Chapter 29
In my case, the conversation should go smoothly. I nodded with an awkward smile.
“I don’t socialize at all, but I know that I’m currently a topic for a lot of people.”
“It’s said that Lady Chamberlain picked flowers for Lady Amber.”
At that moment, Erica brought up the subject that had been left in the dust1.
If Erica was aware of that, it meant she had heard that Claudia had a chance to enter the greenhouse, a place where Erica herself had never entered.
Additionally, Erica would know that Claudia was permitted to go in and pick the flowers she liked.
“You seem to be very affectionate.”
I didn’t know who she was referring to. It was unclear whether her statement was directed at Claudia and me or Lucas and Claudia.
Her eyes that seem to have darkened was the most notable expression.
Erica soon returned to her mask-like expression as if there had been no change.
I decided that from now on, I’d try to break her composure.
I said, smiling brightly as if I just remembered Erica’s words.
“It was a rose flower. Now that I think about it, it looked a lot like you.”
“…….”
She was speechless for a moment at the undisguised praise.
Erica was a gorgeous beauty with red hair and light green eyes.
It was an obvious compliment that could be made simply by looking at the color combination. Erica must have heard the praise that she was “like a rose flower” numerous times. Perhaps it was nailed into her ears2.
“……That’s what I hear often.”
However, as the other person was the opponent, it seemed that it couldn’t be taken lightly.
She showed a slightly wary look.
‘Are you trying to play tricks with me now?’
That’s what it looked like she was asking.
There was a rumor circulating that I’d seduced Claudia, so my words sounded like a trick.
Right. I’m trying to seduce you.
I opened my mouth nonchalantly, imitating Claudia’s innocent look, and spoke calmly.
“It was called Bellaroma.”
“It means a beautiful scent.”
“But after smelling it, there was only a faint smell of grass.”
On the contrary, the aroma of the freesias mixed with the roses was very fragrant.
I thought of the flower and continued.
“It was very beautiful, but I guess, in order to make it bloom more beautifully, it lost its fragrance along the way.”
“Is that so? Even though it lost its fragrance, it was chosen and plucked. That would be the best luxury for a flower.”
I tilted my head at her words and asked.
“Is it the will of the flowers to be a luxury? Or is it the human’s will?”
Erica raised her eyebrows slightly and then looked me up and down.
She suddenly seemed to be trying to figure out my intention of dragging the conversation towards somewhere strange.
After a while, she said as if it were obvious.
“That’s the role of flowers. If it’s beautiful, that’s enough.”
“When did humans start to represent flowers? Flowers just bloom.”
“…….”
When people saw Erica who was born into a wealthy and powerful family, they would say that she had grown up with no shortcomings.
But from what I’d heard from Martina about Erica’s past, the word ‘abuse’ wasn’t enough to describe it.
Of course, as a future Crown Princess, there was no physical abuse.
However, the Depallacion family completely destroyed Erica mentally and made her thoroughly learn of obedience.
Even if she was given the empress’s seat, she was made into a scarecrow who couldn’t judge for herself.
Erica stared down at me with her eyes narrowed.
I laughed stupidly in an attempt to make her lower her guard.
“Yesterday, I accidentally heard Lady Amber’s private story. A marriage offer had come in.”
“Ah…… yes. You heard.”
Of course, I had deliberately shouted so that everyone could listen, but I felt embarrassed and rubbed my neck unconsciously.
Despite the clearly disrespectful behavior, Erica didn’t show any displeasure and just stared at me.
Even if she was strict with herself, she was generous to others.
“Isn’t it good for the lady? No matter how great the Chamberlain family is, they wouldn’t be responsible for you for their whole life.”
Erica spoke as she looked at me. I suppose it was because if I really left the Chamberlains, I’d be at a disadvantage.
However, this marriage was arranged by the Crown Prince.
And it was a matter that entangled interests with other countries.
Even if Erica hadn’t been publicly informed, she would probably have figured it out.
So Erica would never try to become involved in this. Not that this case would have threatened the empress seat.
She was the prince’s fiancée and the only bloodline of Depallacion, so she had sufficient strength and qualifications.
“Will it really?”
“It may be hard to say that it is no less than the Chamberlains, but you can still enjoy everything you want.”
“I will probably be unhappy.”
I said it without hesitation as if foreseeing the future.
Erica frowned slightly at my words.
In a situation where she was starting to feel a faint sense of similarity through my predicament, because I called the choice an ‘unhappy’ one, it was natural for her to feel offended.
“To get one, you have to lose one3. And it’s not only your business.”
“Is it my will or someone else’s will?”
“…… It is everyone’s will.”
“I wonder why I can’t follow my will.”
“Flowers have no will. The lady will also have no will.”
Erica’s flame-like hair that curled up to her waist looked strong, but her green eyes were like tender leaves with dewdrops, emitting a delicate atmosphere.
After all, she resembled a flower in a greenhouse.
Even if the beautiful delicate flower had sharp thorns, the thorns could inevitably be trimmed and broken.
“If you get rid of the endless greed of humans who are never satisfied, then flowers will also have a will.”
“…….”
“It’s sad that it blooms once and is then broken, without knowing the scent of life.”
Erica just widened her eyes, as if she finally understood my intentions, and smiled.
It was the first time that a real smile came on her lips, not a pretense. It was almost a laugh.
“I did recognize that you approached me intentionally.”
As expected, my flimsy acting didn’t seem to work.
“I cannot fool the lady’s eyes.”
In the eyes of the socialite queen, I must have looked like a wrinkle chrysalis4.
She was the only daughter of a great family, while there were one or two people like me.
But even then, Erica didn’t specifically point it out until she heard all I had to say. She didn’t even drive me away.
It meant that I had attracted the attention and curiosity among the numerous aristocrats close to her.
In that respect, it would be good to say that the plan was already half successful.
“Did you captivate Lady Chamberlain like this?”
“If so, will you come over?”
I playfully winked, making a heart gesture with my fingers5, and blew it.
This time, Erica didn’t smile. Instead, she slowly stepped back, showing a flustered expression.
‘What on earth is she doing?’
From her face, it seemed like she had no immunity to this kind of attack.
From her bewildered gaze, it seemed like she was confused about whether it would be better to ignore it or not……
I guess it was too much. I humbly put my hands together, recalling the word that I had ‘overpaid’.
Erica sighed at me and said.
“Even if you ask me for help, I won’t help you.”
Oh, it’s a shame that I was rejected before I even mentioned anything.
However, I didn’t care at all about Erica’s cold-hearted words as she tried to draw a line6.
It was because I knew she would get swept away7 by me after listening to my words.
“I’m not going to be swayed by my father’s greed. I’m going to follow my heart.”
“I know one thing for sure. Your choice will only be worthless, and only pain will follow.”
“How so?”
“Someday, you will be abandoned by the Chamberlains and left alone.”
Erica stated. It was because of the endless brainwashing from her family.
The family’s will was always the right way as it would allow you to gain everything. In contrast, to follow one’s own will was considered wrong and would only be met with miserable results.
“Do you really think so?”
I was convinced then.
She didn’t love the prince, but she couldn’t survive unless she had a relationship.
In a situation where she could never escape from the shadows of her family, she had tried to deceive her own heart.
Of course, it may have led to her heartfelt love for Lucas later on.
I already knew what the end would be if Erica fell in love with Lucas while being stuck in the shadows of her family.
I wonder if that was what a miserable ending meant for Erica. She would have done terrible things to Claudia, things that she wouldn’t have been proud of.
Like the heroes, it wasn’t a personality disorder that they didn’t feel anything while wielding, using, and killing others with power.
It was the fate of being used by the Crown Prince for the rest of their life.
When dying at the hands of the Crown Prince, wouldn’t you think about the word ‘regret’?
Would you be confident that you wouldn’t be unhappy even if you died without knowing your heart and not being able to lead your own life?
“Even if it’s something that I want to push away because I don’t want it in the first place?”
“Yes. No one cares about the scent of ornamental roses.”
Ornamental flowers could only be improved, trimmed, and bloomed as humans wanted.
But you know what.
“Then it would just fall into the hands of humans and slowly wither and die.”
Erica was different from the flowers. She had the free will to run out of the greenhouse on her own.
It was her family that kept her in the greenhouse. But it was herself who tied her own ankles.
“What’s really worthless and painful is not looking into your heart. If you ask yourself what you want to do and you don’t admit it, you’ll be unhappy.”
It was like crossing the vast ocean without a compass. Who knew where the boat would reach while it was swept back and forth by the current without any indicators.
“Once you have a direction and take the first steps, it’s easier than you think to move forward. I call it a choice that you won’t regret whatever the outcome.”
And that was something you couldn’t achieve ever unless you made up your mind.
I declared as I put an end to all the questions.
“If you help me, I’ll show you what kind of scent the will of flowers bear.”
And there was no doubt that my words aroused Erica’s curiosity.
T/N: Wow, there’s a lot of footnotes ahaha. I hope you enjoyed this chapter everyone and didn’t mind the footnotes! I’ll post chapter 30 shortly as well~. See you all soon. Also, Happy Lunar New Year everyone!🏮🧧🐂
1. If something/someone is “left in the dust,” it means that it/they were left behind.↩
2. This plays on the saying: “(to) have a nail hammered into your ear.” It means to be tired of hearing something that has been repeated multiple times.↩
3.The author plays with the idiom: “You win some, you lose some” meaning that it’s not possible that everything will go in the direction you want it to.↩
4. A chrysalis is the insect pupa of a butterfly or moth.↩
5. This is a popular gesture in South Korea where the thumb and index finger of one hand are crossed to form a heart shape. (If you want to google it, you can search for ‘finger heart’).↩
6. To ‘draw a line between something’ means when you try to set boundaries/a limit to what you will do or allow to happen.↩
7. The author is implying that she will be ‘swept away’ emotionally i.e. awed or overwhelmed, typically in a positive way.↩