BXBX NOVEL Chapter 242 - Free Love
~Earlier~
Zhang Ren was invited to have dinner with Shi Lian's family. With Wang Lei saying that he won't be around this time since he wanted to sleep in his other home, their mother disapproved of his decision.
However, knowing how dead-set Wang Lei is with his decisions all the time, she knew that she won't have a choice but to allow him to do what he wants.
With them already waiting for dinner to be prepared, Shi Lian and Wang Lei's mother never bothered them in the living room, hanging out in the garden with some aunties that she's friends with while Shi Lian spends time with her date.
Shi Lian knew this much that her mother will brag about her "future son-in-law", that is the grandson of someone powerful.
Of course, since Zhang Ren personally asked her not to be so open about it, Shi Lian's mother agreed, still telling the others but not in full detail as she wanted so much to boast about the forming connections of their family.
Shi Lian apologized on her mother's behalf a lot of times, but Zhang Ren just shrugged it off and smiled at her, giving her a kiss on the cheek as they ate ice cream in the living room.
"Oh, I really feel bad that my mother is like this. I'm sorry, Zhang Ren."
"Don't worry. She didn't tell what my grandfather's name is anyway," he said, taking a spoonful of vanilla ice cream in his mouth. "And your mother is so happy. Allow her to do so. It's as if she was never this proud because of your brother. I won't comment in any further."
Shi Lian couldn't help but laugh out loud. With her taking another spoonful of ice cream, she further added on what he said.
"Yeah. My brother may be good in handling our family business, but he's notoriously known for being a womanizer and a person who's always sought by women to break their hearts. Imagine that."
Shi Lian shook her head and took another spoonful, Zhang Ren opening his phone to play some music.
"Want to hear some western music that I like?"
"Sure," Shi Lian immediately answered, nodding as she was curious about what he's listening to.
"Alright. There's this band I like called HONNE. I love their music."
"Let me hear, then."
Zhang Ren clicked on shuffle. With HONNE's song entitled "free love" playing, Zhang Ren knew the song very well for him to sing along with it, Shi Lian hearing him sing for the first time as well.
***
Imagine a house
Way up on a hill
Dog in the yard
The trees in the fields
It's next to the water
It's the prettiest scene
With white picket fences
Or maybe soft green
***
With that part of the song playing and sung, Zhang Ren started to imagine to it as he always do every time he intended to listen to the lyrics of the song.
When he listened to this song for the first time before months ago, he thought if he'd ever think of spending the rest of his life with someone.
A house up on a hill is indeed splendid, more so if they have a dog. A big field with trees in it, with a pond would be a nice scene, really.
***
As wonderful as this all seems
This is beyond our means
It's just a dream
It's just a dream
***
Zhang Ren thought and agreed that the song is right—that it's just a dream. With him thinking about his emotional stability with him being depressed and all, he thought that he won't ever have one since his priority is to get better.
***
I can't get you all that stuff
But I can give you all my love
Free love
Free love
Are the simple things enough?
I got to give you all my love
Free love
Free love
Oh, free love
***
Before when this song would play in shuffle, Zhang Ren wouldn't think of anyone else.
But why suddenly now when he heard this song, the thought of Shi Lian came to his mind?
***
Imagine a place where we can be free
There's no one for miles, it's just you and me
We might have kids
Maybe three
But twins could be cool
That would do it for me
***
Zhang Ren thought that if ever he'd have a family, he'd think the same as the one who composed the song. Three kids sounds wonderful, but twins would be better since he always thought how cool it'd feel to have one.
Two boys at that. Oh, he really couldn't imagine having little girls as children. Boys would be so much easier to raise.
***
As wonderful as this all seems
This is beyond our means
It's just a dream
It's just a dream
***
Zhang Ren stopped singing along to the song. With that part before the chorus now playing, he really wondered if he's going to get this kind of life someday—especially with how he's recovering now.
When will he recover and when will he be happy and contended about his life without having the fear to go back to his family in Country S?
***
I can't get you all that stuff
But I can give you all my love
Free love
Free love
Are the simple things enough?
I got to give you all my love
Free love
Free love
Oh, free love
***
He then started to think if being in a relationship is really a good idea. Of course, it doesn't mean that he regrets being with Shi Lian. It's just that with the reason why he is here in City S, he wondered if it was the right time to be in a relationship.
He is still recovering from his traumas and emotional scars! What if he's not yet ready and what if Shi Lian deserved something more?
What if in the future, there would be another trigger?
He wouldn't want to be weak in front of Shi Lian. He wouldn't want to give less than what she deserved!
***
I can't get you all that stuff
But I can give you all my love
Free love (free love, free love)
Free love (free love, free love)
Are the simple things enough?
I got to give you all my love
Free love
Free love
Oh, free love
***
With the song already ending and with Zhang Ren obviously in a daze, Shi Lian noticed that he was out of it, already furrowing her brows in worry.
"Zhang Ren?"
With her putting her bowl of ice cream down as she held his hand, Zhang Ren slightly flinched upon feeling her cold hand, now snapping out of his thoughts as he looked at his girlfriend.
"Are you alright?"
"Shi Lian."
With Zhang Ren only saying her name, his brows knitted together, obviously worried about something.
"I'm sorry."
"What?"
Shi Lian didn't know why, but she suddenly felt nervous. With her grasp on Zhang Ren's hand tightening, she wondered what he could've meant, not liking the tone of his voice.
"What's wrong? Can you tell me what's wrong?"
Zhang Ren looked as if he was about to cry with how tears started pooling in his eyes. With Shi Lian's heart aching with the sight of this as she never saw him this way, she couldn't help but reach out to his face, cupping it with both of her hands.
"Zhang Ren… tell me. You're making me worry."
With her voice soft and laced with worry, Zhang Ren put his forehead against hers and closed his eyes, answering her question in a whisper.
"I don't know if I deserve you."
"Zhang Ren…" Shi Lian's breath brushed against his lips, warm and cool at the same time. "Why are you suddenly thinking about this? I fell in love with you—you're my first love."
"And I feel the same way," Zhang Ren replied, now opening his eyes so he can look at her. "But I feel that I'm not enough for you—with how broken I am and with how I struggle to face what I'm running away from."
"You mean… your family in Country S?"
"Yes."
With Zhang Ren immediately answering her question, Shi Lian felt the need to reassure him no matter how times it gets—that he's doing a good job recovering on his own before he even met them.
With her thumb caressing his face, Shi Lian initiated a kiss, Zhang Ren's heart racing in his chest with how unexpected and with how tender it felt.
With him closing his eyes as it gave him a sense of comfort, he allowed her to do whatever she wanted, Shi Lian just placing her lips upon his and gave him such a loving kiss.
"You're more than enough, Zhang Ren," Shi Lian said, breaking away from the kiss as she looked straight in his eyes. "You're doing a great job recovering before we entered your life. And we're here for you now. I'm here for you now. And that's what matters."
With Zhang Ren now emotional, he pulled Shi Lian in his arms, giving her a tight embrace as he whispered beside her ear.
"Thank you, Shi Lian… thank you."
With them having a tender moment together, little did they know that Shi Lian's mother was watching over them from a far, a sweet smile on her face as she could see how they genuinely love and support each other.