Chapter 48
‘Felix, your shirt fit is completely different.’
No matter how much the robe covered, the physique of the body was roughly revealed.
Originally, Felix would have been a skinny model as he was tall, had a small face and broad shoulders. Tight pants with an oversized long coat would look good on him…….
It was never a body that revealed the contour of his muscles when he wore a shirt.
Honestly, I never heard of a muscular sorcerer in my life. It was a fact, not a prejudice.
The smooth but well-defined muscles obviously belonged to a warrior. It was a body that was unattainable without constant training.
Felix was a sorcerer, and I had never seen him use his own body to fight. I had only seen him flick his fingers to knock down an assassin a few times.
Although he completed minimum physical training, it wouldn’t have been enough to achieve such a body.
‘Did you get muscular overnight without exercising under your own authority?’
Even if it was a novel, it was ridiculous.
There was only one possibility. Felix, influenced by the devil, not only became incredibly strong but also incredibly fit.
That may be so, but what kind of devil would become involved with the human body? Although I couldn’t figure it out, I closed my eyes and tried to empty my mind as much as possible.
I definitely didn’t see anything. I didn’t think of anything.
I feared that I was out of my mind. I was confused about what his body and muscles meant in this current situation.
Felix was the one who held the power of the devil, but it felt like I was the one controlled by the devil in everything.
Or was he already the devil himself? Was it a test to try and seduce me?
If so, you obscene devil, get out of here!
And then, Martina’s words echoed in my mind, previously filled with worldly anguish.
“When you fall in love with a fine man, no reason is needed. Once you feel it, you’ll always want to become their better half1.”
Was that why older sister2 liked the nuclear waste, Benjamin? She couldn’t break away and continuously wanted to become his better half?
Yeah, that’s possible. What a terrifying deal.
However, she had to awaken from it. There were so many men in the world, so she should meet a man who was kind and good-natured.
Even with her intelligence, in the past, she did not use it and choose nuclear waste instead.
‘This is a strange flow of consciousness.’
Nevertheless, it was fortunate that I could quell my anguish when I recalled my anger at the useless three brothers.
Having confided in my thoughts and distanced myself from the topic of muscles, I took a deep breath and slowly lifted my eyelids.
Felix was pondering over whether his shirt was perhaps too tight since he felt slightly uncomfortable.
After a moment of contemplating, he freed a couple of buttons that had been neatly buttoned up to the base of his neck. Every time he moved his arms and shoulders, I caught a glimpse of his sharp collarbone.
The scene of him changing into his shirt automatically popped into my mind.
‘Oh, please don’t test me!’
I was distressed because I was acting like trash in front of someone who was already injured.
I shook my head and managed to escape the muscle obsession.
Felix kept his mouth closed, quietly immersed in his surroundings.
I asked cautiously, “Can we chat? Or shall we sleep tonight and talk tomorrow?”
He then slowly stared at my shoulder. The lights in his eyes were dull and gloomy.
His deep eyes, the missing glasses, and his smile were entirely unfamiliar, and he was like a stranger. Even his strength and body had changed completely.
“Go get treatment.”
However, Felix was obviously Felix. Seeing him say that sentence immediately and without hesitation.
“It’s nothing.”
“Your left arm……. you can’t move it properly.”
His keen eyes seemed to have noticed that I couldn’t move my left arm properly.
I looked down at my left arm. It was strenuous to lift even a finger. It really was cracked, after all.
Looking at it made me abruptly feel dizzy and nauseous.
In this situation, I couldn’t be of any help and only made him worried. It was painfully clear how incompetent and useless I was.
“I’ll bring back the family doctor.”
Felix, who voiced his intention of calling the doctor, turned his back without hesitation and prepared to leave again.
“And…… I will never let anyone get hurt.”
I stared at his retreating back but suddenly came to my senses when I heard that sentence.
It was like a flame flinging itself into a pond in fear of burning everything. It was unaware of how brilliantly it had lighted up the world.
I was infuriated by his firm determination to undertake everything alone, but I realized it was his nature that couldn’t be altered and sighed.
“It’s no big deal. It’s fine, so don’t worry about it. The doctor will fix it.”
Felix stopped walking and let out a harsh breath. He seemed to be angry at what I said.
“It’s a bad habit to say, it’s fine.”
“…….”
‘Felix, are you talking about yourself now?’
“It’s okay, I’m fine, I’m confident in enduring it.”
Who was the one who spoke like this?
‘You seem to know you have a bad habit.’
Whether he was embarrassed or not, he continued firmly without hesitation, “Don’t make me mistakenly think you’re okay. I might hurt you badly one day.”
But if I wasn’t okay, Felix would get hurt.
After accepting the power of the devil, he made that kind of expression after he hurt me.
‘You don’t want to hurt me.’
If I got seriously hurt, I would walk away without hesitation. But how could I tell him I was in pain?
“I don’t want to hear that from someone with a hole in their shoulder.”
“Irene has nothing to do with it.”
“It’s the same for Felix. You’re a victim who did nothing wrong.”
I flatly spat out my opinion, imitating his firm tone.
I was not afraid to admonish the Crown Prince, who was insane, and I did the same to Benjamin, who held the title of a duke.
If I did not like it, I would make it clear that I disliked it. If someone grabbed my wrist and acted forcibly, I might not be able to fight with strength, but I could kick first.
Some would say it was reckless, but that was my original nature. It was never my nature to hold it in and smile at a person who I hated.
But Felix was different from them. Metaphorically, it was like heaven and earth2.
They were vermin crawling on the floor, while Felix was a beautiful bird. Although he had an injured wing, I hoped he would be able to fly freely in the sky one day.
It was none other than Felix who said he was fine when he wasn’t.
“Felix doesn’t want me to feel hurt whenever he gets hurt, right?”
‘Don’t be afraid of me’ – I looked up at Felix with such a gaze.
“As much as I don’t want to get hurt, I don’t want Felix to get hurt either.”
“There are some things you can’t change. It’s like how you can’t pick up water.”
Although that was true…….
“If it’s Felix, I’ll be fine with anything you do to me.”
“So that’s what I’m saying…….!”
He ran his palm down his face and said, puffing out an exasperated breath.
“…….if you know what I’m thinking, you’ll never say that.”
Suddenly, I recalled what I was thinking about before.
On the contrary, Felix would freak out if he knew what I was thinking.
Although it was impossible to stop people from thinking, an indescribable sense of shame suddenly washed over me.
‘Anyhow, it’s just a thought.’
I knew that he was worried about the power he received from the devil. And I did not doubt that he was afraid of hurting me because he was having a hard time controlling his strength.
However, I had no choice but to be puzzled at his sudden remark. What could be on his mind?
Felix, who read my expression, gave a forced smile.
I was shocked again that he could make such an awkward expression.
Come to think of it, it was strange. I understood why Felix avoided physical contact with me, but he couldn’t even maintain eye contact with me as well. Obviously, he was hiding something that he couldn’t tell me.
Was he really thinking about hurting me? This ‘Felix’?
To sum it up, he didn’t want to hurt me enough that I died, but at the same time, he had an urge to harm me.
I couldn’t understand it, but it must be undeniably painful. He really didn’t want to do it, but it was the impulse of the devil.
I didn’t want him to suffer, so I wanted to ask him to tell me what he was struggling with so that I could listen and make a decision. But his darkened expression looked so dismal, I couldn’t say anything.
He looked like a devout believer who had committed a sinful act. I couldn’t bring myself to get in the way. I didn’t think I should.
“I think I overestimated myself too much. I’m not very patient,” Felix said.
He then held his breath for a while until he let out a dry-heave.
He quickly shut his mouth, but his hands weren’t faster than my eyes. I clearly saw red blood flowing from his lips.
I could not help but freak out.
“Blood, blood……!”
Felix was vomiting blood!
It was imprinted in my mind that ‘vomiting blood = deadly disease,’ so that was my first thought.
My mind was blank, and I forgot the current situation and rushed in front of him.
“Kul-leog, I’m……. I’m fine. Stay away from me.”
Felix pushed me away with his shoulder mercilessly.
Although I understood why he pushed me away, I was shocked and hardened in a daze. He utterly pushed me away – I couldn’t even get close to him.
No, this wasn’t the time to attach meaning to these little things and be upset.
Even if he had internal injuries, the doctor would have treated him. Yet, he vomited blood.
The moment I thought I should bring the doctor back as there must be a massive issue, something strange occurred.
Felix looked around with his reddish rimmed eyes, then stumbled towards the decorative sword mounted on the wall.
Even though it was for decorative purposes, the sword was so sharp that it could seriously injure people if stabbed deliberately with it.
He suddenly gave it to me. I staggered for a moment under the weight of the sword, glanced down at it, and then looked back up at Felix.
He said with a heavy breath.
“If he’s about to do something disgusting, stab him with this.”
“…….what?”
Who? By any chance, not Felix, right?
“Maybe he’ll come to his senses.”
Felix, who left only this sentence, turned his back and disappeared without a moment to spare.
I looked alternately at the cracked left arm, the right hand lifting the sword and the splotches of red blood on the floor.
Soon after, the doctor who received Felix’s call found me from a distance and hastily ran towards me.
I did not know what to think4.
It was a night full of confusion, where I didn’t know what the hell was going on.
T/N: Hope you enjoyed this chapter, everyone! (I’m glad that Irene is trying to help Felix however she can). Also, let’s all bow down to the first muscular sorcerer, Felix!!! XD
1. A “better half” is someone’s husband, wife or usual sexual partner.↩
2. This is similar to the idiom “night and day”. It is used to emphasis extreme differences.↩
3. Irene refers to Martina as “older sister”.↩
4. “I didn’t know what to think” expresses a state of confusion, uncertainty or mixed emotion so intense as to impede thought.↩