Chapter 74
When she first appeared in the novel, Rebecca was already in love with Castor. This is compared to how all the details of the process in which each of the men fell for Rusbella were described from A to Z. Even those who were reading the novel felt anxious. It had been a painful love.
Of course, Rebecca was not a good woman. She removed the other young lovers who also had a crush on Castor one by one, leaving her to be the only contender. However, contrary to her expectations, the result of her love was disastrous.
“The end of the poet’s love so tragic, he swore to never love again.”
If only she could melt and flow into me, I could bring spring to her. This girl who did not know of love was like a block of ice. I doubt I could carve her out with love alone. If I stuck my chin out, she would tilt her head. What good would it be for the beautiful girl to fall in love with me?
Feeling my stare, she slowly turned around to look at me.
“Mistress.”
“Yeah.”
Rebecca’s eyes were dark and of a vivid black.
“Is it hard to focus?”
Her deep coloured calm eyes made her look more mature and overwhelming. I looked at her and spoke slowly.
“I’ve been wondering. Why did Rebecca become my lady-in-waiting?”
Then, the delicate face which seemed to have been moulded by a skilled craftsman cracked slightly. I had been thinking about it for a while but I could never find the right time to ask. Now, I was asking this question two weeks late.
had not wanted to ask her right away because she brought with her a storm when she first came. I could not find the right timing to ask her something along the lines of ‘How could someone as precious as you end up in such a shabby place?’.
She then replied me with a frown.
“The biggest reason why I’m here is because my mother sent me here.”
“You didn’t come to see me?”
“Yes.”
She was very blunt.
Why did I not feel like refuting her even as she spoke haughtily?
‘Rebecca can be the princess just fine…’
If Rebecca had not been a Duke’s daughter with a well-known face, I would have placed the crown on her and let her go in my stead! It would have looked much better on her.
“I see. So it was not for me… But you had no choice but to come…”
Rebecca closed the book shut and looked at me gracefully. Her small lips seemed to be mulling over what she should say next.
“To speak frankly, yes. I was not even expecting you to be my mistress.”
I must have been mistaken. It almost sounded as if she was saying she had not expected me to be above her in status.
“I don’t think I can see myself belonging here.”
Right.
By the way, if robbers were to break in, would she just greet them? ‘From now on, I was going to steal all kinds of things including precious gems and money from your house.’ Would she just reply with a ‘Then please excuse us’? Would she still elegantly explain how stealing those things would give her a hard time? Or would she just not suspect them at all.
“Well, I see. Your honesty surprised me.”
“I do not want to lie.”
Maybe she did not think it was worth lying. As I continued thinking these wicked thoughts, Rebecca continued.
“The world we are living in does not move through the sheer goodwill and kindness of people. You are the one and only princess. You will need to keep that in mind that more often, mistress.’
Just like how they were in the beginning, Rebecca’s eyes were dark and cold.
“Hm.”
I understood what she meant but I continued to smile as if I did not.
“I don’t know. I don’t know anymore.”
I supported my chin with both my hands as I swung my legs.
“Would you mind not sticking your lips out?”
Rebecca tilted her head.
“It’s not like I’m taking care of an 8-year-old.”
Rebecca sighed before slowly explaining.
“I’ll explain it to you once more. A princess having a lady-in-waiting, or a ‘Unica’, is an old tradition stemming from the first Emperor.”
She was looking at me coldly but her explanation was clear. She looked like a stern teacher.
No, she seemed like the kind who simply could not deal with ignorance.
“The name arose from the two templars who kept the first Emperor’s back safe when he ascended the throne.”
I knew that much. That was why the coming of age ceremony was necessary as well.
“His two templars then took charge of each of the poles. One went north to be named ‘The Guardian who protects his back’ while the other became ‘The Companion who guides whilst holding his hand’ in the south. This has been passed down for a long time.”
Rebecca looked me in the eye.
“The templar that headed north was then titled the ‘Guardian’ and was tasked to escort each member of the Imperial Family. The remaining templar in the south, the ‘Unica’, explains my relationship with you. It means that I am your companion who will guide you as I hold your hand. Do you understand? I have groomed myself to become someone worthy. As long as we are connected, everything I know is yours.”
“Yeah.”
“Though I did not come here out of my own volition, I did not want to abandon my duty.”
I was not sure if I could agree with what she said. Even if that templar must have been precious to the first Emperor, did that really mean that Rebecca and I should have such a relationship?
‘Unica.’
Although the meaning might have been tarnished now, it originally meant ‘the most precious and vital relationship with only one other person’.
In short, it was a relationship that would last a lifetime.
“Ha. You look like you don’t even understand what I’m saying.”
“No, I understood. It means that Rebecca doesn’t like me, right?”
“What I’m saying that the relationship between a lady-in-waiting and her mistress cannot be taken lightly. Do you even know what lady-in-waitings are meant for in the first place?”
“Well, I’m not sure…?”
I tilted my head and blinked slowly.
It was a founding legend. I knew it very well. If it had not been a legend and instead a true story, I would find that a little weird. I lowered my head forward and let my shawl droop down my shoulders.
“I don’t know much about it. However, I know that the relationship between the first Emperor and his unica was not that of master and subordinate.”
I really did not know that. It seemed like Rebecca would like to bring back such a relationship.
“But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world.” (Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince)
The sun shone through the window. Today, the sun was high in the sky without a speck of clouds. I stared at my beautiful lady-in-waiting who was muttering the founding legend as if it was the lyrics of a song.
“Rebecca, are you going to tame me?”
I held my chin up and adjusted my posture before staring at her.
“A friend is a relationship you can only see with your heart after a long time, Rebecca.”
***
I did not know why I would always get blocked and run into obstacles when all I had was this small small wish of being happy whilst living as a normal commoner.
“By now, Rusbella must be happily meeting the male lead.”
Was the male lead more occupied about love instead of his own country because of his wise and beautiful Rusbella?
Why was the world that was so filled with beauty and love so cruel to me?
[Year 825, the 21st day of the month of Helios.
I went outside to play with my lady-in-waiting. Then…]
I could not resent it anymore. The repentance I held that no one understood would come back to gnaw at me.
What did it mean for someone stranded on an abandoned island to give up on hopes of a rescue? What did it mean to look at the ocean and not know which way was land? Just days filled with resignation, hoping that another storm would not arrive. Unable to do anything because of fear.
“Lord Ray.”
But I woke up in search of new hope. I wanted to do something instead of staying crumpled up and waiting for hope to come.
“I have a favour to ask of you.”
I had practised my waltz and managed to dance without stepping on Hannah’s feet. Lord Ray leaned against the wall and stared at me swinging about before tilting his head.
“Say the word.”
I smiled brightly.
“Could you go to the place I tell you to?”
“… This place sounds pretty disturbing.”
He was criticising my recent track records. I would often leave Lord Ray alone with Rebecca to visit Amor so it must have been uncomfortable for him.
It was strange.
‘Wouldn’t men like it if they were left alone with a beauty like Rebecca?’
He rubbed his forehead roughly before staring at me as before.
I could faintly sense annoyance and laziness from his gaze. I wondered what he was thinking about. Pondering, I spoke.
The expression of the Lord who listened to my explanation turned strange.
“What-”
Lord Ray’s face was distorted which was rare. I then spoke.
“I will not answer any of your questions.”
I did not intend for this to happen, but it was nice to see that knight panic like that. He inhaled sharply before his face became much more pleasant.
“Has the Lord become more self-conscious?”
“… That’s not why I did that.”
“Really? Then why did you?”
Light spilled through the window which also brought with it a gust of wind blowing fresh morning air that I could feel immensely. I stared at the knight but for some reason, he avoided my gaze first.
Then he crossed his arms and closed his eyes. As if to say ‘I see.’ How rude.
“Soon, my mother will send you an invitation.’
Rebecca told me. Soon, the Duchess of Aventa would invite me to attend one of the small gatherings she held.
Perhaps this mother and daughter pair was keen on nurturing my experience. But this only wrecked my brain.
I could not do anything without Rebecca. A gathering? Even though she might not be completely on my side, I had to pretend I was close friends with her at least superficially.
“How ugly.”
I knew my weaknesses too well.
Was I seven then? To avoid the plague, I had been sent to the Eastern parts of the Empire and from then I realised how bad my situation was because I was scarred.
“The face of the most beautiful flower in the Empire has been ruined.”
“You call that a face?”
Over there, I had no brothers who would take care of me affectionately. Everyone’s gazes towards me were cold. I was a child who had yet to realise my reincarnation.
“She may be an Imperial, but she is a useless commodity.”
T/N:
Honestly im hoping ashley n rebecca can form the unlikeliest friendship bc that will be cute to see. uwu