize, but I have to go see His Majesty right now. If you need anything else ……. “
Evelyn raised one hand and stopped him from speaking. “Sir Serus. Why is the medic seeing Adrian so often?” There was deep anxiety buried in her calm voice. At first, Evelyn thought it was a simple examination, but it was too frequent.
“Why do the medic keep putting Adrian to sleep?”
Evelyn wasn’t even allowed to see the treatment process. She could only see the medics back and forth carrying Adrian, who was fast asleep. When Evelyn tried to ask something, everyone immediately ran away and didn’t want to answer her question. So she had no choice but to try to understand.
“I don’t know anything about that.”
Serus’ expression was calm. He didn’t seem to hide something. Then Evelyn decided to lure Serus and ask him because he was bad at lying, “Then, does His Majesty know about this?”
“Maybe, since he’s the one who called the medics.”
“All right.” As expected, Serus was honest. And Evelyn took a deep breath, “You said you’re going to meet His Majesty, right?”
“Yes.”
“Then, I’m coming with you.” Evelyn raised herself before Serus could answer.
“But t-that’s a little…you need to get some rest.”
Serus’s face was pale from fatigue and anxiety. Evelyn, who wore a simple dress while living in the fort, styled her hair to make it less embarrassing for anyone to see
“If Your Majesty refuses, then I’ll rest.”
Serus nodded reluctantly and stepped forward first. The whole decision was a matter for the two to settle anyway.
After opening the bandage, Fabian relaxed for a while, wearing a linen shirt that was a bit loose. He had a very hard time the last few days, but the worst part was when he had a headache like now.
“It’s easier to deal with the Demon.”
Everything that could be solved with a sword was better. And he found it much easier to rule the country as Emperor. Problems like this could also be ended easily with Fabian’s orders. Since it was also the only solution, he knew.
“But…” Fabian rarely hesitated. At some point, Evelyn seemed to have become the most difficult person for Fabian to deal with in the world.
Fabian was confident that he could make decisions quickly. But whenever he remembered Evelyn’s desperate eyes, he kept hesitating. Thinking about her who hid Adrian’s existence, even though Fabian was angry like fire, but a corner of his heart was pounding.
Knock, knock……
A knocking sound at the door suddenly broke Fabian’s reverie. “Serus, come later.” Fabian answered briefly and turned his eyes out of the window. His chest was stuffy so that he couldn’t shut his eyes for a bit.
Knock, knock……
But the knocking sound bothered Fabian again.
“Haaahh.” He felt like his stomach was going to burst. And when he heard Serus’ knock, his fever suddenly rose. Fabian got up from his chair, rushed to the door, turned the knob, and opened it roughly.
” Don’t you understand my words…..” Fabian immediately stopped the words he was about to spit out. In front of him right now was Evelyn, who was thin and confused. And he found Serus stood a few steps behind her.
“It’s not Sir Serus’ fault. I insisted on seeing Your Majesty.” Evelyn opened her mouth to give an excuse. Fabian glared at his aide over Evelyn’s shoulder. But somehow, it was too late.
“… Could you spare me some time?” But Evelyn didn’t step back and bit her lips tightly, “It’s okay even if it’s only for a moment.”
Eventually, Fabian sighed. Evelyn’s complexion was terrible. Besides, her condition was much messier than the current situation. This was the first time Fabian had seen Evelyn so weak that he could neither refuse nor push her out.
Fabian took a step backward instead of answering. Then Evelyn stepped in carefully and closed the door behind her back.
“What should I say first?”
The tired tone on Evelyn’s voice provoked anger in Fabian’s heart for no reason. If she was so cold and arrogant, she should have done well to the end. But why did she look so pitiful right now?
“I did it because I wanted to. There is no need for gratitude or apology.” Fabian said.
The night breeze blowing through the window was freezing. Today, Evelyn’s shoulders looked so small. Fabian frowned at such a figure and threw the blanket beside him at Evelyn, “Cover yourself and sit down.” Fabian pointed his eyes at the chair.
“No, how could I…….”
“Since when have you been polite to me?”
Hearing Fabian’s harsh voice, Evelyn reluctantly sat on the chair and covered her lap with a blanket. What a strange view in this room, which only had one chair. The Emperor was standing, and she was sitting.
“It was you, Evelyn, who threw everything against me.”
Before the deadly incident occurred, Evelyn denied that Fabian was Adrian’s father. She refused to admit it to the point of risking her own life. In the end, if Adrian’s life weren’t in danger, she would have been like that to the end.
“Back then, when I gave that child an antidote, I … I didn’t know what to feel.”
Fabian’s low voice was filled with resentment. Evelyn quietly lowered her head in front of him. To Fabian, she was a traitor who secretly gave birth and raised his child after divorcing him for no reason.
“I will accept it if you admit that you’re wrong.”
But now both knew the truth. Even the fact that they had known each other.
“Your Majesty, I’m now talking about Adrian…….”
“No. You have to give me an answer right now. You can’t do anything until I get a clear answer.” Fabian came to a step closer. “Because otherwise I’m going to go crazy.” His deep-low voice rang right in front of her. Fabian’s black eyes were looking down at Evelyn. His breath and the look in his eyes seemed to scratch her.
“Why.” Fabian came up with a painful word. “Why did you do that?” He always wanted to ask. If only he could know the reason, maybe it would be less painful.
“With what kind of thinking ?” Fabian breathed slowly, trying to control his soaring anger.
For the first time, Evelyn felt Fabian’s feelings flared up. His emotions in the dark were as fierce and intense as a storm. Suddenly, she remembered how scary Fabian was. It wouldn’t be surprising if Evelyn died at his hands now.
“Why….Why!” In a low, terrifying voice, Fabian stretched out his hand roughly. Evelyn was ready to face the worst and close her eyes, but she couldn’t stop her shaking shoulders.
But, no matter how long she waited, Fabian’s hand didn’t touch her. When Evelyn opened her eyes, his hands wandered through the air and took Evelyn’s.
“I… … What should I feel?”
Evelyn’s heart ached at those depressing words. She always thought that Fabian didn’t have this kind of feeling. But it was Evelyn’s arrogance. There wouldn’t be a person without feelings in this world, but she didn’t know it. No, she didn’t want to know.
“I’ve never been so depressed like this since I was born.” he said. It had never felt this hard to breathe since he lived in this Empire.
“I am so distressed now. I’m going insane right now and I think my head will explode.” Evelyn’s blue eyes trembled when Fabian cried desperately.
“Even if I had a knife stuck in my chest, it wouldn’t hurt this much.” Fabian had no strength anymore. His hand, which held Evelyn’s, dropped hard. His pain spread like a poison.
“No. That’s better ….. It’s fine if everyone in this world is afraid of me. I don’t care if they hate me.”
Fabian didn’t want to admit it, so he denied the reality, but it was useless.
“But …… Evelyn, does it have to be you?” His black eyes dug painfully into Evelyn’s heart, “What the hell have I done to you!” The overflowing feelings that Fabian had been holding back all this time finally erupted. Evelyn couldn’t answer and only bit her lip.
He was suffering for a mistake he hadn’t made yet. Tears rolled down the cheeks of Evelyn, who was speechless. Fabian’s body temperature, who held her hand, felt burning, and it made her heart hurt even more.
“Look at me, Evelyn.” Fabian begged, “Why … things turned out like this?”
There were so many lonely nights. Fabian didn’t laugh since Evelyn left. Such helpless years had passed. It was Fabian’s lonely struggle. He was an Emperor who couldn’t fall for a day, and what could help him through those days was a belief that someday, Evelyn would come back.
“I was wrong.”
It was an empty word. When he spoke those words out of his mouth, it seemed that all the strength that supported Fabian had disappeared. Without knowing it, Fabian fell and slumped in front of Evelyn.
“Ha………..”
Evelyn doubted her eyes, but Fabian didn’t move. He still held Evelyn’s hand, even though he was kneeling in front of her. As if her hand was the only string of hope.
“I can’t stand it any longer.” Fabian said as if he were doing atonement.
“Evelyn.” Fabian buried his head in her lap, “I’m tired…..”
The tears belonged to Evelyn, but she felt it was Fabian who was crying.
“I’m so tired….”
Evelyn unwittingly reached Fabian’s head and then paused for a moment.
“Why did you leave me, I asked myself, and I blamed myself …… that was too cruel. Every countless night, every time I was alone, every time an indelible memory appeared, it was so cruel to miss it. ” Fabian looked up, staring at Evelyn. His eyes were watery. There were painful, sad, and longing feelings in it.
And also ….. there were memories of love remained.
“Evelyn…..I loved you.”
Another drop of her tears flowed before his confession was over.
“And I still love you…..”
Fabian reached out and wiped Evelyn’s tears away, “I have no choice but to do so for the rest of my life.”
Only
Now Fabian was once again begging for her love. For the first time, he laid down all his pride, clinging to Evelyn as a man.
“Is it still not enough?” Fabian asked calmly. No matter what happened today, he had to listen to Evelyn’s answer. There was nothing more to hesitate or to waste. An Emperor had knelt in front of her, so what else Fabian could give?
“If I split my heart and take it out and put it in your hand, will you know my suffering?”
“No, no…….” Evelyn’s voice trembled faintly.
“You hate me. That’s why you gave me this pain, didn’t you? It wasn’t a rebuke. Fabian was sincere.
Evelyn’s neck was choked by the pain in his eyes that was so deep.
And she couldn’t get away from those eyes.